Team
Falmouth Falcons
Position
Chaser 1
Main Prompt
One half of your OTP is caught up on leftover baggage from a past relationship
Optional Prompts
Word - Romance
Word - Irreversible
Setting - a park
Word Count
1,089
Remus sighed as he woke up, despite having gone to bed early the night before he had not slept well. He rarely slept at all these days and when he did it was fretful and short.
Every time he closed his eyes he dreamed of that day more than a year ago now when it felt like his world had ended, the day he had lost his best friend.
He had tried to move on, tried to seem okay, but the deeper he plunged into forging new bonds the more the old wounds would hurt.
Remus sighed again and finally pushed himself up from the bed, this took more effort than it should for a man who was not yet 40, but he had survived much in his life, more than most people twice his age, and in the end it had taken it's toll.
He stretched his arms over his head with a wince in an attempt to work some of the stiffness from his joints, but it didn't help much, there was little that did still work to numb his pain.
He got dressed in slightly less formal attire than usual and grabbed his notebook before quietly leaving the house.
He wasn't ready to face her this morning, needing time to himself first to think. The night before she had brought up how distant he was becoming and the werewolf hadn't had a reply, knowing that it was true.
He paused at the entrance to a park, it was at a place very much like this where he had played often with his friends as a boy, and at yet another where he had discovered the meaning of romance as a young man.
The familiar setting held so many memories for him and he hoped that one of them might be able to tell him what to do now.
He walked slowly through the winding paths until he found a quiet spot under a tree, he lowered himself onto the shaded grass before leaning up against the trunk. He started to flip through the book in search of a free page, his normally neat writing was little more than random squiggles here for this was where he recorded is emotions when he found that too many thoughts were buzzing around inside.
He spent a lot of time writing these days, no longer having anyone that he could talk so easily to, not even when he spoke to the girl who had accepted him as a lover did the words flow as freely as they once had with his childhood friends.
He had truly come to care about her and as he wrote out everything Remus realized that he would likely just hurt her more if he were allowed to stay.
His life was far too complicated already and it would always be that way, he would never be able to love her like he had loved the one he lost and that wasn't fair to her, she should be able to live a life free from worry and free from him.
He spent a few hours in the quiet park as he finally came to a decision and it was just before lunch when he finally left to return home.
Tonks greeted him with a smile an a simple "welcome home," she no longer asked many questions, having grown used to him sneaking off like that. When she went to kiss him however she frowned as he turned his head, "what's wrong?" She asked gently.
"I have to leave," he replied softly, not able to make himself look at her.
"Is it a mission?" She asked as she went back to the kitchen to finish making lunch, "how long will you be gone this time?"
He had started up the stairs and paused to respond, "it's not a mission, I won't be coming back," he told her before continuing to his room.
Remus started to pack up the few belongings he had, it shouldn't have taken long but he went slow and took his time. The last thing he took down was a picture of him and his friends, he couldn't remember being that happy since and maybe that was what he was longing for in he end, the feelings he had felt back then.
Remus made his way back downstairs and Tonks wasn't anywhere to be found but there was a plate for him on the counter, he sat down to eat and write her a note.
Tonks,
I'm sorry that it didn't work out but it is better this way, for both of us.
Remus
Even as he left the house a few minutes later he had no idea where he was going to go, the cottage that he had once called home no longer stood, but he still felt like this was he right thing to do.
She couldn't bring herself to face him after hearing those words so the girl had retired to her room once she had made him a plate. Despite everything he might have thought about himself or their relationship she really did love him and that was why she forced herself to just let him leave.
Tonks had known that Remus was suffering, he had been for a long time, maybe even before they met, but she had thought that she might be able to help him.
Maybe that was why she was crying now, not entirely because it was over but because she couldn't do anything to help him after all.
She had known how close Remus and Sirius had been and that the werewolf was hurt by her cousins death, but she hadn't realized just how deep that pain had run. Watching he closest thing to family he had disappear had broken him but Tonks was just now noticing that it probably did irreversible damage to the part of him that loved, closing off the barriers to his heart that had been so tentatively opened when he was reunited with his friend.
Upon hearing the door open below Tonks went to the window and rested a hand against the glass as she watched him.
"I'm sorry," she said softy as fresh tears glittered on her lashes, "in the end I just couldn't fill he hole in your heart."
She didn't take her eyes off the male until he disappeared completely from her sight, even now she decided to always be there for him if he were to ever ask her for help in the future.