Once in a Lifetime (Mark 10:17-22)

"Woah! Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Simion, the gardener, asked as I jumped over his cart in my haste.

"Jesus of Nazareth is in town," I yell back without slowing.

He says something in response but I'm too far away to make it out.

I briefly greet the other servants and hired workers as I pass them on my way out. Some of them laugh. I'm sure I must be quite a sight. I dressed pretty hastily this morning. I didn't know that Jesus was in town until I heard one of our servant girls, Miriam, talking about him.

There's no way of predicting how long he will stay in one place so I didn't want to waste any time and risk missing my chance to meet him.

By the time I reach the synagogue it's noon. It looks to be about the usual amount of people present for this time of day. I feel my heart sink.

"Is Jesus of Nazareth still around, Sir?" I ask an older man –Who I don't recognize- by the gate, once I regain my breath.

"He just left," The man says. "If you head out swiftly on the east road, you should be able to catch him before he's out of town."

"Thank you, sir!" I exclaim, excitement rekindling.

I give him a quick bow, wheel about, and am once again running.

I'm almost to the edge of town when I come across the crowd of people. Several turn to look at me as I slow to a walk and join them. I press my hand into my side with a grimace, trying to sooth the stitch in my side, as I run my gaze over the group.

I spot Jesus quickly. Appearance wise he doesn't really stand out from the others, but all eyes are turned to him and there is something in his face and the way he holds himself that draws my attention.

"Rabbi Jesus?" I call once I have regained my breath and my side is no longer threatening to double me over in two.

The chatter stops and everyone turns to look at me.

"Yes?"

I hurry forward and lower myself to my knees before him. If I wasn't so red faced and sweaty from running all morning I might have blushed.

"Good Teacher," I say, just like I've rehearsed in my head. "What must I do to inherit eternal life?"

I look up at him eagerly.

He stares back at me almost pensively, eyes half hooded, and runs a hand over his beard.

"Why do you call me 'good'?" He asks. I blink caught a little off guard by the question. "No one but God is good." He continues before I can respond to this. "You know the commandments: 'Do no commit adultery,' 'Do not murder,' 'Do not steal,' 'Do not bear false witness,' 'Do not defraud,' 'Honor your father and mother.'"

"Teacher," I say, and a faint hint of warm pride stirs up in me. "All these things I have done from my youth."

Not only that but I sought to treat my servants well, to give more than I needed to tithe at the synagogue, to honor GOD in all ways… And yet…

It never felt like enough. All my life it felt like something was missing. I turned the scriptures over backwards and forwards trying to understand, but all I got was that quiet ache in my chest.

Jesus is watching me. There's a slight furrow to his brow, but his eyes are soft. He drops down to one knee and rests a hand on my shoulder. The rough skin of his palms snags on the soft fabric. His gaze holds mine. His eyes are a deep brown like the earth and feel somehow just as ancient.

"One thing you lack," He says. My heart is beating in my throat with anticipation. I know with certainty he is about to reveal the thing I have been searching for.

"Go your way," He continues. "Sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, and follow me."

I stare at him. My heart, which had been beating rapidly in excitement, seems to have fallen in my stomach.

"Everything?" I whisper.

Jesus nods.

"But…"

I've worked so hard to get to where I was. If I threw it all away now…

I'm shaking slightly. I pull away from Jesus a little more abruptly than I intend to and stand up. He stays where he is, one knee resting on the ground, and watches me. I look away and busy myself with brushing the dust off my own knees.

"I… I can't leave just now," I say in a shaking voice. "If I do my servants will have to find new masters and who will look after my parents…"

It just wasn't feasible. Jesus – who was from a carpenter's family from what I've heard- probably doesn't understand how complicated it is to manage as much land and people as I do. It isn't something you can just drop at will.

Somehow I can't quite bring myself to believe that.

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye and see that he is still kneeling there watching me. He seems almost sad now.

I swallow at the lump in my throat.

"I… I need to go," I say fishing around for an excuse. "I left rather quickly this morning and I need to…"

I trail off. I give Jesus a quick bow.

"It was an honor to meet you, sir."

I turn and began to walk quickly away.

Once I'm well away from the crowd I glance back.

Jesus is on his feet again, watching me go. I look away and hurry toward my home.

I know then, with absolute certainty that this event, this choice, will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Author Notes:

The Mark version of this story has always struck me because it state that "Jesus looked at him and loved him". I think he really was someone who was trying their hardest to be good, to do good, but we all have things that bind us and he couldn't cast them aside.

I wonder how he felt as he saw Jesus' life from afar and doubtless heard of his death. I've personally had a lot of things in my life that I've regretted (people I wish I'd kept up with, opportunities I've let slip by, words that I've let die in my throat), sometimes I think about them and wish I could go back and act differently, I can only imagine what it would have been like to have been offered something this big.