Thank you all for reading. Here is chapter two. This is a flashback of one of those moments Rowyn was talking about last chapter. The flashback is set two years prior to the first chapter so the Pogues are around 15. Hope its okay I knew where I wanted it to go but putting it into words posed some problems. Anyway I know exactly what I want for the next chapter so hope you stick around.

As always comments and suggestions are helpful and welcome.

Flashback

I listened to the wind howling as I turned down the last table at The Wreck. The week had gone to shit the moment my dad showed after being gone for two weeks. After spouting the usual crap about being a disappointment and slutting around the south side all I wanted to do now that he was back on the mainland for however long was sleep. While he was here, I worked double shifts and picking up odd jobs at the beach shack teaching surf classes just to stay away from my house. I was tired emotionally and physically and was counting down the minutes until I could retreat to my empty house in figure 8, almost welcoming the empty space.

"Rowyn storms starting to pick why don't you head home." Ms Annie said as she closed up the register. Tossing the rag I was using to clean the table top over my shoulder I walked over to her leaning on the counter.

"Are you sure, I mean I can stay and help board up the windows." I stated.

"You have done more then enough this week, head home and get some rest." She smiled at me and I nodded dropping of the rag and taking my apron off hanging it in the back room. After saying my goodbyes to her and Mr. C i walked out of the resteraunt just as the rain went from a slight trickle to large drops falling at the angle of the wind. Throwing my sweatshirt over my head I squinted through the rain making my way to my jeep. As I opened the car door I could see a figure walking in the dark of the storm down the road. As the person got closer I could make out the blonde hair, unruley and wild in the wind and rain and knew instantly who the stranger was.

"JJ?" I called through the storm and he stopped a few feet from me, his hands in his pockets. He didn't move for some seconds after, im sure contemplating whether to ignore me or answer me. Shutting my car door again I stepped away further into the storm towards him raising my arm up to try and shield my eyes from the rain. "What the hell are you doing out here?"

"Nothing.. um just, just headed to the Chateau, figured I would crash there." He said. The moment I got close enough to make out his face he turned towards the coast avoiding eye contact with me.

"Your walking… to John B's?" I raise my eyebrow trying to move my head so I could look him in the eyes, but he was doing a good job avoiding me, "In this?" I gesture to the storm and all I got in response was a shrug. As he shrugged lightning flashed across the sky and even with him turned away from me I could make out red and purple along the jaw line.

"Holy Shit JJ, What the hell happened?" I asked taking another step closer. He set his jaw tight like he was putting up his walls against emotions he wasn't ready to let out. "JJ, look at me." I say quieter my finger reaching out to the side of his face, gently forcing him to look at me. When he finally let himself turn to me I was able to see the full extent of the injuries I had seen. His lip was split, there was a gash above his eyes and at the high point of his cheek bone. His left eye was already sporting a good bruise and the white of his eye was blood shot.

"Look its not big deal alright," he pulled away from me.

"Yeah like I believe that…"

"Its nothing that hasn't happened before, alright so just leave it alone." He exclaimed loudly. He ran a beat up hand through his hair and started to walk away again. Watching him walk away and back at my jeep I groaned to myself running to my jeep and turning it over. Pulling away I drove up him as he walked away rolling down the passanger window so I could talk to him.

"Get in the car JJ…" I almost demanded as the rain started to come down harder.

"Yeah right, I don't need your help." He responded almost hostile.

"Yeah I get that, but there is a tropical storm off the coast and there is no way you are walking to John Bs in this storm so get your ass in the car." I said forcefully, "You can go back to hating me tomorrow for all I care but just get in the car so we can both get out of this rain."

He looked to be struggling with the decision before he ran his hand through his hair once more almost annoyed before angrily opening the door and getting in the car. Rolling the window up and heading down the road towards my house. We didn't talk or even look at each other the entire trip, and it remained that way as we got out and ran inside the front door.

My house wasn't the biggest house on figure 8 but it was by no means small. As we walked in I noticed JJ staring around at the tall ceiling and large entry way. Ignoring the Tsk sound he made as his mind made assumptions of me by what he saw I took his hand an pulled him up the stair and into my room. Once inside I left him standing in the center of my room and went right to the bathroom and turned the shower on high.

"Look take a shower, warm yourself up and get cleaned up and when your out I will take a look at those cuts." I said avoiding his eyes.

"You don't have to…"

"Just take a damn shower Jay okay. It will make you feel better if anything okay." I interrupted him pointing to the bathroom. "I am going to see if I can find some old Tshirts and shorts of my dads you can borrow until your clothes dry." And without waiting for a response I left the room and went down the hall. Rummaging through my dads dresser I found myself on edge like I expected him to come in and catch me, even though the logical part of my brain was telling me there was no way he would be home tonight with this storm. Making my way back into my room JJ was no longer standing in the center of the room and the bathroom door was now closed. Knocking on the door I opened it slightly only enough that I could reach in and deposit the dry clothes on the counter top.

Exiting the bathroom I used the time to get myself changed from my wet clothes and into a clean, dry tank top and sweats that I rolled up to my knees. Moving to the vanity at the far wall I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a disaster of unruley curls and tangles. Pulling the hair tie from my wrist I pulled my hair high on my head into a loose messing pony tail before grabbing the first aid kit I kept hidden in the back of my closet and setting it on the bed. I listened to the shower running and through back to the marks I had seen on JJs face, and seeing the instant tough guy wall he put up not wanting anyone to see him weak. With a sigh I laid back on the bed and grabbed the book I had picked up from the used book store in town. As I turned the pages I listened as the water stopped and I heard movement on the other side of the door. I averted my eyes as he came out clad in my father shirt and old cargo shorts, that to be honest I hadn't seen him wear like ever. Running a towel through his hair I looked up at me and I could now clearly see the start of bruising on both sides of his face. Sighing I put the book down and patted the end of the bed.

Hesitantly he sat down and I grabbed the first aid pulling out a gauze pack and a alcohol bottle. Putting the gauze on the top of the bottle tipping it to get the liquid onto the cloth I placed the bottle on my night stand and moved closer to him. I noticed a slight flinch away as I got closer sitting up on my knees so I was level with his face. I raised my hand above the cut above his eye and let it hover over it trying to read his face as I contemplated whether I should be doing this. Taking a deep breath I lightly touched the cut hearing him suck in a harsh breath but not moving away. Using that as approval for my actions I continued to clean the area around the cut before placing a butterfly bandage over it and moving on to the cut on his cheek.

"I'm not going to ask what happened, why, or even who, because I doubt you would tell me." I say softly, "however I am going to say you don't have to be a tough guy all the time." He made a noise from his throat that was almost like he was trying to scoff at what I said.

"Look believe me or not, but I get it. You don't want the people closest to you to see you fall. You are the hot head, quick tempered friend that will stand up for all of them and the idea for them to think any less of you scares you." I put my hand down looking down at my own hands before continuing. "But trying to be fine all the time, proving your okay, it can take a toll. Im not saying it should be me, but you deserve to be open with someone where when your not okay, not fine you don't have to pretend. Just, we all care about you, John B, Kie, Pope…. Let one of them in so you don't have to feel alone while you handle shit that can overwhelm you." I wasn't really sure why I was trying with him… him and I were always at ends with each other between digs about my upraising and mine on his go with the flow high as a kite mentality, I never saw myself having a conversation like this with him, but in this moment he wasn't arrogant irritating JJ, he was defensive, confused, and emotionally confused.

Standing up I closed the first aid kit and grabbed his wet clothes from the bathroom. "I'm going to put these in the dryer." And before I could here him make a comment or snide remark over what I said I left the room and went down to out his clothes in the dryer. After starting the machine I went into the kitchen and pulled out a beer from the fridge popping the top and taking a large drink. JJ appeared from around the corner and I grabbed another beer sliding it across the counter to him. Catching it I watched him use his pocket knife to pop the top. I leaned forward on the counter focusing on the glass bottle in my hand fiddling with the label.

"I don't by the way…" he commented over the silence and I looked up at him. He was now on the other side of the counter as me jumping up so he was sitting on it. "Hate you I mean." Rolling my eyes I let a laugh exit my throat before turning my back to him taking another swig of the beer.

"You came out of nowhere, a kook coming down willingly into the cut to have fun…"

"Kie's a kook…"

"That's different." He shook his head.

"How?" I asked turning back around challenging him. "Tell me honestly, what have I done that makes it different?"

"Look your dad is like this hot shot lawyer…" he started and I put my hand up to stop him before finishing the rest of the beer and dropped it in the trash.

"Don't compare me to my dad…ever." I state malice oozing from my voice. Grabbing another beer from the fridge I walked away from him and down the hall into the spare study I had turned into my own personal hide away, filled with books, couch, TV and pool table, all items I purchased with my own money I earned.

"I didn't mean that in a bad way." JJ followed me into the room, whistling as he looked around the room.

"There is honestly no other way to mean it JJ."

"Whoa easy tiger, no need to bite my head off." He put up his hands in defense and I signed taking a deep breath before falling down onto the couch pinching the bridge of my nose. "What did I say that just set that off?"

"Nope… definitely not having that conversation with you." I shook my head.

"Why?"

"Okay, I will make a deal… you talk to me and maybe I will tell you." I smile. He raised his eyebrow and I could see him biting the inside of his cheek as he mentally struggled with something. "Wanna play?" I ask standing up pointing to the pool table grabbing two cues from the wall. He didn't say yes but he openly took the stick and watched me as I setup the balls.

"You break" I say leaning on the bookcase behind me putting chalk on the tip of the cue. I watched as he broke the triangle of balls. We played on the mood becoming lighter as the game continued. I found myself laughing as he tried to make trick shots and shooting back smack talk over sinking balls in the pockets.

"You little… pretty sure you just hustled me." He said. By then I had ditched the beer and pulled out some whiskey I kept hidden. Shrugging I looked at the table and eyed the final ball and its position to the pocket I wanted it to go in. Smiling I started to lean over the table lining my cue up with angle I was sure would sink the 8 ball.

"8 ball middle right." I called out. JJ was behind me and had gotten quiet as he watched. I made the shot and the ball hit is target. Turning with a shit-eating grin on my face I took his glass of whiskey and tipped it back letting the liquid burn down my throat.

"Nicely done" he clapped a genuine smile on his face. His eyes sparkled and it seemed the whole nightmare of earlier had disappeared. Making a fake bow I leaned the cue again the wall and went around to sit on the couch. We fell into silence again and I could see his wheels turning as his tried to figure out if he wanted to speak.

"Roe I have a question…" I looked at him with a curious raise of my eyebrow watching him move to sit on the other side of the couch. "If I ask will you be honest with me?"

"Depends on the question." I answer simply.

"That scar on your back shoulder…" I closed my eyes knowing where the question was going. "I've seen it when we've been out on the water, but I never put any thought to it until what you said upstairs. I have watched you reach and run your hand over it every time you start to feel anxious and… shit" he stopped himself and I could see him visually struggling with the question.

"You want to know how?" I asked his unasked question. He didn't respond but I could see in his eyes that I had hit the question dead on. With a deep breath I brought my right hand up running my finger over the jagged scar that ran along my back. "It was ricochet from a class tumbler the broke on wall behind me when I was twelve. It was meant to scare me more then anything, and to be honest it did."

"How often does he…"

"Depends on the day he's had. He has two side, he'll either use words and then ignore me or choose to use scare tactics." I answer, not really sure why all of a sudden I am spilling my guts to JJ Maybank, someone who has made a point to make me feel miserable when I am with the Pogues. "Between him blaming me for just about everything, telling me im worthless, its why I like to be in the cut, I can be free of him and his influence. I mean I dated Rafe Cameron because of him… honestly worst decision of my life."

That got a chuckle from JJ and I smiled looking back down at my hands.

"You and Rafe Cameron… I still cant believe." He shook his head a smile on his face. I liked his smile, I have seen him smile a lot but this, this was a genuine smile, one that reached his eyes.

"Yeah can we not re-live the last year." I groaned. I didn't want to bring the mood down but I also wanted to finish answering the question he had asked. "I don't want to owe him anything you know. I work at The Wreck, take odd jobs on the beach… I just want to make my own living so he can see I don't need him, and when I can get out I want to get the fuck out and not look back. I want him to see me leave and realize he doesn't have ahold of me." I took a deep breath feeling the water come to my eyes with a burning sensation and the last thing I wanted was to start crying. As focused on controlling my own emotions JJ was having his own battle with his own.

"He got fired." JJ said clearing his throat and I looked up at him seeing there was tears building in his eyes and I could see his internal struggle coming to the surface. "Honestly I was just there at the wrong time and he was so strung out, I tried to help but its like he flipped a switch and he went off on me. How it was because of me he got fired, that I was no good… shit. There are times I think I can handle it and then other… other I cant." With his final statement he closed his eyes and I saw the tears he fought so hard to keep at bay slide down his bruised cheek. Swallowing the lump in my throat I scooted over on the couch until I was right beside him. Looking down at his hand fiddling with the pocket of his shorts and reached my own hand over and interlocked my fingers with his. He looked up at me once I had made the physical connection with his hand and then in a quick instant he leaned forward and placed his head on my shoulder a sob letting loose. Quickly I wrapped my arms around him squeezing as tight as I felt he needed to know he was there.

After his admission we at together in comfortable silence just soaking up the feeling of having someone beside us that could understand the feelings. At some point we found ourselves on the floor of the game room. We had pulled pillows from the couch and he laid beside me as we just looked up at the ceiling talking about whatever popped into our head. I had closed my eyes feeling exhaustion coming over me and I also felt lighter knowing that JJ was there and safe.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask quietly wondering if he had fallen asleep. He hummed in response and I took it as indication to continue. "Let me take on the burden… When you need to escape… just before you lose yourself come to me and let me be that escape from what you want everyone to see."

I heard him roll onto his back and I made a point to keep my back to him so I didn't have to see the amused, annoyed, reaction he was giving me. It was so quiet I could hear the rain outside continue to fall and almost thought he had fallen asleep before he responded.

"One condition." He said. "When your dad… when your in that hole that he puts you in, you know figuratively don't try and deal with it alone, because your not you know." Rolling over I sat up on my elbow and stared at him scowling. "Oh don't even try and blow that shit off, I can see you shut down when it happens and now it makes sense why it does."

With a huff I laid back down biting my bottom lip. After mulling over what he said I turn over again and held up my hand pinky out. "Okay so safe place for both of us."

"Are we like 5?" he laughed

"Hey no one breaks a pinky promise, this is the only way I know you will keep your word." I pouted before smiling wiggling my pinky out waiting for him to curl his pinky with mine. When he finally did I couldn't help the grin let fill my face before laying down again closing my eyes feeling a weight lifted from my shoulders. "Great now get some sleep asshole."

I let the memory run through my mind as I made my way to The Wreck, after I stopped at my house, and through most of my shift. I caught myself a few times lost in thought or zoning out having had Kie bring me back to reality with a nudge when I needed it.

"Okay girl spill, why you so out of it?" She ask as we started to close up that night.

"Nothing…"

"Don't lie" She said quickly before I could deny it.

"I had to drop JJ off at his house… and it just brought up some old memories ya know." I signed taking JJ's hat off my head and running a hand through my hair before placing it backwards on my head again. "I worry, and I know I don't need to but I guess its just hard when I see what can happen."

"you know he's going to be fine right?" she said.

"Yeah I know."

"What is it with you two anyway?" she question a curious raise of her eyebrow implying more then a suggestion of a thought.

"We're friends that's it," I stated trying to sound convincing. She let out a loud 'HA' before turning around to the back room.

"You keep telling yourself that sweet heart." I scowled at her as she left my view but decided to just leave the conversation and finish my shift. Once I was done I said good bye to the Carrera's and started my trip home. Driving up to the front door I pulled my phone out seeing I already had an unread text from JJ waiting for me to read. Smiling to myself I kept my phone out as I headed up the steps to the front door unlocking and opening it opening the text message prepared to answer it. A deep throat clearing sound stopped me in my tracks and I looked up from the door way one hand on the door handle the other phone in hand.

In front of me stood a man, tall clad in a navy blue suit with a black tie, his hair slicked back, his cleanly shaven face formed into a permanent frown.

"Dad?"