Chapter 7 – Year 839

The ODM Training Course (Part I)

Author's Note: The extended version of this chapter contains explicit sexual content. You can access it on Ao3. Here is the link – enjoy! archiveofourown./users/antiqui_tea/works

The sky was still dark when Iris left home that morning. As strange as it felt to be up before the sun, a small part of her missed the routine. It was comforting to have a plan – a purpose. She'd had neither in recent months. Dr. Levitt – who visited biweekly – made sure of that. He advised Iris to rest instead of exerting herself.

Rest. She had grown tired of the word.

When she lived in the barracks, Iris seldom slept past five o'clock. There weren't enough hours in the day to begin with, so she couldn't justify wasting them on sleep. The same logic suited her now. Despite his best efforts, the good doctor could not convince her otherwise. The Cadet Corps had taken a willful, self-serving child and turned her into a soldier.

The training grounds sat on the outskirts of Wall Rose – an eight-mile journey from Trost district. On foot, the trip took roughly two hours. It went without saying that Iris' feet were swollen and sore. The pain didn't matter, though; she knew the payoff would be worth it.

Now, the sun was peeking through the frosted foliage. It was a crisp, fall morning – the kind she liked most of all. As she approached the course, Iris inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. The scent of damp moss and pine nettles brought her back to a happier, simpler time. Even now, she could still hear Hange guffawing about her lack of skill.

"You're all tangled up! How the heck did you manage that?!"

Before long, Erwin Smith emerged from the shadow of a large conifer. His voice drew Iris from her memories. "You're late, Wagner," he said flatly.

Iris jumped; she hadn't seen him when she entered the clearing. "Y-You said six," she stammered, checking her watch. "…It's six."

"No," he corrected, "I told you to be ready at six."

Semantics, she thought. Despite her cynicism, the words that came out of Iris' mouth were nothing short of sincere. "I apologize, sir – I must have heard you incorrectly."

"Yes," he agreed, "you must have." Erwin sighed and beheld the girl in his company. To the untrained eye, she looked well enough; but the oversized uniform was a giveaway. Despite Dr. Levitt's recommendation, Iris' body hadn't fully recovered yet. "In any case," he continued, "I think we should revisit the basics first. But before we do…" Erwin paused and met her eyes. "Is your harness on the tightest setting?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, until we get that squared away, I'm not putting you on the course."

"Wait – why not?"

"It isn't safe, Wagner," he replied. "You'll get hurt."

Iris crossed her arms, defeated. As much as she wanted to push her luck, she knew Erwin wouldn't budge. "What am I supposed to do, then? My eval is next month."

"We'll have to fit you for a new harness."

Her eyes widened. "And how long is that going to take?"

"Depends." Erwin scratched the underside of his chin as he mulled it over. "Do you have anywhere to be today?"

"Not particularly, no."

"Alright." He strode away and picked up his case of ODM gear. "Why don't we return to headquarters, then? I'll take some measurements and bring them to the armory." He paused before adding, "I'm sure we can find something in your size."

"And if we can't?"

"Then I'll contact the supplier directly."

Iris hesitated; she felt somewhat guilty for the sudden change of plans. "Thank you," she replied. "I'm sorry for wasting your time."

"You are not wasting my time," he assured. "Quite the opposite, actually. If you and Hange had-"

He didn't need to finish his thought. Iris knew exactly what Erwin meant to say. "I know," she interjected. "I know."

Erwin dropped the subject and turned his attention to the tree line. "Fortunately, Arvo should still be close by."

"Arvo?"

"My horse." A sharp whistle left his lips. "We'll have to ride back together. I hope that's alright."

Iris nodded. After all, what choice did she have? Her feet would be blistered and bloody if they walked. "I don't mind at all."

On horseback, it took about thirty minutes to reach headquarters. Arvo – true to his name – was a proud, well-built steed. Her own horse, Esper, could never have carried two people. At just under 13 hands tall, he was built for speed – not strength.

Esper. Iris' face fell at the thought of her horse. What had become of him after the 19th exterior scouting expedition?

Suddenly, Erwin said, "Are you comfortable, Wagner?"

Iris sat caged between his strong arms as he gripped the reins. "I'm fine," she assured. "What about you?"

"Fine," he echoed.

The silence that followed was awkward, but bearable. It was just as well; Iris could hardly hear herself think, let alone speak. The horse's ragged breathing – coupled with the sound of his hooves – made her ears ring. She resigned herself to it as they rode on. There would be time enough for pleasantries later.

Erwin, by contrast, became dissatisfied with the lack of conversation. He wanted something – anything – to distract him. The situation was hardly ideal; he should have known better than to ride with Iris between his legs. The friction alone made him think lewd, lascivious thoughts.

How long had it been? Erwin entertained the question briefly but was unable to answer it. Instead, he tried to focus on work. He pondered about the unfinished paperwork on his desk and about whether to complete it that afternoon.

Yet, he came back to the same thought every time: she fit against him perfectly.

At last, Wall Rose came into view. Erwin tightened his hold on the reins, determined to reach headquarters before he burst. He had never finished in his trousers and did not intend on doing so now. One thing was certain, however: he would tend to his need before the day was out.

Arvo rode hard at the behest of his master and was absolutely spent by the time they arrived. His sleek, black coat glistened with sweat. As bad as he felt for pushing the horse's limits, Erwin was relieved to have made it back in time. He had reached his limit twice in the last five minutes and his patience was waning.

"Squad Leader Smith! Welcome back, sir."

There were two men posted at the front gate to monitor traffic. Erwin bowed his head in greeting and kept the exchange brief. He wanted nothing more than to disembark. "Thank you, Corporal Jones."

The man stood at attention. "May I stable your horse, sir?"

"Yes," he said, "you may." Erwin dismounted with ease and offered a hand to his passenger. "Oh, and corporal – see that he is fed and watered."

"Yes, sir."

Iris accepted the gesture with a weary smile. "Thank you," she mouthed, climbing out of the saddle. "My legs…I can hardly feel them."

Erwin nodded absently. His mind was elsewhere. "Can I bring you to the dining hall?"

"I thought you wanted to measure me for a new harness."

"I did."

"Did?"

"Do." Erwin took a deep breath and let go of her hand. "I do. But there is something I must attend to first. Is that alright?"

"Of course."

"Thank you for understanding. I will find you when I'm finished."

At long last, he was alone.

Erwin entered his room and quickly shut the door. A flurry of hushed expletives left his lips as he began to undress.

"Damn it, just – fuck," he whispered, unbuttoning his shirt. "What the hell was that? I almost…" The garment floated away and landed in a heap. Erwin – much like his outfit – was coming undone. He gritted his teeth and began to unbuckle his harness. His hands shook as he tugged on the straps. "Shit – come on!"

Had he more sense, Erwin would have laid the cumbersome piece over his chair. Instead, it fell to the floor with an audible clank. He couldn't be bothered to retrieve it – not yet at least.

Next, he unbuttoned his pants. Erwin ached for warmth that had eluded him for months. His hand got the job done, but it was nowhere near as good as the real thing. It didn't matter now, though; he was too far gone to care.

(Fade to Black)

"F-Fuck…so good." He staggered backward and dropped into his chair. It was unlike him to curse, but Erwin couldn't help himself. He pushed a few strands of wet, blonde hair out of his eyes and murmured, "I needed that."

Moments later, his eyes fluttered open. Only then did he realize the extent of his actions. In his fervent state, he forgot to aim; he had unintentionally painted his desk – and the documents on it – white.

Worse still was the guilt pooling in his stomach. Not only had he masturbated to the thought of Fred's sister, but he fantasized about her. His cheeks burned; he was ashamed of himself.

Erwin sat there for a long time, staring blankly at the mess he made. As much as he wanted to clean it up, he couldn't be bothered. How was he supposed to get the stains out of parchment, anyway?

A sudden knock on the door roused him from his stupor. Erwin froze; had he remembered to lock it?

"Erwin, you there? It's Mike. Have to ask you something."

He sighed and hung his head. Mike couldn't have picked a worse time to visit. Of all the men in his life, Mike was the hardest to deceive. His nose was sharper than any other in the Survey Corps.

He knocked again. "Erwin?"

"Yes – hold a moment," he replied. Erwin stood and swept the soiled paperwork together. Then, he placed the pile in one of his desk drawers. "I just woke up from a nap."

"A nap?" he snorted, leaning against the wall. "Wow. Squad Leader Smith sure knows how to party…"

The door opened a few minutes later. Erwin was disheveled, but not terribly so. "Party?"

One look said it all. Mike raised a brow and crossed his arms. "It's your birthday," he said dryly. "Did you forget?"

"No."

"Hope not." He peered into the room to see if Erwin was entertaining. "Fred and I are going out tonight. You in?"

Erwin stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind him. "Sure. I'll tag along."

Mike nodded. "Good. Oh – and you might want to shower." There was a knowing glint in his eye. "You must've had one hell of a dream."

You have no idea, Erwin thought. He was too stunned to reply.

"Alright. Well, I'll see you later. Have to get some PT in before noontime." Mike stepped away, adding, "Meet us in the courtyard around eight o'clock."

"Will do, Mike. See you then." He waved goodbye and reentered his quarters shortly thereafter.

Again, Erwin stared at the mess he had made. Technically, there were two "messes," but he needed to address the tangible one first. The other, being his attraction to Iris, could not be remedied yet.

He sighed, locked the door, and rolled up his sleeves. It was going to be a long day.