A/N: So...um, sorry?
I've got a lot of reasons for the late update, but you probably don't wanna hear them, so I won't bother you with the deets. Just know that I will try my best to make amends.
This is kinda short, but um...I think you'll see why.
Next chapter will hopefully be up somewhat soon. Working out some kinks, but am optimistic.
As for where we last left off, well, let's just say that things aren't looking too good for our favorite sister right about now.
Cloved hoofs clopped over brush as the Queen's Guard followed an increasingly panicked princess and her ice harvester to the North Mountain.
Anna couldn't bring herself to slow down and so she rode her dear horse, Anja, almost into the ground, the rhythmic beats of the mare's hoofs keeping time with the pace of her erratic heartbeats.
Beside her rode Kristoff, the man doing his best to keep pace with Anna, even though he had much less experience on a horse than her. It was for the umpteenth time in an hour that he wished Sven were able to make the trip, but his reindeer buddy was still passed out from their last mountain excursion.
He clasped the reins a little tighter before turning to Anna, who hadn't said a word since the council meeting. "You okay?"
Anna spared him a glance before returned to look straight ahead, "I will be. Once Elsa is awake."
The mountain man nodded slowly, wishing he'd been a little more eloquent with his question. Of course, Anna wasn't okay.
She'd spent all of three days looking for a way to wake her sister up before a dark magical parasite unknown to them all sapped her life force. Add on top of that the sudden weight of a nervous kingdom looking to the princess for guidance and it was no wonder that Anna was close to collapse.
"I'm sorry I wasn't much help back there…with the council."
Anna's jaw clenched, but then she looked back at him, her expression softening as her eyes met his. "I'm not sure I'd have had the courage to face them without you."
He shrugged, "I'm sure you could have. You are capable of more than you know, Anna."
The princess nodded absently, her gaze flickering away from him to focus on her hands. "Do you… do you think they're right?"
"What about?"
She gestured vaguely to the forest. "This. I should be back in Arendelle managing things, Kristoff, not out here traipsing through the forest like some adventurer in search of a thrilling escapade." She swallowed a sudden lump and whispered, "Maybe they're right. I'm too addicted to the glory of being a hero to be a leader, let alone the one Arendelle needs right now."
"That's not true and you know it." Kristoff replied in perhaps the sharpest tone of voice she'd ever heard from him. "Anna, the things they said…they're just jealous they weren't in the loop. But that doesn't make any of their criticisms valid."
"Doesn't it?" She challenged. "I do like being the hero. I do like being the center of attention and being the one who saves the day. I like being the knight in shining armor, Kristoff…and I hate being the damsel in distress."
Kristoff chuckled, "I know that more than anyone, Anna, believe me."
Anna sent a smirk his way before her face fell, "I didn't want to miss out on finding the cure…but I should be back home taking care of the kingdom, like Elsa would be."
"Anna…" His gentle reprimand made her look up, "What you do is different from what Elsa does. You just can't compare your leadership styles, that's not how this works. And that's not what Elsa would want you to do…but you know that, don't you?'
The princess managed a terse nod.
"You're the kind of person who leads an army into battle. That's just your style. You have to be in the thick of it all, be a part of the action, get your hands dirty…sometimes literally." He was pleased to see her crack a small smile.
"Elsa, she's different. I've seen her work, and she's more of a behind-the scenes person. She manages, she doesn't lead the army."
"There's nothing wrong in the way either of you lead, it's just a part of you. If you had stayed behind in Arendelle, you would have been miserable. I don't know if you'd have gotten any work done, but I do know you'd be staring out the window, wondering if we'd made any progress in our search."
The princess chuckled softly at her boyfriend's astute observations. "Someone keeps a close watch, don't they?"
He let out a small laugh, "Well, someone has to, what with the trouble you two get yourselves into."
Beneath the joke, Anna found a kernel of truth. She had relied so much on Kristoff over the past few days, and all the times they'd gotten into problems over the years, that she'd taken his presence for granted. Boyfriend or not, he had no need to be wrapped up in their problems, but he chose to be a constant anchor for her amid the chaos, chose to be there, chose to lend a hand.
"Thanks Kristoff…I don't know what I'd do without you."
He returned a genuine smile, "But I do. You don't need me to support you, Anna. Like I said, you're capable of more than you know."
Anna appreciated the sentiment, even though she couldn't quite agree with his words. Her gaze fell to her hands as she replied softly. "I know you believe that, but I just have a hard time believing in myself and I guess in times like this, it's even harder to have faith in myself-"
"Anna?"
"Cause I'm used to Elsa making the decisions, and it always seems so effortless for her – I mean, I know it's not, because I've seen struggle with some really tough decisions before – but it still feels like she usually knows what she's doing and -"
"Anna?"
"I know, you're gonna say something sweet and kind and supportive and that's so nice of you, Kristoff, but honestly it's just one of those things that I don't-"
"Anna! Look!" Kristoff's horrified shout startled Anna out of her thoughts.
She finally looked up and found a wall of flames with plumes of thick black smoke puffing from what she knew was the only mandrake flower field in all of Arendelle.
And Elsa's last hope.
The cry ripped itself from her throat even before her brain caught up with the sight.
"NOOO!"
She spurred her poor mare into one last frantic gallop, slipping from the saddle once she reached the field – or what was left of it.
The fire was in its dying gasps, the remaining red-hot flames rising up into dangerous, curly plumes that towered over them all. But the damage it had wrought was total and unrelenting.
"The flowers…" The shock lasted for all of thirty seconds before she bolted towards the flames in one last desperate attempt.
"ANNA!"
It was with remarkable speed that Kristoff leapt from his horse and managed to yank Anna from the inferno, but she wriggled in his grasp, "What are you doing?! Let me GO!"
He maintained a firm grip on her wrist. "Anna, you can't just rush in there!"
She tugged against the grasp, wide blue eyes reflecting the flickering light. "Let me go, Kristoff! We have to find that flower!"
He tugged her back, but Anna merely wrenched his hand from her wrist and ran towards the embers, only to be pushed back by a sudden burst of heat.
"We-we have to put the fire out!" She turned to the group, her brain working overtime. "There's a lake, we can use the water to put it out!"
The group exchanged sympathetic looks, but no one budged.
"What are all of you waiting for?!" Anna was rifling through her bag, searching for something to carry the water with.
"Anna," Kristoff was the only one to answer. "Even if we did, the flowers-" He gestured to the desolation; even with a casual glance, it was clear that not a plant could have survived the raging inferno.
His next words were tentative, hesitant. "We're too late."
The finality of the words nearly made her retch.
"W-We have to- there has to be something…" She managed to stutter as she took in the wasteland, but even to her hopelessly optimistic eyes, there was not a silver lining in sight.
"We-we have to…" Her voice faltered as she turned back to the guards, who now stood before her solemnly, their heads lowered in shame.
The sight of their morose faces sent a lance through her heart, reminding her of a time she had tried so hard to move past.
As if they've failed yet another monarch.
She bit her tongue hard enough to draw blood.
"Search everywhere. We find that flower, or we don't go back home."
A warm hand came to rest on her shoulder, accompanied by a painfully sympathetic voice. "Anna…"
"No!" She shoved his arm off and spun around to fix Kristoff with the most heart-breakingly determined look he'd ever gotten from her.
"There has to be at least one flower left. And we're not leaving without it."
The fire had mysteriously disappeared, but even so, Elsa felt no peace. If anything, she almost preferred the fire, because at least then, she'd felt something other than a constant choking sensation caused by the clammy air and the way it stuck inside her lungs like a second skin. Compared to this, the fire was practically a blessing in disguise.
Because, now, in the absence of the oxygen-sucking inferno, Elsa was forced to inhale. But if she didn't know better, she would have thought the air was more toxic to her than the fire had ever been, because every breath felt unworthy of the trouble it took to do so, so much so that briefly (read: many times) Elsa considered saving herself the trouble and just stopping.
But it seemed almost like she couldn't.
Like someone - or something - was spurring her to keep fighting, but what - or who - it was and why they were bothered enough to want her alive but not bothered enough to rescue her from her personal little hell, that she couldn't answer.
Whoever or whatever they were, all she could hope was that sooner rather than later, they gave her a real explanation.
Because keeping her eyes open was getting harder with every passing second.
"But maybe another quick nap wouldn't hurt."
Even from the start, the search was futile.
Only ash could be found in this once great field, and yet, for Anna, the search went on.
They must have been there for hours amid the ruins before Kristoff and Geir exchanged knowing looks. There was little point in pursuing this path further, and sunset was almost upon them.
Kristoff had refrained from saying much for he could see just how fragile Anna's optimism was at this moment. And, truthfully, he had his hopes that her optimism would save the day like it always did. That indeed among the fire, a lone, miraculous flower had survived.
But after hours of maintaining said optimism, and with their looming deadline so close at hand, the mountain man was forced to confront reality.
As he looked to Anna with a sympathetic expression, he wondered to himself. Will she?
After gesturing to Geir to ready his men for the journey back, Kristoff warily made his way to Anna, who stooped near a patch of what had once been thriving mandrake flowers.
Glorious, unapologetically, royally purple flowers.
He stooped beside her and hesitantly laid a hand on her back. "Anna…"
"Did you find anything?"
It was the lack of any emotion in Anna's voice that broke his heart. Unable to speak past the lump in his throat, he reached for her lightly trembling hand and pulled it close.
"We should go back to Arendelle." He managed to utter after a minute of silence.
"Not until we find the flower." Her gaze still didn't meet his, which was just as well because Kristoff didn't think he could take it if she did look at him.
He took a deep breath. "It's almost sunset."
"Then we'll just have to hurry." A wry smile reached her lips, the sight eliciting a grimace from him. "We've faced worse odds before."
Kristoff wanted to shake her out of the denial she'd found herself in, but he had no heart to destroy the fantasy she'd crafted for herself, the one where she still had a chance to save her sister's life.
But time was no longer with them. Kristoff turned to look at the sun, now beginning its dreaded descent in the sky. They had maybe two hours left before sunset.
Two hours before Elsa…
He shut his eyes to block out the painful memory. The truth was, there was no magical miracle on the horizon this time. No act of true love, no happy ending.
This was happening.
Elsa was dying.
And he knew Anna would never forgive herself if she didn't get to say goodbye.
He closed his eyes and whispered a brief prayer for what he was about to do before yanking Anna around to face him. "We're going back."
Anna blinked rapidly in surprise, but the emotion quickly became fierce. "You don't tell me what to do. We've got a whole field to search and we're not leaving until we find that flower!"
"Even if it means not saying goodbye?"
The princess stiffened, her teal eyes wrestling with her many emotions as she processed his words.
God help me.
"It's almost sunset, Anna. If we leave now, we'll get back to Arendelle with only minutes to spare, perhaps less, before Elsa… before she…" He couldn't bring himself to finish the thought. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Don't you want to say goodbye?"
He waited for her to react with something… to say literally anything.
But there was silence, only silence.
She didn't move for minutes afterward. Didn't speak. Didn't do anything other than look at him with glistening teal eyes that seemed lost in the storm of utter inevitability, waves crashing, ship torn asunder, safe harbor ripped from under her feet.
Anna had always been an open book, especially to him, but seeing her like this… like a stranded sailor clinging to rapidly fading hopes amid the unforgiving depths of the ocean? After bearing witness to the moment realization dawned on her and watching her glowing teal eyes dim to a ashy gray?
It was then that Kristoff realized his mistake. He reached out to her hesitantly, tepidly. "Anna…"
But the gesture was too little too late. A lone tear slid down her pale, freckled cheek, plopping into the ashy remains below them.
Anna had given up.
There truly was no hope left.