One Thing
AvalonReeseFanFics
A/N: Well, here we are my wonderful readers! yet another instalment. We've got Rowan and Steve actually making some headway in the communication department, and we've found out what it is Rowan is looking for. I'm going to try to get the next chapter up in a week but I haven't written it yet, so it might be late! Please be patient with me! I'm so freaking busy! As always don't forget to leave a review or drop a fav or a follow and I'll see you guys soon... hopefully!
Chapter 24
Steve came home, knowing that his dad probably did what he had told him not to do, which was out his feelings for Rowan to her.
Yes he was in love with her, yes everyone could see that clear as freaking day, but it was up to him to tell her that. Not his dad. Even if it was true.
Because it was.
Very stupidly, Steve had realized that he was very much in love with her. It explained why he was so desperate for her, why he was so weak when it came to her. Why he couldn't get her out of his head.
His feelings, the ones he couldn't shake, they were real, and they were strong, and it was love.
Wo Fat was right, Steve had fallen in love with Rowan the very second he met her, he just didn't know it.
Well, now he did.
He had rushed home as soon as he was done with his case because he wanted to get ahead of the fallout of his dad's confession, but when he got there he found that there was a completely different issue.
Rowan was gone.
Now she had done this before, she had run off when he had her the last time but she always came back… or he could easily track her and bring her back. This time he wasn't so sure. He didn't know if Wo Fat had grabbed her to finish off the job, or if her brothers had sent someone to off her before she gave away their identities.
He did know that the Marquis was still in the garage and there were no reports of stolen cars from their neighbours in a ten mile radius. So she was on foot… maybe.
He also knew that she went missing after his dad had his talk with her. He had waved it off as he had only and very stupidly asked her what her intentions were now that she knew that Steve loved her.
Steve almost slapped him when he admitted he had spoken to her about it.
I'm your father he had said. I just wanted to be sure that she wasn't going to leave you again.
Except she had clearly gotten so overwhelmed that she had done just that. Left again.
"Well where did she go dad?" Steve cried.
"I don't know, Steven," his dad said patiently clearly frustrated with him.
"You were in the house. How did she just… leave?"
"I don't know Steven, one minute she was in the living room the next she's no where to be found. But I mean… she can't have gone far, right?"
Wrong.
Rowan was a runner.
Rowan could have gone anywhere.
He clearly had to call HPD and tell them to put a BOLO out of her.
But then that would get back to Danny and he'd be forced to admit to him and all the other Five-0s that Rowan had done exactly what they all had thought she was going to do when Steve announced that he had left Rowan home alone that day.
And he didn't want to.
He didn't want them to lecture him.
He didn't want their knowing stares and Danny's sassy I told you so.
"I can't believe you told her, what were you thinking?"
"I was thinking I needed to know what her plan was," John said. "I'm a concerned father, I have every right to question…"
"BUT SHE LIES!" Steve thundered. "She lies and she lies well! So even if she answered in a way that you found suitable, it doesn't mean that she was telling the truth!"
John sighed rolled his eyes heavenward and asked: "And you're sure this is the girl you have to be in love with? You couldn't go back to being in love with Catherine?"
Steve pinned him with a dry glare and John nodded, knowing that was his answer. Steve was very much a McGarrett, just like John was. And a McGarrett didn't just give his heart away, but when he did, it was a permanent thing. Sort of like how John hadn't ever remarried after losing the love of his life, his wife and Steven's mother all those years ago.
So he knew, even if he didn't approve, even if Rowan might not be the best person to take care of his heart, he knew that there was no just going back to Catherine.
"Things would have been fine if you hadn't fucking scared her away!"
John opened his mouth to probably say something like well if this scared her off isn't it better you know now? And he had a feeling that would be what dropped out of his dad's mouth because that was what Danny said when Steve had brought up his worries of this exact situation.
However, at the moment the front door opened and Rowan was coming in.
Steve was on her right away, him and John actually, both bombarding her with questions about where she had been, if she was okay and why she had run off.
She stared up at both of them, eyes wide clearly not expecting both of them to be home and coming at her like that, and there was a little bit of something else in her eyes. A redness that said she might have been crying.
His dad's interrogation had made her cry?
That's it.
They were moving out.
He was going to find an apartment, get them moved in tomorrow.
But that paused gave him a chance to look her over and he realized that she was different.
"What did you do?" he asked and Rowan, who had been in the process of lying to John about why she left turned to him. "Your hair… what did you do to your hair?"
"Oh, I dyed it," she said. And she had. It was now red with blond ends. "It's uhm… it's a red to blond balayage and uhm… I unno… I just wanted something new and… yeah… do you like it? Do you not think it looks good?"
She had something like these before too. When she had been arrested for the Louvre Heist no one could prove was her.
"No, no it looks good," he said and then cleared his throat. "This is a hair style you like then, huh?"
"Oh, yeah, makes me feel more confident."
He nodded and then turned to his dad who was just watching them talk. "Could you maybe… I unno… don't you have something to do? It's what five? You maybe want to go bed or something."
"I'm not that old," his father grumbled. "And I don't appreciate being told to leave in my own house…"
"Could you please, just come on," Steve said and his dad eventually meandered off, no doubt to the kitchen to pretend to not be listening in.
So when Steve turned back to Rowan who was heavily wincing, and lightly groaning in anticipation of what she assumed was going to be a lecture, he lowered his voice.
"Cool… uhm… just so I know why did you want to uhm… I mean you just left… after you promised you wouldn't. "
Rowan's wince depended "I'm sorry… I just… I needed… I needed fresh air, I just…" she lowered her voice and slid a little closer to him. "I had a talk with your dad and I… I unno it made me a little self-conscious and I guess… nervous and I thought the hair change would make me feel better but I know I shouldn't have run off… I was just… panicking."
Goddamn his dad and his stupid mouth.
"I know I should have told you, but I didn't know how to articulate how a new hair style would make me feel better and I was worried you'd say no…"
And his dad had told her he had feelings for her and she was clearly so panicked about that that she needed to run off. There was no way she could call him and be like: Your dad just told me you loved me and I'm freaking out about that and I'd like to go get my hair done. She was probably too embarrassed.
Probably because she didn't feel the same way.
And my god Steve was hoping that wasn't the case.
"No, no, I wouldn't have… thanks for coming back," he whispered, his own head angled down towards her, he couldn't help it he just always wanted to be close to her. "We should probably talk about what… what my dad said to you…"
"Could we not?" she asked and then side stepped him. "Also I made breakfast so someone else should make dinner."
She then walked towards the kitchen where John said he could whip up something quick and Steve was left at the standing at the door.
If his dad had ruined whatever was growing between he and Rowan he was going to lose his absolute shit.
H5O-H5O-H5O-H5O
When it came to bed time, Steve waited until Rowan was saying that she was going to go to bed and then he went too.
He waited for her to be ready for bed, waiting for her to be slipping into her own bed, before letting himself in and shutting the door behind him.
She was in the PJs she had had him buy the first time she had lived with him. This little pair of grey velour shorts and matching low necked shirt.
Last night he learned just how easy it was to pull that neck line down and bare her breast to his impatient mouth. But what he had liked even better, was that, after the amazing sex, she slept in one of his shirts, which meant all of her smelled like this intoxicating mix of both her and him as he had fallen asleep with his arms around her.
That shouldn't be what was on his mind at that moment, but it was.
He focused in on her face. On those blue eyes sparkling up at him, the way her glossy red and blonde hair was piled up on top of her head in this messy bun. Little tendrils were escaping the confines and falling down to frame her face a bit in this bewitching way.
"We need to talk," he said and Rowan sighed.
"I really don't want to, Steven."
"I know. But I know he told you and… I told him not to, I wanted to tell you myself, when I thought you were ready, when… when I was ready…"
"You're going to tell me you do love me," she said and something in him stilled. He didn't like how resigned she sounded. "I really wish you wouldn't."
Okay.
Definitely not what he expected.
"The truth is Steven is that you don't know me. You don't know the real me, who I really am and… when you do…. When you do you're not going to love me anymore. And that's going to hurt…"
"He told you that, didn't he?" he asked softly. "Wo Fat. He told you there was no way I'd love you for who you really are." She turned those hollowed eyes to him and he knew he was right. "Yeah, he mentioned that to me too."
"It's true though."
"It's not," he assured her. "You think I haven't figured you're more criminal then you let on, that you're a little more in the know of what your brothers are usually up to then anyone wants to admit? You think I haven't figured out about your violent tendencies or the self-defence Wo Fat taught you?"
"Steven…"
"No. I know you're right. I don't really know you, and I still need to get to know you. But the fact of the matter is that for what I know, which–lets be fair–is a lot, I… I'm sure I love you. Maybe I don't know everything I should know about your past, but that's fine. Because who you are, who you've shown me, the kind, sweet, albeit a little scary, girl is who I fell in love with. That girl who pretended to be a lot less smart then she actually was. The girl who took on an entire group of Yakuza when she was concussed because she wanted to protect her boyfriend…"
"Wait? What? Wo Fat said he did that…"
"And he did… he uh… finished them off," Steve said quickly because Wo Fat had said that he wasn't going to tell Rowan she had killed all of those people because she would feel like a monster if she did. Which proved that she had a conscience at the very least. "May my feelings change? Sure. But falling out of love with someone is always part of the risk when you fall in love in the first place."
She was looking at him, those eyes searching his face, trying to determine if he was lying or not. He just needed her to believe him.
"My dad never shouldn't have accosted you like that with my feelings, and I really wish I could have given you some major romantic reveal. I wish I could have told you when both of us were ready to hear it, but this is what we have and… it's true. For me. It doesn't have to be true for you, I'll be okay if it's not, but at least give me the chance to try and get you to feel it to? Can we do that? Can we give each other a chance?"
"But… I ran away today…"
"Yeah, I'm guessing that happens when you're overwhelmed?"
She nodded and he smiled.
"And all other times were Wo Fat taking you away?"
"Yes, I was going to meet him," she whispered. Well at least she was being honest with him.
"I…" she started and then fell off. "I don't want to leave again, but… I don't know… I might… I might have to…"
Steve's eyes narrowed. "Like… if Wo Fat comes back?"
"No, I mean… my brothers… they… I unno… they might… they might decide to not be mad at me and want me back… they've done it before and… I unno, my past, sometimes it likes to resurface and I have to uhm…"
"I get it," Steve said. "How about this, if it's your past, you tell me right away and I'll help get you away from whatever has resurfaced to get you. If it's your brothers… well… tell me too. Maybe me and your brothers can come up with a deal."
"You'd make a deal with my brothers?"
"Sure. Maybe they'll be okay with sharing you," he said with a shrug. "But unless you communicate I won't know… you know?" She nodded emphatically and he found himself both smiling again and moving a little closer to her. "So you can do that? You can communicate with me?"
Rowan nodded again and that smile turned into more a playful smirk.
"So now that that's settled, can I kiss you again?"
A large grin broke out on Rowan's face. "I thought you'd never ask!"
He leaned forward right away, closing the distance between them, framing her face in his hands and kissing her quickly. Within seconds she had him down on her bed, her hands disappearing under his shirt, and then heading towards his belt.
Steve was in the process of pulling those soft PJ pants off of her so he could get to the molten liquid center of her, completely lost in his need to have her again.
So she hadn't said she felt the same way, but he could tell that she wanted to stay with him, she was willing to give themselves a chance.
He was on the right track and that was all that mattered.
H5O-H5O-H5O-H5O
Normally when Steven's arms were around her, Rowan dreamed of normal things.
Visions of the future didn't plague her and worries didn't creep into her dreams. She could sleep peacefully. It was like he was a shield, and so long as his arms were around her she was safe from the void and it's visions.
But that night something snuck through.
A little bit a knowing, a little secret that, up until that point, had been hard to pin down was sudden clear in her mind.
She finally knew where it was.
Rowan had bolted up in bed with a gasp, which had woken up Steven. Right away he had been propped up, a hand up on her shoulder asking her if she was okay. His body taunt with anticipation, ready to protect her from whatever it was that had scared her.
And of course, she lied.
A nightmare, she had told him. It was just a nightmare.
Steve had softened immediately. He pulled her back down to that bed, wrapped her back up and told her that she was okay, that he was there, and whatever it was that nightmare had been about couldn't hurt her anymore.
And her stupid heart fluttered.
He pressed kisses, first to her cheek, then her temple, then once she was settled, pillowed against his chest, he pressed kisses to her neck, to her shoulders, before sighing into her hair and falling back to sleep.
Rowan should have fallen asleep as well, but she was wide awake. Now that she knew where it was, she wanted to go and get it then and there but she couldn't alert either McGarrett who were both very light sleepers.
She had to wait until they left the following morning.
Steve had actually trusted her again, which was shocking, because she didn't think she deserved it and she thought she was going to have to fight him on it. But no, he kissed her good-bye, headed to work, and told his dad that he didn't have to stay and watch her, which was good because he was heading over to Keoki's to finish up that treehouse.
Apparently it was a very ambitious project.
The second both men were gone, Rowan rushed to the office space with a screw driver she stole out of John's red toolbox. It was exactly where the feeling had been the strongest, right in the doorway between the office and the living room.
It just wasn't in the walls like she thought.
Kneeling down she pried the hard wood panel up. The squeaky floorboard had been completely ignored by her every time she walked through this place. She figured it was just a typical characteristic of an old house, a loose floorboard that squeaked. If only she had known that it was practically screaming the location of her quarry at her.
She got the board up, and reached down into the dusty shadowy expanse underneath until her fingers brushed against smooth cold metallic.
She pulled the long forgotten lock box out from it's hiding place with a smile on her face. The second her fingers had touched it she knew the code, no need to break into this one. She simply spun the numbers on the dial to the right ones loving that thick click that signified it had opened.
The box was a treasure trove. Filled to the brim with the precious memories of a spy, pictures of her children, of Ro's older brother when he was little, and a notebook, a diary of her most inner of thoughts.
But Ro didn't give a shit about any of that stuff.
What she cared about, what she was looking for was the little roll of film.
It was called a microfiche.
The first time she dreamed of it she had asked Wo Fat what it was. She didn't have the right name for it, of course, so he was very, very confused.
Do spies have tiny fish?
The answer was no. So why had she been dreaming about spies and their little fish filled with information? Wo Fat, who had still been working on believing her and her vision dreams had been highly unimpressed.
She dreamed of that stupid roll of film for four months, and for four months she tried to explain what it was she was looking for. Finally he had asked her to describe it and when he realized what it was he had been just as livid as she was frustrated.
Microfiche, you idiot. Not tiny fish. That's a microfiche!
This was all of Shelburne's spy secrets, the whole file she was using to keep the CIA off of her back, because she knew too much, they had made her do too much and she had kept a ledger of every op she had ever been on. If they wanted to find Shelburne, this was what they were going to have to use to flush her out.
Rowan had been looking for it this whole time and now, she finally had it.
But that excitement was short lived because having it meant leaving.
That had always been the plan. Find it, leave, use it to get Shelburne to come to them.
Except… now Rowan didn't want to leave.
She wanted to stay with Steven, she didn't want to go back to an empty bed, or curling up into her brother's side when her nightmares kept her up. She wanted Steven's arms around her as she fell asleep, she wanted to always wake up feeling warm, safe and secure, and she never wanted to stop smelling like him.
But her brother had been clear. If Steven found out who she really was, he'd never stay with her, and she was afraid that he'd be right. And if he was right, she wasn't sure her heart could handle a blow like that.
So Rowan sat there, the microfiche in her hand, knowing she should have called her brother for extraction, and not being able to bring herself to go get that burner phone she had hidden in her room to do it. She wasn't sure what it was she was going to do next, but she had a feeling she was going to go off plan.
God, Wo Fat was going to be furious when he found out.