I AM ALIVE!
No, honestly, I am so sorry for not updating sooner. Many stuff came up and I don't think anyone is interested in hearing my life drama so let's skip that.
I had a severe case of writers block, to the point of thinking not to continue Azarath's Rebirth. But I clawed my way out of that hole and managed to get my thoughts together, all because I hope people are still interested in the story.
So, here it is! I believe people have been waiting to learn the whole truth about Orion and his whole deal, for quite a few chapters….Lets go down this rabbit hole together
Raven was thankful that her team agreed to leave the impending conversation for the morning. Andrastre had woken up a rather begrudged Phelan to take care of Lupe's wound-once the old man heard they had gone to the dungeons, he had let loose a string of very colorful curses- and Raven wanted to check up on her. They all had decided they needed their sleep and that any questions could wait till the morning.
It might sound odd but as she laid down on her bed, approximately two hours after embarking for the dungeons, the sorceress felt abnormally calm. Even though her initial response towards the now inevitable reveal of her past to her team had made her panic, now she felt almost relieved at the idea.
Her mind drifted-as it often did this passed few months- to the time of Trigon's thankfully short-term reign on Earth. More specifically, she recollected the bits and pieces of her time in her spiritually shattered form.
It had been a weird experience. At the same time she knew and didn't know who she was or what was happening. Even though she couldn't remember clearly the time, she knew she had tried to escape Robin when he had found her. She had only wanted to stay in hiding forever.
And then Robin had told her a story…her story….
The first memories that had reappeared as she had listened to him weren't of her parenthood, of Azarath or even of the people there that cared about her. It had been of her and Cyborg rebuilding the T-Car together, of her shared meditation sessions with Starfire, of the rare occasions when Beast Boy had respected her need for quiet and had sat next to her while she read, dozing off in his dog form. And lastly of the sparring session she and Robin had had after he had insisted that she couldn't rely on her magic alone.
As she thought more about it, she realized how idiotic it was for her to insist on keeping her team in the dark, even if she had done it out of concern for their safety. They had become much more than family to her and they deserved to know.
With that in mind, she let herself relax and drifted off to sleep.
And in Nevermore, all her Emoticlones retired as well, with even Sadness feeling the slightest tingle of hope brewing inside her gloomy essence.
The next morning found the team sitting at the throne room, around the same table where the previous day the magistrate meeting had taken place. Arthur, upon being informed that the teens needed somewhere private to have a discussion, had provided them the space, mentioning he had cancelled all official business for the day to oversee the preparations for the celebration in honor of Raven.
Raven had insisted that Lupe and Leon join them. She knew that the difficult subject they had to breach might prove too much and she needed them there to fill in the blanks, if needed.
As she stared at her team from the seat of the Azar, Robin and Starfire with Leon on her right, Beast Boy, Cyborg and Lupe on her left, she coughed, trying to calm down her nervousness.
"Maybe we should start with something ease. How about how we started training?" Leon offered, trying to kick start the conversation. Raven nodded, interlocking her fingers and placing them on the table in front of her. Despite her nervous state, she had decided to not pull up the hood of her cloak.
She knew that her team deserved to have her look them in the eyes as she explained.
"The previous Azar wanted nothing more than to protect me and the world from my destiny. She, even when I was still an infant, started devising a plan, not for preventing me from giving in to my demonic future, but also for building up a contingence plan in case I did help Trigon in the end. She hoped that by having me train alongside kids my age, and having us build a relationship with one another, I would be anchored to my humanity by the time my 16th birthday came around." She explained, as she started recalling the day the four of them were informed they were starting training….
Raven waited patiently for Azar to arrive, watching Leon running around, chasing Lupe in an annoying attempt to as he had said "Tickle her until she admitted her was smarter than her". The girl scoffed at that- an expression unfit for her young age- knowing fully well that Lupe, despite being only five, was too stubborn to admit defeat and too smart to let Leon catch her.
As if the child had read her mind, Lupe voiced a quick incantation, causing Leon to trip into thin air. The boy fell on the ground with a yelp and immediately rolled over, laying on his back as tears gathered in his eyes. By the way he was holding his left knee, he must have scratched it with the fall.
"Lupe! You are not allowed to use magic, unless you are a magistrate or apprentice!" A shout came from somewhere behind Raven and she turned around.
At the doorway Arthur stood, his arms crossed, as he had been the one to reprimand Lupe. Azar stood by his side, her long silver hair shining under the light coming downwards from the skylight.
"Don't be too harsh on the girl, Arthur. I believe her spite is what has made Andrastre so hell-bend on training her." The older woman said with an amused smile. She walked towards her grandson, who by then had stopped crying, and pulled him on his feet.
"Today is the day you all are to become apprentices of the council." She announced and the three kids stared at her in shock. Even in their young age, they knew the importance of being a student of a magistrate.
"Lupe will study under Andrastre. Leon, your uncle Balthazar has made it his first official solo decision as a magistrate to have you appointed as his pupil." Azar said, watching as Leon's face was lightened with the most radiant smile. The boy adored his father's best friend, and had been beyond excited when Balthazar had become a magistrate a few months prior.
"What about me? Am I allowed to do magic?" Raven asked in disbelief. Up until then, in all her seven years of existence, she had been told to refrain from using her natural gifts. So it was obvious she would be skeptical towards such a turn of events.
Azar smiled fondly at the little girl. Despite her goal of preventing Trigon from claiming his reign upon, she had also developed an incalculable adoration for the half-demon girl, seeing her for neither her parenthood or destiny, but for the innocent child she was.
The great leader kneeled down as best as she could with her old bones, staring Raven in the eyes as she nodded. "Yes of course. You will train under my care. You both will, isn't that right, Orion?" She said, looking over Raven's shoulder, towards the doorway, where the young boy stood…
"Ok, ok, wait a second! Who is this Orion goy? Why haven't we heard of him until now?" Beast Boy exclaimed, interrupting Raven's story. The girl glared momentarily at him for his impatience and then sighed, knowing he wasn't a fun of long explanations.
"Orion is a child whose family had send him to live in the temple in hopes he would become an apprentice. He was brought here when he was seven. There weren't many kids his age around so he ended up becoming friends with me and Raven, even though we were two years younger than him. Lupe sort of fell in the mix around the same time, being a rather pesky little three year old." Leon chimed in to fill in the gaps.
His last comment earned him Lupe moving his chair with her magic and him falling on the floor.
As Leon collected himself from the fall, Starfire offering him a hand, Lupe decided to continue where Raven had left off.
"So we started our training. Azar hoped that she could train Raven to control her powers while at the same time, training me, Leon and Orion in hopes we would be able to help her or stop her if necessary. All was going rather well. We excelled at our training, Raven was getting a grip of her powers alongside her emotions and our friendship was strengthening as time passed. It wasn't really a surprise. We three were choose carefully in order to be the best candidate, so that we would reach as close to as Raven's level of power as a mere Azarathian could. Of course that being said, our chances against her were slim at best, but they were there nonetheless." The younger girl explained, a smug smile still on her lips even after Leon had tided himself up and was back in his chair.
"I still do not do the understanding. Why is this in connect with Friend Raven doing the sneaking around not with our company?" Starfire asked.
Leon glanced at Raven. "Maybe we should first tell them the reason we brought you here and later explain the back-story?" He asked and the girl agreed.
"Lupe and Leon came to find me not just because I am the heir. They also brought me here after noticing that the only prisoner in Azarath's dungeons-where we were last night- had escaped. They need my help to catch him, since he is very dangerous and the last time he attacked us, he almost killed two members of the magistrate and was the reason for the previous Azar ultimately dying. That person was her other pupil, besides myself. It was Orion." Raven said, keeping her voice even and dull, as if distancing herself emotionally from the explanation. But towards the end, as she mentioned Orion by name, her voice cracked slightly
Robin noticed that her interlocked fingers were tense, the knuckles white from how tight she was holding them.
"What? And why didn't you tell us that sooner? We can help you find this guy!" Cyborg protested loudly, voicing what all the other Titans were thinking. The team was slightly annoyed but mostly concerned that Raven was yet again trying to fix something by herself.
Lupe huffed, drawing the attention of the teens on herself instead of the sorceress. At the sound of silence following her reaction, she raised an eyebrow. "I take it is correct to assume everyone is staring at me?" She asked and without waiting a reply continued.
"Well, her actions-although utterly fruitless in my opinion- were probably stemming from the fact that Orion is cuckoo crazy and immensely obsessed with our dear sweetness over here." She said, reaching out to pat Raven on the shoulder, her hand landing on her forearm instead.
"Yeah like we haven't dealt with obsessive behavior before..." Beast Boy commented and automatically every member of the Titans turned towards their leader.
Robin coughed, trying to not look nervous as all his teammates clearly recalled his pursuit of Slade. "How about we let them continue telling us what happened with Orion." He suggested and Raven nodded.
She decided to continue, telling them all what had happened 4 years ago, right before her 12th birthday.
"Today is the day, huh? Can't wrap my head around the fact we are going through the soul trial." Leon said, breaking the silence that had enveloped them for an hour as the four of the sat in the gardens inside the temple, waiting for Ozias to come fetch them.
"Well, I cannot even believe it has been already 5 years since we started our training, so we are at the same level there, Leon." Orion laughed and Raven felt his shoulders shake with the motion, as her head was resting on his left one.
The two others weren't bothered that she didn't seem to fond of them touching her. For 5 years she had trained with Orion side by side, under Azar's watchful eye. It was natural she had developed a familiarity with the older boy.
"Aren't any of you worried about the trial? Even magistrate as old as Phelan had trouble manifesting their soul self and we are expected to do it even though we are children." Lupe said nervously, her eyes cast towards the ground.
Lion shook his head. "I am not worried. We need to do this. Grandmother said we need to be the strongest we can get. We all agreed to do this for Raven." He said, smiling towards his half-sister.
The girl, despite her face remaining expressionless, couldn't stop her heart from skipping a beat at the sudden wave of adoration she felt coming her way from all three of her companions. She felt Orion grab her hand and turned to look the boy in the eyes.
"For Raven." He repeated, staring at her, and Raven could have sworn the grey of his eyes shined like liquid mercury.
"Wait, when you say soul self you mean the big black shadowy raven you turn into?" Cyborg interrupted.
"Yes, as you have already witnessed, we all three completed the trial. I found my lion, Lupe her wolf and Raven her raven." Leon explained, nodding as he did that.
"And what did you do to do the completing of this trial?" Starfire asked. Although somewhat familiar with Azarath from the teaching in her own planet, their magic system was unknown to most outsiders. She was curious to learn more about it.
"Well, Cyborg and Beast Boy have already experience with Nevermore, the manifestation of my own subconscious which I access when meditate. The soul trial includes the participant entering a deep state of meditation in order to manifest and enter their own subconscious. In there you basically have to reach your own core, in order to connect with your soul self." Raven explained and was ready to continue but Lupe interrupted her.
"You make it sound like a walk in the park. But to reach your soul self, you have to encounter every intrusive thought, fear and insecurity you have. And find your way through the maze of your subconscious. Many Azarathians who have undertook the trial either never woke up from their meditation or came to eventually, having gone complete insane or brain dead. We were lucky to survive through it the way we did!" She said, the tone of her voice rising as she spoke, her shoulders shaking ever so slightly as she tried to contain her anger.
"Lupe, calm down. We all had it bad with the trial. Even Raven , with her demonic side making her able to heal faster, was unconscious for a week before she came to." Leon said, trying to reassure the girl. But obviously the conversation had struck a nerve because her body couldn't stop shaking.
"Yeah and you came to after three days only to fall into a comma soon after, for five whole months. I lost my eyesight. And the worst, Orion ended up becoming a psycho because he was unable to maintain one soul form!"
Both Raven and Leon lowered their gaze at the reminder of the aftermath of the soul trial. The Titans, who had until that moment thought Lupe's blindness was from birth, turned and stared shocked at the younger girl. Her whole body was trembling, her sightless eyes glimmering with unshed tears.
In truth, she didn't regret undertaking the soul trial. She had completed it and was now one of the most prominent magistrate apprentice of the history of Azarath. She had come to terms with her blindness and how it was brought upon her long ago.
That did not stop her from feeling a sting of anger in her chest every-time she thought that in another life, they all would have grown up normal. She, Raven, Leon and Orion might have grown up, being able to enjoy their lost childhood.
Sometimes that thought was too much for her 14 year old self.
Beast Boy frowned deeply at the sight of the distraught girl. He knew what it felt to be forced to become something you didn't necessarily want. His parents had to choose between letting him die or saving him. He couldn't blame them for using their serum.
That did not stop him from wondering what life he would have if his parents had never been interested in those damn monkeys.
"Friend Lupe, I am deeply in the sad for what has been your experience of the trial of the soul." Starfire said, offering a caring smile to the girl, even though she couldn't see it.
"Thank you Starfire, but I do not nee-
Lupe froze in mid-sentence as she felt something heavy landing on her lap, fur tickling her arms. Everyone froze as well, staring at the green shape shifter, who, not knowing what else to do, had taken the form of a cat and laid on the girl's lap, hoping to comfort her.
Lupe coughed, her cheeks gaining a light pink hue as she awkwardly stroked the head of the green cat.
"Thank you, Beast Boy." She said and even though her voice came out as a whisper, everyone heard the sincerity in her tone. The shape shifter meowed. A few moments passed and when he could sense that her anxiety had leveled down, he jumped down on the floor in one swift move and morphed back to his natural form.
"Who knew little grass stain could act so maturely, huh?" Cyborg exclaimed jokingly, more to lessen the tension that had build up with Lupe's outburst, than to actually mock his best friend. He knew that despite him being rather immature and annoying at times, the younger boy cared deeply for those around him.
"How about you tell us what happened after the trial. You mentioned Orion was the only one to not complete it?" Robin asked, returning everyone's attention to their original topic. Raven nodded, a solemn shadow falling like a veil upon her face.
"He managed to wake up. But unlike all of us, when he was asked to change into his soul self, his form kept changing, like a liquefied fog. He couldn't change completely into one animal form." Raven explained. She caught sight of Leon winching at her words.
He was probably, like her, remembering Orion's angered yells after it became clear the trial was not successful.
"This is not that bad. Lupe had her soul self and they say Leon should wake up any day now. And I have much more control over my emotions since the trial. Maybe Azar won't mind you not reaching your soul self." Raven said as she watched Orion pace up and down. They were alone in the library. Leon was still unconscious from the trial and Andrastre had Lupe train extra hours, in order for her to learn what she needed, now that her sight was gone.
"You don't understand! You should have seen her face after an hour passed and I kept changing. Every time I thought that I finally had it, I changed again. And Azar's frown would grow deeper and deeper. Afterwards she didn't say a word! It was Arthur who told me to let them discuss and they would inform me soon! Inform me of what? That I am a failure? Like I didn't see it in the way they look at me."
Orion's face was flushed from his anger. He kept moving his arms around, his breath coming out loud and hurried.
Raven remained unaffected of his outburst. Even though she cared for him, deeply so, she kept remembering the times Azar had told her to keep her emotions in check.
She could not afford to feel anything for his situation.
"It has been two weeks since then. Don't you think that if they deemed you a failure from the start, they would have told you so that day even?" She said, tugging at the hem of her cloak in order not to reach out to him.
Orion turned his eyes towards her and Raven tensed, faced by his furious gaze.
She never liked it when he lost his temper.
"How can you have so much faith in them? Azar doesn't care about us. She just wαnts to prevent your destiny. Will she care for you after and if your sixteenth birthday come to pass!" He snapped at her, his face distorted from the uncontrollable rage he felt. Raven could feel his anger boiling like lava from his core and she flinched, both at his harsh word and his emotions
You could always remind him who is the most powerful…Maybe snapping his neck will make him realize he shouldn't snap at you..
Raven scoffed, chasing Rage's intrusive thoughts away. Ever since her soul trial, her emotions had become more prominent and solid In her subconscious. She didn't like it very much, maybe Azar will know of a way to ground her mind better in order to keep her Emoticlones, as she had named them in her mind, in check.
Rage's momentary distraction was enough for Orion to storm off before Raven could try to calm him down. The young sorceress sighed, suddenly enveloped in the quietness of the empty library. Her shoulders hunched forward and she dropped her face to her palms, elbows resting on her knee.
"If I had even considered back then that Orion would only get worse from there, I would have done something to stop him. I should have done something to stop him, before he went further down the rabbit hole. But back then, I thought he was just frustrated about being the only one not able to complete the trial. I couldn't have guessed what Azar would do next, which was the breaking point for him." Raven murmured gravely as she prepared herself for the final chapter of the story.
This would be the hardest part yet….
Realizing this was getting to long, I decided to add the end of Orion's back-story to my next chapter. Obviously I wanted to address many stuff in her, I didn't want it to just be a series of flashbacks. Not sure if I succeeded in keeping it interesting, let me know in the review.
Even though this fic is Raven-centered and ultimately RobRae ending, I still want to include little scenes with the other characters, both canon and OC's. I know a few might not be interested, but I wish to explore my writing skills and writing about different characters and their behavior will help me.