Ok readers... maybe two more chapters to go... tried pulling this together while working on other projects as a thank you for sticking with me and my long absence.

Mistakes are mine. Skins isn't.

marsupial is def mine in a BFF partner in crime way... though I co-opt her with her fam and world. Cause she's that awesome.

enjoy

"Naomi."

"Don't say it." They were in bed together after an amazing dinner followed by even better desert. She knew where this was headed as Effy had mentioned things that Naomi had purposely ignored. Even Emily had hinted at it but she hoped it was a passing thing. The reality of it all was maddening and confusing. "I just found you."

"I know... and I just found you. But I don't have me. I don't know who that is… who I am... I need to know before I can really give myself to you don't you think?" Naomi stayed quiet as she ran a hand up and down Emily's arm. She finally looked into those brown eyes.

"What if I don't think that? What if I think… no, I know who you are… what if I want you as you are... now..." She could hear the petulance in her voice and hated it. She understood what Emily wanted, no – needed. But she was being selfish and refusing to admit it to herself much less to anyone else, including Emily.

"Naomi. You deserve more. I'm not… whole." Emily knew this would be difficult. She'd discussed it with her therapist for over a month before bringing it up. And even then, she wasn't exactly sure she could do it. At least not until now when she started talking. "I deserve more." The words hung in the air like storm clouds on a summer day. They kissed slowly and made love without saying anything else.

Emily would be gone two weeks later.

Present Day…

Effy was typing away at her laptop in the office. She had only put on a towel after her shower and was answering emails when James came in. While he wasn't at all prudish, it still caused him to pause and admire the barest hint of her body.

"Hmm... office casual to a whole new level." He smiled as he could feel his deep attraction to Effy. He wondered if she could be persuaded to move away from the keyboard.

"It's my office. My casual."

"Not complaining." He came over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. He started rubbing them. He could feel the softness of her skin conditioned by her shower gel. "What corporate espionage are we breaking open today?" She smiled but didn't look at him, just kept typing away.

"A brother who married a non-national is skimming off the family fortune."

"Ohh... oh wait please don't tell me he's a Royal." James cringed expecting the worst.

"Relax... it's a company in Asia..." She smiled wider, looking up at him. He smiled and bent down placing a gentle kiss on her lips. This will never get old, he thought. She could never get over his love and obsession with the Royal family. A fact she'd not known until after they'd moved in together. They kissed again a little longer. She turned away to face the screen again. "Fetch me another cup would you?"

"Yes, m'lady... as you wish..." James bowed and headed to the kitchen. The place was quite larger than his first flat in the city with his sister. But it had been necessary. Effy wasn't used to really sharing and her flat had been much too small for both of them. She didn't take up a lot of room but they had decided early on that she would need space for herself. Not just for work but if she needed to focus on herself. He poured them each cups and headed back into the office, hoping she'd decided for even more casual than the towel. He stopped in the doorway as she was turned around in the chair with a serious expression. "What?"

"I got an email."

Naomi was on her final cool down on the treadmill. She'd run for about thirty minutes after doing some core exercises. Her earbuds were firmly in place and some alternative 90's band was playing some b-side track for her pleasure. She'd finally joined a gym after a fourth altercation with entitled male cat-callers on the London streets. Normally, she'd try her best to ignore them, but they had caught her on a bad day. She'd been cautioned by the police for the last time and sent to anger management by her employers.

The thought of anger management was preposterous but it was better than being unemployed or behind bars even if the fucker had deserved the broken nose. Her councilor had recommended exercise. Arduous and consistent exercise. She gave in and joined a mildly smelly, non-hipster fitness center that allowed her to disappear on the machines without so much as a side-eye from other attendees. After the treadmill signaled the end, she grabbed her keys and phone and headed to the locker room for a shower. Her mind was already back where it shouldn't be.

"You're asking me? Me?" James looked at her bewildered. Effy nodded. She'd only asked his opinion of how to broach the email with Naomi. He shivered at the thought. "Nope. She's your bff... you know her best." Effy was giving him a look. "She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you."

"She does." James knew he wasn't exactly her favorite. Then again, not many were. He often took comfort in that basic fact.

"Doesn't.. she's just..."

"Mean to me?"

"Well sometimes yes..." Effy gave in on that one. Naomi hadn't been too kind to James much. In the beginning, he'd been a reminder of what she'd lost, again. And later, after he and Effy started seeing each other, her criticism had been less than civil. "But you know she doesn't really mean it. It's her way of processing. I'd be more concerned if she ignored you completely. Now, I'm asking for your opinion."

"Nope... not gonna happen. I give you my opinion, you heed it… or even think about heeding it… and she finds out and then I'm at fault for whatever... mood it puts her in... and the probability that it's not a good mood is... yeah not giving you, my opinion."

"James..." He kept shaking his head. Effy undid the towel enough so he could see the tops of her breasts. She knew she wasn't playing fair, but she never did. James sighed.

"If you tell her about the email, she'll be pissy. Not much change from the regular." Effy raised her eyebrow at him. She wouldn't tolerate him being unkind about Naomi. "If you don't tell her and she finds out, she'll go nuclear." He shook his head as he knew he was a dead man in every way. "You... are evil..." Effy laughed.

"Yes... but in the best way." She dropped the towel. "And I'd already sent her a message letting her know to come by."

"So, asking me for my opinion was..." He felt his body react to her naked form. His temperature rose. Acting indignant was a stalling tactic even if both knew where they were headed.

"Fun torture?" She stood up and went to him. Her hand went to his cheek. "I need to keep you on your toes. And you need to keep stepping up."

"Told you I was lousy backup Ms. Stonem. That hasn't changed." He wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her and spoke against her lips. "I'll step up… just always keep your office… casual." He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

Naomi finished her shower and was dressing when her phone announced itself annoyingly. She knew from the tone that it was Effy. She picked it up and opened the text. Oh good. I'm being summoned. She groaned and knew she should have exercised more or used the punching bags in the rear of the facility. She'd woken up cranky and it didn't seem to be going away. She shoved the phone into her pocket, grabbed her bag, slammed the locker, and stormed out.

Her mind wandered as she drove to Effy's. She had thought about calling or texting, making up an excuse. But she couldn't come up with anything her mate would put up with. As it was, she was on a month-long break from work. It hadn't been a suggestion really. She was clutching the wheel hard enough to feel the ache in her fingers. Naomi blasted her horn at someone who cut her off. She'd almost pressed the pedal and gone around the offending car, but she couldn't afford to be reckless. She let off the gas and pulled over. She put the vehicle in park and put her head against the wheel, breathing shallow but fighting the emotions that rushed through her. She let out a scream that was somewhere between anger and pain.

Effy sighed as she heard the door slam shut and angry footsteps echoed through the flat. She was dressed and sitting in her office. Unfortunately, James had had a phone call from a mate shortly after they'd finished a quick dalliance. He'd run off to cover a mate at a home birth as his mate was in traffic. She wanted to be upset with him for running off but couldn't. She liked his line of work, his dedication. She never expected to be what they were. At first, she wondered if he wasn't too sweet for her. In reality, he was as equally naughty as he was sweet. Never malicious though. Effy figured that's what won her over.

There had been a knock at her door. She almost didn't bother with it. Two people had keys to her place – Naomi and Tony. One was at work and the other skiing. So the knock was likely from someone she didn't care to see. Whoever it was kept knocking. She turned in her chair and glared at the door as if willing for the person to disappear or at least make themselves known.

"Eff?" She shook her head and stood. She heard James calling out to her through the door. She wondered why he hadn't called. He'd not been a stranger while Emily had been gone the past six months, but normally he called ahead. "You in?" She reached the door and unlocked it. He was standing there looking a bit worse for wear.

"Forget to call?" She crossed her arms and looked at him up and down. He didn't even notice her demeanor. He simply stepped past her and took off his coat. He hung it up and made his way around the couch. Effy rolled her eyes and closed the door.

"Yeah… no… I left my phone in the cab. Didn't realize it 'til I was halfway up the stairs. Can I borrow your mobile? I need to call cab company."

"There's a lift." She headed to the kitchen. She grabbed a packet of biscuits out of the cupboard and started the kettle. She went to her office and grabbed her mobile. She took the biscuits and the phone to him.

"I was afraid of falling asleep standing in the lift." He had plopped on her couch face down. "Used my last bit of energy to climb the stairs. Good for me that." He turned on his side as he grabbed the phone and the biscuits. "Thanks." There was mostly silence as she tended to the tea and he talked trying to locate his phone. She brought two cups and handed him one. She sat on the same couch and blew on her cup.

"Rough birth?" He sometimes came over after those. Thankfully not too many. She realized he was a bit on the lonely side in the city. He had friends and had a good social life from what she knew. But he didn't connect deeply enough with many to talk about the downfall of his work. In a way, she felt happy he could talk to her.

"No… not so much really. Just long. She had twins. Thought we lost one." He sipped at his tea. "Turns out she was just a little shy. But she perked up."

"Brilliant then." She drank from her cup as he kicked off his shoes. "Get comfortable by all means." He laughed.

"Now don't offer something you can't handle. I get all comfortable, next thing you know I'm in briefs letting it all hang out." He let out another laugh. It was tinted with exhaustion but still good to hear.

"James… there's nothing you have I haven't seen." She delivered her words while hiding a smile. He was good company, a good distraction.

"O ye of little faith."

Effy choked on her tea and coughed. "What does that mean?" She could see his smile.

"Means you underestimate this specimen of manhood." He was being cheeky, hoping not to push his luck. Effy giggled at him.

"Specimen of manhood is it?" She shook her head and put her cup on the table. She cocked her head at him, really looking at him. It wasn't a completely foreign idea that he fancied her. It had been evident for a couple of years now. He was sporting a bit of scruff on his face. She reached over and took his cup out of his hands and placed it on the table next to hers. She took the liberty to straddle him. The look of utter bewilderment was satisfying. "You were saying something?"

"I was?" James gulped loudly. He could barely breathe. He stared at her open-mouthed. All thought was gone. "I don't… I can't remember." Effy laughed lightly, enjoying the red in his cheeks. Her hand grazed his face. Teasing. She looked in his eyes. She leaned into him. Her lips inches from his.

"Something about a specimen of manhood…" She was actually resisting from writhing against him. She didn't want to tease him. But her resistance was more about crossing a line. She'd grown fond of him, his antics, his character. He wasn't bad-looking either. She felt it then. "Oh."

"Oh… that… well um…" He blushed deeper as he felt himself reacting to her proximity. "It has a mind of its own… I ah… can only… apolo.." He couldn't finish his words as Effy kissed him.

She shook herself from the memory as Naomi walked into her office. "I'm sure my downstairs neighbors just love it when you stomp in like a petulant child."

"What the fuck Eff?" She was standing in the office doorway, sporting a scowl.

"And hello to you too darling." Effy turned in her chair and faced her mate. "You know... someday your face will freeze like that and it won't be pretty." Naomi made a dismissive noise. Their eyes locked on each other's. The silence rolled on.

"Where's the puppy?"

"He's not a puppy." Effy glared. She knew that picking on James was a deflection, but it was tiresome, at least when he wasn't there to blush or stutter at the unwanted criticism. And he was a bit like a puppy. "He's off delivering life into the world. What have you accomplished today?"

"I don't have time for this." She went to leave but turned back with fire in her eyes. "You texted me. You had information you wanted to share. So, either get on with it or..." She didn't finish her thought as it was an empty threat. She didn't have an 'or' to follow through with. She trudged to the empty chair and plopped down like a dejected child. "Is it Emily? Is she ok?"

"Her health has never been in question and you know that." Naomi shrugged obviously avoiding Effy's eyes now. Emily had kept in touch with James somewhat. She'd not phoned or made an attempt to visit but she'd sent postcards and an occasional email letting them know how she was faring. She had invited them to join her on a trip to Italy but they knew it was half-hearted and begged off. Effy hadn't gone into much detail about what Emily had been up to, not that Naomi had asked. She'd purposely not asked. Naomi wasn't angry and, was over feeling hurt. But she needed to close herself off for her sanity. It hadn't exactly worked but it was a defense tactic she was well versed in.

"So then?"

"If you're going to be a cunt about it..." She started turning back to her laptop.

"Fuck's sake Effy." She groaned and rubbed a hand over her face. "I'm not being... I didn't want... ugh..."

"So eloquent. Glad university wasn't wasted on you." Effy smiled. She delivered her news without inflection. "She's coming home."

"What?" Naomi stared at her surely wrong in what she'd said.

"She's..."

"I heard you..." She was thrown. Somewhere deep inside her she'd figured Emily would never come back. All of a sudden, she was chilled and warm at the same time. She bit her lip. "Fuck."

Emily had flown into Heathrow a couple of days before the date she'd told Effy and James. She didn't want a big to-do over her arrival and if she knew James, he would get balloons and banners. She was checked into the St. Pancras Renaissance. She loved the history and the architecture. It was lavish and totally foreign to where she had been staying during her travels. She's spent many nights in hostels, chain hotels and airbnb's whenever possible. She'd even managed to camp out under the stars in a couple of locations. Somewhere along the way, she'd begun writing not only about her past but also about her travels to accompany the many photos she had taken. It was cathartic.

She sat on the gigantic bed towel drying her hair. It was cut shorter than when she'd left. She wondered if Naomi would like it. She smiled at the thought of her. She had missed her. There hadn't been a day she hadn't thought about her, but she knew she had made the right decision in leaving. She needed to see what the world could offer her and what she could offer the world. She still wasn't sure what she would do for work, but she had given waitressing a go in a couple different places and it had worked for her. Her therapist agreed.

Calls with her therapist were a constant she'd kept up with all through her travels. Just because she had decided she could face the world and search for herself didn't mean that she could abandon her therapy. Not when it had proven to be a source of strength. She smiled at that. Her therapist would argue that she had the strength all along and that therapy had simply helped lift the veil.

Her travels hadn't been without its obstacles. She'd experienced moments of doubt, of grief. Fear. There were a fair amount of those. But with help, she'd caught her footing every time. The anger had come through as well. Such a deep rage. She hadn't understood it. Not at first. It felt like it had shown up overnight. She knew that wasn't the case. But it certainly felt it. With every bout of emotion, with every recalled memory, the anger had built. She realized that losing herself in nightclub music and lights, the anonymity of it did nothing to assuage her anger. It had helped with her fears. The anger, however, was a different beast altogether. She'd filled a dozen or so journals, carrying them with her. At least until her last destination. She had put them in a box and mailed them to herself at her brother's address. It wouldn't arrive until she had been there a week or so easily.

Emily snatched the remote and turned the television on. She hadn't really watched much but wanted to see what was going on locally. Eventually, she'd gotten annoyed with the political strife and went in search of a film. She settled on some simple-minded comedy and placed an order for room service. As she waited, she recalled her last stop.

Three months ago….

Emily had rented a car. Her driving skills were barely existent but they didn't need to be perfect. She had finally tracked down the place and gotten the address from the web. It hadn't occurred to her until she as in the last leg of her trip. Driving the Irish coastline was interesting. There was so much history in the buildings, the faces of its inhabitants. She knew a lot of the smaller places were done for tourist season, so she had lucked out with the rental cottage she had acquired just past Cork.

The village was called Courtmachsherry. She could see the appeal of settling down here. Not much fanfare. Beautiful view. With her stomach grumbling, she found a parking spot and managed to wrangle her economy vehicle into it. It was still crooked. Emily walked into the Lifeboat Inn and the smell of food hit her hard. A handsome barkeep greeted her from behind the bar and told her to choose whatever seat she wanted. She chose a seat by the windows. Her cottage wasn't too far from there. The menu had a few things she wouldn't mind trying out another day but for now she simply wanted their traditional fish and chips and a pint.

The food practically melted in her mouth. The waitress made small talk as she checked in on her. Emily was friendly and asked her about life here. The young woman offered what she figured was standard tourist lines at first. She warmed up a little and told her she had lived here her entire life and still lived with her parents. She joked that when she was younger she had wanted to have grand adventures but after a semester at a college far from home, she knew that she wanted to come back. After Emily was done, she paid for her meal with a sizable tip and headed to her cottage. It was easy enough to find.

Normally, the key could be left in the post box but she'd requested an in-person check-in. She pulled up in front and she could see him standing by the entrance. She would thank Effy profusely when she saw her again. Her talents knew no bounds. As she stepped out of the car, he looked over and shook his head. The grin was unmistakable.

"Fuck me lil'red. What the fuck are you doin'ere?"