A/N: There's still a little more story to tell! I hope you enjoy this update.
A son!
They had a son!
Throughout the many years of his captivity, it never crossed Rick's mind that he and Michonne created a life together… that they'd created a son! What had crossed his mind was what he said to Michonne on one of the last mornings they shared together…
"I can think of another way to build for the future."
The memory tormented him because of the regret that always followed it. He should've tried to start building for the future sooner, but he just wasn't ready. Michonne was, he knew she was. Creating the foundations of a new civilization allowed a much softer side of his wife to blossom. There'd always been a kind, gentle, nurturing side that balanced her warrior side, but as one more day with a chance transformed into endless days of opportunities, she glowed with hope for the future. She saw a possibility in it that he was initially too afraid to embrace after the losses they'd experienced as parents.
He was kidnapped so soon after they started trying that he never considered the possibility of...
But they'd done it! They created a child! A son!
Rick could already feel the weight of new regrets tearing through him. He'd missed out on everything, from watching their child grow in Michonne's belly to witnessing all the moments that shaped him into the boy he was today. He'd played no part in his son's life, and that was a soul crushing blow. But for now, the joy of holding him in his arms—holding their son in his arms!—was all that mattered.
"These tracks are fresh! He ain't far!" a gravelly voice shouted from the other side of Alexandria's wall. "Let's get back to 'Chonne's and let her know. Then we head out!"
RJ gasped and buried his head in his daddy's neck. If his Uncle Daryl was tracking him, then he knew he was in big, big trouble. "Mama's gonna be mad," he whispered.
"I think…" Rick said, his voice trembling as he fought through the emotion of hearing Daryl's voice, "I think she's just worried and scared, son. I think she'll be very happy to see you're okay."
RJ knew his mama would be happy, but he also knew she would be real mad first. "Daddy, let's go to the Kingdom. Ezra will hide us," he whispered.
Rick held his son tighter. "I'm a little scared too," he admitted, which was why he hadn't called out to Daryl.
"You are?" RJ asked, surprised that his daddy would be scared of anyone.
"I am," Rick replied, rising to his feet with his boy—his son!—hugging him tight around his neck.
"But mama won't be mad at you. She'll be the most happiest! So don't be scared, daddy, ok? Why are you scared?"
Rick took a deep breath as all his fears and self-doubts resurfaced. "I just am," he replied, leaving it at that. He wouldn't unload his insecurities on a child—his child! "But how about you and me be brave together and go see your mama together? How does that sound?" he asked. He grinned when his boy—his son!—looked up at him with those big, brown eyes. He couldn't believe it took him so long to realize that those big, brown eyes were a result of his and Michonne's love.
"Yes!" RJ agreed, nodding. "We'll see mama together cuz you're the Brave Man, and I'm the Little Brave Man!"
Rick heart swelled with so much love and pride. "You're my brave little man," he whispered in awe.
"Little Brave Man, daddy!" RJ said, giggling.
That giggle was the most blissful thing Rick had heard in almost a decade.
"My Little Brave Man," he repeated with a grin, slowly heading to Alexandria's entrance gate.
The sound of it opening stopped Rick in his tracks, and he stumbled back in shock when a young girl stepped out. In spite of the distance between them, he recognized Judith. His little girl was definitely no longer so little. Though her physical resemblance to Lori was undeniable, the way she carried herself—so poised, and fierce, and ready to take on the world, was all Michonne. A small katana was strapped to her back, and she was carrying a gun that looked an awful lot like his Colt. She was also wearing the old sheriff's hat passed on to her from Carl. He hoped wearing that hat made her feel the same way Carl felt when he wore it… like her family was always with her, like she was strong.
"It's Jude!" RJ gasped. He grinned and waved to get her attention.
"RJ!" Judith shouted in a panic when she saw her brother in a stranger's arms.
RJ groaned because Judith must have thought that was a "Help! Save me!" wave, but it was a "Look! I'm with daddy!" wave. He groaned again when she started running with her Colt aimed low at their daddy's legs.
"I'll be back right back, ok, daddy? I have to talk to Jude, so don't go anywhere," he said, wiggling out of their daddy's arms to go calm Jude down. She sometimes shot first and asked questions later.
Rick kept his eyes on his babygirl and managed to give his son a half of a nod to confirm he wasn't going anywhere. Tears were once again streaming down Rick's face. But even with his vision blurred he could see how fearless Judith was, and he knew Carl was right. She was going to beat this world.
RJ really didn't want to leave his daddy, but Jude was moving so fast. He really, really hoped she would listen to him and put her gun down. He didn't want to fight with his sister, but he wasn't going to let her hurt their daddy.
"Don't shoot!" RJ shouted as he ran toward her. "Jude! Don't shoot!"
Judith was happy that RJ was running away from the stranger but annoyed that he was now blocking her shot. She had to lower her gun to be safe.
"RJ, are you ok?" she asked, stopping to examine her little brother when they made it to each other. She quickly checked for any cuts, bruises or wounds while aiming the Colt at the stranger again. RJ was wearing a beanie she didn't recognize, but he didn't appear to be hurt. "Mom!" Judith shouted. "Answer me, RJ! Are you ok?"
"Yes, but—"
Satisfied with his answer, Judith continued running towards the stranger. She scanned the area and saw two bodies by a tree that weren't moving. She knew RJ had to be the one to take them down, and she was so proud of him. She'd make sure to tell him later. Her focus quickly returned to the man. She wouldn't know if he was alone unless she swept the area, but she couldn't do that right now. She would have to take her chances confronting him and hope she wasn't ambushed. Even though he wasn't giving off a dangerous vibe, he was a stranger who'd had his hands on her brother. That made him a threat, and that's how she would treat him.
"Hands up!" she shouted. "MOM!" she shouted louder.
"Jude! Stop!" RJ yelled, running after her.
She ignored him. "Who are you? Why are you here?" she shouted at the man.
The man didn't answer her, which made her blood boil, but just as she was about to fire a warning shot, she froze in place and lowered her gun. She knew that face. It was red, and wet from tears, and covered in a white beard, but she knew that face.
"Dad?" she whispered, staring at him.
The Colt, all of a sudden too heavy, fell from her hand to the snow.
"Jude, it's daddy!" RJ panted out when he was standing next to her.
She stared in disbelief at the man she thought she'd forgotten.
"Dad!" she croaked, running to him. She ran so fast her hat blew off. "Dad!" she sobbed when she was in his arms.
"Sweetheart," Rick wept, crumbling to his knees.
"Daddy!" she sobbed, hugging him as tight as she could.
As a man who'd been starving for the affection of his family for so many years, these hugs from his kids were slices of heaven.
"I missed you so much," Rick choked out. "I thought about you every day, Judith. Every single day."
Judith sobbed even harder. She never thought she'd see him again and that made her feel worse than terrible.
"Dad!" she cried out, pulling away from him, "I'm sorry! I didn't believe! RJ said you disappeared, but people don't just disappear, dad! They don't! Mom told me what happened on the bridge, and I thought the explosion must have torn you apart or the heat must have disintegrated you. It's the only thing that made sense! But I should've believed! I'm sorry I didn't, dad! I'm sorry!" she wept.
"Hey, no, no, no, sweetheart, no. You don't have to apologize," Rick quickly told her, pulling her back into their hug. His heart was breaking from seeing his daughter so distraught, and his tears flowed faster. "I'm here now, Judith. That's all that matters. I'm here, and I'll never leave you again."
Judith was not a fan of the word "never." Since anything was possible, she thought anyone who used "never" was being dishonest to others or to themselves, but she would make an exception this one time because she so badly wanted what her dad said to be true.
"I love you, dad," she said through her sobs.
"I love you too, sweetheart."
RJ really, really, really wanted to be a part of their hug, but he knew his mama would be there soon because of how Jude had shouted for her. He rolled his eyes because Jude had such a big mouth sometimes, but he was happy to see his sister with their daddy. He turned away from them and slowly walked to the gate with his head down. His daddy said they would be brave together and see his mama together, but Jude needed him more than he did right now, so he was going to be brave all by himself. He picked up Jude's hat as he passed it and placed it over the Colt a few feet away so she could easily find it when she looked for it.
When he made it to the gate, he groaned to himself. Her could hear his mama's quiet steps in the snow getting closer and closer. A few seconds later, she ran out of Alexandria with her katana in her hands ready for a fight.
RJ really, really, really, really, really hoped she didn't take his go-kart away.
"Hi, mama," he murmured, but he kept shoulders back and his head up, and he looked his mama in her eyes because he was brave just like his daddy.
Michonne wasn't expecting to see RJ, but there her baby was. He was standing off to the side looking just like Rick used to when he'd done something wrong.
"RJ!" she shouted, sheathing her katana and running the short distance to one of the most precious pieces of her heart. She wrapped her arms around him while tears of relief and tears of frustration battled to be the first to fall.
Just a few minutes ago, she'd been at home trying to write RJ a note in case he returned while she and Judith were out looking for him. It was her third attempt trying to write something because of how badly her hand was shaking. She couldn't stop thinking about all the terrible things that could happen to him on his way to a place that didn't exist in such snowy conditions.
On her fourth attempt at writing a note, she heard a faint shout of "MOM!" and snapped the pencil she was holding in half. She recognized her babygirl's voice and heard the fear and urgency it. Terrified, Michonne grabbed her katana and rushed down the stairs and out the front door. She ran swiftly in the direction of the shout, which she thought had come from the front of Alexandria. She had some distance to cover since their home was in the back of Alexandria, but distance didn't matter to Michonne.
"You can't just sneak out and run off, RJ! You can't!" she scolded, hugging him tight. "You cannot disappear on me!"
If not for Aaron pounding on her front door, she wouldn't have known that RJ was missing until much later in the morning. From what Aaron told her, Jerry had tried reaching her through walkie-talkie. When she didn't answer, Jerry contacted Daryl. Daryl, who'd only been able to sleep about two hours a night after Connie's baby bump started to show, was wide awake and answered his walkie immediately. Jerry told him that he was concerned about RJ because his daughter heard Ezra and RJ talking about him going to the North Pole. Daryl was more than concerned. He knew how the Grimes kids were. He got in touch with Aaron and filled him in on what was going on. Since he had to get Connie to Siddiq and Rosita's place before organizing a search party, Aaron rushed to Michonne's to wake her up to check on RJ.
It didn't take long for Michonne to discover that he wasn't asleep on the couch and that he'd hidden the walkie under one of the cushions. Judith was the one who noticed the note in the cat statue.
"Mama, I'm sorry," RJ apologized. He wasn't sure if his mama heard him because she was holding him so tight and mushing his face into her coat.
Michonne did hear RJ's apology, but she wasn't going to acknowledge it until she knew he was okay. She forced herself to let go of him to check for any injuries. Her eyes scoured his face first. She didn't like how red his nose and cheeks were, but his lips weren't discolored from the cold and his face still had an overall healthy glow to it. She quickly examined his coat, jeans and boots and then turned him around to examine him from behind. She turned him back around and took his hands to examine his gloves. Once it was apparent that everything was intact and that RJ was fine, she let her relief sink in for a few seconds before her frustration took over.
RJ saw the look on his mama's face and wanted to tell her what she always told him when he got mad… that anger makes you stupid. But he didn't think that was the best idea.
"I left a note so you wouldn't worry," he said instead. "Did you find it, mama?"
Michonne sighed heavily. Her children leaving notes after they got the bright idea to sneak out of the house would be the death of her. She wholeheartedly believed they were the most capable children in all of the communities and that they were more capable than some of the adults, but they were still her babies. And every time one of her babies ran off to who knows where, she was driven towards the brink of full-blown insanity.
She thought she had a few more years before RJ followed in Judith and Carl's footsteps.
"RJ," she said, gently holding his face in her hands, "why would you go out looking for Santa, baby? Why?"
"For my one wish, mama! My wish for daddy!"
Michonne was trying very hard to keep her shit together, but her son was making it impossible. His wish combined with his beaming Rick Grimes-style smile brought fresh tears to her eyes.
"You wished for your daddy?" she asked in a hushed voice.
RJ grinned and nodded his head.
"Oh, sweetie," she said softly as her tears started to fall.
Michonne would do anything for her kids. Anything. That's why her inability to give them the one thing they wanted the most in the world was something she struggled with on a daily basis for years.
"Mama, don't be sad! My one wish came true!" RJ said excitedly, bouncing on his heels. "Look!" He turned and pointed to his daddy and Jude. "It's daddy!"
A/N: Reviews are appreciated! Stay safe out there.