Miscommunication

"I think we should do it."

"Wish fulfillment. You just want to act on your own desires."

"That's - that's not true! I think it would be good for you. Good for your health. I'm still...I'm still worried about you. Besides, I've already told you, I'm not supposed to."

Sasuke shook his head as he stood with his arms crossed over his chest, faintest hint of a smile at the corner of his lips as he looked at her. "Hinata, you won't let this go will you?"

"No," she said wistfully, looking out at what remained of the dilapidated little onsen. "We wouldn't have to repair the buildings at first, just some of the chutes, see?" She pointed to the remnants of the ducts, pipes and shunts that allowed the hot water from the springs to be directed into various locations.

Sasuke sighed and looked in the direction she was indicating. The buildings housing the remains of the indoor baths would definitely have to wait for more hands to be available for their restoration. But Hinata was right, with a few simple repairs the chutes could be re-established to fill the outdoor pools. At a minimum they could certainly repair one chute and clear one lower pool where the vegetation had overtaken it since it was no longer filled with the hot water from the springs. And the view from the lower pool would be pleasant - looking out over the forest across the bend in the larger stream that fed the river.

"Why is this so important to you?" he asked, his arms still crossed as he stood studying her in the evening's lowering light. They had been back for five days now and it was the third time she had brought it up. At first he had genuinely thought it was due to her own wishes. But she was correct, she should not be in the hot springs during the pregnancy so he was curious as to why she persisted.

Hinata thought about how to explain it to him. She had seen so many abandoned places recently, the Uchiha lands, this little lost village and even the old base. "The emptiness just seems so sad," she said simply. "I hate to see things destroyed. I would rather see them built."

Sasuke gave her a completely neutral stare and responded with a coolness in his voice she had not heard since the day they departed. "I would have hoped you understood why that was necessary."

Hinata realized what she had said. "Oh, I'm sorry, Sasuke. Of course it was necessary for you to destroy that place. And I understand," she cast her gaze down and added, "at least I think I do."

He recognized that much of his memory of what had happened at the base after the Amaterasu had been lost to the fever but he could still recall some of the words she had said, the feeling of her pressed against him, her arms around him. It was almost as if she had known the why of what he was doing before he admitted it to himself. And for some reason he found it important that she of all people understood him.

She was looking back up at him now, her lavender eyes catching the moonlight, "I suppose I should have said that I hate to see places that have been... abandoned, like this village and..." she stopped again - she was going to say 'the Uchiha lands' but realized she didn't want to bring that up. "And...they just seem so lonely."

"The others will be here, soon," Sasuke responded. Lonely. The word lonely etched itself into his mind. Of course she was lonely. Everyone she loved or cared for was back in Konoha. He wondered why he cared if Hinata Hyuuga were lonely or not, if she were happy or not. But he did.

"I know," she said her words drawing his attention back to her. "Perhaps I'm just thinking ahead to when they are here, to when more of the village is occupied. It would be nice to have something central, something communal and shared then."

Truthfully, she found that her thoughts lately since their return had been almost completely preoccupied with the arrival of the others. What would her role become then? How would her interactions with Sasuke change? Would she even be able to spend time with him anymore? Keeping herself busy had been one way to fill up the hours so that she did not dwell on it too much. Between supplying themselves with firewood and provisioning additional rooms in the keep for the arrival of the others most of the days had been easily filled. But the work was repetitive and she found her mind still wandered to Sasuke himself. She thought that building and repairing might occupy both her body and her mind.

Sasuke assented, "We can investigate the onsen in more detail tomorrow. It might be good to work on something that is not purely utilitarian." She brightened and even though it only lasted for an instant he liked to see her smile.

Beyond mere loneliness Hinata's acknowledgment of the arrival of Seito's group indicated to him that she had been thinking along the same lines that he had. The nature of their relationship would change. It would have to when others were present and as her pregnancy began to become more apparent. It was time he brought the subject up with her.

As they turned and continued their walk back to the keep for the evening he began. "Hinata, Seito will be returning quite soon."

"Yes. I know. When do you expect him?"

"Within the next two weeks. By my instructions he has not attempted to communicate but before he left he was advised to take his time selecting those who would would accompany him. We did set a maximum time for his entire trip though and less than two weeks remain."

Hinata nodded. "Do you know how many will be with him?"

"No. I have left that decision up to him. However, obviously there will be additional people here and obviously...they will be curious about the nature of our relationship."

Hinata simply nodded politely again but inwardly her heart was drumming against her chest. Relationship. What type of relationship did they even have? She was his servant, nothing more.

"We've discussed it briefly before, the fact that we would have to address it at some point And now, soon enough our situation will be...evident to anyone. It would be good if...for the time being we should let them assume we are partners," Sasuke said.

"I see," she started. He was right, of course, but Hinata was dismayed. She had been working hard on trying to limit her thoughts about Sasuke to simply those of a servant since their return and now he wanted her to ... pretend...that there was something between them? For the sake of the others? But she reminded herself - it would also be for the benefit of her child - their child.

"And what should I do?" she asked looking down at the ground as they walked on, voice heavy, heart heavy, even her steps back to the keep felt heavy. It was impossible. How was she supposed to pretend that she was pretending to be in love with him when she knew by now that she was.

She was in love.

With Sasuke Uchiha.

She loved his voice and his smile, it was more often behind his eyes than on his lips but still his smile was there. She loved his stupid light teasing of her, their little jokes. She loved seeing him at breakfast in the morning with his hair slightly tousled and saying goodnight each evening. She loved that he had needed her when he was ill and that she was able to help him. Her fingertips still remembered the faint remains of the curse seal, how much damage had been done and how strong he must have been to recover from that. She loved that strength. She loved that he didn't treat her like a fragile princess or as someone incompetent or incapable, but simply as herself. She loved when he taught her something new, loved every minute of the time he spent with her.

"The room next to mine adjoins it," he answered her, his words yanking her out of her reverie. "It would make sense for you to move from your room across the hall into that one, for appearance's sake. And since they could be back any day now you should make the move soon."

"Yes. I could do that." She had known the two adjoined from having cleaned and set them up earlier. "The room is ready. I ... didn't know if there was someone coming who would...occupy that place."

Sasuke stopped and looked at her under the moon. They were about halfway back to the keep from the onsen. "No. No one," he said.

He was surprised that she had even considered it and curious as to why she brought it up. Why would it matter to her?

Occupy. He could come up with a number of synonyms for the word - occupy, bemuse, engage, fascinate, interest.

No, Hinata Hyuuga, he thought to himself, there is no one else who occupies a place near me.

Nor could he imagine that there would be anyone else he would prefer occupying a place near him.

Turning, Sasuke led her back along the way home.

Back at the keep Hinata went upstairs and relocated the items she had selected for her personal use into the room across the hall. There was not much to move - a few yukatas, a couple of kunoichi uniforms, some spare linens and blankets - and it only took a few armloads to transfer them. Everything she moved was simple and utilitarian. In the morning she would clean and refresh the room she was leaving in preparation for its next occupant.

The new room was not all that much different than the previous one, only slightly larger but with two doors, one to the hallway and the other shared with Sasuke's room. Closing the hallway door behind her as she left she then descended the stairs to rejoin him. Since their trip it had become a new habit that they would have a bit of conversation in the main room downstairs in front of the fire. They would usually review the day's events and plan for the next day before retiring each night. Tonight, though, there was another item swirling in Hinata's mind since the topic of their...relationship had come up this evening.

"Sasuke, may I ask you a question?" she ventured as she sat with her hands in her lap staring into the fire.

"What is it? he responded, curious to note that she wasn't looking at him.

"Why, the night you brought me here, why didn't you...stop...Karin that night?"

"Why didn't I kill her, you mean?" His tone and his gaze both sharpened but Hinata did not turn from looking into the fire.

"No, I mean, I don't understand the nature of your... relationship with her."

Sasuke exhaled sharply and turned toward the fire with his back to Hinata. There was a long silence punctuated only by the occasional crackle from the fire. He knew there was something else he needed to tell Hinata about his time with Orochimaru and Karin. And in a strange way he wanted to let her know more about this part of his past. Perhaps this night was as good as any other to do that.

"What you have to understand is that those of us who were with Orochimaru, those who were his followers, we were there by choice. Although he had some subjects," he said distastefully, "who had no choice but we who were his followers did. It was our decision to join and to stay." Sasuke found that he understood now why she had asked her question looking into the fire and not at him. It was easier to let the words out if they were then carried away by the heat and the flame to...nothing.

He continued, "While we were there, we were compelled to do certain things. I have told you some of that earlier."

"I remember," she whispered.

"But not everything we did...was compelled." He waited for some type of response from her but when she didn't say anything after a moment he went on. "And apparently Karin thought that held more significance than it did."

He was looking at her now, wondering what type of reaction she would have but instead she had another question.

"Did you love her?"

Sasuke gave a self-deprecating laugh. "Love? I don't think I know what that means. She and I had a few physical encounters. I didn't know what she would think it meant." He turned back to the fire again. "Or maybe I did and it didn't matter. In which case, how is my use of her any different than Orochimaru's?"

"You're not a monster like he was," Hinata whispered.

Sasuke was facing her again now, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. "Are you sure about that Hinata?"

"I'm sure," came her soft reply and he found that he very much wanted to believe her.

"Hinata?"

"Yes?"

"Why didn't you leave when you had the chance? After the Amaterasu. You didn't have to stay. You could have gone back to Konoha and..."

"I-I said I would stay, Sasuke. I gave you my word. When you sent Shikamaru home," she continued, unable to look at him. "And you...needed me...needed my help that is. I couldn't leave you."

"But...," he was having trouble voicing his thoughts. "Hinata, we haven't talked about it but...," this was turning out to be more difficult than he thought it would, "do you want to go back after the baby comes?"

"What are you saying?" she gasped looking up at him. For a moment she felt like she couldn't breathe. "Are you...are you going to send me away...after...and keep...?"

In the firelight he could see her eyes were wide with fright. If she hadn't thought him a monster before she certainly did now. He had meant to be kind, to let her know the choice would be hers to stay or go after the child was born. He had known of course that she would choose to stay with the baby. He had hoped her reason for staying would include him, too. He should have anticipated that she would fear being sent away.

He cleared his throat, "No. No. That's not what I meant. It's just...you...seemed to miss everyone so much from the village when we were talking about them. If you wanted to go back...then..."

Once again the fire provided the only sounds between the two of them for a moment before Hinata answered.

"Sasuke...I want to stay...," her voice was trembling and she almost let the 'with you' slip past her lips but caught herself and said "to raise my...our...," before fumbling again. She was trying hard not to blink and with a shock Sasuke realized it was to prevent herself from crying.

He walked over and knelt down beside her, reaching up to place one hand on her shoulder. "Hinata, I would like it...that is to say, I would prefer it if you stay," and he almost added 'with me' before catching himself. "Every child should have its mother and...I'm sorry I brought it up," then added with a whisper, "You'll be a good mother, Hinata. And...I want...I would prefer... you to stay...for the sake of the child."

Sasuke looked down and saw that she had the fabric of her yukata at her thighs bunched tightly in her hands, her knuckles white.

"You'll be a good father, Sasuke," she whispered hoarsely. Then she quickly rose and turned away and excused herself to go to bed.