By popular demand (?) I am continuing the story I started a few months ago.
This is the fourth part of my 'Inevitable' series. You might want to read those before reading this part of the story.
This is set in season 1 and will follow some episodes as this story develops, but I am taking some MAJOR liberties with the story and canon and keeping a bit of dialogue in some parts.
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The call came after 3 am when he was lying awake in bed, his wife sleeping beside him. The nightswere getting longer and colder, the autumn chill letting itself know as it penetrated his bones. Those long nights got to him now in a way they hadn't before, and it made him miss her. How could he miss something, someone, he never quite had?
The first time they abandoned all pretenses had been during the summer when the nights were warm and the days were hot. When the heat was unbearable and it made some parts of the city smell like garbage, and the breeze that lifted off the river and into the city made the evenings for late-night strolls and feverish romances. The summer had been a crossroad for him, where he had chosen a different path than before and had never wanted to look back.
The bed jiggled as Kathy turned on her side, facing away from him. It made him remember where he was and where he wished to be. Elliot shared the marital bed with her as he did most nights, but there were other nights where he preferred to settle in the small guest bedroom down the hall, and he got up very early the next morning, so their children wouldn't notice any sudden change in their parents' routine.
The excuses were running out. Elliot found himself spending more and more nights each week in that small bedroom that had more than once served as a nursery. He made up pretexts, telling his wife he had had a rough day or a long night, and that he needed some space. But, in reality, the nights he spent alone were the nights after he had been with Olivia and he could still feel her soft body against his. Feel the taste of her tongue in his mouth, the soft weight of her breasts in his hands, and the heat of her core surrounding his length. He wanted to be alone on those nights and when the need for her got so strong that he felt guilty to even look at his wife.
And Kathy knew, or at the very least suspected something was different. How could she not?
Olivia had never let him stay over, and it was something that ate him up inside. How close he could physically be with her, but still feel he couldn't quite reach her. They had had sex a few times, giving in to temptation and not being able to stop. Once, twice, three times. So far. Even when he had wanted more, even when he had wanted to stay, she had quickly made him leave her apartment afterward, kissing him sweetly but leading him firmly towards the door. Including the last time, when he had thought she had finally let loose and accepted them, and whatever they had, that she had finally acknowledged she wasn't any more invulnerable to their bond than he was.
But nothing had quite changed. Not really. They still flirted, they still got too close, even in front of everyone, he still was possessive of her. He went as far as tackling that disgusting perp nicknamed 'The Measuring Man' after he had tried to touch her. Olivia could have handled him herself, but he had seen red when he heard the man's crude remarks and his fingers had gotten curious.
She had thanked him after he had driven her home that night but reminded him she was a cop too. It had been on a quiet night after their second time together, and they had kissed briefly, ending when she had pulled away and all but ran inside her apartment. It was something that they did now each time he got to drive her home. They kissed. Sometimes just a peck, sometimes more, and sometimes, if it was late and they were yearning for each other, they petted like teenagers inside his car. It always ended with her pulling away and hiding her feelings by running inside. Her fear and denial, made him feel he had to work overtime for her. And he would. He would risk it all... for her, and would do so gladly.
He already was.
For the first time in his life, Elliot Stabler was being selfish, and it made him feel both trapped and free at the same time. He loved his children, and the comfort of their home they all shared. He cared about his wife, but he now knew it had never been love what he had felt for her. It pained him to realize that, after all the years they had together. He cared deeply about her and was forever going to be grateful for their four amazing children, but he didn't love her. Not like he loved her.
He loved her. He was in love with her.
Olivia.
It was only in the quiet, late moments when he felt like the whole world except him was asleep, that he could admit it. He was in love with Olivia Benson. And had been for quite some time. Having sex with her had only made it harder to ignore, he now craved and longed for her more than ever. Elliot wasn't stupid, he knew she was scared and apprehensive, she had let it slip once when they had been together. How hard she had tried to stop, and she continued to put up walls between them. He had to make a decision if he didn't want to lose her. Those were the things that kept him up at night. His constant struggle between what he wanted and what was right.
Elliot answered the phone and talked with Cragen in hushed tones. His Captain informed him he and his partner were needed at a crime scene. He quietly got out of bed after finishing the call, trying not to wake up Kathy, and gathered a change of clothes and shoes, dressing quickly inside the bathroom. He noticed how cold the house was as he made his way downstairs to the kitchen, and made a mental note to check if the thermostat was faulty. Answer
Olivia answered his call on the fifth ring and he could tell she had been sound asleep. Her voice was low and sleepy and he wished he was lying beside her, waking her up in person. He convinced Olivia to let him pick her up and they could drive together to the crime scene. Even half-asleep she seemed to enjoy explaining to him the errors of his ways, how unnecessary it was for him to drive to the station house all the way from Queens, leave his car, get the sedan and then pick her up when she could drive alone or get a cab, and then they could meet at the scene. He asked her to please wait for him, to take her time to get ready, and that he would be at her place in less than an hour, maybe even less with the lack of traffic at such an ungodly hour. She finally relented, telling him she was gonna jump in the shower and to call her when he was close and she would meet him downstairs.
The call was finished without either of them saying goodbye but he still grinned as he replayed their conversation and instantly, thoughts of Olivia naked and wet invaded his mind. He let them linger while he fixed his tie until he heard someone come up behind him.
Kathy. He hadn't been as quiet as he had thought.
"Was that Olivia?" She asked without preambles. Elliot hesitated for a second. She noticed it.
"Yeah. Yes, we caught a case. I gotta go." He leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek, grabbed his keys, and left before she started a conversation he didn't have the time or will to have.
Olivia let her phone drop beside her on the bed and sighed. She slowly got out and shivered as she made her way to the bathroom. It was a cold night and getting colder still. She had to remember to sleep in something else besides a tank top and panties in October.
The hot water felt good on her skin and helped her wake up. As she ran a soapy washcloth through her body, she noticed the faint marks that still prevailed on her hips. She felt herself becoming aroused as she recalled how they got there. Elliot. The last time they had been together had been the most meaningful one, she had let herself go and opened herself to feel everything she had wanted to feel with him.
She had wanted to ask him to stay overnight, to stay with her so they could lose themselves in each other's bodies over and over again, but she couldn't. She couldn't want him, couldn't need him like that. Not when he didn't belong to her. He had a family for God's sake! She never thought she would be the other woman, but she couldn't stop wanting him. She kept putting it off, but a change had to happen.
The case was tragic and they had only facts. A young girl from a model family had been murdered horribly. Her parents were destroyed and adamant to defend her honor. They had no clear leads. They also had to deal with a scum detective from Vice that was in dire need to retire. Olivia had been furious by his lack of respect and compassion while they stood over the victim's body, she had written down his name and badge number to report him if the need arose. He loved that about her, her endless passion towards the victims. Either dead or alive, she would champion them all.
They realized quickly there was more to the murder and spent the rest of the day interviewing possible witnesses and looking for an elusive victim that had escaped from a similar attack. Elliot's heart had broken when they had come across a young sex worker named Rose. She looked not a day older than 15. He had tried to call Children's Services to take her but Olivia made him keep his promise to not bust them. Not yet.
Tensions were running high and the case mixed with their personal lives. Elliot snapped at her when she made a comment about his daughters while they discussed what the victim was wearing the night of the crime. And how it was not an indication of anything. She had let it slide knowing he was wound tightly about Kathleen and the news she had dropped on him the day before.
Despite it all, the squad quickly established a pattern, and Elliot and Olivia found the only living victim. They tried to keep it casual at work, but he still couldn't keep his hands from lingering a few more seconds on her body as they recreated Lorinda's attack for the rest of the squad. And she didn't stop him. No matter how much they tried, they were slipping... Again.
Their hard work paid up when they discovered they were after one of their own. They were looking for a cop. Everyone had been shocked and Cragen quickly found the possible culprit, after a false start. Peter Ridley. The Captain got Benson and Stabler to dig as much as they could on the suspect, going as far as his childhood.
They had spent long hours in a spare interview room looking over files. The table was littered with empty styrofoam cups of coffee and food containers as well as old police files. They had settled on a new tactic to organize the reports and had started to narrow it down when Elliot's beeper reminded him he had to leave to kick soccer balls at Kathleen to help her practice her skills.
Olivia encouraged him and reminded him, for the second time, to try to get his daughter to talk with him and Kathy, and how much damage it could do if they didn't deal with it. He paused at the door as he heard her and loved her even more at that moment, for caring. She didn't have to. Any other woman would try to push him away from his family. He was deeply aware of how complicated their situation was, but the fact that she still cared about his children made his heart swell.
Elliot smiled, taking with him the last eggroll they had been sharing, and left her with instructions to not overwork herself and get some rest. She just smiled back at him and shook her head. He knew better, he knew she was not going home until she found a connection, something. He wanted to kiss her good night right there but restrained himself from doing so.
Olivia spent the night going over as many files as she could. She was pushing through with little food and bad coffee but it had still kept her alert. Once she had started connecting the dots and a clear pattern had emerged, she hadn't been able to stop but after her vision became blurry and her brain refused to cooperate, she decided to rest in the crib for just 30 minutes or an hour tops, and come back and review her findings with a clear head. She fell asleep fast on top of the covers and didn't even bother to remove her shoes.
Elliot arrived back at the station house the next morning a little after 6:00 am. He had practiced with Kathleen and had an awkward talk with her but got the point across. Or at least, he thought so. He had briefly discussed it with Kathy and had gone to bed early.
He had woken up early that morning, skipping breakfast, and he had made it to Manhattan in record time, beating the early morning traffic by half an hour.
The first thing he noticed after arriving at his desk, was Olivia's suit jacket draped over her desk chair. He had known all too well he would find her here, either coming in early or staying up all night. He had been leaning towards the latter after seeing the intense look on her face the night before while they worked together on Ridley's files.
He tried the most obvious place first and found her in the crib, he leaned against the door for a few seconds as he watched her sleep in the too-small bed.
"Olivia." He called softly. She didn't even stir. He walked over to the bed and slowly sat on the edge of the bed, his hand moved on its own accord and tenderly brushed his thumb over her cheek. "Liv." He whispered again as he placed a kiss on her forehead. "Wake up."
Her breathing changed and she slowly woke up and opened her eyes.
"Hey, sleepyhead." He smiled down at her. "Good morning." She looked and felt exactly as he had imagined a few nights before. Soft, warm, and incredibly beautiful with her tousled hair and sleepy eyes.
"Hi." She murmured smiling brightly up at him, still somewhat asleep. His heart clenched in his chest at the sight of her, and he bent down and kissed her softly on the lips. He pulled back to gauge her reaction and went back for more as she grasped the back of her neck and deepened the kiss.
"What time is it? What are you doing here?" She whispered after they parted for air. He couldn't keep his mouth off of her and continued placing tiny kisses all over her face as he made his way down to her neck.
"Too early for so many questions. I missed you." He mumbled, smiling against her skin. His teeth bit lightly on her skin and she whimpered.
"El, I'm serious." She was breathing rapidly already. Excited. It didn't take much with him. She already felt the moisture between her thighs. He pulled back and let her sit up, tucking her hair behind her ear as he wrapped his other arm around her waist. She stretched her back and he saw her wince.
"You okay?" He asked her, setting his hand on her back,
"Yeah. It's just these mattresses... I'm not sure they even qualify as mattresses." She sighed as he applied pressure and massaged her back.
"Want me to make you feel better?" He asked her in a low voice, leaning over her and slipping his hand inside her top. Her skin was as smooth as he remembered, hot against his calloused fingers. Olivia smiled at him again, but he could feel her building up her walls again as she became more alert.
"You still haven't answered my question." She told him, struggling to put some distance, but loving the feel of his hands on her skin.
"I had a feeling you wouldn't be going home and wanted to make sure you were alright." He explained, his hand never leaving her skin. "I have seen how focused you become when you go down one of your rabbit holes." Olivia listened to him, moaning when his hand worked over one particularly hard knot near her shoulder. They were sitting next to each other on the bed, facing opposite sides.
"I'm not sure how to feel about that." She chuckled and placed a hand on his shoulder and slowly trailed over the hard expanse of his chest.
"You should feel good." He reassured her. "It means you care. It means you are an amazing detective and good at your job." He stopped and looked at her for a moment before continuing. "And I am proud of you and how far you have come."
Olivia stared at him for a second before her hand reached up and pulled his face closer to hers. Her lips grasped his and what was meant to be a tender kiss turned quickly to a heated, desperate one. The things this man made her feel came as a shock to her. She had never such a passion, connection, and longing as she felt for her partner. She had missed him too, immensely. It scared how much she needed him sometimes. They hadn't been together in almost a week, and even though they had waited much longer the previous times, they both felt it was harder and harder to stay apart.
His hands gathered her top and started tugging it up.
"Not here." She whispered, pulling back from his lips, remembering where they were.
"Yes. Here." He grunted with conviction, claiming her mouth again.
"What if someone comes in?" She broke the kiss and objected half-heartedly, still raising her arms as he removed her top, baring her skin for him.
"No one's coming in. There's no one around yet, it's too early." He reassured her. He laid her back down on the bed and got on top of her, needing to feel her body against his. Olivia's breathing changed, already anticipating his touch, itching for it. He placed his left arm beside her head, supporting his weight as his right hand cupped one of her breasts and kneaded it softly. His mouth left her neck and joined his hand on her chest. He had missed her skin, her breasts. He had told her how obsessed he was with that part of her anatomy, how he could spend a whole afternoon between her warm tits, worshiping them -her- with his mouth and hands.
Elliot teased her nipples through the lace of her cream-colored bra and lowered one strap, pulling the cup back and revealing her tender flesh. His tongue flicked and teased the small bud until it became engorged and he bit it lightly, making her yelp. He took as much of her inside his mouth as he could, and began suckling on her nipple so intensively Olivia sobbed loudly in response, and he felt himself getting harder just listening to her.
"Elliot... Please..." She whined, trailing her fingers over the short hair on his head. He looked up at her, his mouth full of her. He suckled twice, hard, and released her nipple with a pop.
"Please, what, Liv? Do you want me to touch you?" He asked her in a low voice, working her up. "Want me to make you come?"
"Yeesss..." She hissed without missing a beat. His hand left her breast and moved down past her belly and down and down, towards where she most desired his touch. He wasted no time and started undoing the button of her dress pants and quickly slid his hand inside her pants and underwear, parting her folds with his long fingers.
"You wet for me?" He slid his finger inside her, testing her, and moved his lips back to hers to kiss and swallow her whimpers. He was pleased with what he found. "Yes, you are. So fucking wet." He began moving in and out, gathering her juices and spreading them over her clit as his thumb began circling around and around the little nub. "You don't know how hard my cock gets knowing it's me that makes you so wet. Knowing it's me who you want fucking you. God, Olivia..." She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him closer. He pushed a second finger inside.
"You, only you." She told him desperately and he increased the rhythm of his hand driving her closer and closer to the edge. He moved inside her a few more times and then stopped suddenly, withdrawing his fingers from her. She watched as he sucked his fingers into his mouth, licking them and tasting her, and felt a new rush of heat go through her followed by confusion when he then sat up and left the bed.
"What's wrong? Why did you stop?" She asked, bewildered and out of breath.
To him, she was the stuff dreams were made of, and couldn't help but stare at her when she was like this. He had done it before. All worked up, flushed, and half-naked and he was the lucky bastard who got to touch her. To fuck her.
He reached for her and helped her get up. His lips found hers once again and she moaned when she tasted herself on his tongue. It aroused her more than she would have ever thought.
"I need to be inside you, baby. Now." He grunted, stressing his urgency as his hands squeezed her ass possessively.
"You need to stop calling me 'baby'," Olivia told him, amused, working her mouth across his cheek and down his neck, biting and sucking on his earlobe.
"Why?" He asked her, pulling back and looking down at her. His hands clasped her ass harder, tugging her closer to him, pushing his erection against her pubis. "Does it make you horny?" He asked her, seductively. Olivia kissed him again. She was never going to tell him, but it did. She had always hated pet names, but on his lips, with that gravel-like voice he got when he was fucking her... she loved it, it excited her and made her wet.
"Get on your hands and knees." He whispered, turning her around. He felt his cock twitch when she moaned at his words.
Olivia quickly obliged, brushed her ass over his cock once, twice, and then walked to the bed lowers herself on it, on her hands and knees.
"Pull your pants down. Show me how ready you are for me." He demanded, already working on his belt buckle. It still surprised her how dirty he could get when they were together, but she wasn't gonna stop him. It added to the moment and she enjoyed the thrill. She lowered both her pants and her underwear to her knees at the same time and leaned back down, supporting her weight on her elbows, pushing her ass high in the air for him. The position not only gave him a great view of her ass but also of her now glistening pussy, just like he wanted.
"Fuck, you are dripping, Liv." He grunted, and the words were not even out of his mouth when she felt his tongue parting her folds and tasting her fully, drinking her juices and licking her clit before he pulled back just as fast. They had never had oral sex yet, but if that had been any indication of how it would feel, Olivia couldn't wait for more.
"El, please..." She pleaded. She turned her head around and looked at him. He had a smug look on his face and she closed her eyes as she felt the tip of his cock entering her slowly and quickly pulling out. He loved to make her beg, it reminded him she wanted it just as much.
"Let me see you. I want to see how you take me inside yourself." He groaned, standing still and allowing her to take the lead. She didn't hesitate and pushed back, letting him inside herself slowly, deeply, and all at once.
"Fuck, Liv!" He grunted and quickly took over.
The position granted him a new angle and new sensations, ones she had never experienced before. He was a big boy, and he felt even bigger as he took her from behind. It was a mixture of pain and pleasure, and the latter prevailed. She started moving again after a moment, but he stilled her hips.
"Move, El. Please, let me... We don't have much time." Her voice was desperate, both with her need for him and the rush of getting caught.
"Right now I don't give a fuck if someone walks through that door. I am gonna take my time with you." He grunted. He grasped her ass in both hands, and pulled out and slammed back in, making her cry out. "You feel so unbelievably good, Liv. So good." She cried out again as he picked up his pace and fucked harder into her. Olivia had started moaning and whimpering the minute he started moving inside her and she hadn't been able to stop.
Elliot faltered as he heard his cellphone ringing from his pants pocket which lay on the floor around his feet.
"Ignore it." He growled and picked up the pace slightly.
"Harder. Fuck me harder, El." She urged him, pushing back against him. The noises she made and the things she said were driving him insane with lust, as she always did. He loved how vocal and loud she was as she got closer to orgasm.
"Jesus, Olivia. I- " He was already being rougher than their previous times.
"HARDER!" She demanded. He pushed her head down on the bed, making her raise her hips and ass even higher in the air. He widened the stance of his legs, stilled her hips with his hands, and started fucking her with complete abandon. The sounds of their slick and sweaty skin slapping against each other filled the small room, along with her muffled moans and his whispered curses.
"Come for me Olivia, c'mon." He coaxed. "C'mon, baby." He continued and spanked her left ass cheek lightly, sliding his hand over it after to soothe the pain. He felt her clench her inner walls in response and he did it again. He didn't know how she was gonna react but was pleased to find she liked it. Being with her had released something from within him, a passion, an absolute freedom he had never had a chance to explore until now. He didn't have to think while he was in the throes of passion with her. Only feel.
He wrapped his right arm around her, moving his hand to her clit and rubbing furiously until he felt her gasp and tense. She came hard, he could feel it in the way she shook against him. He slowed down his movements until she loosened her grip on him, and he started moving again.
"You are so beautiful when you come. I can't get enough. I'm so close, Liv." He told her urgently.
She lay underneath him, on her knees, barely supporting herself, feeling boneless after her orgasm. Aware of what he was implying, she couldn't imagine not feeling his release deep inside her again.
"It's okay, El. Let go." He was already teetering on the edge and her words sent him right over it.
"Jesus fucking Christ, Olivia." He grunted as he spilled inside and felt her squeezing him dry. "That's it, take it all baby. Fuck!"
He half collapsed on top of her but quickly moved them both to they lay on their sides on the bed. Olivia gasped when he slipped out of her, and he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck and apologizing with a kiss.
They made quite the picture, both with their pants halfway down their legs, lying upside down on the too-small twin bed.
"That was incredible." He sighed, sated. Olivia turned around and kissed him softly.
"Well, don't get used to it." Her words shocked him and made him snap back from his afterglow.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked, surprised. The shrill of his cellphone interrupted her response.
"You better get that." She said instead.
He reluctantly released her and stood up, pulling his pants up and reaching inside his front pocket for his phone. He did not look at the caller ID before answering, instead, his eyes watched her as she composed herself and got dressed.
"Stabler." He croaked into the phone, still trying to catch his breath. "What? Calm down- What happened?" He yelled into the phone. Olivia looked curiously at him, grabbing her sleeveless top from the floor and putting it on. "Kathy, wait-" He glanced at Olivia and saw the exact moment her face crumbled.
'Of course, it's Kathy.' She thought to herself, he wasn't supposed to be in the squad room yet. He was supposed to be at home with his family, having breakfast with his children, with his wife. He wasn't supposed to be with her doing that.
"No, you didn't tell- Okay, fine. We'll talk later." Elliot hung up and stood there and could feel her already putting some distance between them. Still, he pushed: "You didn't answer my question. What did you mean by 'don't get used to it'?"
Olivia looked at him, feeling dirty and sticky and uncomfortable. "What did Kathy want?" She asked, ignoring his question.
"Don't change the subject." He replied sternly.
"It seemed urgent. Did something happen?" She was aware that she was being difficult, but the call had been like a bucket of cold water down her back, leaving her feeling stunned and uncomfortable.
"Olivia..." His tone was stern and he took a step towards her. The mood had changed drastically. She stared at him for a minute before replying.
"I meant... that." She explained, gesturing at the phone in his hand. "Don't get used to this..." She pointed at herself. "When there's still that." She ended with a sigh.
"Is that an ultimatum?" He felt like an asshole the minute he asked that question, but he panicked at the mere thought of losing her.
"No, it's not, Elliot. But think for a second how that makes me feel, think about the position I'm in. Fuck!" She ran a hand over her face and turned around, she couldn't face him. She looked at anything but him and noticed the blanket they had been laying on on the bed and the wet spot that now decorated it. She yanked it out of the mattress and threw it inside a hamper in the corner of the room. "You can be so fucking selfish sometimes." She was still a little wobbly on her feet from their early morning tryst and when she neared the door trying to storm out of the room, he quickly grabbed her arm and stopped her.
"Just wait for a minute, Olivia, please. Let's talk about it." She was about to reply when they both began to hear noises coming from downstairs, signifying the beginning of a new workday as the squad room started to fill.
"Let's not." She replied, determined. "Let's just get through the day, alright?" He released her arm and let her walk out of the room and saw her head to the bathroom to clean herself up. He smelt the scent of fresh coffee brewing and went downstairs. She exited the bathroom a few minutes later and found him waiting for her, a warm cup of coffee in his hand and an apology in his eyes.
"Hey." He muttered softly, handing her the cup.
A peace offering.
"Hey." Her voice was soft, somewhat regretful, but the tension was still there. She hummed as she took a sip of the warm liquid. She hadn't realized how much she needed it. Olivia began to head down the stairs with him close behind, easily falling into conversation.
"How late did you work last night?" He finally asked, concerned, noticing just how tired she was.
"Is it morning?" Her reply is meant as a joke, but she had truly lost track of time.
"What were you doing?" They reached the end of the stairs and he continued to walk beside her as she explained.
"Cross-referencing attacks on prostitutes with precincts where Ridley worked."
"How far did you go back?" He continued to ask, impressed.
"29, 30 years." She said proudly.
"Okay, what do you got for me?" Elliot asked smiling. Yeah, impressed.
"Take a look and tell me what you think." She always looked for his opinion. She was aware she was a good cop, a good detective and she had learned so much from him already. She didn't need his approval but wanted it all the same.
In the end, she had cracked the case. A 31-year-old case, almost all by herself. Proud didn't even begin to describe how he felt about her at that moment.
TBC
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End of this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it (and that I didn't make too many mistakes lol)
Please, let me know your thoughts and if you would like to read more from this universe. I'd appreciate it so much!