Hi everyone I'm back again.
As you can probably tell we're going to meet Ronon in this chapter and spend a bit of time with Lorne, I really like his character and I wanted him to be a bigger part of the show so he will be in this story.
There's also a lot of fluff in this chapter, all the lovely lovey dovey stuff along with some lovely smut, because I can. I hope you enjoy
I'm not sure how happy I am with my proof reading of this one, but I need to stop and just post before I edit it to death.
Major Lorne and Specialist Ronon Dex
They didn't broadcast their relationship, in fact during work hours nobody would know anything had changed; except Sam and Jack who picked it up immediately. Rodney would never have kept it from Sam anyway, she was practically the other half of him and John knew Jack was nowhere near as oblivious as he pretended to be, not when it came to his staff or his friends.
They decided the group should know, after all they were sure to work it out eventually and the last thing John or Rodney wanted was one of the not-so-subtle ones blurting it out in front of the entire mess hall or science lab when they worked it out. When dinner came around the following evening they invited the group back to their room to chill on the balcony for a while and told them.
The reactions were downright comical, JJJ all but squealed in excitement and leapt on them both, cuddling the life out of them, Carson, Daniel and Sha're were overjoyed for them and gave them a much more sedate hug. Teal'c did his usual thing, Teyla did hers and they were pleased that she didn't seem to be at all phased by the idea of two men being in a relationship. Vala was surprisingly quiet, but neither of them were going to question why.
They decided they weren't going to overtly tell Elizabeth, she'd surely work it out eventually, but she was the boss so she really didn't need to know. They also weren't going to go out of their way to tell SG3, as much as John liked Lorne, Ford and Cadman, they were still his subordinates and they didn't need to know about his personal life. Rodney wasn't going to make it obvious to his scientist either, he was their boss and needed to maintain some professional distance from them.
They were grateful that the group dispersed relatively quickly and went back to their own rooms. As nice as it was to see the group neither of them had slept well the night before and they were both tired. They moved John's things into the other shower and his clothes into the other cupboard, which had a ton of space and neither of them had a lot of things so they still had plenty of room. After that they took a shower together, taking turns getting each other off, then headed tiredly to bed.
"How are you doing tonight?" John asked as he pulled Rodney into his arms. "I know you didn't sleep well last night."
"I'm fine," Rodney replied, snuggling into John's incredible chest. "I was tired today and it was a little harder than usual to stay patient with the other scientists, but I'm okay. I never wanted to talk about Chase to anyone, but … really, it's important that you know so … I'm glad it's done and we don't have to talk about it anymore."
"Unless you feel like you need to at any point," John replied softly. "I hate that man and I hate what he did to you, but if you ever need to talk about him, I'm here to listen," he offered.
"I appreciate that," Rodney replied with a soft smile, leaning up to kiss John's jaw in the way that always made the Colonel shiver delightfully. "And I'm here to listen to anything you ever want to talk about too," he offered, his smile widening when he felt John kiss his hair.
"Thank you, vita," John replied, running a soothing hand through Rodney's hair and down his back.
Rodney sighed contentedly, melting against John's body. "I love it when you touch me and hold me, you always make me feel so good. That night out on the balcony, when I fell asleep in your arms, I never wanted you to let me go," he admitted.
"I never wanted to let you go," John replied. "I lay us both down on the mattresses out there and just held you for so long. I promised myself that I would wake you up in a few minutes and help you get to bed, but it felt so good to hold you like that and I eventually fell asleep with you. When I woke up the next morning I was so worried that you might have woken up before me and freaked out. I was so relieved when you were still asleep and I felt so good waking up like that, even though I knew it didn't mean anything to you-"
"Oh, no, it did," Rodney interrupted him. "I've never slept so well in my life. Normally I wake up multiple times a night because my brain just won't shut up, but that night I slept like a log, and aside from being worried that you'd freak out about me falling asleep on you, I felt amazing. Before that I liked having you close, because whenever I'd wake up at night, I'd look at your far too handsome face and it made me feel so calm, I'd drift right back off to sleep again. Having you hold me was … so much better. I wanted to believe, just for a minute, that you were mine; so I let myself believe and it was so amazing, nothing had ever felt so good."
"I was yours, even then. I've been yours since we met, I was just too scared to tell you," John whispered and Rodney smiled softly, feeling warmth and elation flood his body.
"I was yours too," he whispered back. "I've never believed in things like soulmates and fate, but I think I've always been yours; I just hadn't met you yet." He was so tired he was barely aware of what he was saying, but he knew it was true. "I love you, John, I love you so much; you're everything to me."
"I love you too, Rodney, more than anything." John whispered, and Rodney smiled happily as sleep dragged him under.
XX
Rodney had never really spent a lot of time with Major Lorne, aside from the sparring room and occasionally the gym he really only saw him in passing. The man seemed pleasant enough and he was a plenty capable fighter, but as they walked through the tree cover of an incredibly hot planet looking for Alice, he was gaining a new appreciation of the man's abilities. He'd been surprised when Lorne had asked to team up with him rather than Sheppard or Teyla and he could tell John was too. The Colonel had hesitated for a moment before finally agreeing and they'd set off in different directions. So far they hadn't even really spoken to each other all that much, so Rodney still had no idea why.
"I think she went this way," Lorne said, studying tracks on the ground.
"Okay," Rodney agreed easily, looking down at where he was kneeling but not really seeing anything that made sense. He studied the life sign detector but it unfortunately wasn't giving him anything yet, so he waited for Lorne to get up and they kept walking in the direction he'd indicated.
They walked in silence for another few minutes before Lorne spoke, "So, how are you doing?" he asked.
"Slightly melting but otherwise good thanks, how are you?" Rodney replied jovially and Lorne chuckled.
"Yeah, about the same," he agreed.
They lapsed back into silence so Rodney spoke again, "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure," Lorne agreed easily.
"Why did you ask to team up with me?" he asked. "I'm figuring there's a reason since we've never really had much to do with each other before."
"Well that in itself is the thing, we're team mates at the moment and for who knows how long, but I barely know anything about you, aside from the facts that you regularly save the city and are killer at hand to hand combat I've got nothing, and I figured I should remedy that," Lorne replied.
"Because you want to, or because you feel like you should?" Rodney asked curiously. "Don't worry, whatever the answer is I'm not going to be offended," he added.
"A bit of both I guess," Lorne replied. "I feel obligated to from the whole team point of view, but I also just want to because you seem like a nice person."
"Oh … well thanks, I was just thinking the same about you," Rodney replied. "I'm afraid I'm not much of a people person though, so small talk isn't something I'm great at."
"Well then let's not talk small. What is your ultimate goal in life?" Lorne asked.
Rodney thought about it, that was a good question. "Well, to be happy of course, but I think everyone has that. I'd like to see the wraith threat gone from Pegasus, I'd like to design and build my own ship that could create its own wormholes without the use of a stargate and use it to explore every tiny piece of the galaxy the gate can't reach. And I want to marry the love of my life and be together for eternity. I'd never had much interest in ascension before now, but I think I'd like to learn how to do it so we'd never have to be apart again … and of course I'd like to unlock all the secrets of the universe that ascended beings seem to have access to, that would be great. What about you?" Rodney asked.
Lorne grinned, "That's a good list, McKay, let's see. I want to fly every fast vehicle ever invented, I'd like to see the wraith gone from Pegasus as well, I want to at least make it to full Colonel before I retire … not necessarily keen on General status. I want to stay on Atlantis as long as I can, the rest of my life it it's possible … and I'd like to get married one day too, although I don't know who to just yet, maybe have a kid or two; I think I'd like to be a dad someday. What about you, ever want to have kids?"
Rodney thought about it, "Don't get me wrong, it would be nice, but I don't see it in my future," he replied. "You said you didn't know who you wanted to marry yet, does that mean you don't have your eye on anyone?" he asked.
"Oh, don't get me wrong I've got eyes and there are some … particularly lovely ladies around the city to look at, I just haven't really had much of a chance to get to know any of them yet," Lorne replied.
"Okay, so who are your eyes particularly drawn to then?" Rodney asked.
"Well there's a particularly lovely scientist who seems to be new to the city, and I have to admit she's captured my attention quite a bit," Lorne replied.
"You know if you wanted to team up with me just to ask about one of my scientists you could have just said so, I wouldn't have held it against you," Rodney joked and Lorne chuckled.
"No, I told you the real reasons why, I wasn't going to bring her up at all except you asked," he replied.
"Okay then … hmmm new scientist," Rodney thought about it. "Ah, you wouldn't happen to be talking about Dr Megan Green would you?" he asked and Lorne looked both surprised and slightly embarrassed at the same time. "Oh, I'm right, aren't I? Well good for you Lorne she's a lovely person and so far one of my favourites, which is saying something."
"She's definitely lovely, beautiful but nice as well and of course smart, I'm not much of a fan of air heads," Lorne said and Rodney nodded understandingly.
"No I get you there. So are you going to make a move with Megan? I've never asked personally, but I know Jennifer and Jeanie have and apparently she's single," Rodney said with a grin.
"Really?" Lorne asked sounding excited. "Well, if that's the case I just might. I don't suppose you know what kind of things she likes to do? Or what kind of men she's into\
do you?" he asked hopefully.
"Not off hand, but I can definitely find out for you," Rodney said with a grin. "I guarantee my sister and Jennifer know by now."
"Really? Thanks, McKay, I'd appreciate that," Lorne replied with a bright smile.
"No problem," Rodney replied, glad to be able to do something to help Lorne, particularly since he knew John valued the man highly.
"So what about you, McKay?" Lorne asked.
"What about me?" Rodney asked.
"Well, I've told you who I've got my eye on, what about you? It seems like you have more than just a little crush going on with whoever it is and I'm very curious to know just who that might be, particularly since I know it's not Dr Carter and she's the person you spend most of your time with, well, that anyone else sees anyway," Lorne asked and Rodney was struggling to decide how to answer that when the life sign detector beeped and he looked down to see someone registering up ahead of them.
He grabbed Lorne's arm and they ducked down behind a tree where they could have some cover but still see ahead of them. He showed Lorne the life sign detector and the man hoisted his P90 up looking around the tree to see who was coming.
The life sign wasn't approaching, it was staying where it was and Rodney looked over at Lorne, whispering, "Should I say something? I'm not sure whether that would be a good idea or a bad one with the way she is right now."
Lorne was looking thoughtful when suddenly the life sign took off in the other direction and they ran out to follow it, not wanting to lose Alice if it was her.
"Maybe say something now," Lorne suggested as they ran.
"Alice, it's Rodney, we don't want to hurt you, we just want to help," he called out but the life sign only moved away faster.
Lorne called to Sheppard on the Radio to let him know they may have found her and were in pursuit and they kept running, only stopping when the life sign detector wasn't registering her anymore. They ran forward a little further, then Lorne leant down to study the tracks again. Rodney was watching the life sign detector, so he saw the life sign suddenly approaching from behind them. He called out to Lorne to warn him and turned back towards that direction, pulling out his gun just in case it wasn't Alice.
It was Alice, but she stunned Lorne and had her p90 pointed at Rodney before they could do anything else.
Ah crap.
XX
John hated this. First he hadn't been able to get Lorne and Rodney on the radio again after they'd told him they were in pursuit of Alice, then one of the other teams reported they had found Lorne unconscious and Rodney was missing, then he'd been caught by Ronan and held hostage while Teyla had gone back to the jumper to dial the gate and get Beckett there and the whole time he hadn't been able to do anything except try to reason with the big guy, all of which yielded no results, then at last he'd had to wait for Beckett to finish the surgery and get out of there alive before he could even go and look for Rodney.
He'd barely found Rodney and Alice before the wraith showed up and started trying to scoop them up, then Alice had run into the beam and disappeared -and as much as John would never admit it to anyone he'd been so relieved that it was her and not anyone else even if it meant she might reveal that Atlantis was still there, although he was pretty certain she wouldn't-. Now they were finally back on Atlantis and had to sit through a debriefing with Elizabeth and O'Neill before they could go anywhere and all John wanted to do was get Rodney back to their room and love him in every way he could. He'd been so worried about him today, he'd tried not to betray his feelings or let the fear eat at him and make him do anything crazy, but it was really damn hard.
They were disappointed to have lost Alice again, but Rodney and John explained that they'd done everything they could. Hell, John even shot Alice and she still ran herself into the beam, what else was he supposed to do?
There was discussion about what to do with Ronan, particularly after they dialled Sateda and found out that the entire place was destroyed. John wanted to try and talk to the man about staying on at Atlantis and becoming a part of his team; the man had proven himself more than capable. Jack, having had his own experience with Teal'c, was far more open to the idea than Elizabeth, although she promised to think about it. With that discussion over they were finally dismissed and they all headed back to the command tower, eager for a shower after the day they'd had.
"Hey, I'm glad you're okay," Lorne said to Rodney when they reached the elevator up to the command tower. "Sorry I wasn't quick enough."
"Oh, don't be sorry; she knows the range of the life signs detector, she obviously used that against us today. Besides, what could you have done? John shot her and it barely slowed her down, you wouldn't have had any more luck. Don't worry about it; I'm fine and I'm glad you're okay too," he replied with a friendly smile.
They reached the second level and they all bid Lorne a good evening as he stepped out, then they continued on up to their level.
They said good evening to Teyla as they got out and she moved straight over to greet Teal'c who was waiting for her.
They headed into their room then and John thought the door shut and locked before turning to pull Rodney into his arms, kissing him breathless. It felt so good to hold him and kiss him after worrying about him all day, and John had to fight not to hold him too tightly in case he hurt him.
"Are you all right? Did she hurt you? God I was so worried about you all day," John asked breathlessly when they finally parted for air.
"I'm fine, I was far more worried about you when I heard you'd been Ronan's hostage all day," Rodney replied. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," John replied, leaning down to kiss Rodney's neck, tasting the sweat on his skin. "And if I wasn't I wouldn't care. You're okay, that's all that matters to me."
He pulled Rodney's jacket and shirt off him, running his hands over the man's far too beautiful skin -which felt amazing even though it was coated in dried sweat- and closing his mouth over Rodney's favourite spot, loving the sounds he was rewarded with. Rodney was such a responsive lover; he was so vocal it drove John wild with desire. He kissed his way up to Rodney's ear and licked over the outer shell, whispering, "I want you, but if you're too tired-"
"No, I'm not too tired. I want you, now," Rodney replied, his voice heavy with lust, and John's cock hardened until it felt like a hammer in his pants.
"Fuck, Rodney," he groaned, pulling away from him long enough to grab the lube off the bedhead then coming back and pulling Rodney out onto the balcony. They stripped the rest of each other's clothes off and dropped down onto the air mattress, running their hands all over each other's naked skin, moaning and grinding against each other, their erections rubbing so deliciously together.
Rodney wrapped arms and legs around John as John's lips explored his neck, pulling himself tightly up against John's body. John groaned at the beautiful sensation, giving himself a moment to get lost in it before he reached for the lube, knowing what Rodney wanted and more than willing to give it to him.
It still surprised John that Rodney hadn't asked to take him yet. He'd thought for sure the man would want to and he figured Rodney would want a break from being the bottom, after all they weren't always gentle about their lovemaking and they were at it almost every moment they were alone. But aside from their second night together, where Rodney had seemed to be wanting to top but then changed his mind and asked John to take him instead, he hadn't brought it up again. John was always worried about Rodney being sore, but he always paid close attention to his lover's face when he was preparing him or taking him and he never saw any signs of pain. Rodney's ass was always so deliciously tight as well, almost like he was a virgin, and John revelled in it; he just wanted to know how it was possible.
For now though he delighted in sliding his fingers gently inside his very responsive lover and dancing them over the man's prostate, preparing him expertly while he panted and whimpered and writhed so deliciously beneath him. Rodney was so beautiful, his body was absolutely divine, John wished he could see himself the way John saw him.
When John pushed inside him the sensation was just as delicious as it was every time they were together.
Honestly, it wouldn't have mattered to John if Rodney's body wasn't as beautiful as it was, if the sex was mediocre or Rodney was a quiet, reserved lover who barely responded to him at all, because it was Rodney and he loved him so desperately. But it wasn't, it was mind-blowingly fantastic and Rodney was absolutely breathtaking.
John always waited for Rodney to adjust to him being all the way inside, not just for Rodney's sake but for his own as well. Being with Rodney this way was so incredible after wanting him for so long, it was so hard not to cum too quickly. John took that time to steel himself and calm his over excited body down enough that he could hold the orgasm back until Rodney had cum first.
Tonight was no different, he lay above Rodney with his cock buried up to its hilt inside him, breathing in the beautiful, sweet, but undeniably masculine scent of the man he loved and taking a moment to calm himself before he started moving. He pulled back to look at Rodney, the scientist's beautiful blue eyes slipping open and looking up at John with endless love and complete surrender and trust.
"God you're so beautiful, do you have any idea how much I love you?" he asked Rodney who brought a hand up to cup John's face and smiled at him so lovingly it made John's eyes tear.
"Of course I do, I love you just as much," he replied softly and John savoured the warm, beautiful feeling that blossomed in his chest whenever Rodney said things to him like that.
He leant down to kiss Rodney deeply as he pulled out and thrust back into him, swallowing his moan of pleasure. He loved how vocal Rodney was, but he was also aware that they were outside on the balcony, and even though no one could see them from where they were there was always a possibility that the sound could travel to one of the other rooms in the tower. So he kept his lips on Rodney's as he drove into him, fucking him into a happy oblivion as he moaned and cried out against John's lips.
When he could feel Rodney getting close he reached down and wrapped his hand around Rodney's cock, pulling it in time with his thrusts. Rodney's cries of pleasure built in intensity until John could feel his body starting to tremble beneath him. He deepened his thrusts, winding Rodney's pleasure as high as he could before it reached its peak and he came, his body squeezing so tightly around John's cock that he followed him almost immediately, both of them crying out their pleasure into each other's mouths.
As they came down from their high John kissed Rodney's neck, gently nuzzling into the so very soft skin that he loved so much.
He wished he could show Rodney how he felt in these moments, the calm and peace and endless, overwhelming love that filled John when they were close like this. He tried to show Rodney his feelings with his words and his actions and his eyes, never closing his expression off or hiding them from him, but he knew it could only communicate so much. It had been such a gift the cave monster had given John, showing him Rodney's feelings, he wished he could return the favour somehow.
"John, I love you so much," Rodney sighed and John pulled back to look down into his incredible eyes which were looking up at John with that open, loving expression that always made John feel like Rodney could see right into his soul; John loved that look.
"I love you, more than anything in the universe," John replied, knowing it would never do his feeling justice but it was all he had. When Rodney smiled at him in that beautiful way that John loved so much, he knew it was enough for now.
They stayed out on the deck tangled up in each other until they started to feel sticky, then they headed into the bathroom to shower. They were both starving now so they made quick work of it, then redressed and headed down to the mess hall to find some dinner. The others weren't around yet, so they grabbed food and headed over to their usual table to sit down.
They sat together at the table, talking quietly about the mission that day and what the other had missed while they'd been separated. They were only a short way into their meal when one of the marines came over to talk to John about something on the staff roster and he turned to talk to the other man for a while. It wasn't a big issue, just swapping a shift with one of the other staff, so John agreed easily and told the man to email the swap to him so he could enter it into the roster and he wouldn't forget. As he turned back to talk to Rodney he realised the man wasn't there and he looked round surprised, to see Rodney standing over with Ronan and his two guards at the end of the buffet area. He motioned towards the table and Ronan looked over at John, who gave him an easy smile, then nodded, following Rodney over to the table.
"Hey, Ronan," John greeted the big Satedan as he sat down across from John at the end of the table. "Find something good?"
"Salisbury steak," Ronan replied, looking down at the food curiously. "The guards said it's the best."
"It is," Rodney confirmed, settling back in to eat his meal.
John was trying to think of something to say to Ronan who looked a little lost, but Rodney patted his leg under the table and when John looked over Rodney gave him an almost imperceptible head shake and John knew what that meant, 'Ronan doesn't want to talk.' He gave Rodney an almost imperceptible nod back and returned to his food, talking to Rodney instead. They kept it light and easy, bantering back and forth about music and movies, which of course Ronan had no understanding of, but he was clearly paying attention to their interaction.
Teyla, Teal'c, Sha're and Daniel came along together first, greeting John and Rodney warmly before Rodney introduced the rest of them to Ronan. Ronan seemed surprised to learn there were three other non earth people among their group. Of course he'd already known about Teyla but not the others, and John was sure he saw the man almost relax just a little. They made polite enquiries about him, nothing too prying which John could tell he appreciated. Jack, Sam and Carson came along next and John was relieved to hear that JJJ and Vala had other plans that evening and wouldn't be joining them.
John was proud to see Carson didn't even bat an eyelid when he saw Ronan at the table. He greeted the man kindly before enquiring about his wound and asking him to come by the infirmary the next day so Carson could check it over, which the Satedan agreed to easily. He met Jack and Sam last, who greeted him kindly, and then the conversations went on around him. They didn't drag him in, but they didn't leave him out either, showing the man with their body language that he was welcome to join in at any moment, or ask any questions he wanted to; but that it wasn't expected if he didn't want to.
By the time dinner was over John was happy to see that Ronon looked a little more relaxed in their company.
As everyone was getting up to leave John asked to walk with him back to his quarters so they could have a chance to talk, assuring him that it wouldn't be anything too involved, which Ronan looked so relieved about John almost laughed.
Rodney headed up to the tower with the others and John gave Ronan a friendly smile as they began to walk in the direction of his room.
"I was sorry to hear about your home world," John said sympathetically.
"Thanks," Ronan replied simply.
"Did you have any thoughts about where you're going to go now?" John asked.
"Not really."
"Would you consider staying on here?" John asked and Ronan stopped walking to look at him incredulously.
"Really?" he asked, sounding like he thought John was crazy for asking.
"Yeah," John confirmed. "You're strong, capable, good with weapons, an expert at killing wraith, you keep your word; those are all very important attributes. I have an opening on my team and I'd like you to consider joining it."
"And if I don't want to?" Ronan asked.
"Then you don't want to," John replied easily. "It's an invitation, buddy, not a demand. If you decide you'd rather leave that's up to you; but I think you'd like it here if you gave it a chance. Just think about it."
"All right," Ronan replied simply and John grinned; he liked this guy.
When they reached Ronan's room he turned to John and asked, "Is it true what they said about Teal'c, that he used to be an enemy and he changed sides to help you fight them?"
"Yep," John replied.
Ronan nodded looking thoughtful. "And your team, it's you, Teyla and Rodney?" he asked.
"Yep," John confirmed and Ronan nodded again.
"All right, I'll think about it."
"Okay. Good night," John replied amiably and Ronan disappeared into his room.
John smiled to himself as he made his way back up to the command tower, thinking about the delectable man waiting there for him. He'd wondered how Rodney would react to Ronan, particularly after he'd held John and Teyla hostage. He was proud to see that the man didn't hold any ill will towards the Satedan, after all he hadn't taken John and Teyla out of malice, he was only trying to survive.
When he got back to his room Rodney was standing out on the balcony, leaning over the railing, looking out at the twin moons.
John smiled as he walked out to join him.
He could never describe to anyone how beautiful Rodney was to him, how desperately he loved him and needed him, it wasn't something words could ever do justice to.
As he slipped in behind him and wrapped his arms around the man's waist, cocooning Rodney in his body and breathing in the intoxicating scent of him, he felt so complete. He'd never known that feeling until now and he'd never thought he would until he met Rodney.
"Can I tell you something?" he whispered.
"Of course," Rodney replied, relaxing back into his body and turning his face to nuzzle into John's neck, making John shiver in delight.
"When you were in the cave with the monster, it showed me how you felt about me," John whispered.
"Really?" Rodney asked, sounding surprised and delighted all at once.
"Yeah," John confirmed. "It's the only reason I knew that what I feel about you is love, because your feelings felt just like mine. I wish I could do that for you, show you how you make me feel, it's so strong, and I never feel like saying the words is enough to make you understand."
Rodney's hand reached up to cup John's face and he tilted John lips down to meet his in a deep, loving kiss, sliding his hand back into John's hair and gripping it gently.
When Rodney pulled back he kept his lips close to John's as he whispered, "You don't have to show me, you just told me that what you feel about me is exactly the same as what I feel about you, that means I already know how you're feeling. My love for you is so complete, it fills every part of me every moment; it overwhelms me sometimes, but in such a beautiful way. Does it feel like that to you?" he asked.
"Yes," John replied, his body trembling against Rodney's as he realised that Rodney really did understand. He took a shaky breath, pulling Rodney back in to kiss him again.
I love you, Rodney, I love you so much, you're my heart, my soul, I'm so empty without you.
He didn't say it, he poured it all into the kiss and he was sure he could feel Rodney returning those feelings with just as much intensity.
John had no idea how he'd gotten so lucky, what he'd done to bring this perfect, incredible person into his life, but he was so indescribably grateful.
XX
Ronan wandered through the halls of Atlantis, overwhelmed and completely lost. He'd agreed to join Sheppard's team, been accepted by O'Neill and Elizabeth and gone through Sheppard's basic training, which had been far too easy as far as Ronan was concerned. So now he was part of the expedition which meant he didn't have guards following him around anymore. The problem with that was he had no one pointing him in the right direction anymore so getting lost in the massive city was far too easy.
He'd just wanted to find some quiet; that was the only problem with a city this large, there were a lot of people and they were always making noise. This wasn't a bad thing of course, Ronan was grateful for the noise, where there was noise there were people and for the first time in far too long it was safe for him to be around people; that was amazing to Ronon.
He'd been alone for so long, and to be honest that was one of the main reasons he'd agreed to stay, being alone had gotten really lonely. So, he generally didn't mind the noise, it was just that occasionally it got to be a bit too much for him. Having been alone and surrounded by silence most of the time for such a long time the sound overwhelmed him sometimes and he had to get away from it all for a while.
It was hard though, when he found the silence he enjoyed it for a little while, then it started to feel oppressive and he felt the urge to be back around people again; he just couldn't find a happy medium.
That was how he'd ended up in his current predicament; he'd found the quiet, been happy for a while, then it started to close in on him oppressively and he'd needed to get away. In his haste he'd taken a wrong turn and now he had no idea where he was. He didn't want to call up to the central tower and tell them he was lost, he felt stupid enough for getting lost in the first place, but if he didn't find his way soon he was going to have to.
Sighing he walked to the end of the corridor and turned the corner, finding himself in an open area with heavy metal doors on both walls and windows at the back. He moved towards the windows hoping to get some idea of where he was, only to pause when he heard something coming from the open door on the end of the right hand wall. Ronon stalked closer, listening for the sound again, and as he neared the door he realised it was what he'd first thought, voices talking, and one that he recognised well; Rodney.
He reached the doorway and peered in, seeing Rodney and Sam sitting at a desk, with their computers open in front of them, talking quietly while they typed away.
The room wasn't completely silent, there were a lot of little noises around; a quiet whirring noise coming from the computers that sounded a little like the fan in his bathroom, only quieter, there was the sound of typing, which was surprisingly soothing, the sound of the ocean lapping against the pier coming through the window from outside, and then the talking, not loud or invasive talking, not yelling or arguing, just quiet civil discussion; it was perfect. It wasn't overwhelmingly loud like the inhabited areas of Atlantis, but it wasn't completely silent like the empty corridors; Ronan liked this room.
How could he explain that to Rodney and Sam without sounding strange or … weak? He didn't know how he was going to do that but he needed to work it out, because he wanted to stay for a while and he wanted to be able to come back.
"Hey, Ronon," Rodney's voice greeted him suddenly and he glanced over at the other man who was looking at him with friendly curiosity. "Did you need something?"
Sam looked at him with the same curiosity and Ronon struggled to think of what he should say to them.
"Um …" yeah, that was great. "No, I …" He what? What was he going to say to them?
He was surprised when they both gave him an understanding smile and Rodney said, "Do you want to sit for a while." He motioned to the couches that were sitting under the window; they looked very inviting.
"If you don't mind?" Ronon asked.
"No, not at all. John and Jack do it quite often, we don't mind the company," Sam explained kindly.
Ronon moved over to the couch, dropping down onto the cushions and enjoying how comfortable it was. This had to be about the perfect spot. He reclined back against the arm of the couch, closing his eyes and enjoying the volume of the room. If Sam was being honest and Jack and John did this a lot, they'd hopefully be okay with Ronan doing it too. He wouldn't mind sharing the space with Sheppard, he genuinely liked the man, and he'd be happy to spend a bit more time with Rodney as well.
Truth be told he liked Rodney, a lot actually, he found the man fascinating and he was nice to look at and listen to. He had the most striking blue eyes and lovely fair skin with just enough muscle for his slender build and a voice that was soft and full of intelligence. John was nice too, it was the reason Ronan had kept John and let Teyla go back to get the Dr; it had been a while since he'd had an attractive person to look at and John was particularly nice, his green eyes against his tanned skin, his dark hair that seemed to have a mind of its own, and his strong, slim, yet muscular body; he was divine.
Sateda didn't have rules for who could be intimate with who, Ronan had heard that Earth was a bit stricter about that, but they were relaxing the rules now and that meant people in relationships with other members of the same sex could be open about them without getting into trouble. Ronan couldn't understand why there had even been a rule in the first place, it sounded like a huge waste of someone's time coming up with a ridiculous rule like that, but it wasn't his culture. Earth didn't have the threat of the wraith hanging over their head so they had a lot more time to think up nonsense like that.
Teyla was nice to look at too but she wasn't really Ronon's type; John and Rodney on the other hand, they were just lovely, so getting to spend more time with them would be particularly nice.
He got the feeling there was something going on between them; a lot of the city seemed to be oblivious to it but they were Ronon's teammates so he paid close attention to them. When they spoke to each other their tone was completely different than it was with other people, and if you watched closely when there was no one else around, they looked at each other with so much love and desire; if they weren't in a relationship, they should be. He should probably ask, so he knew for sure, but either way Ronon was going to enjoy being around them.
The other person Ronon enjoyed being around was Carson; the doctor was just lovely. After everything that had happened on the planet Ronon had been concerned that Carson would be afraid of him, but when he'd seen Ronon that evening all he'd shown was concern for his recovery, and when Ronon had gone to the infirmary the following day for Carson so check him over the other man had smiled at him brightly and they'd managed a rather nice conversation, considering that Ronon wasn't much of a talker.
Since then Ronon had gone out of his way to spend as much time as possible with the doctor. As attractive as John and Rodney were to him Carson drew him in even more. There was something about the kind, caring man that pulled at Ronon in ways he'd never felt before, even for the woman on Sateda that he'd loved. He didn't know what it was but he was curious to find out, and thankfully Carson didn't seem to mind Ronon occasionally seeking him out at meal times or afterwards to take a quiet walk. When he'd gotten to know him better he'd find out how humans went about pursuing relationships with each other, it wouldn't do to approach Carson the way he would a Satedan if their customs were completely different, and he had a feeling they would be.
He heard Sam talk about heading to the other lab to check on the scientists, and when she'd left the room Ronan opened his eyes and looked over at Rodney, who was studying something intently on his laptop screen.
"Hey, Rodney, can I ask you something?" he asked.
"Sure," Rodney replied, looking over at Ronan curiously.
"Are you and Sheppard bonded?" he asked.
"Bonded?" Rodney looked at him with an adorable expression of puzzlement and Ronon couldn't help the grin that spread across his face.
"What do you call it on your world? You pledge to spend your lives together, in a romantic way," Ronon explained.
"Oh, we call it married," Rodney replied. "And no, not yet, but hopefully sometime in the near future."
Ronon grinned, "I thought so; I've seen the way you look at each other," he replied.
"Oh, are we obvious about it? No one else in the city seems to have noticed," Rodney said thoughtfully, sounding a little worried.
"No, I've been watching you both closely since I got here; I always like to study my team mates and learn as much as I can as quickly as I can, so I've noticed," Ronon explained. "It's not obvious to everyone. Why would it be a problem if the others noticed?"
"Oh, it wouldn't be a problem so much, I just … he's in a position of authority here on Atlantis and … the rule that says we can't have the relationship we have without him losing his job has only just been changed. As much as I know most of the people here seemed pretty happy to see the back of that particular rule, there are always people who don't think it's okay for us to love each other and … I don't want being with me to make his life or his job hard," Rodney explained.
"What does he think about it?" Ronon asked.
"We haven't really spoken about it honestly," Rodney replied. "We've been friends since we got here, but our actual relationship is only quite new. We decided that we wouldn't keep it a secret per se, but we weren't going to be overly obvious about it, because we're both in positions of authority and we have to maintain professional boundaries between us and the people we're in charge of. But we've never spoken particularly about DADT or how his staff might respond to finding out about us. I doubt he'd be worried, but I am; I love him more than anything in the universe, I never want to see him struggling with something he doesn't need to."
Ronon nodded, "It's nice of you to be worried about him, but doesn't it bother you that the rest of the city don't know?" he asked curiously.
"No," Rodney replied, shaking his head. "I know, he knows, that's all that matters," he looked down at his hands. "And besides, I'm not exactly …" he trailed off. "Never mind."
"You're not exactly what?" Ronon prompted.
"A catch," Rodney said and Ronon looked at him curiously. "It's an expression on earth for someone who's really attractive or desirable," he explained. "That certainly doesn't describe me and I know it. By some miracle he loves me and wants me, but … I have a hard time believing it, and I doubt I'd be the only person who does. The less people who know about us, the less people there are to point out that fact to him; I'd like it to take him as long as possible to realise," Rodney said, looking over at Ronon sadly.
Ronon looked at him incredulously, "Did you really just say you're not attractive?" he asked.
"Well, I'm not," Rodney replied with a raised eyebrow.
"Says who?" Ronon asked.
"A lot of people," Rodney replied.
"Then they're lying to you," Ronon replied. "There is nothing wrong with you, Rodney, if I hadn't seen you looking at Sheppard like I have, I'd be chasing you, or him, maybe both of you," Ronon said, grinning as Rodney looked over at him in obvious shock. "Sateda was a very different place to here, we didn't have any of those stupid rules or labels that you humans like to put on people. There was no men have to be with women nonsense, if you were attractive and someone liked you, they liked you and they chased you," he said with a shrug. "You're attractive and I would have chased you, except I know you're far too much in love with Sheppard and he's completely in love with you back, and it would be dishonourable to even think about getting in the way of that; even knowing there's no chance I'd win. You think too little of yourself, Rodney, you're beautiful and you should know it," he said, smiling warmly as the other man blushed.
"Well … thank you, Ronon, that's really nice of you," he said with a soft smile, looking down at his hands and blushing adorably. He suddenly looked at Ronon worriedly, "If you feel that way about us, is it going to make it hard for you to be on the team?" he asked.
"No," Ronon replied, "I'm attracted to you, that's as far as it goes. I like you both, I like being around you and I'm honoured to fight the wraith beside you; the fact that you're also nice to look at just makes it better."
Rodney laughed which had been Ronon's point, he looked even more beautiful when he laughed.
"Glad to hear it," the scientist eventually replied. "You're pretty easy on the eyes yourself."
Ronon chuckled, "Got nothing on Sheppard though."
"Ronon, as far as I'm concerned, no one has anything on John; he may as well have been made for me," Rodney replied with a bright smile.
"And one look at him when he sees you, would tell anyone with eyes that he feels the same way. Haven't you seen the way he looks at you?" Ronon asked.
"Oh, I have … I love it," Rodney admitted.
"But you still think someone else's opinion of you would change that?" Ronon asked and Rodney looked over at him thoughtfully.
"I guess when you put it that way it does sound silly," he replied.
"A little," Ronon agreed and Rodney chuckled.
"I just … can't believe he's mine, god he's so amazing," he said, closing his eyes for a moment and smiling so brightly it lit up his entire face. When he opened them again and looked at Ronon, it was with a gentle caring expression. "While you're helping me with my personal issues, I want to do the same for you; why did you want to be in the lab today?" he asked.
Ronon looked away; he'd just been prying into Rodney's personal life, it was only fair that he answer the scientist's question. "Sateda was a big, busy place, there was always a lot of noise everywhere; that was normal for me. When I first became a runner the silence and the solitude were really hard for me to get used to, but I had no choice so I embraced them and learnt to like them; but it was always lonely. When I came here and Sheppard offered for me to stay I was surprised, but I wanted to, because I didn't want to be alone anymore. Atlantis isn't as loud and busy as Sateda, but there is a lot of noise compared to what I'm used to after being a runner for so long; it's a bit too much for me sometimes. I need to go out and find quiet sometimes, but once I'm there I can only take it for so long before I'm reminded of being a runner again and I feel the loneliness coming back."
"So you need a place that's quiet enough to keep you from being overwhelmed, but has enough noise so you don't feel alone," Rodney said, nodding understandingly.
"Yeah," Ronan replied. "I like it in here, there's the sound of the ocean and the computer makes a sound, but I can also hear you talking quietly and typing; it's just enough noise," he explained.
Rodney gave him a soft smile, "I think that's why John and Jack like it too," he said. "Well, consider it an open invitation to come down here whenever you like, I'll be happy to have your company. It gets a bit lonely sometimes when Sam is doing her own thing, even if she is just across the corridor. I like it when John's here because we can just be, we don't need to talk all the time. Sometimes we'll play some quiet music as well, but there's no need to constantly speak. It's calm and quiet, but I'm not alone. I have a feeling you'd like it too."
"I do," Ronan confirmed with a soft smile that Rodney returned.
"Well, glad to hear it," he replied, turning his attention back to his computer.
They lapsed into silence and Rodney went back to typing on his computer.
Ronon closed his eyes and lay back on the couch, enjoying the perfect level of noise in the lab.
It was quiet, but he wasn't alone.
XX
Evan walked through the corridors of Atlantis in a bit of a daze. He hadn't been meaning to eavesdrop, he really hadn't, he'd been going down to see Rodney because the man had emailed him that intel about Megan and he'd wanted to say thank you in person. He didn't know Ronon was there, and when he first heard them talking he was going to just knock on the wall and duck in to say a quick thank you before leaving them to it; but then he'd heard what they were talking about and he'd been so surprised he'd frozen in shock.
Sheppard and McKay were together? Sheppard was who McKay had been talking about that day in the forest? If Alice hadn't come along when she had would the man have told him the truth or would he have just not answered?
More importantly how had Ronon realised and Evan hadn't?
He hadn't been lying when he'd told Rodney that he just wanted to get to know him that day, he had, but he and the rest of his team had been talking the previous night about how little they really knew about SG2 and particularly Sheppard. When it had come time to partner up on the planet Lorne had taken the opportunity to partner with McKay because he figured he'd get more out of him than Teyla or Sheppard himself.
Would McKay have told him?
How had he never noticed?
Did anyone else know?
He figured that Carter would definitely know, she was McKay's best friend after all, but what about O'Neill? Would Sam have told him or would she have kept it a secret to protect her best friend's relationship? DADT was gone, but McKay had been right when he said there were always going to be people who had an issue with gay relationships. O'Neill had seemed pretty in support of the repeal, but was he really?
How had Evan not noticed?
If he really thought about it, Sheppard was often with McKay. Everyone was used to seeing McKay with Carter because they worked together, but thinking back Evan realised that Sheppard was often in McKay's lab when he wasn't working, he always sat next to McKay at dinner, and because no one but the people who lived there could get up to the top level of the tower Evan had no idea what their living arrangements were; they could have been living together all this time and none of the other staff would have known.
His mind reeled as he thought about it all; he still couldn't believe he'd never seen it.
He hadn't pegged either man as being gay. Sheppard certainly didn't come across that way; he was strong, fierce, utterly terrifying with a weapon in his hand and one of the most savage fighters Evan had ever come across. Of course with DADT around gay people in the military had to be so cautious, they couldn't afford to be picked out as being different, so Sheppard wasn't about to make it obvious.
If Evan were being honest with himself he had lived quite a sheltered life when it came to things like homosexuality, and he was sure he had a very skewed view of what gay people should look like from the few he'd come across.
That was the thing though wasn't it, Sheppard and McKay were the perfect example, how many gay men had Evan met and had no idea because they weren't like the ones he'd seen that fit the stereotype?
The idea of one of his CO's being gay was really hard to wrap his mind around, but mostly because he'd always thought in the way of stereotypes, and in all the stereotypes gay men weren't strong, brave soldier types, they were flowery, feminine and soft; none of those things fit with John Sheppard or Rodney McKay.
Evan walked into the mess hall and spotted his team at their usual table. They greeted him brightly before obviously seeing that he wasn't quite right.
"Are you okay, man?" Ford asked concernedly.
"Yeah, um …I just found out something … surprising … and it's really doing my head in," Evan admitted.
"Really? What's that?" Porter asked concernedly.
Evan looked around the room; it wasn't overly full yet, but there were still other people around and he didn't feel right talking about this where other people might hear.
"Not here, outside," he said, motioning for all of them to follow him, which he was glad they did without question.
Once they were out at one of the tables, as far away from anyone else as possible, Evan sat himself with his back to the ocean, to make certain no one could sneak up on him, and told his team what he'd heard.
"Whoa," Cadman said when he was finished, sounding shocked.
"Yeah, man, I did not see that coming," Ford replied.
"Me neither," Porter added, "with either of them. McKay certainly never comes across as gay, not like Jeanie, she's pretty obvious about it."
"I certainly didn't either," Evan replied.
"Well, the question is, how do you all feel about this? Is it going to affect your working relationships with either man?" Cadman asked.
They all looked at her surprised for a moment, before falling silent and looking thoughtful.
"I … don't think so, not on my end anyway," Porter said. "I personally don't care who McKay's in love with, it's doesn't change the fact that he's brilliant or that he's a good boss, so why should it affect me? I think it's more of a question for you military types. Is it going to be a problem for you, serving under a gay man?" she asked.
Cadman shook her head, "I don't care, Sheppard's great. He's more than capable and he's proven that several times over; who he's in love with doesn't affect me one bit."
Evan looked over at Ford who seemed to be torn. "I really like the guy, he's a great boss, and you're right he's more than capable … it's a little hard for me though, because I was raised in a Christian household, and, you know, it's a sin and all."
"After everything we've seen out here can you still really believe that one book could have all the answers to everything?" Cadman asked gently. "There's a lot of horrible stuff in the bible. I was forced to read it as a child and the old testament in particular is … well it gave me nightmares when I was really young. I could never blindly follow it because I know life isn't a book and sometimes it gets messy. Plus, we are soldiers and one of the deadliest sins is killing people, which we do all the time. If god created everything he also created the wraith, so we're out here killing his creations, not to mention other humans at times. Compared to that, is being gay such a terrible sin?"
"I guess when you put it that way, not really," Ford replied. "This really doesn't bother you at all?"
"No, why should it? Colonel Sheppard is a great guy, he'd put himself in the line of fire to save every one of us and you know it. Who he loves shouldn't change how you think of or feel about him," Cadman said with conviction.
They all turned to Evan then and he shook his head, "You're right of course, and in the long run I don't think it will."
"But …?" Porter prompted.
"I'm just trying to make it fit in my brain. I can't see it, you know, it just doesn't seem like it could be right … and I'm a little annoyed at myself that I didn't realise," Evan explained.
"Lorne, DADT has only just been repealed, you weren't supposed to realise," Cadman reminded him.
"Of course, I know that, it's just … Ronon has only been here such a short time and … he knew. It bothers me that he worked it out before me, I always thought I was good at taking notice of things."
"You are, you notice everything when we're off world," Ford reminded him. "But this is different, you weren't outwardly looking for signs that Sheppard and McKay were in love, were you?"
"No, I guess not," Evan conceded.
"Is that what's really bothering you about this? That he realised it before you?" Porter asked.
Evan thought about it, was that really what bothered him? Thinking back to his conversation with McKay the other day, then the conversation he'd just overheard with Ronon, he realised it wasn't just that Ronon had known first.
"The conversation they were having, McKay and Ronon, there was no hesitation in it, McKay just … said what he seemed to be thinking."
"And?" Ford asked.
"When have any of SG2 been that open with us?" Lorne asked.
"Well, never, but of course they're not going to be; Sheppard is in charge of us and McKay is in charge of all the scientists, they're hardly going to make a point of bringing up their personal lives around us, are they?" Cadman asked.
"I think that's the thing that bothers me, not that they were talking to each other so openly about it, but that I get the feeling McKay wouldn't have answered my question the other day, even if Alice hadn't come along," Evan explained.
"When you asked who he was in love with?" Porter asked.
"Yeah," Evan confirmed.
"Well of course he wouldn't have, you said yourself that one of the things he said to Ronon was that he didn't want the military staff to find out in case we made things hard for Sheppard," Cadman reminded him.
"But what does that say about their opinion of the rest of us?" Evan asked. "I know Sheppard's my boss, but I thought he at least liked me a bit and … I thought he trusted me, I thought they all did. We went on missions together and they certainly never seemed like they had any doubts about me, but they didn't trust me to know about this. Rodney seems to have no problem trusting Ronon though and he's been here, what? Two weeks? I think that's what really bothers me," Evan explained.
"Ronon's no threat to them though, is he? You said yourself that he said Sateda doesn't have rules about sexuality, he's not going to judge them for their relationship like people on earth might," Cadman reminded him. "And you know people can seem fine about something until they're presented with it, then turn out not to be so fine at all. How are they to know what kind of reaction they'd get from the rest of us?"
"You trust O'Neill, don't you?" Ford asked.
"Of course," Evan replied.
"But you admitted just a minute ago that you worried about whether Carter had felt the need to hide McKay and Sheppard's relationship from him, in case he wasn't as supportive of the repeal as he seemed," Ford pointed out.
Evan thought about it; Ford was right of course, he had thought exactly that.
"And do you know what I've just realised?" Cadman asked, looking at Evan thoughtfully. "If what you heard is true and Sheppard really does love McKay that much, that means that when you were on the planet looking for Alice, he trusted you to look after the person he cares about more than anyone else in the universe. Imagine how hard that would have been for him, and how much faith and trust he must have in you to agree."
Evan had never thought about that, but Cadman was right. Thinking back now Sheppard had hesitated for a second when Evan had asked; how badly must his head have been warring with his heart at that moment? How hard must it have been to let the scientist out of his sight and trust Evan with his safety? And yet he'd done it.
Thinking about it that way, Sheppard really must trust him a lot to have done that. Evan had never felt prouder or more grateful for someone's trust.
You're right, that is a good point," he agreed, with a smile that she returned.
"So really, is this messing with your head that much?" Porter asked.
"I still find it hard to believe but … no, I guess not," Evan conceded.
"What about you Ford?"
"Well, I guess I'm the same; it's a bit hard to get my head around the idea, but otherwise not really. You're right, we do kill things and people every day, if I'm okay with that, why shouldn't I be okay with this?" he asked.
"I'm going to be watching them more closely now though, I want to see what it was Ronon saw to make him realise," Porter replied.
They all made noises of agreement, then Cadman asked whether they were ready to get some lunch and they headed inside to the food area.
When they got there they saw that O'Neill, Sheppard, Teyla and Teal'c were already sitting at their usual table and Ronon and McKay were over at the food area waiting. Evan and the others moved over and lined up behind them, McKay turning to give Evan a friendly smile when he spotted him.
"Hey, Lorne, did you get my Email?" he asked amiably.
"I did indeed, thank you, the intel is much appreciated. I was coming down to say thank you in person earlier, but I didn't want to interrupt your conversation," he said in a friendly way, so McKay wouldn't think he had any negative feelings towards him or Sheppard because of it.
He saw it though, the way McKay paled and his eyes widened in alarm, tinged with fear; the man really was worried about the military personnel finding out about them. Evan felt bad, really bad. He hadn't wanted to scare McKay, he'd been hoping if he mentioned it as if it were nothing the man would understand that he was okay with it.
"I, ah … I think I forgot something back at the lab. Tell the others I'll be back soon," he said quietly to Ronon, moving out of the line towards the door.
Ronon glared at Evan and his team were tense around him.
He shouldn't have said anything, that was stupid.
Leaving the line, he followed McKay towards the door
"McKay, wait," he called after him quietly, not wanting to alarm anyone else in the room or draw their attention.
Rodney stopped just outside the door and looked back at Evan warily. He looked around them and when there was no one else nearby he asked, "How much did you hear?"
"Not much," Evan lied.
"But you know, don't you?" Rodney asked.
"Yes," Evan replied honestly and somehow Rodney paled even more, looking away and fidgeting nervously. "But hey, I'm not bothered by it and I'm not going to say anything, okay, it's not my business to tell," he assured Rodney quietly. "I wasn't thinking when I mentioned it, I certainly wasn't trying to upset you or worry you. It's your business and none of mine and I didn't mean to overhear, I was truly just coming down to say thank you and I left as soon as I realised you were having a private conversation."
Rodney looked back at him worriedly. "Really?" he asked, sounding unconvinced.
"I may have needed a minute to get my jaw off the floor," Evan tried for a joke, hoping it would dispel some of the tension in Rodney's frame. "But that's just because I was surprised, not anything else."
Rodney still looked tense and scared and Evan didn't know what else to say to him. "Okay, I'm going to sound completely emotionally inept right now, but how can I make you stop looking at me like that?" he asked. "I really don't like it, and I'm terrified that Sheppard or Ronon is going to come out here in a minute and kill me."
Actually, he was surprised neither of them had come out here already to see what was going on.
McKay finally cracked a smile at that and Evan saw him starting to relax a bit more. "You're really not going to say anything?" Rodney asked cautiously. "Please, John likes you."
"I'm not going to say a word, I promise," Evan replied. "Look, like I said, it's none of my business, I'm certainly not going to make it anyone else's. I was surprised, I never picked it, and … I was disappointed that you felt the need to hide it from me, but I also understand why you did. I'm happy for you," he finished with a reassuring smile.
"Okay, thanks. I'll have to remember to shut my lab door the next time anyone wants to talk to me; that could have ended far worse," he said self-deprecatingly.
"Well, I guess you don't get a lot of people coming down there in a day, but maybe a good idea," he agreed. "I'm assuming you didn't really leave anything in your lab?" Evan asked.
"No," Rodney replied.
"Okay, shall we get back to lunch then?" Evan asked.
"Yeah," Rodney agreed and they started walking back into the mess hall. "So, the intel was helpful?" he asked.
"Very helpful, thank you. Did you say it was your sister and Jennifer who helped you get it?" Evan asked.
"Yeah, they're very good at the whole getting to know you thing, unlike me, I'm terrible at it. Oh, before I forget," he stopped walking while they were still out of ear shot of anyone else. "Jennifer and Jeanie asked for some intel in return. They want to know about Ford and Cadman respectively.
Evan was surprised. Ford would be an easy one, Cadman was a bit more of a mystery and he had no idea what her preferences were; but he could probably find out.
"All right, I'll see what I can do," he replied and Rodney thanked him as they started moving back towards the food line where SG2 and Ronon were waiting, looking between Rodney and Evan expectantly.
Evan watched the scientist place a gentle hand on Ronon's arm, and the Satedan relaxed and turned his attention back to the food.
Evan had been with the team for a while, but of course he was still Sheppard's subordinate, and the Colonel, while being outwardly friendly, wasn't overly interested in ingratiating himself with anyone. So it really wasn't a surprise that they hadn't told him, particularly since they knew he wasn't going to be staying with them permanently. Ronon on the other hand would be staying with the team, and even just looking at he and Rodney, Evan see the connection they already had.
He was a little disappointed, but he had that with his own team and he wasn't going out of his way to involve himself with any of the other teams, was he? Sheppard trusted him and Evan had helped Rodney feel like he could trust him too; that was enough for now.
As he sat down with his team at their usual table, he turned his thoughts to Megan instead. Rodney had gotten the intel; it was up to him to use it.
XX
John walked Rodney back to his lab after lunch. Something was bothering the scientist and he knew it; he'd felt the tension in Rodney's frame as soon as he'd sat down beside him, and he looked nervous, which John didn't like. John only had mission reports and paper work to do that afternoon, they could wait a few minutes for him to talk to the love of his life.
They walked through the door of the lab and it shut and locked behind them before Rodney turned to look at John, those normally bright blue eyes looking at him far too nervously for John's liking. He moved forward, intending to pull Rodney into his arms; but Rodney held his hands up and kept some distance between them, which just made John more worried.
"I did something stupid today," Rodney told him and John felt his insides twist up in fear at the prospects. If Rodney looked this nervous it had to be something bad. "Ronon came down to the lab earlier and we were talking, turns out he'd worked out that you and I are together, which isn't an issue, Sateda had an open culture and there's no rules about sexuality so that's good. I wasn't thinking about the door though, it was open the entire time, and Lorne overheard us talking about … us," he motioned between himself and John. "He said he's not bothered by it and he won't say anything, but … he knows. I'm sorry, John I should have shut the door, I wasn't even thinking about it," he said self-deprecatingly, looking down.
John waited, sure there had to be something else coming, but there wasn't. Confused, John asked, "That's all that happened?"
"Yeah," Rodney replied, still not looking at him.
"Okay, maybe I've missed something, but I'm still waiting for the stupid part," he said, thinking back over everything Rodney had said in his mind.
Rodney looked up at him, his eyes looking worried, "Lorne knows," he said.
"And?" John asked.
"We were trying to keep this to ourselves," Rodney reminded him.
"Well, no, we were being discrete because of our positions, but we both agreed that if people found out, they found out, and that was that," John replied, still not following.
Rodney looked pained, "I know we said that, but … what if he'd taken it badly? What if he'd spread it around the entire city and any hateful, bigoted military staff found out and made your life hard? Made your job hard? I could have made things really difficult for you by not thinking about the door," he said and John just blinked at him.
"Wait a minute … that's why you're worried? You don't want the military staff to find out because you don't want them to be horrible to me…?" John looked down and shook his head with a relieved sigh; god he'd been really worried there for a minute. He looked back up at Rodney with an adoring smile. "You know how I tell you're the nicest person in the universe … well … you really are."
He moved forward and pulled Rodney into his arms, the currently confused looking man not pulling back this time. John sighed, holding him close and kissing his hair, "I love you, Rodney."
"I love you too," Rodney replied, and John almost laughed at the confusion he could hear in his love's voice.
"Sweetheart, I don't care if Lorne knows, I don't care if all the staff find out, and if there are some who want to be assholes about it, let them. I've had plenty of people be horrible to me in my time and I haven't cared anymore about those people than I would about anyone here. O'Neill isn't bothered and he's the one that runs my life, and everyone else's, if he were horrible about it, it would make my life harder, but I've had plenty of CO's hate me over the years and I've still gone on with my life and done my job, ultimately it really doesn't matter."
He grasped Rodney's arms gently and eased him back so they were looking at each other. "Do you know what does matter? You, and that's it, just you. You love me, you want me and that is really all that matters to me. I like the other people around us, they're great, but they're all superfluous compared to you. I truly wouldn't care if every one of them turned on me as long as you still love me." He brought his hand up to gently caress Rodney's face, glad to see him looking more happy than nervous now. "You are all I need," he said lovingly, leaning down to capture the scientist's lips in a soft, loving kiss.
Rodney sighed and melted against him; the tension John had been feeling in his frame since lunch time finally falling away. He wrapped his arms around John's neck, kissing him back and making a happy noise when John's hand slid down his back then slipped back up under his shirt to touch that lovely skin.
He pulled back after a few moments, loving the way Rodney's eyes now looked at him with love and desire rather than nerves and fear. "Don't worry, okay, it doesn't matter," John assured him softly.
"Okay," Rodney agreed quietly, his breath catching as John brought his lips down to kiss Rodney's neck, breathing in the scent of him. "I have to go and do paper work, as soon as I'm done I'll be back to get you and we're going to do something fun this afternoon, okay," he whispered.
"Mmm, fun," Rodney agreed, his hands slipping up into John's hair and gripping it gently.
"Don't do that, Rodney, I'll never leave," John chided without any conviction and Rodney's hand just gripped tighter, making John groan. He moved back up to Rodney's lips and kissed him, really having to fight to keep his desire in check. "I have to go," he whispered between kisses.
"I know," Rodney replied, making no move to stop kissing him. "Just one more minute."
He heard Rodney press something on his computer, then his hands were back in John's hair, keeping him close while his tongue stroked John's and John let himself melt into it for just a few moments.
Rodney I love you, I love you so much.
The computer made a soft, chime sound and Rodney's hand reluctantly released John's hair. John knew that chime had been an alarm Rodney had set for them and he gently eased back from the kiss, leaning his face against Rodney's.
"I love you," he breathed.
"I love you more," Rodney whispered back and they stood together just breathing for a few moments, before John pulled away.
He looked down at the scientist, who was looking back at him with love and still very obvious desire, and he took a step back before he could grab the man again.
"I'll see you soon."
"I'll be waiting," Rodney replied, thinking the door open for John to walk out of. He backed out of the room, watching Rodney as long as he could. Then he turned and walked up the corridor, doing his best to concentrate on the work he had to get done.
XX
So what did we think? I hope you enjoyed the sweetness and the naughty fun.
I wanted to spend a bit of time with SG2, as well as addressing the whole 'John and Rodney are gay how do we feel about that' situation. SO many people are so sheltered when it comes to same sex relationships and they assume people should fit in a stereotypical box, I wanted to a have that come up as well as the whole 'it's a sin, but we're soldiers that kill people' thing.
I hope you enjoyed the chapter, please let me know if you did. I've had a pretty horrible couple of weeks so comments would really cheer me up, plus it lets me know whether there's any point posting; it's always more fun when you have an audience to write for.
See you soon.