I cant believe how much i have written in the last few days. Thank you all.
This chapter does have a bit of mentions of abuse so please be aware when reading.
Next chapter will bring in a bit of canon from the first season. As i said when i started this i may diverge from canon a bit to move the story line in a different direction. If you have any suggestions or ideas please let me know. I have certain things i want to use but i can always adjust certain things.
As always thanks for reading :)
I entered my house almost numb to everything around me. Locking the door I let my legs take me up the stairs. It was like my brain and body were disconnected. I couldn't come up with a straight thought, however my body knew what I needed. In my room I immediately went to the bathroom running the sink on cold and splashing the water over my face. Using the towel to dry myself I looked up in the mirror. The reflection of the girl in front of me was not one I had seen before. My hair that had started in a neat braid was now wild with hair having been pulled out. My cheeks were red and my eyes were bloodshot. I followed my features down to my neck where my heart sunk. There below my jaw was a small bruise forming and I instantly felt my stomach turn.
I barely had time to make it to the toilet before the food from my meal at The Wreck and the booze from the party made their angry entry back up. I continued emptying my stomach until all I was left with was dry heaves. As the blood finally stop rushing to my head my sense finally came back to me and I could feel my phone in my back pocket buzzing. With shaky hands I grabbed it and an image of JJ making a face that would usually make you smile appeared on the screen. I wasn't sure how much time had passed between my run home and my breakdown in the bathroom but I had missed calls from all of my friends and had several unopened texts. As my phone continued to buzz I felt a sudden rage over come me and I tossed the phone as hard as I could across the bathroom. It crumbled to the floor on the other side of the room, the buzzing stopping and the screen silent and black.
After a few more minutes I made my way from the floor of the bathroom into my bedroom pulling off the shorts and shirt I had worn, now covered in sand and dirt and threw them into the laundry bin before pulling on a long sleeve shirt I stole from the Chateau one night and a pair of sweats. Even in the heat of the summer I found myself shivering. Curling up on my bed I let the tears flow freely again.
"Roe open up its me." I heard someone outside my window tapping on the glass. I knew it was but I didn't know if I wanted to open the window, not after what happened that night. The tapping continued and I tried to tune it out, "Come on Rowyn open the window." It was almost a pleading tone. Going against my better judgement I rolled off the bed and went to the window pulling up the blinds. There he was crouched on the ledge of my roof. Releasing the lock on the window I opened the window.
"Go away JJ." I say sourly turning my back on him as I walked back to the end of my bed.
"What?" he was surprised by my commented.
"Go away." I say again but this time it was quieter and I sat down defeated on the bed putting my face in my hands.
"Yeah that's not going to happen." He said and he came up to sit beside me. "Hey Roe look at me are you…" his hand reached out and brushed my shoulder and I immediately flinched away jumping up.
"Don't." I said by voice breaking and I finally met his eyes. His bright blue ones were filled with concern, anger, fear, anxiety… there was so many emotions I could see in the one look he gave me that I started to feel overwhelmed. "What the hell were you thinking!"
"Huh?" my sudden outburst threw him but he didn't take long to recover. He stood up and made a step closer to me but I put my hand up to stop him.
"You could have killed him, do you have any idea how stupid that was?" I asked. At that moment my fear for him and concern for him outweighed all logical thought process.
"Stupid. That piece of shit was about to… If I hadn't got there." He pulled his hat of in irritation throwing it on the bed. His hands moved wildly as he recalled the scene that the beach. "Im not going to apologize for beating the shit out of."
"Do you realize what he could do now. What this could mean for you?" I about yelled running my hands through my hair. My mind was going wild on how Rafe would retaliate. What he would do to her friends, to JJ. He could make JJ's life a living hell and it would be all because of her.
"I don't care." He yelled back and I just stared at him shaking my head. "I don't care what happens because I am not going to sit back and watch that happen."
"I do! I care what happens to you. I care what Rafe will do to you. Im not going to watch you throw your life away for me, not when its not…"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence." He interrupted and his voice was dark, not angry but dangerous like I had hit a nerve. "If the end of that sentence has anything to do with your worth or importance, don't you dare." I stood with my mouth open ready to respond, but I didn't have a response I just stood there tears filling my eyes. He made three large strides and before I knew what was happening his arms were around me holding me tight to him. I couldn't help the sob that escaped my throat and the tears started to soak his shirt. At some point my legs gave out and he lowered us to the floor never releasing his hold on me. I sat there for God know show long with him whispering softly to me, running a hand through my hair.
"I'm sorry." I whisper having finally stopped bringing using the sleeve of my shirt to wipe my eyes.
"For what Roe?" he asked softly. Brushing a stray hair from my face.
"All of it… What I said, yelling at you, ruining the night…" A fresh set of tears start to fill my eyes and I groaned throwing my head back to hopefully keep them from falling.
"Hey." He placed both hands on either side of my face. I could feel his rings cold against my hot my cheeks and I took a shaky breath. "you don't apologize for something someone else did. You didn't do anything wrong okay." I closed my eyes letting out a choked sob and I felt him move my head down towards him again. We sat again in silence and I found myself starting to calm.
"Thank you JJ." I finally say. "For being here, getting there when you did… just Thanks." Sitting up finally ready to quit moping around.
"Im sorry I didn't get there sooner." He said quietly his thumb brushing the side of neck where the small mark was and I inwardly and a bit outwardly cringed.
"your not responsible for me you know, your not required to always watch me." I sighed pulling away from him. As soon as I was out of his embrace I instantly regretted it and wanted to just go back.
"No, your right and I know you can handle yourself but…" he paused running a hand through the chaos on his head. "if I can keep you from getting hurt, im gonna do what I can." With a defeated sigh I groaned standing up reaching a hand out to help him.
"Come on." I state releasing his hand heading to my door.
"Where to?" he asked.
"I basically lost my entire stomach contents when I got back here so right now I am hungry." I shrugged heading out the door and down to the kitchen. He followed me and made sure to be close enough to brush against my arm letting me know he was there. In the kitchen I pulled two bottles of water our handing him one and grabbing a bag of popcorn from the cabinet opening it and throwing it on the middle of the counter before jumping up to sit on the edge. I put a few pieces in my mouth and found myself zoning out again as my mind wandered to what happened.
"He you good?" he asked nudging my leg from his place leaning on the counter beside me.
"Um… Yeah." I cleared my throat nodding. "Just trying to process I guess."
Before he could respond there were several knocks on my front door. Scowling I jumped from the counter walking with JJ close behind to the door. Unlocking the latch I opened the door and almost immediately was taken into a hug. It took me a second to process who had there arms around me until they spoke.
"I am so sorry Roe." It was John B. I reached my hands up and gripped his shirt closing my eyes. It wasn't even a second after that that three other sets of arms joined the embrace all whispering to me and making me feel safe and protected.
As hard as that day was to remember, it was important because it showed me what these people, my people truly meant to me and where I stood with them. Sliding down to the floor letting my arms rest on my knees.
"I don't have much of a choice JJ." I said and I heard him let out a frustrated defeated breath. He made his way over to me and sat down. Out of habit I let my head fall onto his shoulder and could feel him relax under the pressure only slightly. "Until I can get out from under him and keep him from tearing down the world around him to get his way… I just have to go with the flow and make sure I come out the other side."
"I don't like it." He states bluntly and I let a laugh escape.
"Yeah you and me both." I nodded, "Only bonus is at least Sarah will be there. I just need to make sure I stick close to her and don't have any contact with Rafe and we should all survive the morning."
That next morning I woke with dread. Rolling over I grabbed my phone to see a text from JJ and Sarah.
The Maybank
Keep your head up. Call me later.
Kook Princess
I got you girl. We will just stick together today 😉
I let myself relax only a little seeing the messages. JJ had told John B and John B reached out to Sarah. They had my back and that's all I needed to move myself to get ready. I got ready quickly taking a shower and putting on a light aqua sundress. The dress came up above my knee and the thin straps sat neatly on my tanned shoulders. Looking in the mirror I decided if my dad wanted me to make a good impression I had to straighten the uncontrolled waves of hair. Once my hair was done I added the bear minimum in make up only putting lip gloss and mascara on before grabbing a light sweater before heading down to the foyer. My dad was standing in the center of the main entrance way working on a cuff link.
His eyes glanced over me and I waited for him to disapprove of my outfit but he simply turned and walked to the front door opening it and waiting for me to follow. The drive was quiet and I fidgeted with the small purse I carried holding my phone and the reaffirming texts from my friends. The valet came around the car and opened my door and I smiled thanking him. My dad came around the car and grabbed the crook of my elbow keeping me from going forward.
"Don't. Embarrass. Me." His voice was low and quiet so only I could hear him but the tone was very much a threat. Before I could make a response he led me up the steps of the country club and into the dining area. A hostess led us to our table where the Camerons were already seated. They stood as we approached. Ward Cameron walked around the table and reached his hand out to my dad shaking his hand before reaching to me wrapping me in his arms kissing my cheek.
"So happy you could join us." He greeted and I hugged him back with a smile.
"Thank you for having us, its nice to see you again." I said and gave a hug to Rose and Wheezie as well before walking to my seat next to Sarah who gave me a bright smile squeezing my hand. Reaching my chair another set of hands reach out to pull the chair out for me. I looked up and felt my heart skip for a second seeing Rafe there smile on his face. Stepping forward he gave me a hug and I tried to keep myself from tensing up but I knew my breathing hitched for a second.
"You look amazing." He said placing kiss on my cheek like his father had and it took every ounce of self control from wiping my cheek and slapping his face.
"Thank you, you clean up well." I complimented the words tasting like acid on my tongue. Sitting down he pushed my chair in before taking the seat on one side of me. This was going to be a long meal, I thought to myself and a hand intertwined with mine from the other side and I looked over at Sarah giving me a reassuring smile.
My relationship with Sarah got stronger as soon as we stranded her and Kie on Haywards boat last summer forcing them to reconcile their differences. Kie had been pissed, and rightfully so but it was necessary. John B really liked Sarah but he couldn't ignore that Kie was hurt by the relationship. It had worked out for the best and now Kie and Sarah were best friends once more and Sarah and I got closer especially with our similar distain for her brother. As conversation at the table picked up someone came by filling water glasses, making a point to put themselves between me and Rafe as they filled the glasses. Looking over at them my mouth fell open slightly. There standing in his black polo and cargo shorts, apron around his waist was JJ Maybank.
I had to force myself to look back at the table and I could feel Sarah's and squeeze mine. JJ was right there standing at our table talking with Ward Cameron about drinks. Just as my brain seemed to comprehend him being there I heard a laugh from behind me that sounded way to familiar. Turning Kie was sitting a few table back with her parents. Looking at Sarah I scowled, 'What the Fuck?' I mouthed and she just shrugged taking a sip from her glass.
As the day progressed the conversations continued. Ward and my father talking about a business transactions and legality on the items while Rafe interjected here and there. Sarah kept up a conversation with me including Wheezie in when she could. I kept track of JJ and Kie finding comfort in knowing they had by back. I was pulled from my thought when I felt a hand on my leg starting to move up my thigh. Without drawing attention to myself I quickly grabbed the hand gripping it tightly before stepping down hard on the foot beside me. Rafe made a choked sound but no one seemed to notice. Under the table I threw his hand back in his lap leaning over to him.
"Touch me again." I whispered leaning over so my lips were by his ear and the words I was saying couldn't be heard around the table. "and you will find my fork in a very unpleasant place."
"You wouldn't want to make a scene." He smirked his hand reaching to brush my shoulder.
"Wanna bet?" I shot at him turning so our eyes were locked. His hand hesitated on my shoulder before slowly moving back to the table. Letting out a slow breath I turned back to the table and my eyes met with my fathers. I don't know what he saw but by the look in his eyes he was not happy with whatever he may or may not have heard. The rest of the meal went off without a hitch and by the end we all stood to walk out of the club together. As I passed Kie I brushed lightly against her back as a thank you and made a glance back at JJ who was watching from the corner of his eye us leavings.
"Well Greg it was nice to see you again, and I look forward to working more on this." Ward stated as we waited for our cars to be brought around. He shook my fathers hand and then proceeded to hug me. "It was very nice to see you again Rowyn, come around any time."
"Thank you Mr. Cameron." I smile. The hug that followed was from Rafe and his hand on my back made my skin burn.
"I'll see you around." The tone of his voice brought chills down my back.
"See you around Rafe" I say back pulling away taking a step back. Sarah waved at me as she got into her car. Watching them drive off I finally let out a long breath that I and been keeping in. My dad didn't say a word to me the entire time we drove home and when we got to the house he walked in without a word to me. I almost relished in the quiet retreating to my room before he could change his mind about ignoring me. I stayed in the rest of the day texting the Pogues off and on. I got a few pictures of JJ and Pope surfing and a few of Sarah learning with John B. I wanted to be there more then anything, but right now with my dad home I couldn't risk the retaliation.
That night I came back into my room from reading in my game room to my bedroom full of Pogues. Staring at them in surprise I quickly went in and shut my door locking it.
"What the hell are you guys doing here?" I asked hugging John B and Kie.
"Figured we'd have our beach bonfire here." John B laughed.
"Yeah without the fire" JJ shrugged, and I smiled giving him a hug. Being with them was easy I forgot my dad was downstairs and the brunch I had that morning, it was light and fun. We kept our voices down but it was nice to laugh and let loose even if it was just a little bit.
"Wait so whats going on?" I asked a deck of cards in hand as we sat in a circle in the center of the floor.
"DCS said that if Uncle T. isn't there when they do their visit then I am done for." John B shrugged.
"So what are you going to do?" I questioned passing the cards out for a very childish came of go fish.
"No clue." He shook his head and I could see he really couldn't see a way out this time. I had been there when Big John went missing, hell I knew Big John, he was one of the first to welcome me to the old fish shack, knowing my dad he was always there with just a warm smile. It had been hard watching John B. go through his dads disappearance, and it had been hard watching everyone around him tell him he was dead.
"Rowyn!" my name was yelled from outside the room and I turned quickly to my door. Everyone in the room froze and looked from the door to me.
"Shit." I cursed tossing the cards on the floor and standing up. Unlocking my door I turned putting my fingers to my lips getting a nod from all of them I left the room. Heading down the stairs I noticed a suitcase by the door. Following the light into the kitchen I found my dad just finishing up a phone call. "you going somewhere?"
"There is a hurricane off the coast headed this direction. I need to get to the mainland before the ferry closes." I nodded following him as he left to the front door.
"You know how long?" I asked leaning against the banister of the staircase.
"As long as I need to be." He said shortly and I pursed my lips together nodding. "While I am gone I expect you to be smart about who you spend your time with." I chose not to respond but stand silently just waiting for him to walk out the door. "I have a call with Ward tomorrow morning, I will let him know that if you need anything you will reach out to him or Rafe."
"I don't need to reach out to Rafe dad." I rolled my eyes. The hand across my right cheek was unexpected and took me by surprise. I stared at my feet a hand slowly reaching up to the fire on the side of my face.
"You think that I care about what you need? This is about what is best for us and for this family. I expect you to live up to that and start acting like the daughter I expect you to be." My dad was uncomfortably close to me and I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes. "Its time you step up and grow up Rowyn I will not continue to allow you to bring me and my name what I work for down with your selfish attitude."
This wasn't the first time his hands been raised at me and to be fair it wouldn't be the last. He had two sides, it was either all verbal when it came to getting his point across or it was physical. The physical stuff rarely happened unless he was under a lot of stress, or in this case, if I decided to run my mouth. It never got to the point that I needed to go to a doctor it was really a slap here, or being pushed into a wall or the stairs. The worst it had ever really been was the glass tumbler that had shatter inches from my head giving me that all so memorable scar I now had on my shoulder.
"Keep the house clean and stay off the cut." He ended walking to the door picking up his suitcase. I stood there staring at the closed door still leaning on the banister my hand still lightly touching my cheek. I never cried over it, I knew it would do no good or solve anything.
"Hey…" a voice behind me startled me out of my thought and I turned to see JJ directly behind me.
"Hey." I smiled clearing my throat before moving back into the kitchen opening the fridge. Pulling out two six packs I set them on the counter before grabbing a bottle opener.
"Stop for a second." He closed the fridge for me and placed his hands on either side of my face his thumb brushing my red cheek. "Take a breath and take a minute okay."
"I'm fi…"
"I am the king at saying 'I'm fine' when I am not so don't bullshit me okay." He shook his head and my eyes met him. Butterflies swirled in my stomach as I got lost in the bright blue of them and my heart skipping a beat. My feelings for JJ had well surpassed friendship around the same time as the Kegger incident. I did my best to reign in my feelings trying to keep it as platonic as possible knowing the feelings weren't reciprocated, and the last thing I wanted was to lose the friendship we had lose the person I needed the most. But in moments like this when he was right there in front of me, his eyes soft, it was hard to focus.
"Okay." I closed my eyes taking a deep breath. "Silver lining though… he's at least going to be gone for a few days."
"Exactly which means its time to go drink a little, smoke a little, and have a good time!" He smiled lifting his arms up in triumph. I shook my head and laughed grabbing one of the six packs and he grabbed the other following me back up to my room. We walked in and three sets of eyes met mine.
"Everything okay?" Pope asked genuine concern laced in his voice.
"Yep." I said popping the p and then holding up the beer. "I come baring provisions. My dads gone for the next few days so we can officially enjoy ourselves."
The rest of the night went off without a hitch. We played card games, drank, started a fire in the backyard and just overall enjoyed each others presence. John B stepped off to the side sitting by himself on the porch swing. I left the fire to go and sit by him taking a place beside him pushing my legs to get the swing to start moving.
"You'll think of something ya know. This is your home they cant take you away from it." I make an effort to comfort him. "And who knows maybe this storm will work to your benefit."
"Yeah Maybe?" he nodded quietly and I could tell I wouldn't be getting more from him, so I just sat beside him putting my hand on his patting it slightly.
"We got you JB."