As usual, when writing a new chaptered story, I like to try and push myself to work on an area I feel I could do better in. For Healing that was character feelings and emotions, for Shadows that was action scenes and a complicated, twisting plotline. And now for Handler, it's communication—specifically getting two people in completely separate locations, to fall in love with each other only through talking. I felt like a lot of my dialogue in Shadows could have flowed much better, so we'll see if I can improve on that here. I hope you'll enjoy the story!
"This is Handler Alpha, can you hear me, SOLDIER?"
Aerith waited nervously for a response from the other side of the connection. The blinking green light indicated they were connected, but she couldn't hear anything from the other side, not even the sound of his breathing. Shifting in her chair, she did her best to calm down—forcing her leg to stop its repetitive tapping. There was nothing to be worried about, she'd passed the final exam a month ago with the first-ever perfect score, earning wide praise and an escalated timeframe for starting her new job.
Her first job.
That's where the nerves came from. She knew it was silly. The obvious end result of getting an education in something was to pursue a career using it, but now that the reality was upon her . . . it was intimidating. Doing well in training was great and all, it was just a completely different matter knowing she had an actual person's life in her hands.
What if she messed up? What if her actions resulted in a mission failing? What if she caused someone to die?
Aerith slapped her cheeks with both hands, the stinging blow forcing her out of the downward spiral she'd begun upon. Worrying like that was not only counterproductive, it was dangerous. This was exactly why she'd gone through the training she had—preparing herself to be able to handle the pressure that being a Handler inevitably brought on. She was ready. She could do this.
Assuming she could get in contact with her SOLDIER, that was. What in Gaia's name was wrong with the connection? Shinra was well known for its cutting-edge technology, and she'd never heard of any kind of issues between a Handler and their SOLDIER like this. The line between them was vitally important—SOLDIERs were the muscle on the ground, fighting the war against the dangerous forces from Wutai, while Handlers watched the battlefield remotely thanks to aerial satellite support. It was not an exaggeration to say that their ability to communicate could be the difference between life and death.
Realizing her leg had started tapping once again, Aerith put her hand on her knee to stop it before taking a deep breath. There was no need to get so worked up over this, they didn't even have a mission yet, she'd just wanted to establish contact to get to know him better. After all, he was the most famous SOLDIER in the army, specifically assigned to Aerith after all of her hard work. She'd try a few more times to establish a connection before reaching out to tech support.
"SOLDIER, this is Handler Alpha, please confirm if you can hear me."
Cloud winced as the female voice came through the earpiece once again. It had only been two days since he'd driven his last Handler away, how had they managed to find a replacement so quickly? He'd been hoping to get at least a week of peace and quiet before the next idiot showed up to try and order him around. As if he needed their help. He would have pulled the damn thing out of his ear if it wouldn't have gotten him killed the moment an officer noticed.
Whoever they'd managed to find certainly didn't sound very confident, which in turn immediately made him not want to trust them. SOLDIERs were supposed to rely on their Handlers for remote aid on the battlefield, turning the already potent weapons into tools of complete destruction. Cloud had never understood the point. He didn't need someone sitting safely back home to tell him how to do his job and his numbers showed it—only Zack had a record even close to his. Maybe if he continued to ignore her she'd give up and leave him alone.
"SOLDIER? Are you there? Am I not doing something right?"
Or not. There wasn't even a mission tomorrow, why the hell was she trying to contact him right now? He just wanted to zone out before calling it a night, maybe read or something. Deciding to do exactly that, he leaned over and grabbed the latest book Zack had lent him from where it lay on the table next to his bed. It was a decent fantasy novel for once, filled with great action and adventure, about a group of heroes saving the world from a villain trying to destroy the Planet with a giant meteor. As if Materia that powerful actually existed. Cloud couldn't help but chuckle.
"Oh?! I heard something, but you're breaking up I think. Could you please repeat that?"
Damnit. For the hundredth time, he wished this stupid thing had a mute button. It had taken years of practice to get his breathing to the point where they couldn't hear it if he didn't want them to. Well, the jig was up now. Considering how persistent she was being, he figured there was no way she'd give up now that she'd heard something from him. Silently cursing Zack—even though he knew it was his own damn fault—Cloud sighed loudly and carelessly tossed the book back on the table, wincing as it slid off the opposite side and crashed to the floor. Oops.
"Sorry, I was sleeping," he lied. "What's going on, is Wutai attacking?" Cloud made sure to tinge his voice with just the right amount of alarm. Let her stew on that. She sounded like the type of person who'd feel terrible about waking someone up. His suspicions seemed grounded as there was a long moment of silence before she spoke up.
"I am so sorry. We're not under attack, I just wanted to get in touch with you. I can only imagine how exhausted you must be after all of these missions, I feel horrible for waking you."
"Seriously? And it takes me so long to manage to fall asleep too . . ." Another lie, Cloud had always been able to sleep in whatever situation he found himself in, an incredibly handy skill to have in his line of work he'd discovered.
"Oh. Well, I suppose that means we'll at least have some time to get to know each other then!"
Damnit. In retrospect, he probably should have seen that coming. Now that he'd walked right into this, there was nothing to do other than accept it. "Fine, let's chat then since you seem determined to bug me. What's your mission count? I imagine it must be fairly high if you were assigned to me."
"Um." He could hear her swallow over the line. "Well, I was the top of my class and I've participated in over one hundred tactical simulations based on real combat scenarios—some you were involved in, as a matter of fact! But . . . in terms of actual combat experience . . ."
"You have none." Rubbing both of his temples with his hands, Cloud could feel a headache coming on. Was seriously happening? They'd assigned a fresh rookie to him? This had to be a joke, except he was unable to find any trace of humor in it.
"Hey, that might be true, but it doesn't mean I'm bad at my job! Like I said, I've done a lot of training, far more than is required. I wanted to be extra sure I was prepared for when I graduated!"
Cloud cringed. She sounded so bubbly, for lack of a better word. He'd never had to deal with a Handler like this before. Was this Shinra's way of getting revenge after how many he'd gone through? Babysitting someone fresh out of school who clearly had no idea what she was doing was not his idea of a good time. He'd known his clock was winding down, but Cloud thought he still had a few months left at least, if not a year. Maybe this was a sign they were done with him. He made a mental note to check in with Zack later, his friend was the only other SOLDIER who'd survived as long.
"Look, I'm sure you've mastered all the various training missions they prepared for you and that's great, absolutely incredible." His voice hardened, making sure to let some of his anger out. "But if you think for even a moment that any of that nonsense has prepared you for the nightmare of a real battlefield then you're a fool."
"Now wait a moment, that's not very—"
"You think your training prepared you for everything? How about the screams of people dying? Do they include that for you?"
"No, but—"
"You'll hear that you know. It always seems to be the real wake-up call for the new ones, like you. Surprises me every time, I mean, what do you think we're doing after all? This isn't some kind of game."
"I'm very much aware of that, and—"
"That's not even the worst of it. The thing that breaks most Handlers is when their SOLDIER dies. Everyone begs not to die in their last moments, and you have to listen to it all, knowing it's your fault. That you killed them. Can you say with complete conviction you're ready for that?"
There was another long pause once he finished—the line silent except for the faint sound of her breathing to indicate she was still there. Cloud unclenched his fist, taking a deep breath of his own after how worked up he'd gotten.
"I appreciate that you're worried for me," she finally said, "but I'm stronger than you think. And it's my job to not let you get into a situation where that last part would become an issue."
By this point, he should have been used to it, but it was always so infuriating to hear how optimistic Handlers were. Cloud assumed it was because they were remote and unexposed to any of the realities that SOLDIERs had to live through—realities that made it nearly impossible to be positive about anything at all. Zack was the only one who had any semblance of light-going humor left.
Not wanting to continue going over the same points endlessly, he decided to let it go. Maybe it would get her to hang up and leave him alone already so he could get back to his book. "Right, fine, that's great and all. I'll be counting on your sage guidance to keep my poor, little, helpless self safe and sound, oh mighty Handler."
"I can see that when they trained you to be a SOLDIER, they left out the lesson in manners!"
"Trained for SOLDIER . . ." Something inside of Cloud snapped, his roiling anger surging out. "It figures you'd consider that training. Every single one of you is exactly the same. Safe and comfortable from your remote location, thinking you're helping, that you're just as involved in the war as we are. Guess what, you're not."
Cloud was yelling now. He knew he was crossing a line, knew deep down she didn't deserve this, but couldn't bring himself to care. After all the shit he'd been forced to deal with—how his life had been stolen from him—she was an easy target to take it all out on.
"The other SOLDIERs will lie to their Handlers, pretend like they actually appreciate the help, but I'll let you in on a little secret, okay? We all hate you. We hate what you've done to us, how you treat us, and how you think we should be grateful to you."
"Not my son, don't take my son!"
A soldier was dragging her away from him.
"Mommy! Mommy!"
The ugly scientist smiled down at him.
"Get him to the lab, put her in a holding cell for now."
Another soldier roughly grabbed him by the arms as his mother vanished from view.
"Yes sir."
Cloud banished the memory, shoving it back into the deepest, darkest recesses of his mind. One day he would get his revenge on the scientist in the white lab coat who was responsible for all this, but for now, he returned his attention to the Handler.
"I hope you sleep well tonight, all nice and cozy in your warm bed, under a secure roof. It must be so easy, not having to worry about if you're going to die the next day if your friends are going die. Instead, you get to think about which dress you should wear to the next party, wonder if it's time for a new haircut, or come up with plans for your next date.
"You put us here. You did this to us. So no, I don't really have any manners, at least not when it comes to your kind." Finishing his tirade, Cloud slumped back into his pillow, breathing heavily. He'd never actually lost control with a Handler before, not like this, but after what she'd said . . . as if they were blameless in this whole situation . . . it pissed him off to no end.
"I hate you." Her voice was wavering as if she were on the verge of crying.
The line cut out.
Excellent. They were off to the perfect start.
Aerith threw her CommLink onto the desk, biting her lip and doing her best not to burst into tears. That had been a disaster. How had things gone so horribly? Was it her fault? Had she done something wrong?
No.
Aerith clenched her fists tightly together. She wasn't the one to blame here. While she didn't know what his problem was, he clearly had some kind of grudge with Handlers—which might also explain why he'd been passed around so much, far more than any other SOLDIER. And now she was stuck with him.
Of course, Aerith could always request a transfer, but . . . that felt like giving up, especially after such a short amount of time. She wasn't a quitter, hadn't taken the easy route at any point in her life—despite what a certain jerk of a SOLDIER seemed to think. If he continued to treat her with the same disrespect, then, and only then, would she reach out to her superiors. Who knew, maybe she'd simply caught him at a particularly bad time. She had woken him up after all.
The things he'd said, while full of hatred and anger, also confused her. His words hadn't been directed at her individually, but rather the entire organization—the very structure of the army itself. Or at least, that was the way she'd interpreted it, considering how passionate his rant had been even though they hardly knew each other. Not that she'd forgive him, there was absolutely no excuse for him to have gone off on her like that.
Taking a deep, calming breath, Aerith picked up the CommLink and stored it safely away in the desk drawer before debating what to do next. Part of her wanted to go find Tifa and complain about how horrible her first meeting had gone, but at this time of night, her best friend would be busy working at the bar up on the forty-ninth floor and Aerith didn't want to bother her. Continuing to sit here and stew, while arguably gratifying, wasn't terribly productive.
Instead, Aerith bounced to her feet, tucking her chair under the desk before heading to the bathroom. Flicking on the light, she moved to the bath and started running the water—setting it to the familiar mark where it would be just hot enough. While she waited for the bath to fill, Aerith moved to sink and opened one of the drawers, perusing her dwindling collection of bath bombs. Making a mental note to see if Tifa wanted to go shopping for more together with her, she settled on a light purple one.
As she dropped the sphere into the full tub, the smell of lavender exploded outward—immediately soothing and relaxing her. This was easily her favorite bath bomb, one she'd been saving for when urgent and immediate unwinding was needed. If now wasn't that time, then she didn't know when would be. Pulling her light pink dress over her head, she slipped her underwear off before sliding into the water with a loud sigh.
All of her stress and anger from the previous conversation faded away as she luxuriated in the warm comfort of the bath. This was heavenly. It had been a long time since Aerith had allowed herself a moment of complete relaxation, and as she soaked, she could feel the tension in her body flowing out into the surrounding water. She lay there, her eyes closed, mind completely empty, imaging she was resting on the top of a flower-covered hill under the open sky.
Eventually, the water lost its heat and Aerith reluctantly got out and toweled off, pulling on her warm, fluffy bathrobe. Settling down on her bed, she grabbed the book she was currently reading from her bedside table, opening it to where she'd left off. While the action and adventure were certainly exciting, and the main antagonist's plan of destroying the world was terrifying, what really drew her into the story was the connection and bonds of the heroes—specifically the male and female leads. The book wasn't really a romance, but all the same, she couldn't help but root for the two of them to fall happily in love.
She'd left off right as they finished their date at Gold Saucer after they'd ended up stuck there when the gondola had broken down and she was incredibly excited to see what happened next. Propped up on her pillows, Aerith immersed herself in the story.
So, pretty safe to say that we're not off to the best start here, haha. I imagine this wasn't what people were expecting either, hopefully, it's not so much that it turns you off. Cloud is obviously being a huge jerk here, but in his defense, he's been through a lot. Which we'll be getting to as we learn more about both of them! I hope you're excited to find out more and see how these two manage to overcome this and grow together. See you next week!
Next Chapter: Mission