Prompt: Hi! I love your hayffie fics! You're very talented :) I don't know if you still take prompts? If you do... could you maybe write about Effie practicing or doing some makeup on Haymitch? I think that would be v funny to read.

Teal Is Not Your Color

Haymitch didn't want to think he had passed out but it was likely he had passed out. Or maybe he had fallen asleep. Whatever it had been, it hadn't lasted long enough for him to sober up because when the tickling sensation on his eyelids dragged him back to the land of the livings, he was still pretty much wasted. And there was a weight on his thighs that should probably have alarmed him because he was pinned down to the mattress under him but he didn't mind it so much since it was pressing down on his groin and… Yeah… There were worse ways to wake up…

Plus, even though the haze of liquor, the weight was familiar.

"The fuck you're doing?" he slurred.

"Don't open your eyes! It's not dry! You'll ruin it!" Effie warned and then dissolved into undignified giggles.

Tequila, he remembered belatedly. There was an empty bottle of tequila somewhere in the room… It had rolled under her dresser…

She blew on his right eyelid softly and his hands shot to her waist because that felt strangely erotic…

"I'm gonna fuck you…" he decided.

He opened his eyes despite her instructions and was faced with her slightly annoyed pout. Her wig was slipping to the side, revealing the reddish blond hair underneath, and her dress was pooling at the waist but if she was concerned about having her tits bared, it didn't show. He didn't remember at which point they had tried – and apparently failed – to get her out of her clothes but it seemed like a good idea to him.

He wasn't wearing much either. He still had his boxers and socks on but that was it.

"I'm almost done…" she promised, bopping his nose. Her speech was a bit slurred too and her blue eyes looked glassy. Oh, she was wasted alright…

"Done with what?" he mumbled, lifting a hand off her waist to wipe his face.

She caught it before he could make contact. "Don't! You never rub your make up, Haymitch. Never. I should whack your hand. Naughty, naughty man."

He blinked at her. "You'd whack my hand 'cause I touched my face?"

She shrugged and turned her attention to something next to him. There was a shit ton of stuff scattered on the bed with them, he realized, a shit ton of alarmingly colorful sparkly stuff.

"That's what Mother used to do when I was little." she explained. "That's how she taught me not to ruin my make-up."

That sounded shitty but he didn't have the clarity he needed to really process that information. Maybe he if he remembered when he sobered up…

For now, he had more urgent concerns. Like the breasts that were so close to his mouth… He lifted his head to suck on her nipple. She laughed.

"It tickles!" she protested and guided his head back down to the mattress. "And I need you to stay still… I'm almost done…"

She had said that before, hadn't she?

"What are you doing?" he asked again, with a small frown.

She lifted a tube of… lipstick?... triumphantly in the air. "Perfect color for you. Blood Cherry."

His frown deepened. "Cherries don't have blood…"

But before he could argue his point further, she pinched his face by digging a thumb into one cheek and her fingers in the others so his mouth was forced open into a O. And then she started painting his lips with her lipstick tube.

His brain was slow and by the time he worked out that she was actually putting lipstick on him, she had capped it shut and was beaming down at him. "You are so pretty! Look!"

She bent over him to rummage into the clutter over his head and eventually sat back straight with an ornate hand-mirror. It took him a few minutes to process that the reflection on the glass was… him.

She had put powder on his face, the slightly sparkly dark kind that she forced on him before every photoshoot and TV interview – he didn't like prep teams – and it made his features looked different, sharper. His eyes were lined in dark blue that stretched to his temples into spirals. His eyelids were painted yellow and teal. His mouth was red.

All he was missing was a red nose and he could have paraded as a clown. "The fuck…"

Effie was still beaming. "All pretty…"

"Pretty?" he scoffed, the sight sobering him up a little.

"You don't like it?" She sounded small suddenly, small and upset and… Her lips were wobbling. They had been red at some point but they must have kissed her lipstick away because they were just reddish now, traces of make-up visible but slightly erased…

There was something he was forgetting…

Something important…

Something about Effie Trinket and tequila and how she handled drinking that much alcohol…

"You don't think I did a good job?" she whispered, her blue eyes filling up with tears.

He didn't like that.

The tears.

He cupped her cheek, unable to find the words to make them stop, unable to even understand why she was so upset all of a sudden… His thumb ran on her wobbly bottom lip…

"You're pretty." he muttered clumsily. She seemed torn, as if it wasn't what she had been after, but she didn't look like she was about to cry anymore and that was good, so he lifted his head and started kissing her chest. "So pretty… Prettiest girl in the world…"

He forgot he was trying to comfort her once his mouth found her soft skin. He didn't care for much aside for her breasts, her neck and, once he made his way up to them, her lips. She let out those keening noises he liked so much and he rolled her under him, crushing her make-up stuff under their bodies.

It was clumsy and it took him five attempts to get inside her – that made her laugh and he should have been vexed but he found himself chuckling along with her instead – and then it was over quickly because he couldn't make it last. He didn't know if she came or not and he wasn't in any state to wonder. She didn't seem to mind either way, she curled up on top of him once he was done, her dress still bundled around her waist, and she fell asleep like a content cat.

A voice in the back of his mind reminded him he needed to leave before he drifted off but he was too tired and too drunk and he didn't fucking care to leave. Plus, she was heavy on top of him and he didn't have the energy to move her.

He woke up hours later to the sound of running water.

Or maybe not water because the bathroom door had been pushed but not closed and he heard the toilet flush not long after. Weird that she hadn't closed the door, he thought, because she hated it when he tried to pee in front of her. Something was digging into his lower back and he fished a tube of lipstick from under his body. He studied it for a while, vaguely listening to the sound of actual water running in the sink… Then he tossed it aside and resolutely ignored the amount of make-up stuff that was scattered on the bed around him.

Her white sheets were creased – which wasn't entirely a surprise when he woke up in her bed with no clear memory of the evening – and stained. Probably because of the make-up.

Effie shuffled back into the bedroom without any ounce of her usual grace and flopped back down on the bed with a groan. She grabbed an eyeshadow pallet that had seen better days and flung it aside so she could curl back up under the sheets.

"The fuck did we drink?" she grumbled.

It made his lips twitch with amusement. He was too used to drinking to really suffer from headaches in the morning anymore – although it didn't mean he felt fresh himself – and she always had the worst hangovers he had ever seen. The fact that she was that vulgar first thing told him everything about the kind of day she was going to have.

"Tequila." he mumbled, his voice rough from sleep. "I think."

She tried to snuggle against his side but he move away with a groan, crawling over her to get out of bed before he could lose the courage. His bladder was killing him but remaining in her warm bed was far more tempting than venturing to the bathroom.

"Come back after." she grumbled. "I still have questions."

"You always have fucking questions." he mumbled under his breath. He did his business and turned to the sink to wash his hands and maybe splash some water on his face… And then he actually caught sight of his face.

He blinked at the mess of smudged eyeliner on his cheeks and temples, at the vivid eyeshadow and the red lipstick on his mouth…

"Effie." he barked more than he called.

She let out a pitiful moan from her bed.

"Don't shout!" she growled.

"Effie, what the fuck?" he asked, stepping out of the bathroom. He waved at his face. "The fuck did you do to me?"

She lifted the sheets she had tossed over her head only long enough to take a peek at him and then dropped them back with a groan. "I wondered by there was so much make-up in my bed… I will be very angry about that later. You ruined everything."

"I ruined everything?" he scoffed, snatching the sheets from her grip and pulling them back. "I ain't the one who did this."

"How could you possibly remember that?" she huffed, trying to steal the sheets back. "I barely remember my own name. Stop this! I am cold!" She hissed that last part and, with a powerful tug, won the war for the sheets. "Come back to bed and warm me up or leave. You are so annoying, I swear…"

She disappeared back under the sheets. He watched her wriggled under the stained silk and supposed she was getting rid of the dress bunched around her waist. He wasn't sure how they hadn't gotten it off sooner given that he was naked save for his socks.

He was very tempted to go back to his own room and scrub his face until all that ridiculous make-up was off.

But he was a bit cold and she was very naked and since he was too there was always the possibility he could get sex he would actually remember an hour or so from then, so… With a string of obscene curses, he climbed back into bed and joined her in her hide-out under the sheets. It had the benefit of dimming the harsh sunlight spilling from the window. He spooned her and hissed when she pressed her feet to his shins.

"Are we supposed to be somewhere this morning?" she asked.

"What do I know?" he snorted. "You're the one who deals with the schedule."

He didn't think so though. Twelve was out of the Games and it was too early for the losing Districts interviews… They would have to make a public appearance at some point that day but… He didn't think they really needed to get out of bed before that night's party and that was hours away.

"Well… If we are needed, they will call." she hummed. "And you will tell them I have the flu."

"I'm gonna tell them you're puking your guts out 'cause you drank a whole bottle of tequila by yourself." he mocked.

She was silent a moment. "Did I?"

"Nah…" he dismissed. "I helped." He wrinkled his nose. "We were pretty wasted though… Don't remember much."

"We had sex." she commented. "I don't remember but it was obvious when I woke up. For obvious reason and because I am covered in Blood Cherry lipstick."

She didn't sound that bothered by the fact she didn't remember so he shrugged.

"Can't really remember either but, yeah, we did." He let his hand wander up her arm, down her collarbone, on her breast… "I'm sure it was…"

She grabbed his fingers before he could flick her nipple. "I am not in any state to do that right now. You will have to wait at least an hour and perhaps get me a gallon of water first."

"So bossy…" He sighed, relocating his hand to her hip. "Why the fuck did you paint my face?"

"I honestly have no clue." she offered. "But if it's any consolation I will have to replace my entire make-up stock, it seems like. Like I said, I will be angry about that later."

He snorted against her nape and closed his eyes. If she didn't want to fuck, they could at least squeeze some more hours of sleep out of it.

"Haymitch?" she hummed, a hint of teasing in her voice. "I am not sure teal is quite your shade… Next time you should try pink on your eyes…"

She squealed when he poked her in the stomach in retribution.

It turned to other sort of noises when he poked her elsewhere though…

Well, last week he was wearing woman underwear, this week he has the make-up... Who knows what next week will bring XD

I liked torched hayffie, they're a lot less difficult to deal with. I hope you enjoyed this story! Let me know!