Vanessa sat in the backseat of the cargo van, staring out over the green rolling hills of Ireland. She noticed how absolutely beautiful it was and in any other circumstances she would be grateful to be here. But how could she be grateful to see the countryside when her son was missing?
So she watched the hills pass them by and looked forward at the bikes that were a couple hundred feet in front of them. When they came to a stop, she looked out the window seeing the SAMCRO guys greeting their Belfast brothers. She didn't know who was who, but she had a distaste for all of them. She didn't know who they could trust and who they couldn't. So she trusted no one.
They had only been driving for about an hour when Gemma spoke up for the first time.
"What the hell is that?" She asked nervously. Vanessa looked up to see a bunch of armed men and she felt even more jumpy.
"Police Services. Northern Ireland. As long as they got ID they should be okay." The driver spoke up, but Vanessa just kept her eyes on the men in front of them. "Out here, they ain't going to bother running it through Interpol."
Vanessa and Gemma looked at each other and instantly they both felt an anxious feeling overcome them. Vanessa sighed and shook her head, instantly feeling around for the gun that she decided to put in her purse for this very reason. When she found it, she waited for a few more minutes to see what was going on. She watched as the officer started pointing to all of her guys and she felt it in her gut that this was a set up. By who she didn't know, but she knew that it had to be.
"This is bad." Gemma spoke up as they watched all of the guys hand over their ID's and just nodded, trying to figure out what they should do next. The officers got off the phone quickly and immediately began pointing their weapons at SAMCRO. Her heart raced when she saw the rifle pointed to Jax's chest. Everyone put their hands up as the officers yelled, still pointing their weapons around. She watched on as they forced Jax on the ground. She gritted her teeth, not allowing this to be the end of their search for Abel.
"What do we do?" Vanessa asked the guys that were sitting around her, refusing to take her eyes off of Jax who was kneeling on the ground.
"Don't make sense. They wouldn't be able to get the intel, not that quick." The driver announced to everyone. Vanessa watched as Chibs refused to get down on the ground. They exchanged words before Chibs spit in the officer's face. The officer bashed the Scot in the face with the butt of his rifle, causing him to fall onto the ground. The rest of the guys instantly jumped up in defense of their brother. Vanessa watched Jax get punched in the face before picking the officer up and throwing him on to the ground. She saw this turning into an all out brawl and the anxiety built up inside of her.
"Oh, shit." Gemma said, worriedly.
"We have to do something!" Vanessa spoke up loudly, her heart pounding in her chest. She heard the gunshots that were fired into the air and stared at her man, making sure he wasn't hurt. The guys all jumped at the sound too before the officers forced them to move over to the police van. Each officer quickly zip tied each of their hands behind them.
"Where are they going to take them?" Gemma asked the driver.
"Jesus, after that ruckus, these assholes will probably just shoot them and dump them. Blame it on the life."
"That cannot happen." Vanessa stated firmly. The vehicle holding the guys began driving towards them. She knew that if they got too far away, her old man and her friends would all be killed. "Fuck. Step on the gas." Vanessa told the driver.
"What?" He sounded confused.
"Just step on the gas!" Gemma yelled at him.
"You heard the ladies, Luther." One of the guys who was sitting in the back with her said, nodding in agreement.
"I ain't going to broadside no police." Luther argued.
"They're going to kill them!" Vanessa screamed at him. "Step on the goddamn gas, Luther!"
"Run 'em off the fucking road!" Gemma moved into the driver's seat and slammed her foot on the gas pedal. Vanessa lurched forwards roughly, but held onto the back of the passenger's seat to protect herself. She heard Luther screaming profanities and suddenly she saw the police van crash into a boulder on the side of the road. All of the guys in their cargo van got out of the vehicle, weapons drawn, as did Vanessa and Gemma. Vanessa immediately ran over to the police vehicle while the others chased two other officers away, shooting their weapons at them.
Two of the officers driving the transport vehicle were unnerved, handing the keys over to one of the Belfast guys while Vanessa stood by the vehicle, holding her gun to the head of the officer that had previously punched Jax in the face.
"On your knees." She said, but he refused to move. Vanessa's anger shone through as she shoved the gun into his head, clicking the safety off. "I said get on your fucking knees!" The man slowly got to his knees muttering something about her being a crazy bitch. She ignored it though, choosing to focus on getting the guys away from this danger. "Let's go! Get them out." She yelled, trying to get all of SAMCRO out of the transport vehicle.
"Let's go!" Gemma yelled as the Belfast guys were helping get their American brothers out of the vehicle. Vanessa saw Jax staring at her with gritted teeth and flared nostrils as he saw her holding a gun to the officers head. "Everyone okay?" Gemma asked her guys. Jax's hands got cut free and he walked angrily towards her.
"What the fuck are you doing?" He screamed.
"Saving your asses." She spoke back calmly, the gun still trained on the officer on his knees. He took the gun from her hands and he thought about who he had turned her into. Who this life had turned her into. Between killing Nate's caretaker, helping break his mother away from federal lock up, and holding a gun to a police officers head. He was surprised in how just a few short months, he turned her into this. He turned her into what any outlaw biker would want his old lady to be like. But he knew Vanessa and the person standing in front of him right now, was not her.
"You could have got yourself fucking killed!"
"But I didn't!" She yelled back at him. She took a step closer to him and grabbed onto his sweatshirt as she lowered her voice, tears ready to flood her eyes. "I just want to get Abel back. I don't care what it takes. I don't care what I have to do or who I have to hurt. And I don't care if you end up hating me after all of this is said and done. All I care about is Abel. He is the only thing that matters, Jax."
Jax just shook his head and walked away from her. She stood there and watched as he walked over to Chibs' nephew, suddenly feeling very emotional. Her jaw trembled as she moved to lean against the edge of a tree all alone. It was all the truth. She would do anything to get her baby back home safe. She knew that this was kill or be killed, and she knew that she would kill to hold Abel in her arms again.
"Holy shit. What the hell was that?" Jax asked Chibs' nephew with wide eyes, just a few feet away from where Vanessa stood by herself.
"Welcome to Ireland." The kid laughed heartily.
Vanessa watched from afar as Clay questioned the man in front of him. He had visible marks on his face and a bloody nose, but looked no worse for wear. She looked to Jax who was putting his black leather riding gloves on, a telltale sign trouble. She stood with her arms wrapped around her chest just looking at each of the Belfast guys as Jax, Chibs, and Clay questioned the police officer violently in front of everyone. She knew that the intel on her guys was given by one of the Belfast brothers.
She saw some of them watching with smirks on their face similar to the one that Happy had on his, they seemed just jovial at the sight of the man bleeding. Others were looking around, patrolling the area to make sure no one else was going to show up. She wasn't sure who could be trusted. She didn't want to trust any of them. She knew that someone had planned this, someone was trying to keep her from her son.
She continued watching from afar, keeping an eye out on all of the men. She noticed Gemma walking over towards her and she sighed, exhausted from the traveling and the drama that they were already facing while in Ireland.
"You did good, baby." Gemma spoke up, nodding at her proudly.
"Yeah, well Jax doesn't think so." She knew he was still angry with her when he could barely make eye contact with her without his jaw clenching. "But I don't care. He can be as pissed as he wants, it doesn't matter. Because I am going to do anything I have to do to get Abel back."
"I know you will, sweetheart. That's what mothers do." Gemma walked off and over to Clay as Jax walked towards her, handing her one of the extra helmets from the cargo van.
"Put this on." Jax whispered angrily.
"Why?"
"Because you're riding with me. I ain't having you and my mother pull another stunt like that." He spoke quietly as they walked over towards the bikes.
"That stunt saved your ass." She whispered to him.
"Get on." Jax left no room for argument. She just put the helmet on her head and fastened it. She got on the bike behind him and wrapped her arms around him tightly. But no matter how close her body was to his, there was still a significant distance between the two of them. So much distance that she feared the gap would never close.
They were driving for over an hour before they finally reached the city's limits. As they pulled onto the street that housed the Belfast charter's clubhouse, they heard the cheers and whistles that emanated throughout the entire lot. Jax's bike came to a halt and he turned off the engine. He got off first, holding his hand out to help her off the bike. She watched as Jax greeted all of his international brothers with shaking hands and hugs. Vanessa stood off to the side, feeling uncomfortable. Normally, she would feel fine, but with her and Jax on such rocky terms, she was concerned that she would no longer be viewed as Jax's old lady. Instead, she would be viewed as an outsider.
Plus not knowing who was to be trusted and who wasn't to be trusted made her weary of each and every person she came into contact with. So she walked to Gemma, standing next to the matriarch and looked over to the direction where a younger blonde woman was standing. Vanessa noticed that Gemma was staring at the woman, as well as a younger girl who couldn't be a day over eighteen.
"Who's that?"
"That's Maureen Ashby." Gemma started walking towards the woman and Vanessa followed, as did Clay and Jax. They reached the woman and she smiled tightly. Vanessa could sense the tension between everyone, especially Gemma and Maureen.
"Well, welcome." Maureen greeted, she shook hands with Clay and Jax. Before going to shake her hand. "You must be Abel's mother. Welcome."
"Vanessa." She shook her hand, neither confirming or denying the statement. "Thank you."
"Gemma." Maureen greeted with a slight nod. Gemma looked her up and down before looking at the younger girl, ignoring their sentiments. "Oh, this is Trinity, my daughter." Trinity shook hands with everyone and they introduced themselves.
"I'm Vanessa, we spoke on the phone. The friend."
"Trinity. The daughter." She smiled. Maureen shooed her daughter away and told her to go back to the register at the store.
"Didn't expect you to make the journey." Maureen said to Gemma.
"Neither did the Feds. Where's my grandson?"
"Come on upstairs, we'll have a cup of tea."
"I don't want any goddamn tea."
"This is my home, Gemma." Maureen snapped back. "Wee bit of respect would go a long way." Gemma looked to Clay and Jax before exhaling a deep breath.
"You got coffee?"
"Aye." She pointed her head to their house and everyone followed Maureen to their store and up the stairs.
When they got upstairs, Maureen brewed coffee and tea and passed it out to everyone. Vanessa nodded, grateful to be drinking a warm cup of tea after their long journey. She sat down on the rocking chair, Jax standing behind her while Gemma and Clay sat next to each other on the couch.
"Cammy brought the baby to me." Maureen started. "He knew he was in deep shit with the club and the Army. He set a meeting with my brother."
"Wanted a pass from the priest." Clay spoke up.
"Aye." Maureen nodded. "He didn't get one. After that, Kellan took Abel to keep him safe."
"Then let's go talk to Kellan." Jax ordered gently.
"No, he knows where you are. He'll find you."
"When?" Vanessa asked, annoyed that they weren't just telling her where the baby was. She looked at Maureen with sad, tired eyes. "We traveled all this way, we just want our son back."
"I don't know when."
"So we're supposed to just wait?" Gemma asked, significantly more annoyed and hostile than Vanessa.
"Aye. Your questions will be answered soon enough." Everyone stared at Maureen in annoyance and sadness. "Look, I'm sorry this has happened to you. I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling as a mother." Vanessa shook her head and got up from the chair.
"Thank you for the tea." She said before walking down the stairs and outside. She leaned up against the wall of the building and closed her eyes, exhaling a deep breath. She reached into her purse to search for a leftover pack of cigarettes. She knew she wouldn't find any since she had quit months ago for her son. And she was grateful that there weren't any in her bag to to reignite and fuel her addiction, but she couldn't help but feel the overpowering itch of needing the nicotine. She shook her head and closed her eyes, sighing out in annoyance as she tried to hold back her tears. She opened her eyes when she heard someone walking towards her.
Jax moved next to her against the wall, seeing the stress, the anger, the sadness all lingering on her face. He lit his cigarette and took a puff before he passed it to her. She stared at it for a moment, she knew that she didn't want to start smoking once again. So with every ounce of strength she had in her, she shook her head. He took another pull as Vanessa stared off into the cloudy sky, both standing in overwhelming silence.
"Hey, Jesse." Vanessa answered her prepaid. While the guys were in church trying to figure out their next moves, Vanessa sat at the picnic table by herself. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, me and Tig got bailed out finally. He lost his license for a while, I had to pay a fine. But we're good. How's shit there?"
"We're waiting to see what we do next. It's been eventful."
"You haven't even been there a full day."
"Believe me, I know." She looked on as two cars pulled into the lot, while the guys started getting out of church, some with their guns drawn. "I'll talk to you later, alright?"
"Yeah. Call me if you guys need anything." Vanessa hung up, watching Chibs run over to hug his daughter and Fiona. She smiled solemnly, wanting nothing more than to be able to hug her own son. Jax walked over to her and his fingers lingered on the small of her back for a second before he pulled away as if he had been burned. She bit her lip and looked towards his face, all he did was nod towards the inn that they were staying at. She followed him up the stairs and inside, sitting on one of the chairs near him but not too close while Fiona began speaking.
"I have no idea why Jimmy lied. I'm not privy to his plans. He doesn't trust me anymore." Fiona told them with a shake of her head as she looked to Chibs.
"Do you at least know what he's been up to since he got back?" Chibs asked her.
"Recruiting." She scoffed. "He's at his bar in Newry pretty much day and night."
"What about O'Neill?" Jax asked her. "He on Jimmy's permanent payroll?"
"Not that I know of. But like I said, last few months, been in the dark." She sighed. "Sorry I have nothing that helps."
"It's okay." Gemma spoke up. "Thank you."
Everyone looked to the door quickly as a man came inside the inn with Kerrianne following behind him, a soda in her hand. "Start wrapping it up, Fi. Need to get back."
"Kellan wants us to stay at the rectory." She sighed, grabbing her bag and standing up. "It's like a bloody fortress."
"Jimmy really gonna try to hurt us, ma?" Kerrianne asked quietly.
"Hey, no one's ever gonna hurt my baby." Chibs walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead. "I'll make sure of that."
"Can't they stay for a while?" Gemma spoke up, wanting Chibs to be able to spend time with his family. "They just got here."
"Church is nearby, right? We can get 'em back safe." Clay told the man.
"You lads armed?" The man asked, watching as everyone held up their firearms in an almost comical way. He nodded. "Tonight then."
"Hey, thanks." Chibs called out as the man left the building.
Vanessa felt a sadness overwhelm her as she stood up from the chair and walked upstairs to the room. She looked at the full sized bed, wondering if her and Jax would be sharing a room. She sighed as she closed the door and went into her duffel bag. She felt gross and wanted to take a shower, but decided to just change out of the clothes that she was wearing for the past day. She took her shirt off, leaving her in nothing but a bra, when the door opened. She was startled slightly, looking quickly back to the door to see Jax walking inside.
"Sorry." He muttered, closing the door behind him and looking at the top of his crow on her hip.
"It's fine." She threw a low cut, slightly revealing tank top on before covering up with a sweater. "I can find another room, if you want."
"Nessa…"
"You tell me what you want me to do here, Jax."
"I'm not gonna kick you out of our room."
"You pretty much kicked me out of your house." She whispered, not wanting to argue anymore. She laid on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. She felt the bed sink down next to her as he laid down too. She turned to look at him and he saw tears welling in her eyes. He couldn't help but think that she had been crying a lot more lately and that his life had been the cause of too much hurt for her already. But he couldn't control himself when he brushed away one of the tears that fell down her cheek. "How do we fix this? How do we fix us, Jax?"
He didn't think he had an answer, and was thankfully interrupted before he could answer, by Trinity who was walking inside the room with a handful of sheets in her hands. Jax looked over his shoulder as he continued to lay on the bed as Vanessa sat up and wiped her eyes.
"Sorry." The young girl said sheepishly. "Didn't think anyone was here."
"That's alright." Jax nodded.
"My ma doesn't trust this place to lay out clean sheets." She laid the sheets on the chair on the other side of the room, a smile on her face.
"Good to know. Thanks." Jax returned the smile politely. Vanessa had seen that innocently polite yet flirty smile before. He reserved it for women who did him favors. She knew he was a flirt. He always had been. It bothered her sometimes, especially when they were on rocky terms. But she ignored it, choosing instead to look at the young girl who seemed taken aback by the smile as she licked her lips.
"Gonna be a rough one, isn't it?" The girl asked, and Vanessa could instantly see her checking Jax out. She wanted to roll her eyes, but figured that the young girl couldn't help herself. Hell, sometimes she could barely help herself.
"I don't know." He admitted.
"I'm sorry about the way I spoke to you on the phone." She finally looked towards Vanessa, a guilty look on her face realizing that she had just been caught checking Jax out.
"That's alright."
"And I'm sorry about your son. Wasn't here when my uncle showed up. Ma didn't want to tell me."
"Can you blame her?" Jax spoke up with a small scoff.
"Chibs is gonna take Fi and Kerrianne back to St. Matt's." Juice announced.
"Fine. Tell 'em to wait for me. I'm going with them."
"I'm going too, Jax." Vanessa spoke up, she assumed that he was going to argue but he surprisingly didn't. Instead he just nodded.
"I better come with you." Trinity said. "Don't want you lads getting lost in the big city."
Trinity walked out of the room with Juice while Jax put his shoulder holster on. He put his kutte on next and nodded to the door. Vanessa threw on her leather jacket and walked out first, leading him downstairs and to the car that they were taking.
Vanessa yawned as she sat in the car, the exhaustion was setting in deep in her bones. She just wanted to drop off Kerrianne and Fiona so she could go back to the inn and sleep for a few hours. Jax looked at her as she yawned for the second time and put her head on his shoulder. He shook his head, a small smile on his face before looking back to Fiona.
"How long are you gonna stay with the priest?" Jax asked Fiona.
"Not sure."
"Listen, there's plenty of room on Oswald's plane, so you're coming back with us." Chibs told Fiona.
"I don't want to leave Ireland." Kerrianne spoke up, looking between her mother and father.
"Sweetheart, it's not for long. It's just till all this blows over."
"And when's that?" Kerrianne asked angrily, and Vanessa wondered the exact same thing. Chibs didn't get a chance to answer when the car in front of them came to a screeching halt. The driver slammed on his brakes, and Jax put his arm out in front of Vanessa so she wouldn't fly forward. She grabbed onto his arm, trying to ground herself. Her breathing became heavy as she put one hand on her stomach, instantly being brought back to that horrible night in New York that cost her the life of her unborn daughter. Vanessa looked back up to Jax, her other hand still grabbing onto his arm, and she saw a worried look on his face.
"What's he doing?" The driver honked. Another car drove by slowly, Opie and Chibs' nephew were the first to see the long rifles pointing at their vehicle.
"Get down!" Both men yelled. Vanessa barely had time to register what they said before Jax was on top of her, covering her head with his arms. Trinity and Kerrianne were both screaming loudly in fear for their lives, while Vanessa could barely move. All she could do was grip onto Jax and not let go.
"Stay down." He said loudly to everyone in the car. But all she could see was Jax surrounding her, he looked into her eyes and he saw the fear as they held onto each other tighter. The gunshots seemed to last for hours when in retrospect it only lasted a few mere seconds. When the firing stopped and the vehicle drove away, Jax peeked his head up first, but Vanessa was reluctant to loosen her grip on him. When he deemed it safe, he then pulled Vanessa up with him, pulling her into his chest as his arms held her close to him. "Are you okay? Are you okay?" He inspected her closely while she just nodded, her eyes not leaving his face as she refused to let go of him. "Is everyone okay?"
Jax looked around the car as he heard a few of the people in the car responding 'yes' and saw that Trinity was holding Kerrianne's hand as she cried.
"We gotta go back, Jax." Opie said. Jax nodded and ordered them to drive back to the clubhouse again, needing to get the girls to safety. Vanessa was breathing heavily as they drove back to the clubhouse. Her one hand intertwined with his and his arm wrapped around her shoulders in a protective and comforting hold. When they finally got back to the clubhouse, he escorted her to sit down with his mother on the couch while he went to church.
"Girl's okay?" He asked Chibs when he walked into the chapel.
"Yeah, Casey picked 'em up. They're back at the rectory." Chibs opened his beer and sat down.
"Any idea who the shooter was?" Clay asked.
"Had to be Jimmy." Opie spoke up like the answer was obvious.
"No, it wasn't. It was the UVF. The Ulster Volunteers are radical Loyalists. They know that Fiona's with Jimmy, so they've probably been stalking her since she showed up here." McGee announced to everyone.
"Them and the P&P's bloody overwhelmed. All the recruiting Jimmy's been doing down south."
"So they gun down women and children? My old lady was in that fucking car." Jax said through gritted teeth, his anger getting the best of him.
"If they wanted to kill you, you'd be dead. Trust me on that, brother." O'Neill was in a stare off with Jax.
"He's right. The UVF was using Fiona to send a message to Jimmy to cease and desist. Had nothing to do with the lot of you or your woman."
"Jesus fucking Christ." Clay spat.
"We ain't in Charming anymore, boys." Chibs shook his head before taking another swig of his whiskey. Jax wanted to agree, but in retrospect, Belfast wasn't that different from Charming. Shootings, violence, blood. It seemed like it followed him, no matter where he went or with who. And he couldn't help but wonder if this was all his life would ever be.
AN: I know it's been awhile, and for that I apologize. It has been a rough few months tacked onto a rough year. I appreciate you guys sticking with me though.