WANDA'S POV
Going on trips to the store never really got easier. The fear tickling the back of my neck, the fear that this was the time that we were going to get caught. That around the next corner would be someone waiting to turn me in, or worse yet, follow us back to the caves. I know that these trips to the store are the safest way we have to keep ourselves safe and I love the opportunity to provide for my family. We farmed a lot so we didn't need to go out for supplies that often, but things like soap, and toothpaste made our ability to get those supplies from the markets important, if only for the sake of our noses.
I walked through the store, today I was looking for something for Ray. It was approaching her first birthday and I was wanting to find a way to make it special. I knew that Ray was still too young to remember this day, but I also knew that this was about more than just her. As much as Sunny, Burns and I were able to make life in the caves more comfortable, I knew the humans still struggle with the loss of what once was, and I had certainly lived more comfortable lives. I wanted to make Ray's birthday an opportunity to bring us all together over something fun. I know that I might be biased but the life of my beautiful girl seemed like the best opportunity to rally around something worth celebrating.
My eyes scanned over the various fabrics in the store. Soul's didn't really have the same ideas of childhood that humans do, so there was very little in the way of traditional baby toys. I wanted to make a special stuffed toy for my daughter. As my eyes roamed the fabrics my eyes landed on a swath of fabric. As soon as I saw it I put it into my cart and I knew immediately what I was going to be making for Ray. With my craft supplies in tow I made my way towards the register. A small man with a full head of dreadlocks helped me bag up my supplies and flashed me a broad smile and we engaged in talk of the weather. He was a soul after all, and so was I. He had no way of knowing who these soaps were for, no way of knowing the way the muscles in my back contracted with the fear of being caught. So I participated in our conversation as smoothly as I could manage and then turned toward the exit.
I felt my muscles relax as the doors to the store closed behind me and I made my way to the car. Burns loaded my purchases into the car and we waited for Sunny to finish her shopping. We tried to spread out our purchases out of an abundance of caution, that way if, heaven forbid something happened and one of us would be caught, then the others would be able to get away. As we waited I watched the other Souls who were shopping and as I saw everyone go by my head was filled with the same question over and over again "Would they care?". If these souls passing by would care, if they got to know humanity the way we did would they grow to love them the way we have? Would seeing the way Luce and Evie cared for each other, the way Ian cared for Ray and Melanie looked after Jamie, would that change their minds? Would they feel the same guilt that I did?
Before too long, I saw Sunny coming out of the store with her cart filled with food and I noted the same tension I always saw in her gait as she made her way toward us. She has never been able to get comfortable on these trips and with each step I could see the way she fought the urge to run through the parking lot and hide herself away in the backseat of the car. When she finally did make her way over and loaded everything into the car we set off for the caves.
The drive back was the familiar dance between the relaxed hum of the freeway and the tense surveillance of the other cars. Has that truck been behind us for too long? Has that white car followed us around one too many turns? Eventually we find ourselves alone on the familiar desert road and pull off, careful to go slow and minimize our tire tracks as we turn off the lights and travel our secret road back to the safety of our home.
We were greeted by the familiar welcome crew of Luce, Ian and Kyle who had been waiting to help us unload the supplies. Sunny ran straight to Kyle and in his protective grasp I saw her finally shed the cloud of unease that hung around her. The same Kyle who had once been my greatest threat and was now Sunny's greatest source of protection and seeing the way that Kyle had softened around Sunny's tender heart was a constant source of amazement. Ian's welcoming embrace snapped me out of my thoughts. While I didn't quite melt into him the way Sunny returned to Kyle, I leaned in and allowed myself to soak up the warm assurance of his embrace.
We went through the well worn ritual of stowing away all our supplies to the hum of small talk swelled as we let the calm of the night wash away the risk that we had just taken. Soon enough all the work was done and Ian and Luce had started on their way to where Evie was watching the children. Sunny grabbed my hand and asked me stay behind for a second and I followed her as she retrieved something she had tucked away in the Jeep.
"It's a camera," She offered as an explanation.
"You can record videos with it," Kyle added from behind her.
"Did you get it at the store?" While I knew how cameras work, I failed to fully understand why Sunny was holding it with such shy hope.
"Tell her your idea," Kyle nudged her gently, whatever the idea was, it had Kyle beaming with pride, encouraging her to continue.
"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could record a video here and if we could figure out how to get it out, well others might have a change of heart. Like we did." As Sunny finished Kyle gave her an encouraging squeeze and began before I could respond.
"You, Sunny, Burns, once you got to know humans, once you understood who we are, you changed. You started helping us, maybe others would too, if they just had a chance to see us."
I took in Sunny, her eyes shining hopefully above a timid smile.
"I think that's a good idea." My head began spinning with the logistics of how we could safely get the video out and all the risks involved, but hope was so rare and precious I couldn't, wouldn't, bring myself to spoil that.
"Great," Sunny lit up, "Maybe tomorrow we can sit down with some others and plan some of the video."
"I'll see you then!" I wrapped Sunny in a sweet quick hug before we split and returned to our respective rooms for the night. As I walked back to my family, the question returned, would they care?
When I got back to our room Ian was singing a soft tune as he slowly rocked Ray's cradle. Seeing them I had my answer. They would care. No one could see the way Ian cared for our daughter, no one could see the life growing with Ray, and not be moved. I knew in the deepest parts of me that this was something anyone, human or soul could understand. That this love that I had for Ian, the love he had for us, this was something special, there were other places you could find this. True tenderness. No matter where it's found it should be protected. There is something about this feeling that makes you want to defend it, something so raw and tender makes you want to build a castle around it to keep it from harm.
I took my place next to Ian as I pulled out the swath of fabric I got at the store.
"I am thinking about making her a birthday blanket," I said, examining my haul.
"That's a good idea. I am sure she will love it!" Ian took the soft fabric, blue with soft yellow suns peaking through puffy white clouds. It was a bit loud for soul fashion and it must have been a long forgotten human item, but I knew it would be perfect for my sunshine light.
"Sunny had a good idea" I whisper to Ian as I begin to change into my pajamas.
"Hmm" Ian hummed at me looking up from where Ray was drifting to sleep.
"She got a video camera from the store and thought that we could make a video of everyone here and show it to other souls. She thinks it could change their minds, and I think she might be right." I nested myself into Ian as we both looked at the sweet girl we created, "Does that make me naive?"
"Hopeful," he kissed my head welcoming me to his side, "not naive".
"I know there are a lot of details to sort out and it won't change anything overnight but I have to believe that this will help. I have to believe that if soul's knew about humans like we do they would stop, they would live together with humans, it has happened before. I've heard stories of planets where the souls and native life coexisted." I had turned my back on the Soul's. I took a side when I chose to live my life as and with the humans, but I still held onto hope for my kin. Some part of me still had to cling to faith in the compassion of my species.
"I think it could work, we would have to be smart about it," I relished in the way Ian rubbed small circles on my back as he spoke, "It might be biased, but I do think that our Ray of Evening Light could win over every soul on the planet."
"Well I am inclined to agree with you on that." Despite the hushed conversation occurring over her head Ray had surrendered completely to sleep. As her face slowly shifted with her dreams I allowed myself to dream. Dream of a world where she could grow into herself, free to roam outside his desert and free of fear.
Ian wrapped me in his arms and pulled me into him as he laid us down in the bed. As if reading my mind he began to whisper his own dreams into my hair and we drifted off into sleep. Dreams of exploring the beaches and pine forests. Dreams of Ray growing up and learning to drive and becoming a famous author or pilot. I let his hopes surround me, let the fantasies dance through my mind, and hoped. As I drifted off to sleep I let myself hope that maybe some of these dreams could come true.
The next morning Ian and I decided that he would talk to Kyle and we would try to organize a planning session for the video later that evening. The day passed much like every other day, Evie and I spent the day watching the children. Sharon came in the morning for a reading lesson, handed out a few of the new books to the children and praised Aubrey as she made her best attempts at writing her name. Jamie spent the afternoon with us, lately he had been spending more and more time with Anthony, and while Evie and I sometimes missed his help we were both happy to see the romance between the two was in full bloom and the glow of a new love was good for everyone.
After dinner I held Ray in my arms as we discussed Sunny's plan. Jeb and Jared were wary of showing too much of the cave and giving away our location, Evie gladly offered to be the director, Mel and Luce wanted to make sure we included personal testimonials, Sunny thought that showing some of our daily chores would paint a fuller picture. Burns and Kyle lead the way on the logistical aspect of distributing the videos.
As plans for the video started to take shape, Ray began to stir in my arms and I bounced her in my lap and placed little kisses on her nose to keep her from fussing, I watched the way my daughter took in the people around her with big round eyes, eyes the same color as her fathers, my heart warmed at the way her eyes lingered on Ian. She had yet to say her first word but she knew her father, felt the bond that tied us as a family. I felt it too while I looked over the circle of Soul's and humans at the family that we had created for ourselves and smiled. No matter what happened, I knew I would fight for my family. I would fight for Ian and Ray and everything that was ours.
A/N: It's september 2021 and this is, I think, the end. I have vague ideas for the epilogue that I think I will write before I mass publish these chapters. This could be an end point I think and it might be but I have kind of a fun idea for what I want to do so that might motivate me to actually do it! (This is an even later note: it is a very short epilogue so manage your expectations.)