A/N: Special thanks to my amazing beta-reader, TempestJuvano. :)

Chapter 7 – Options and consequences

Lucifer squirmed slightly on the couch.

"So," Linda looked intently at Lucifer. "You told me yesterday you needed an extra session. You've never had a request like this before, so I assume something important had happened yesterday," Linda told him in her usual soothing voice. "But – something other than usual, because you didn't burst in here as you do, unannounced." She added under her breath.

He looked at her from the corner of his eyes, measuring his options. He desperately wanted to discuss yesterday's events with Linda, but he knew he had to be discreet. He couldn't talk about the Detective's private matters; it just wouldn't be right. Finally, he made his decision. He would be honest, but, at the same time, discreetly conceal the parts that she doesn't need to know about.

"Yes, you're right, doctor," he said and leaned forward a bit. "It's about the Detective."

"Hm, I have thought so much," she said and looked at him intently. "What happened?"

"It's just…I think that the Detective's relationship with Pierce bothers me more than I initially wanted to admit it."

Linda smiled at him kindly.

"I know it was hard for you to acknowledge that, but it is a very brave step," she praised him. "I assume something triggered this realization."

And they were already on tricky ground. He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and chose his words carefully.

"It's nothing important, really… The Detective and I had a moment." Lucifer paused, taking the time to phrase his next line.

"Did you -uh, did you become intimate?" Linda inquired.

"No! no, nothing like that," Linda observed, that Lucifer who was usually self-composed about sex, was uncomfortable talking about it. "It was just a chat – a weird and unusual one, which was somehow different from our usual banter. And I thought it meant…well…something. Or so it seemed at first. It evoked quite the unusual reactions from me. But then I realized, I was wrong. I had assumed a moment, where there hadn't been one. In fact, I also had to realize how close the Detective and Pierce became lately," he said bitterly.

"All right." Linda straightened in her seat and looked at him with determination. "Lucifer, we've been bypassing this issue for weeks, but I think it's time to face it. Why does this bother you so much? Why do you mind that Chloe is with Pierce?"

"I just…simply don't like it," he folded his arms and leaned back. "I mean, of course, I don't want to interfere in who she sleeps with or not, but – she's my partner," he emphasized the 'my' without meaning to. "I feel like her personal life is making me feel… at a discord."

Linda could see that he was erecting his walls again, and pushing the topic was very risky. But she concluded that Lucifer might have suffered enough to finally open up about this topic and they would finally be able to move forward.

"Lucifer, I know this is not…pleasant for you. But if you would like to end your suffering, you have to dig deeper."

"Deeper," Lucifer pondered for a while but sighed eventually.

"Fine," he relented. He leaned forward again and rested his elbows on his knees. "The true reason why this bothers me so much is…that I'm afraid that I will lose her eventually."

"Are you afraid that she will end your partnership? That you won't be able to work with her anymore?"

"No, doctor," he said and there was slight indignation in his voice. "There is nothing wrong with our partnership. She never implied that she wouldn't need my services at work."

"I see. Then do you feel that your friendship is jeopardized?"

Lucifer squirmed uncomfortably but answered anyway.

"Well, I have to admit that we don't spend much time together since she's been with Pierce, but we still have each other's back." He stopped for a moment, pondering a little bit on his next sentence. "We still consider each other friends, I assume."

Linda looked at him intently. She had to poke the Devil a little further to have a breakthrough.

"So, you are saying that you're not losing her as a partner and you're not losing her as a friend. How else could you lose her?"

The silence that followed her question was heavy like the late autumn mist on the barren fields. Lucifer looked like an animal that was cornered in its cage, exhausted by the constant fight, ready for surrender.

"I could lose my chance with her," he whispered, his eyes lingering on an invisible spot on the ground. "To be…a thing," he added shyly.

"You still want to be with her," she summed up gently.

"Yes," he said and clenched his jaw. "But it's not an option, and you know that very well!" Lucifer spat with sudden anger in his voice.

"I know that you think you cannot be with her. But I think there is a mistake in your reasoning," she said and slightly raised her chin in defiance.

His eyes widened.

"Excuse me?" he asked incredulously. Before she could answer, he got up and glared at her. "I told you about the miraculous origin story of the Detective, and you know very well, that my Father wanted us to cross each other's path! Everything was a manipulation!" he nearly yelled at the end.

Linda raised her hand to stop him.

"You know, I think you're wrong about that last part," she told him calmly.

Lucifer was only able to mouth a silent 'What?', so she continued.

"We know that God put Chloe in your path, but that's all." Lucifer was confused. Where could the doctor be going with this?

To help him understand her point, she asked him, "Do humans have free will?"

Lucifer finally found his tongue.

"Of course, they have free will," he said and looked at her as if she asked the dumbest question ever. "It was a point of pride for dear old Dad, that he gave this gift – which he denied us, angels – to every human being."

"Right. And…is Chloe human?"

At first, Lucifer looked at her as if she had two heads, but he quickly got the point.

"Oh, I see what you did there. Yes, the Detective is human. But this doesn't mean that… Father could…" He wanted to strike back with something very smart and obvious, but at the end, this was all he could utter, "I gave her back her choice. Her free will." He sat back slowly and folded his arms.

"So, she didn't have a choice before. She was destined to fall for you," she said and watched his reaction, and when she saw him nod, she continued, "Interesting. Now I am really curious. If this was your Father's intent, why did she find you repulsive when you first met? Because this is exactly how she described you. If this was your Father's intent, why did she marry Dan and have a child with him?"

Lucifer just stared at her with wide eyes, so she continued.

"I think you know the answer. Because she did have free will. So, she was able to choose, and she is able to choose whatever and whomever she wants."

Lucifer averted his gaze and his eyes flickered from one object to another in the room in search for an argument against that realisation, to make sense that he didn't just give her up when she could have chosen him…, but he gave up in the end. His hands fell onto his lap and his shoulders slumped. Linda had never seen him so defeated.

"Why?" he asked barely above a whisper. "Why are you telling me this now? Now, that I missed my chance to be with her?"

He didn't sound angry. He sounded broken. Linda looked at him with sympathy.

"Lucifer, this is the first time you are willing to speak about Chloe. When you learned about her origin, you ran away for weeks and came back married. And after that, you refused to speak about anything related to your abrupt leave and return, your marriage, your divorce, and your reinterpreted relationship with Chloe. You were so obsessed with the thought that everything you had was a result of sheer manipulation that I didn't have the chance to speak about this with you."

Lucifer did his best to repress the tinge of despair in his voice.

"What should I do now, doctor?"

"Lucifer, you know I can't tell you what to do. But I can help you think through your options as well as their possible consequences."

When Lucifer sighed and nodded, she asked gently, "So what do you think?" She leaned back slightly and adjusted her glasses. "What are your options?"

Lucifer was silent for a while, clearly weighing his opportunities. He straightened suddenly and told her the first option with a sudden resolve, "I could tell her."

Linda held his gaze and nodded to encourage him to continue. Lucifer swallowed but went on.

"I could tell the Detective how I feel about her. I could tell her the truth. The whole truth about me and about Pierce."

"Good. And what would possibly happen if you decided to choose to tell her everything? What could be the advantages and disadvantages of this option?"

"If I only told her that I…about how I felt about her, she would…she might have questions. She might not like it if she…has feelings for the lieutenant. That's why I also need to tell her about Pierce, and who he really is. When she finds out the truth, she might not like it. But the bigger problem is, she won't believe me. That Pierce could be, the truth of who I am, really–"

His eyes went wide as another realisation sunk in.

"I need to show her the truth. My wings, my..." He looked away from Linda. "I'm just afraid, that this celestial craziness might be too overwhelming for her. I think…" his voice quavered, and he looked up at Linda, who smiled encouragingly, "She wouldn't want to see me, either. I would lose her. Completely."

He lowered his head and began fiddling with his ring absent-mindedly.

"But she deserves to know who she's with," he added.

"Okay. Let's see another option."

Lucifer sighed, but he didn't look up this time.

"I wouldn't tell her anything. She would continue to be with Pierce until that vermin breaks her heart. Or… they would live happily ever after," he huffed bitterly. "Whichever would happen, I couldn't bear to see it. So, I would leave."

The last sentence dragged his heart down as if he had tied a heavy rock to it.

"And what could be the advantages and disadvantages of this decision?" Linda asked calmly.

"I might finally get rid of this misery. Maybe I could…move on," he said, but his words didn't seem convincing even to himself. "I wouldn't stay in their way. However, if the skunk does hurt the Detective, I wouldn't be there by her side. I wouldn't be able to protect her."

They were both silent for a while before Linda spoke again.

"I think you weighed the options quite well, Lucifer. Maybe it's best to let it all sink in a bit for now. Our time is up, but if you need another session this week, give me a call."

"Right," he muttered. He stood up, nodded weakly, and left his therapist's office.

Linda frowned and stared worriedly at the closing door. No sudden reckless ideas. Or misinterpreting her advice. She should have been happy, yet some indefinite bad feeling twisted her stomach. She hoped all of this wouldn't end badly.