Chapter 9

After the Homecoming Dance I took Carly on a few more dates. I should say mom drove us to several different dates. We went out to eat, we went to the movies, and the last date we had we went to play mini golf. You could say the dance was our first official date with our first kiss, but I kinda count our second date as such. Mom was in the middle of driving us to get ice cream, while Carly and I talked in the back seat.

"Is it my turn?" She asked.

We were constantly playing this game of asking each other questions to figure out more about each other.

"Yeah go ahead." I replied.

"Okay...when it's all said and done in the end...what do you want to be remembered for?"

"Wow...I...I'd have to think about it. Remembered for? That's hard."

"Well...you know what I want to be remembered for?" She asked confidently.

"What's that?"

"I want to be remembered as the best girlfriend, wife, mother, and person anybody ever knew..."

"Wow that's a huge goal for yourself."

"Yeah...but I'm gonna do it...I'm already doing the first one, by being a great girlfriend...I assume you'd want the same.

"I suppose so."

"Then maybe you could try just a little harder." She whispered faintly.

"What?"

"Baby I'm not trying to be rude...do you believe relationships should be full of honesty?"

"Yeah. And I've never lied to you."

"Oh I know...what I'm trying to say is just honestly how I feel... You need to be more relaxed...more open...uh...flirt more...that's something that would make me happy."

"Oh...okay sorry Carls I...I didn't know I wasnt being flirty enough."

"That's okay...now you know."

I saw mom's eyes looking at me through the rearview mirror. I shrugged. Mom then dropped us off at the ice cream parlor.

"Come on Bryan! They got a new milkshake flavor!" Carly said excitedly and ran toward the door. I got leisurely got out and shut thr car door behind me.

"Bry..."

Mom motioned with her finger for me to come over to her window.

"Are you sure about you and Carly?"

"I...I don't know Momma, she's nice but she can be rude. Sometimes depending on where we are or who we're with she has different personalities. She...for a lack of a better word can be...two faced. Like I can't figure her out. She's beautiful though, and nice to talk to most of the time-"

"But do you love her?"

I looked down.

"Cause if you don't...you need to end this thing right now...it won't do her or you any good to lead her on."

"I'm not...she does make me happy...and we have a lot of fun together."

"Alright sweetheart...I won't say anything else if she makes you happy...but what about Rosie hun?"

"What about her? She's a Princess...that job is more important to her than me."

"You know that's not true."

"If it wasn't she'd be here."

"Sweetie I know you're hurt that she stayed behind but she had a very good reason too, I don't think you're being fair to her."

"I'm not being fair?!"

"Don't shout at me." Mom replied in a hushed tone. "And loose the attitude."

"Sorry..."

"No...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have got in the middle of you and Carly like that...she makes you happy...so I won't say anything else...I'll pick you both up by eight."

"Okay..."

She leaned out the window and pecked my cheek.

"Have a good time...Bye honey, love you son."

"Love you too. Bye mom."

She smiled at me and left. I sighed heavily and entered the parlor.

"Bry! Over here!"

Carly waved and motioned for me to sit down at a booth. I took a seat across from her.

"What kept you?"

"Mom...she wanted to talk."

"Oh...well I ordered us each a chocolate chocolate milkshake."

"Thanks Carls."

She smiled shyly as she took a sip from her shake.

"It's so good! I mean it better be for four dollars. You owe me eight dollars and 70 cents."

"Oh...okay."

She smiled happily and stuck out her hand. I sighed and took out my wallet. She wanted me to pay her back right at that moment.

"Go ahead...try it."

"I don't know Carly...that's a lot of sugar..."

"I always forget your anemic."

"Diabetic."

"Yeah...but I'm sure a little won't hurt you."

"I don't know...it might send my sugar through the roof..."

"Please...I bought it just for you."

"Alright."

I took a sip.

"Isn't it delious!"

"It's great."

"Hey after this you want to walk over to the mall?"

"I told Mom we were just getting shakes."

"Mom again? Stop being such a momma's boy and let's have some fun!"

"I..." I sighed.

"It's totally fine...we can go to the mall and come back here before eight."

"Sure."

"Awesome!"

We finished our ice cream. I more or less took a few small sips of my shake. As the night went on I could feel my blood sugar spiking. At the mall Carly walked next to me holding my arm. She stayed tight to my side. It kinda felt like I was a prize and she was showing me off to everyone in town. Occasionally she kissed my cheek. Due to my sugar I began to get short of breath as we walked. My stomach tightened. I felt thirst beyond my belief.

"Hey Carly can we go get a drink at the food court?"

"Sure!"

I got myself some water, but it didn't quench my thirst. My mouth felt so dry. I then took Carly around to several different shops. She had me buy her some new shoes, a dress, and a perfume. Each purchase she'd say:

"I have the best boyfriend ever!"

We went back to the food court for something else to drink. I bought her a giant cookie.

"This has been so fun!"

She then caught a few girls looking at me. She glared at them and stroked my hand. I wasn't sure how to take that gesture. She often was jealous of other girls just looking at me. Even her own best friend Lola made her cling to me more. I was her property.

"Bry...you want a bite of my cookie?"

"That's okay...I'm fine." I replied as I drank my water. She beamed a bright smile at me.

"What is this? Like our 4th or 5th date? I can't believe you haven't asked me to have sex yet."

I gasped and knocked over my water.

"Bryan!"

"Sorry that just startled me!"

I jumped up and grabbed some napkins and began wiping up the table.

"Let me help you babe."

Carly grabbed some napkins and got on her knees. Some of it was in the floor, and most of it was on the front of my pants.

"Sorry Bry...it's just most guys I've dated usually have sex with me around this time..." She retorted as she got the water off the floor.

"I...I'm just not that type of guy Carly...and I-"

I paused. I felt her hand on my thigh. She began trying to wipe the water off my pants. My body trembled. You could clearly see my bulge in my jeans. Carly wiped her napkin on top of it toward my stomach. She slowly looked up at me.

"Uh...it...it's okay it's just water...it'll dry." I explained.

She nodded and sat back down. Her face was super red. I couldn't believe that she felt more embarrassed than me. I had a hard on in the middle of the mall food court. I sat down and crossed my legs.

"Sorry...I was just trying to help."

"No...I'm sorry... I shouldn't have spilled my drink."

Later that night after our date. I kept thinking about that moment and what she said. I couldn't believe that men just take advantage of her like that. But was I taking advantage of her in a different way? She clearly wanted me all to herself. She's brutally honest, conceited, clingly, and sometimes jealous; but she loved me. She loves me enough to want all of me. She trust me that much. I groaned and rolled over on my side in bed.

I didn't know how to cope with my separation with Rosie. Maybe what we had was just a crush. A fling and nothing more. I mean we did at one point think the other would die during our battle. Maybe we got caught up in the heat of the moment. Carly is obligated to no one but me. My sexual desires are also in full force. In my fake vision I casted, I saw Margolas's on top of Rosie and that made me sick. Although did it make me sick because I really do love her or because of my hormones? Did I want Carly the same way? I never had a girl's delicate hand on my groin before. I liked it, but because I liked it; does that make me as bad as Stan or some of the other guys Carly has dated and slept with?

I groaned in frustration.

If that was the case maybe Rosie is better off without me. I miss her though. That vision of mine is going to happen. I just don't know when. Maybe I truly am leading Carly on, and betraying Rosie. Oh, I don't know! I'm just a terrible person. Right now honestly it sucks. It really sucks. I think about Rosie more now then before if thats even possible. I just want to make things right. I turned over on my stomach and tried helplessly to go to sleep. Another day with Carly, another day without Rosie, and another day of my intrusive thoughts starts tomorrow.