Ashes Ghost

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"She is a monster who isn't a monster. I could be her. I who am also you." - Three Steps on the Ladder of writing; Hèléne Cixous

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To be an "ultimate" is contrary to common belief not such a great thing to be. I'm fact, it brings its own loneliness and despair.

It meant in a a way we were untouchable. We, the students of Hope Peak Academy, masters of their own respective fields, we the ultimates, we're gods. No one dares to touch gods, but then again, there was little holy happening in these halls. We were all ultimates and in that, we were equal. But our pasts were available for public judgement.

"That's why no one likes you, you know? What did Maizono-Chan have to do to enroll here? She sang a few songs on stage. But you, you're the ultimate soldier. The ultimate killing machine. You're here, because you eliminated existences. You brought despair."

Junko once said to me when we both were accepted to Hope's peak.

She was right. It's hard to like someone you're afraid might kill you. And I was able to. Everyone knew.

"You're a thrill. A pretty boring one at that."

Junko's compliments always contained not so hidden insults. I loved my sister for them, they were the only times her words resembled something that one could mistake for kindness. My twin sister did mom know feelings like kindness or warmth, but she pretended well enough to lure you back in. But I knew kindness, even if it was mostly for her. I followed Junko in everything she did, performed every task given to me. Sometimes I played Junko, when Junko couldn't be bothered to be herself. All for her sake, never my own. I loved her so unconditionally, that the love itself was closer to obsession than love.

Like Junko I had my own delusions. The biggest one was her. Despite everything, I truly thought she and I were inseparable.

"Of course I love you.. but you get boring so fast, sister. If only you were a little bit interesting."

I did not care for despair the way Junko did. I didn't care about it at all. Apathy was a luxury I thought I could afford. Spoiler: I couldn't. No one can. It's not a luxury, it is death. A realization that came a little too late. But then again, it's always a little too late.

Aside from Junko, I cared for very little in the world. …that's not entirely true now, is it? The only salvation I got, was that Junko never knew about this one exception. It barely saved his life though. She would have had a field day, knowing I loved someone that wasn't her, solely so she could rip him out of my life.

He still ended up where Junko wanted him, in despair. Or at least ina situation that was despair inducing. It wasn't Junko's fault entirely. I am to blame just as well. It was my fault.

Naegi-kun…I saved his life that one day. He cannot remember it though, he can't remember me or the things we experienced say after day. I saved his life for what exactly? Just to put him back into danger, a danger I thought I had control over. I could have said no to her when she asked me to put her plan on motion. It wasn't like I didn't understand the situation I would help create, I knew all too well.

But he is alive. Junko and I are reduced to ashes and a ghost.

And although I'm the ghost and she's the ashes, it is her that haunts the world still.

I can't find peace until every last drop of her brand of madness and despair has been wiped clean from this world.

"Phuhuhuhuh… sister dearest, regrets in the afterlife? Who knew you'd have feelings?"

Even after death I have to endure her taunting laugh. She can laugh all she wants…one day the worlds will be freed and naegi-kun

will show the world that hope always beats despair. He has the power to change the world. He is the catalyst. And I'm the ghost watching over him. Naegi-Kun,it's too late for me to save you, but you don't need saving anymore, do you?

You'll rid the world of Junko's despair & I will do my part.

"Your part? Phuhuhu…sister dearest, your body ceases to exist. Who will remember you now? Who's still alive that remembers anything about you? Phuhuhuhu…. In the end you still didn't matter. What are you going to do? Nothing. That's what you're good at. Absolutely nothing."

"Maybe. Maybe I'm good for nothing but killing. I should have killed you…"

"As if you ever had it in you, you loyal dog."

"Fuck you."

"Phuhuhu, how adorable. Did you forget? You're nothing without me. Nothing!"

"You never know when to shut the fuck up, do you?"

"Ah, how sweet… she finally grew a back bone. Too sad, it's way too late."

"It's never too late. I will take you down with me to the deepest parts of hell & you will rot for all of eternity."

"Phuhuhu, I'll drag you down with me."

"If that's what it takes.."

She haunted me while I was alive, while I was still her sister. She was the devil in disguise, laughing and whispering in my ear. Begging me to be the executor of her wicked schemes with a smile that leeks her evilness and traps you into thinking it was love.

It wasn't love. I could have known love, if she would have let me…no, if I only took it.

She haunted me while I was alive and now, that she's joining me as a ghost in hell, I will haunt her, the way she did. Unrelenting, clawing and dragging. I will haunt her soul and drag her into the eternal despair she always desired.

I might be reduced to ashes,

But I will haunt you as a ghost.