A/N: After watching Manifest, I can honestly say that once Michaela married Zeke, I had a difficult time continuing the series. They have zero chemistry. None. I have been hoping that she would find her way back to Jared before the end of the series. Here is what I hope might happen in Season 4…
Jared finds himself at their place again, for what seems like the millionth time. He paces around a bit before finally settling on the park bench, running his fingers over the M + J engraved in the wood. He doesn't know what to do anymore. He doesn't know how to stop being in love with her. He isn't sure he can. After everything, after five and a half years of thinking she was dead and gone, he never stopped. How can she tell him she loves him, that she wants the same things as him, and then the next moment be with Zeke?
He runs his hands over his face. At least he'd still seen her everyday at work. At least he was still in her life in some capacity, trying to protect her and keep her safe. Then she quit, and something in him broke all over again.
Maybe he is just fooling himself. She didn't immediately accept his proposal all those years ago, but she willingly married Zeke after only a few days. Maybe his feelings really are one sided, and she doesn't love him the way he loves her. The thought nearly kills him.
Every time he feels like he is starting to get over her, she pulls him back into her orbit. He is tired, broken. All those years of wanting her so much he couldn't breathe, dreams of her causing him to wake aching and tired. Even when he was married to Lourdes, Michaela was there in his heart.
But maybe it was never meant to be…
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
It is over a week before they are able to talk about anything other than Grace's recovery, Eden's disappearance, and the never-ending drama that always seems to surround them. Even though they live in the same house, and continue to work together to follow the callings and help everyone around them, what is unspoken between them looms in the background of every interaction.
Michaela wakes early one morning to find Zeke's side of the bed empty. Rubbing her eyes, she walks down the stairs to find him sitting in the kitchen, his eyes unfocused.
"Zeke?" she questions as she moves to sit down beside him.
He doesn't say anything for a moment, not looking at her. "Did you only agree to marry me because you thought I only had one day to live?" he asks finally.
She gasps, "No! Zeke, how can you ask me that? I love you."
"I know you do," he replies. "But you love him, too."
"Who? Jared?" she questions.
"You can't tell me you don't," he responds. "I can feel it, remember?"
"I'll always love him," she admits, "We have a history together. But it's all in the past."
"See, before," he begins, "I could tell myself that was true. And now…now I can feel what you feel, and what he feels, and I understand now. He lost you, Michaela. For five and a half years he thought you were dead. And then when you returned, he lost you all over again. I know that you believe that the callings meant for us to be together, that we share a connection on a deeper level. But is that the only reason you're with me?"
She turns away, standing before beginning to pace the room. "I married you because I love you, Zeke. Because I felt a connection to you. The callings lead me to you. And Cal, he was certain you were the one for me. And I'll admit, I was looking for signs. But Zeke, I found them. My mom was there at the wedding, I felt her approval, her blessing. Jared and I, we never got the timing right."
"I know you love me, but you're in love with him," Zeke says softly.
"No, I'm not. Not anymore," she insists.
"Yes, you are," he replies. "You were jealous when he started seeing Sarah. You keep telling yourself that it is over between you, but I think you have been running from your feelings for him all along. You can't keep running, Michaela."
"I didn't run from you. I married you!" her eyes fill with tears. "Zeke, don't you see how much I need you?"
"But you need him too," he says. "And you thought I only had a day to live. It's like he said, I am supposed to be gone."
"Zeke, don't do this," she whispers.
"I have to," he replies. "Because I know how you feel, and I want you to be happy, even if it isn't with me." She doesn't say anything, tears streaming down her face. "Listen, I just want you to think about it, ok? Because I can't be with you knowing your heart wants someone else."
"I don't want to lose you," she replies. "We have a connection, too."
"But maybe not as lovers," he responds. "Maybe we were meant to only be friends."
"Zeke," she pleads.
"I'm going to stay at a hotel. Let me know when you want to talk again, ok?" he says. And before she can reply, he gathers a duffel bag that was already packed and heads out the door. She begins to cry, her thoughts reeling.
If there were no callings, she would not have even met Zeke. Of course she's with him because of them. They drew her to him, made her feel like it was 'meant to be'. But she's been wrong about the callings before.
And then there's Jared. She knows she loves him, but she assumed that was because they had a history together. They were going to get married. She was going to say yes, having decided on Flight 828 that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
"I wasn't ready. I might never be," she says out loud. She thinks about what Zeke said about running away from her feelings. She can remember with perfect clarity the one night she and Jared spent together, and the passion she felt for him. It frightened her how much she wanted him, needed him.
And then after, she felt so guilty about Lourdes that she couldn't even look at him. And so, she ran after Cal, and right into Zeke. She jumped at a chance for a new life, pushing her feelings for Jared so far down that she could barely recall them.
"What am I going to do?" she says to no one as she gathers her car keys and leaves the house, no destination in mind. She finds herself driving to their place, the place where he proposed. She sits down on their bench, running her fingers over the M + J inscribed on the wood.
"I didn't know you still came here," she hears his voice behind her. She turns to find him there, dressed for work in a suit and tie, and her heart stutters just like it always does when she looks at him.
"I don't," she responds. "But I started driving and ended up here."
"I still find myself coming here every time I want to feel closer to you, or need to clear my head, or just want to be alone. Lately, that's been happening a lot more," he explains.
"I'm sorry, Jared," she tells him. "Somehow I keep hurting you. I'm actually trying to protect you, mostly from me."
"Look," he says, sitting down beside her, "I wanted to apologize for the other day. I was stressed, and I said things I shouldn't have said. I know that you're married. It's just that sometimes I have difficulty accepting it."
"I know," she responds. "You don't have to apologize, Jay. You're allowed to tell me how you feel."
He stares at her intently, "Then can I tell you that every time you call me Jay, my heart skips a beat?"
"Jared," she breathes, and she feels it again, that connection she has with him, and a surge of desire passes through her. She looks down at her wedding rings, and immediately feels guilty. "Zeke thinks I'm still in love with you."
"And are you?" Jared asks, unable to hide the hopefulness in his voice.
She looks down, unable to answer him. "Mick?" he asks, and when she still doesn't respond he stands, staring off into the distance, his back to her. "You got on that plane, and you disappeared. I lost you. For five and a half years I thought you were dead. Everything I did, everywhere I looked, you were there, because you're a part of me. And it hurt Mick. It hurt so goddamn much that I couldn't breathe. And then when I finally moved on, was able to feel again, to love, she wasn't you. And then when you came back, it was as if no time had passed. I could finally breathe again. I know I was married to Lourdes, and that what we did was wrong, but nothing has ever felt so right in my entire life. You told me you loved me, that you wanted the same things, and then you ran, Mick. You ran straight to him, as if I didn't matter to you. And forgive me, but I went a little crazy at the idea of losing you all over again. You keep telling me that I don't understand the callings, that I never will. All I know is they took away the person I love most in this world…twice. I don't know how to live my life without you, Mick, and honestly, I don't want to."
"Jay," she whispers, and he turns around to face her. "Don't you see? I can't lose you, either."
"I'm right here," he replies.
"No," she responds. "I don't know how much time I have left. I want you to be happy, have a life. I can't keep taking you down with me. I can't keep hurting you. Don't you see? When we worked together, I almost got you killed. It terrified me, Jay. It still does."
"I would rather have one more day with you than nothing at all," he insists, taking a step toward her. "Look, I know you think you have to listen to all the callings, and that they wanted you to be with Zeke, and maybe you're right. All I'm asking you is, what do you want? What does your heart say?"
"I need to follow the callings if I want to live," she says. "Jared, please," she begins to cry. "I can't do this."
"Can't do what?" he whispers, his voice soft, taking her hand in his.
She feels it immediately, the electricity that flows between them, that spark that they've always had. Her heart begins pounding, a thousand emotions flooding her body. "I'm so afraid," she admits quietly. "I just want to be normal again. I hear voices in my head. I have nightmares. I see clouds that aren't there and blood dripping down the walls. My husband is an empath and feels what others feel. And you're ready to move on with someone else. And I just can't do this anymore."
"Do what?" he asks.
"This," she replies, gesturing between them, "I'm just so tired of being afraid." She begins crying in earnest, and he pulls her into a hug. He threads his fingers through her hair, inhaling the scent of it, of her, as he holds her.
"I'm not ready to move on," he whispers. "I'm in love with you. I always have been. I know now I always will be."
"Jay," she whimpers, pulling away from him and wiping her eyes.
"I know you feel it too," he replies.
"Jared, I can't," she insists. "I'm married."
"You were supposed to marry me!" he exclaims, suddenly angry. "You never should have gotten on that plane!"
"I know," she agrees. "I was going to say yes! When we landed, I typed my reply, not knowing it was now 2018. It didn't send, of course. And then I found out you were married to Lourdes. It felt like a three-hour flight to me, Jared. I know it was different for you, but it didn't stop it from hurting."
She looks up at him, and sees that he is crying now, too. "I married Lourdes because it was the only way I could still feel close to you. She was your best friend, and we had that in common, you. I loved her, of course, but she didn't replace you. No one ever could."
"No one can replace you, either," she says quietly. "I don't know what to do."
"Well, I'm a little too biased to give you advice," he says, and she laughs. "But honestly, Mick. As long as you're truly happy, then I will be too. Even if you aren't with me."
"That's what Zeke said, too," she replies. "I have some thinking to do," she tells him. "And no matter what I decide, I'm going to need some time. I can't just jump. We did that before, and look what happened."
"I know," he says, reaching out and giving her hand a squeeze. She feels the spark between them again, her entire body reacting to the simple touch of her hand in his. He releases her and turns to go.
"Jay," she calls and he turns around, looking at her. "I love you, too," she tells him. "I always have. I hesitated when you proposed because I didn't think I deserved you. I didn't think I had the right to be happy after what happened with Evie."
"I know," he responds. "You know, I did come to your wedding. I saw you come down the steps in your gown, and you were breathtaking, and all I could think of is everything I had lost. That if you hadn't been on that plane, you would have married me. And it hurt, it hurt so damn much. I couldn't just stand there and watch him marry you, knowing how I feel about you. Is that what you really want? For me to go and marry someone else? For us to be as we are now, friends who can barely be around each other because of everything that we don't allow ourselves to say, to feel? All this time, I've been trying to fight it. I'm tired, Mick. But I have your back, ok? Always, no matter what." And with a smile, he leaves.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
An hour later, Michaela finds herself sitting in the hospital at Grace's bedside.
"What brings you here?" Grace asks.
"What? Can't a girl visit her sister-in-law? Do I need to have an ulterior motive?" Michaela replies.
"Of course," Grace answers, "It's just that I get the sense that something is on your mind."
"Well," Michaela begins, "It's Zeke…and Jared. Zeke thinks I'm still in love with Jared. He's staying in a hotel for a few days and told me to think about things. And I just don't know what to do. And then I saw Jared, and we talked, and now I'm even more confused than ever. What was it like for you when Ben was gone? How did you know when he came back that you still wanted to be with him?"
"Oh, honey," Grace takes Michaela's hand. "It wasn't easy, at all. Losing Ben, and Cal, and you, for months I didn't even get out of bed. It was having Olive that helped me start wanting to live again. And when I met Danny, that helped too. And I did love him, not in the same way that I love Ben, but in a way that healed me at the time. But ultimately, I had to follow my heart, and it led me back to Ben." She squeezes Michaela's hand, "Jared was never the same after the plane disappeared. He kept in touch with me and with your parents. I think he was just trying to hold onto you in any way that he could. It was over two years before he started anything with Lourdes, but honestly, I think it was their way of trying to heal their grief. And then after you came back, the light came back into his eyes again. I know that he hasn't always done the right thing, but I do think that he's always trying to keep you safe. You mean everything to him."
"And what about Zeke?" Michaela whispers.
"Zeke is a wonderful man, and we love him, too," Grace replies. "Just as Danny is a good man. You need to search deep within yourself, and figure out what is in your heart. Forget the callings, forget what anyone else thinks or wants, and just focus on you."
"You make it sound easy," Michaela says.
"Oh no," Grace answers, "It's the hardest thing I've ever done, other than losing half of my family. It meant either way, I had to hurt someone I love. And no matter what, you know we love you and we support you."
"Thank you," Michaela says, leaning over to hug her gently. "I'm so happy that Ben has you," she tells her.
"I'm happy he has you, too," Grace smiles.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
For the next few days, Michaela stays home to think. She reflects on how hurt she was when she returned to find that Jared had married Lourdes. She recalls how every decision she made was to protect him, even though he resisted at every turn. She knows she ran from her feelings, and straight to Zeke. Zeke understood her in a way that Jared couldn't, because he experienced the callings too. She always thought that meant they were soulmates, but what if it didn't?
She'd lost her best friends, Evie and then Lourdes. And then Jared, too. But it was better than putting him in danger every day like she was before.
"Then why are you ok with Zeke helping you and not Jared?" she asks herself out loud.
Being with Zeke was easy. He didn't question her, or make her feel guilty or crazy because of the callings. He understood her terror and confusion when the callings wanted something from her. He knew what it was like to face death and come back from it.
And then there is Jared…
Jared does something to her that she can't explain. She takes out a notepad and writes, Why did I hesitate to accept his proposal? What was holding me back?
Fear. She knows this now. She loved Jared so much that at times it physically hurt. She was afraid of what that meant. She was afraid to need him. She was afraid she might lose him. And then, he lost her.
The realization hits her like a ton of bricks.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
As promised, both men leave her to think. She texts Zeke after a few days, needing to see him and talk to him. He enters the house, and she immediately notices that he isn't carrying his bag, showing his uncertainty about how this conversation is going to proceed.
"Hey," he says as he moves to sit beside her on the couch.
"Hey," she says, looking at him nervously. "Listen, I spent the last 3 days thinking, trying to sort out how I feel. There's something you should know. Right before I met you, Jared and I slept together. He was still married to my best friend, Lourdes. They got married years after I disappeared. And afterwards, I felt so guilty. Their marriage ended because of it. I just kept thinking I should never have come back, and then maybe he could have been happy with her, had a life." She pauses, taking a breath, "And so I ran away from it all. I met you and suddenly things weren't so hard all the time. It was comfortable, easy, safe."
"But you never really dealt with your feelings for him, because you never allowed yourself to feel them," Zeke interjects, and she nods.
"I didn't," she nods, "Everything I did hurt him. My dying, my returning, and his love for me almost got him killed. He almost lost his job because of me. I couldn't keep doing that to him, and so I ran."
"You ran to me," he says, taking her hand in his.
"I did," she responds. "And I do love you Zeke, I really do."
"But not in the same way that you love him," he continues for her. Her eyes fill with tears. "And like I said before, if I couldn't feel what you feel, maybe we could have carried on like we were. But I feel what you feel when you're around him and when you're with me. And it isn't the same. It's stronger, deeper somehow, your feelings for him. I always thought we were soulmates because of our story. The picture of you that I had, the fact that we share the callings and had the same experience, but maybe there is another reason for that. Maybe you and I weren't meant to be together like this, as husband and wife."
"Zeke," she begins, but he shakes his head.
"It's ok," he tells her. "Well, it isn't, but like I said you can't pretend with me."
"I don't want to lose you," she says.
"You won't," he replies. "I'm going to need some time," he admits, "Because I love you, Michaela, more than you know. You saved me, and for that I'll always be grateful. But I want you to be happy. I can't be with you knowing that your heart belongs to him. Do you know what it's like to make love to you knowing that what you feel for me isn't the same? That I can never measure up to him?"
"Zeke," she is crying. "I never meant to hurt you."
"I know," he replies. "It's like he said, I wasn't supposed to live. That's why with me, it wasn't as scary for you to commit."
"And what about the callings?" she asks.
"What about them?" he replies. "You can still follow them even if we aren't together anymore."
"I'm so sorry, Zeke. I wish I could change things. If I could, I would."
"I believe you," he says, "But you can't control who you love. It just happens."
And with that, he leaves. A few days later, she is served with divorce papers. A clean break, she thinks. Since the house and all of its contents are in her name, the only things he comes to collect are his clothes and a few personal items, which he does when she isn't home.
Michaela waits for the callings to lead her to her next move. Surprisingly, they stay quiet despite her split with Zeke. She feels helpless, unable to use her job as a detective to help the other passengers, and yet she is too ashamed to ask for it back.
Beverly continues as always, not noticing Zeke's absence since she never could remember who he was in the first place. "You look sad, Michaela," she tells her one morning, "When is Jared coming by to see you? That boy, he's so handsome," she muses.
"Jared won't be coming by today, Beverly," Michaela tells her, "We aren't together anymore, remember?"
"Oh, he's coming. Should be on his way now," Beverly smiles, before heading upstairs. And as if on cue, the doorbell rings.
Michaela opens it to find Jared standing there, looking handsome as ever in his suit and tie, holding a manila file.
"Hi," he says, looking a bit uncomfortable. "I'm sorry I didn't call or text first, but I was in the neighborhood and saw your car in the driveway, and I need your help with something."
"Yeah, of course, come in," she tells him. He follows her into the kitchen and takes a seat at the table.
"I'm working this case," he tells her, "And the details just don't add up. I feel like I'm missing something, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Would you mind looking at the file for me?"
"Sure, no problem," she says, taking it from him and beginning to rifle through it. She immediately starts brainstorming the case with him, getting him to consider things he hadn't thought of before, and soon, he is looking at her in amazement.
"What?" she asks.
"In about two seconds, you figured something out that I couldn't do in a week. Don't you see? You were born to be a cop," he insists.
"Jay," she whispers, looking down at her hands. It's then that he realizes she isn't wearing her wedding rings.
"Mick?" he asks gently. "What happened?"
"Zeke left," she replies, her eyes filling with unshed tears, "He told me he knows I'm still in love with you. He said I could never love him the way that I love you. He filed for divorce. We're over."
"Oh Mick," Jared takes her hand in his, "I'm so sorry. Are you ok?"
She looks at him now, and she knows he is being sincere. "Not really," she says, "But I will be. I just need some time," she says this looking him right in the eyes. He nods.
"Whatever you need," he says quietly, even though his heart is pounding so frantically he's sure she'll be able to hear it. "Please tell me you'll at least consider coming back to work? We really need you." I need you he thinks but doesn't say. "Just say the word and it's done, no questions asked."
"Thank you," she smiles at him, albeit weakly.
"I trust you," he tells her, "I just want you to know that. And if you think Saanvi should be free, then I will back you up. I know you want to protect the passengers. I know you need to follow the callings. I just want you to know that you can trust me, too."
"I know," she replies. "I'll think about it, ok?"
He nods before slipping out the door.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
It's another week before she gathers the courage to walk into the precinct again. She sits down with the Captain, explaining to her that she needed some time off to get over her divorce. The Captain nods sympathetically, telling her that Jared continues to speak highly of Michaela and has advised that she be reinstated as a detective.
"Oh, and Detective Stone?" the Captain calls as Michaela turns to leave. "Good to have you back."
Drea is thrilled to have her back, and soon she is so busy with cases, following the callings, and working with Ben that she doesn't have much time to dwell on anything else. Jared gives her the space she needs to focus on work, helping her when needed, and being there when she needs a friend. She's grateful for his presence, and knows he's waiting for her to make a move.
Several months pass, and she finds herself in on a stakeout with Jared. He's sitting in the driver's side of the car, talking animatedly about the case, and she can't help but notice how handsome he looks in this exact moment, a wave a desire for him hitting her so hard she gasps out loud. "Mick?" he asks, studying her. "Are you ok? Is it a calling?"
"No," she replies. "I'm ok." She places her hand over his, giving it a squeeze, and just this simple touch makes her heart pound. She clears her throat, turning her attention back to the job. They settle back into conversation about work, their families, and Beverly. "You know she's been asking about you a lot," Michaela tells him. "You should come by some time and see her. She'd love that."
"Yeah," he smiles. "I definitely will."
"How about dinner tomorrow night?" she asks before she can stop herself.
"I'll be there," he says automatically. "What'll it be? Pizza or cereal?" They both laugh as they smile at each other.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Beverly is overjoyed to see Jared, recognizing him immediately. The three of them have a nice meal together before Michaela helps the older woman to her room and to bed for the night. Once she is settled, Michaela returns downstairs to see that Jared has already cleaned up the meal and put away all the dishes.
"Thank you," she smiles at him. "You know I worry about Beverly. She's getting worse and sometimes the nurse isn't here. I don't know how much longer she can keep living here."
"You've done the best you can to keep her in her home," Jared replies. "I know Evie would have appreciated it."
"Yeah," Michaela says, for once the mention of Evie's name not bringing her pain, but joy. "I hope so."
For a moment they can only stare at each other. She takes a tentative step toward him.
"Mick," he whispers, and she takes both of his hands in hers.
"I'm so afraid," she breathes, her voice barely audible.
"Me too," he tells her, leaning his forehead against hers.
"I can't lose you again," she says.
"I'm right here," he takes her palm and presses it over his heart. "Can you feel that?" he asks her, "I need you, Michaela."
She leans up and kisses him. Gently at first, but it quickly deepens. He picks her up, carrying her toward the couch and sitting down on it, her straddling his lap. After a few heated minutes, she breaks the kiss, breathing hard, pressing her forehead against his.
"What is it? What's wrong?" he asks, his voice laced with concern.
"I'm sorry, Jay," she says, moving to sit beside him. "I want to, I want you so much," she clarifies, "But I'm just not ready yet. Can we take things slow?"
"Whatever you need," he responds. "We can just sit here, not touching." He folds his hands in his lap, grinning at her.
She laughs, "Oh, that isn't going to be easy."
"Not at all," he quips, "But we'll manage."
He opts for simply holding her hand as she switches on the TV, her eventually moving to rest her head on his shoulder. And he thinks that this is the happiest he's felt since she disappeared on that plane. At around midnight, she starts yawning, and he stands, gathering his coat before heading toward the door. "I had a great time tonight," he tells her honestly.
"Me too," she replies. He gives her a long kiss goodnight, threading his fingers through her hair before releasing her, leaving them both breathless. He returns the following night, and the night after that, having dinner with her and Beverly and then just relaxing together on the couch, occasionally kissing or cuddling. True to his word, he never pushes her, allowing her to make all the first moves.
After about a week of this, Beverly's health deteriorates to the point where Michaela decides it is time to put her into assisted living. She takes the day off from work to help pack Beverly's items and makes sure she's settled into her new room before returning back to the now empty house. Jared arrives after work.
"Are you doing ok?" he asks as they clean up dinner together.
"Yeah, it's for the best," she replies. "I couldn't take care of her on my own anymore." He nods, again looking so incredible that she momentarily forgets how to breathe. "Hey can you excuse me for a minute?" she asks, and he nods. She darts up the stairs before he can ask her anything else. Upstairs in her bedroom, she glances at her reflection in the mirror. "It's just Jared," she says out loud, before opening her closet and selecting a set of pale blue lingerie and a matching slip. He always said it was his favorite color on her, bringing out the color of her eyes. After changing and checking her hair and makeup, she returns downstairs to find him sitting on the couch waiting for her.
"Jay?" she says shyly.
"You're so beautiful," he tells her reverently, crossing the room in two long strides, his lips crashing into hers forcefully. He lifts her, wrapping her legs around his waist as he moves towards the steps, carrying her effortlessly, his lips fused to hers. When they reach the bedroom, he places her down next to the bed, taking a step back to look at her. "Do you have any idea what you do to me? How much I want you?" he asks, his voice breathless. "I love you, Michaela. I always have. I know now I always will."
"I love you too," she replies, loosening his tie and reaching for the buttons on his shirt. They undress each other slowly, falling onto the bed together. He takes his time reacquainting himself with her body, until she is trembling beneath him.
"Jay," she pleads.
"Tell me again," he whispers into her skin.
"I love you," she says. "I've always loved you."
He slides into her effortlessly, and they both cry out at the sensation. He kisses her deeply, their tongues entwined together as he moves within her. She feels wetness on his cheeks and pulls away, her eyes searching his when she sees that he is crying. "Jay? What is it?"
"I just," he whispers, "I never thought I'd have this again. And it's been so long…Mick…I need you," he breathes.
"I know," she murmurs, kissing his tears away before pulling his lips back to hers. They begin moving together once more, and it amazes her how well he remembers exactly how to make her body sing, just as he always had. "Oh Jay, I love you so much."
"You're my life," he says into her skin as they reach their peaks together, both crying out with pleasure.
He rolls them to their sides, lying facing each other, their bodies pressed together as they try to regain their breaths. "Wow," she says into the curve of his neck, he chuckles.
"Understatement," he agrees. "We were always phenomenal together, Mick. Remember? Every single time I look at you I want you like this. It's always been that way."
"I feel the same way about you," she begins kissing his neck, and he moans his approval. Just as she can feel his body beginning to respond again, she abruptly pulls away.
"What is it?" he asks.
"Zeke must've felt it, when I was with him like this," she admits. She can feel his body tense as he pulls away from her, rolling onto his back.
"Jared," she begins, tracing the lines of his bare chest with her fingertips, "He wasn't you, and he could sense it in me. That I knew."
"Knew what?" Jared prompts.
"Knew that I couldn't love him the way I love you," she sits up in bed, allowing the sheet to pool at her waist as she looks at him. He reaches up, cupping her cheek with his palm.
"It was like that for me, too. With Lourdes, Tamara, and Sarah," he feels her stiffen and she looks away from him. "Hey," he says. "I'm sorry. It's you I've wanted all along."
"I know," she sniffs. "I just hate the idea of you with someone else like this," she admits.
"Believe me, it wasn't like this," he says, his voice low and sultry.
"But what if the death date is real? What if I don't survive? Jay…" she trails off.
"Shhh," he tells her. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
"But Jay," she insists, "You can't know that. What if you can't—"
"Mick," he interrupts, "Please. I just want to be with you. We have a lot of lost time to make up for…" He pulls her lips back down to his, and soon there are no more words.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
After that, Michaela and Jared are nearly inseparable. At work, she and Drea work cases with Jared helping them every step of the way, keeping them out of the watchful eye of the Captain. At night, and during off hours, they spend almost every minute together. He accompanies her to family dinners with Grace and Ben, and to visit her father and Beverly.
And every chance they get, they find a way to touch, kiss, or make love. Michaela is grateful for Drea's partnership, as she knows if she were paired with Jared, she wouldn't be able to focus. The few times they go out to dinner together, they never make it to dessert. Most of the time, they don't even make it to the bedroom.
One night, things are getting pretty heated between them, his body pressing hers into the couch as he hovers over her, kissing her deeply. She begins unbuttoning his shirt when a knock at the door stops their ministrations. He groans, extricating himself from her as she attempts to smooth out her clothes and hair before opening the door.
"Zeke?" she exclaims in surprise when she finds her ex-husband on her doorstep.
"Michaela," he says, almost cautiously, and she feels a surge of guilt. Zeke glances into the house and spots Jared, who is trying to button up his shirt quickly as to not add to the awkwardness.
"Hey," Zeke nods at Jared politely, "I'm sorry to bother you guys. I just came by to talk to Michaela."
Jared nods, "I'll be upstairs," he says to Michaela. As he passes by her, she reaches out, touching his forearm.
"Thanks, Jay," she tells him warmly, and Zeke stiffens, clearly being able to sense the deep love between them.
"I'm glad to see that you're happy," Zeke tells her.
"Thanks," Michaela replies, unable to really look at him.
"I just came by to tell you that I think I figured something out," Zeke explains. "About us, I mean. I think when you were in that plane and I was in the cave, we were somehow in the same place. Which is why we all seem to be connected, the people that have had this experience. And that's why we all share the callings and the emotions surrounding them."
"That makes sense," she agrees. "Where do you think this place is, and why didn't we age there?"
"I don't know," he says. "I think maybe it was another dimension or something. I know it sounds crazy but I called Ben and talked it over, and he thinks I might be onto something."
"Well let me know if you come up with anything, or if you need any help from the precinct," she replies.
"You went back to work?" he asks.
"Yeah, I did," she says. "It's for the best. Now I can help out the passengers more, and Drea and Jared too."
"Good, I'm glad," he says.
"Zeke," she begins. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Don't," he replies. "I'm really ok. And I can see that you're happy, and that's really all that matters."
Jared peeks over the banister, "Everything ok?" he asks Michaela.
She nods, "Yes," she tells him. "Hey, Jay?" she calls up the steps, "Can you bring my cell charger when you come back down?"
"Sure, babe," he calls back.
Zeke smiles, looking down. "You know that was my first clue," he says to Michaela. "Watching how the two of you interact. You calling him "Jay" and just the way he said your name, like he couldn't quite believe you were real."
"Zeke," she tries again, but he just shakes his head. "It's ok, I promise. I'll be in touch, ok?" he says, and with that, he leaves.
As soon as the door closes behind him, Jared reappears holding her phone charger. "Mick?" he asks, wrapping his arms around her from behind and sweeping her hair off her neck, pressing a gentle kiss to her jaw. She gives him a summary of what transpired with Zeke and turns around in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I love when you call me Jay," he murmurs into her lips. "You never stopped. It made me hope that somehow, I was still special to you."
"You were. You are," she kisses him back passionately, pulling him with her back to the couch to finish what they started earlier. He stops in his tracks, shifting nervously on his feet.
"Hold that thought, I'll be right back," he tells her, and before she can react, he disappears up the steps. He returns a minute later, holding something inside his clenched fist. "I was going to wait," he says, getting down on one knee, and she gasps.
"Michaela," he tells her, "From the moment we first me, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you more than my own life. I never want to spend another minute without you. You are my soulmate, my everything, the love of my life. Will you marry me?"
"Yes!" she replies immediately, falling to her knees and kissing him passionately. He takes the ring out of its box and slides it onto her finger. "You kept it?" she asks.
"It's always been yours," he says. She looks down at it, her mind flashing back to the moment she slid it back onto her finger when 828 landed.
"I love you, Jay," she tells him. "So much."
"You are my life," he says simply, kissing her once more.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
A calling comes in the middle of the night, causing her to thrash and cry out in her sleep. Jared wakes, unsure of whether to wake her or let it run its course. He decides on the latter, knowing how important the messages from these callings are to her, and how they've helped save lives, including hers.
"Mick?" he asks, as her eyes blink awake and focus on him.
"It was terrible," she says, her eyes filling with tears. "I was on the plane with Cal and Ben and the other passengers, and we were crashing. And there was fire and blood, so much blood."
"I'm so sorry," Jared says, pulling her close and cradling her against his chest.
"What if that's what was supposed to happen to the plane? What if that's how I die? June 2, 2024. That's the day. And then what? I burst into flames?" she sniffs.
"No, no that isn't going to happen. Zeke survived, and so will you," Jared insists. "All we have to do is keep following the callings. Keep doing what you're doing."
"How can you be so sure?" she questions.
"Because we belong together," he replies, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.
"But how can you want a future with me? This is crazy, Jay. How can we get married, have a family, when we know what might be coming? I can't do that to you. I love you too much."
"Stop," he insists. "No one ever knows what is going to happen to them on any given day. Our jobs are dangerous, Mick. All I know is, I don't want to spend another minute without you."
"I was afraid," she says after a pause. "That the callings wanted me to be with Zeke. That they were trying to tell me that he was my soulmate, that we were destined, or something." Jared pulls away from her, sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to her. "I keep looking to them as the signs, the reason I'm still here, my purpose. I need to believe that they're good, but sometimes I'm not so sure. You get that, right? That the reason I stayed away from you is because I was trying to protect you."
"I know," he murmurs. "And I told you, my top priority is your safety. Please don't push me away again."
"I don't want to," she whispers. "It's just that sometimes I get so afraid, I can't breathe. Like when you were in the hospital and I didn't know if you were going to pull through. I can't handle that, Jay."
"I did handle that," he interjects solemnly, "For five and half years. You have no idea."
"Jay," she reaches for him, wrapping her arms around him from behind. "Baby, please. I can't even imagine what that was like. If I ever lost you…I can't even think about it."
"Mick," he turns so that he is facing her, "All this time, since the moment you got on that plane, I haven't let go of that fear, that pain. But you make me so happy now, just being with you. I will cherish every single minute we have together, no matter how long or how short. If the past has taught me anything, it's to never take love for granted. And you, Michaela Stone, are the love of my life."
"I love you so much," she says, taking his face in her hands. She pulls him down on top of her, kissing him deeply as they begin to move together. This, she thinks, when she is with him like this, her mind goes blank, and suddenly the only thing that matters is him and the way he makes her feel.
Save him. She sees a flash of Jared's face in her mind, his body lying limp in the road, his arms and legs twisted at impossible angles. Save him, her voice says again, and she's brought back to reality.
"Oh my God!" she nearly shouts.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
"Ben!" she says into the phone. "I saw him lying in the street dead. I'm not letting him leave the house until we figure this out."
"Mick," Ben says attempting to soothe his sister. "You can't protect him from everything. The callings want you to save him, protect him. You can do that. Believe in yourself."
"This is Jared we're talking about! My fiancé!" she snaps.
"You're engaged?" Ben replies, stunned.
"Yes," Michaela responds. "As of just a few hours ago. Please, Ben. After everything, he has to live. I need him."
"I know," Ben answers quietly. "Listen, we all care about Jared, too. You guys do dangerous work. Maybe it's time to think of these callings as a blessing instead of a curse. Think about it, Mick. Now you can be prepared."
"Nothing can prepare me to see the person I love most in the world like that," Mick whispers, starting to cry. "Please, Ben. Talk to Cal. See if he's seen anything that can help us. Contact the other passengers too."
"Ok," Ben replies.
She hangs up the phone and looks at Jared, his brow furrowed with concern for her. "I'm going to be ok," he tries to reassure her.
"We are not leaving this house until I figure this out. It looked like you had been hit by a car. I didn't recognize the street. And you were dead, lifeless," she begins to sob.
"Shh," he whispers. "I'm right here. I love you."
He kisses her, threading his hands into her hair and pulling her body flush against his. Slowly, his hands trail down her body, reaching for the tie on her robe and gliding the soft cotton over her shoulders until it pools at her feet, leaving her bare to him. He picks her up, bridal style, and carries her upstairs, placing her gently on the bed. He can feel her heart pounding, the blood pulsing through her veins as he hovers over her, placing light kisses on her lips, her necks, her breasts as he works his way down her body. When he reaches her center, he hears her gasp, his name falling from her lips when she reaches her peak. And soon, she is flipping them over, needing to feel him again.
"Wow," she says later when they are wrapped in each other's arms in the darkness of the room. "If anything can get me to stop obsessing over a calling, it's that."
"I'll keep that in mind," he says smugly, and she pokes him in the ribs as he chuckles.
"I've got you," he whispers. "We're in this together. You and me against the world."
"You and me against the world," she repeats, admiring the sparkle of her engagement ring in the pale moonlight of the room.