Author Note: Hey guys. It's been what...maybe three or four months since we last spoke. First off I want to apologize for what happened. I kind of abandoned all of you. Im sorry but I was going through some shit at home and was having some difficulties with school. I was struggling and I didn't know what else to do. I was in the kind of headspace which I felt that everything I did was "Shit" and how I was a "Failure." Though, now I'm doing way better and have been exceeding in school. I have the confidence again to start writing. I know that what happened before was wrong and I should of told you guys where I went and not disappeared off the face of the planet not once but twice. Though, I want you all to know how grateful I am to all those that have read my stories. I am honestly sorry. Listen, I want to be a better author and I will continue writing and I PROMISE YOU that this will never happen again. Thank you for reading. Before anyone ask Dead Space is going to be started up again. That flame which I had for React Fic's is still there and has only gotten stronger since I had left. You'll get your chapter 4 soon so don't you worry. Thank you guys. Please remember to favorite, follow and review it greatly helps with my motivation. Have a wonderful and awesome day.

Chapter 1

Subaru's bare feet clamped along the mud. The rain slicking back his hair as the boy could only move forward through the dense forest, his hands wiping the strands of plastered hair that stuck to his forehead.

His eyes were simply focused ahead. "Just run…run!" The boy cried out. His eyes hollow and tears leaking down his face, the rain biting into the welts and bruises littered all over his body.

Subaru was only wearing his morning robes, now ripped beyond repair. Subaru's flailing leg tripped underneath a piece of a discarded tree in the forest, the poor boy flying as he slammed face first into the wet dirt.

Subaru's hands went to his sides as he tried to lift himself up. He was lucky that he was able to escape from them, he was lucky that they decided to give up on him without even killing him. He had to keep moving, if he did not who knows how far they would have had went?

Though, tears cascaded down his face. Subaru slamming his eyes shut as he felt his body grow more tired, sinking deep into the mud as Subaru felt the weight of everything come at him in full force.

Why? The boy's thoughts dragging him somewhere else, his hands going to his head as pained sobs echoed through the clearing.

"How could Rem ever love someone like you?"

Subaru's hands clasped along his ears. Nearly striking them as the echo reverberated his ear drums as a pain shot through them, though it could not compare to the words that hurt him even worse.

"Natsuki, you are only around because we pity you."

He slammed his hands along his eardrums. Trying to silence their voices as the boy could only writhe on the ground, his pained moans from their feet and punches that would follow their words. Permanent reminders of what they did to him, how could he forget this?

"You were never worth my time…"

"To think you were the man that could save sanctuary."

"How could anyone ever love you…"

There words were what broke him the most. "I did everything for them…all I ever did, was for us to all to smile. For all of us to…" Subaru gasped. His hands going to the side of his head as he wailed in the rain. His eyes clouded as all he could do was scream.

'Why…why did it have to happen like this? I did not do anything wrong, I fought for them, I protected them! I know I am pathetic and weak, how I never deserved to stand by their side but at least. I wanted Emilia to be…'

"How could I ever wish for someone like you. A monster, to ever want to stand by my side."

Those were Emilia's words towards Subaru. His nose was bleeding as he threw his face into the harsh mud, his clothes getting dirtied as the raging storm blown all around him.

Subaru's breathing stopped…his eyes going around his surroundings. "I want to die…"

Those four words emptied from Subaru's mouth. His blank expression contorting his facial features as the boy just stared around. His hands gasping into the air as he wanted to die, believing in his sick and diseased mind that if he reset that he could fix what happened.

Maybe wake up early and make them all breakfast. Work way harder than before on his chores around the mansion, he will try two times harder…. maybe even three times harder.

A small flash of a sickening smile spread across the young man's face. 'I will end it, and I will be the hero they need, I will work harder and harder than ever before.'

Subaru got up. Limping deeper into the forest as he gazed at anything that would cause fatal damage to a human, though he felt sick thinking about it. Though, he threw up that smile. "I can fix this…"

His words came out jarred and mangled like a stray mutt. Though, he pushed on deeper and deeper until…he collapsed onto his knees as he stared down…

A corpse…in the forest. He has walked so far through the forest that he stumbled upon one of the corpses of sloth's followers. The faint dark cowl of the witch cult garment was a grim reminder of the suffering he had to go through, the suffering that he had to go through…only he had to go through such suffering.

He shook his head as his eyes trained onto something faintly piercing from the earth. The strange end of a short blade, Subaru's bruised fingers neatly clawed through the harsh mud. The cracks of thunder echoing around him as the boy held it…

The blade rested in Subaru's two hands. His hands shaking in fear…of what will come after. More tears fell and cradled his sore cheeks as the bits of memories began clawing into him.

'How did it end up like this? I was slothful before…but I tried to change, I wanted to change.'

Memories of his family came into view. The fierce pains of guilt forming as he remembered his mother and his father. There smiles, there warmth…

As the end of the broken blade began to prick into his neck. His ears picked up a faint sound, Subaru's gaze narrowed as his nasty eyes stared around the perimeter of the forest trees.

'Garf, Rem or Ram?'

The boy's eyes opened in fear. Memories of the horrors they exposed to him in the prior loops, fear beginning to consume the confounds of his mind. Were they hoping to finish the job?

The bruises along his body and the cuts ingrained into him that would form new scars. His body tensing up until…

A girl…shorter than him. Her strange silver hair falling down her back as Subaru could only stare in shock at the strange figure, though it was her aura that Subaru could feel. Maybe it was all this time that he lived in this horrible world that sent off his danger senses.

Subaru could feel it. The danger that this figure could present, though as he stared at her. The blade slowly began to fall. "What do you want!" The boy howled towards the figure.

His hands were still griped around the blade. Subaru nearly barreled into a laughing fit…what was he going to do with a sword. A brief memory of the duel with Julius resurfaced his mind, the blade nearly clamoring into the dirt beneath him.

'I am weak…there is nothing I can do in this world.'

"Natsuki Subaru."

The voice was pitched, uncomfortable to Subaru's ears but the blade still halted. Almost like he could not even move it.

The figure moved closer to him. The boy still frozen and on his knees as the blade pricked into his neck as he tried to speak. 'What is this…terror?' Subaru thought as he was still feeling the blade along his throat. 'How…I never felt this against anyone, so frozen to the point where I can hardly even move my fingers.'

This person…this girl not even of his stature terrified Subaru to the point that he could hardly move, the absolute power that this girl radiated frightened the boy.

"Subaru, why are you doing such a thing?"

The boy refused to speak. His body frozen in time as his eyes could only widen. This woman knew his name. What was she doing on the Margrave estate? She must have had been here for a long time, though how did she not get caught by Beatrice?

"Please, speak…"

The young boy exhaled as he finally could breathe. The command revibrating his body as he nearly threw up from the immense pressure.

"I failed…my friends…they hate me. I did something wrong, but I can…I can…"

The lone figure, she kneeled to Subaru's level as her strange eyes stared into the side of Subaru's head. Her eyes feeling like lasers as Subaru could only peer straight ahead in fear, his body refusing any of his commands to run or to slam the blade into his neck.

"That seems awfully horrible of them…for someone to sacrifice themselves over and over again. To die for them, to live through such horrors…for them to say those truly horrible things to him."

Subaru…

His neck craned as his eyes connected with the figure. A faint grin formed across her face as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"How do you know that?"

"I know more than you think…"

Subaru could only look on. This figure…this person. No, Subaru was smart enough to realize that this was not a normal person. This figure was wearing some sort of light blue poncho, her strange face and eyes creeping into him like a core as he struggled to look away.

"Subaru, these people that you protect…they never cared about you."

"Your wrong…your wrong…I did something wrong before. They had no reason to trust me, I need to reset and fix everything!" Subaru clamored; the blade still halted as he was forced into hearing the words of the strange woman.

Subaru could only stare…unmoving and powerless as always, though now…he truly did not have anyone willing to help him.

"They never loved you…how could they. They are each monster… beings that brutally murdered a boy not even of eighteen. Didn't the oni torture you?"

A fierce pain shot through Subaru's leg. The memory of her weapon cleaving it off him and torturing him on that hill. "Rem…it was a mistake. She loves me?" He spoke out loud rushing to Rem's defense. The face of the oni that saved and fought for him after that loop, though there was something different.

The pitch of Subaru's voice changed…almost like he was unsure of those very same words he sprouted, or maybe he did not even believe them anymore.

"Are you sure?" The figure whispered into his ear. Her nose poking into the side of his head as Subaru grinded his teeth together.

"I know…" He gasped out, though there was that pitch again. That horrible feeling brewing within, the figure slowly planting the seeds of doubt into Subaru as the memories began to come at him full force.

"How could I ever love a man such as yourself!"

Subaru's teeth sunk into his lip drawing crimson. The horrible memories coming to him, he sacrificed everything for them. His life, his goals and even his sanity. He could not even sleep anymore due to the horrible nightmares he had to go through.

"If she did then why did she hurt you…today?"

The feeling of Rem's fist along his stomach shot through him like vines. The weight nearly sending him to the floor, the sickening feeling of nausea welling in his throat. "Because I messed up somehow, I fucked up along the way today. I don't know how but I…"

"You didn't, Subaru. There true feelings for you just shone…"

Subaru's eyes opened. "There true feelings…shone?" He repeated to himself. A part of him knew this, there smiles and laughter…a small part of him knew that it had to be fake, how could anyone ever love him or like him!

He was far too weak…he was always needing others to come in and clean up messes. To them he must have had looked like a freeloader, a good for nothing degenerate that was not even worth their time.

"All their smiles…were fake." Subaru at that moment, his eyes opened. Though, the figures lips curled into a satisfied grin.

"I want to be strong…I never asked for any of this. I didn't ask for the ability to return by death, out of all the abilities gifted to me, why did I receive such a horrible ability!"

Tears fell like spent raindrops as Subaru could only scream. Screaming at the world and his own uselessness as he felt pieces of his soul begin to break. "There is nothing in this world for me anymore!"

The figure stood up. She walked gracefully in front of Subaru as the young boy could only see through his tears.

A hazy screen displayed as it's whispering cloud of blue energy shone. "What is this?"

A brief image shown of two distinct figures. There bodies hung along a table, a strange mist formed along the image as Subaru's eyes widened in alarm. "Mom…dad!" Subaru screamed out into the screen. The two figures stirred as they ran towards the image.

"Subaru!" His mother screamed. Her body pushing from the table as she ran towards the screen.

His father's eyes widened. His body following less in pursuit from the shock of seeing his son after all this time. Though, his eyes connected with the blade that his son held along his very own throat. "Subaru, please put down the knife…please just tell us where you are and we will come get you!"

The knife clattered into the mud as Subaru lunged towards the screen. Though, the screen began to slowly diminish in size.

Subaru began to move through the mud, his legs refusing to cooperate as his robe began drenched in mud and dirt. "Subaru, stay strong!" His father cried out; his father's hand planted onto the screen as he fought desperately to reach his son.

"Subaru…please come back to us!"

…and with those final words the screen completely collapsed. Subaru stopped moving, his right hand aimed towards where the screen once was. His nasty eyes empty as he could not even comprehend what happened. It was almost there…home.

"Listen, Subaru. I have the power to bring you back home. I can send you back to the world which Envy stole you from…you can have a future there; this isn't your world."

Subaru turned around to the figure. Lifting his body up as he bowed to the figure, his eyes locked to the floor as his knees connected to the mud. "Please…I am begging you, there is nothing here for me anymore."

"Good…"

She reached behind her back. A familiar book with a strange cover over it, a darkness emanated from the strange item. Subaru grasped it in his hands as his eyes opened.

"If you seek to go back to your world…to see your parents again…to live your life that was ripped away from you…"

She kneeled once again, offering him her hand to grasp.

"Become my Sin archbishop of Envy…"

Subaru knew the chaos such words were…what they could result in and what he would need to become. Though, Subaru…broken, damaged and deprived from sleep could hardly think. His mind only focused on the parents and the possibility of coming back home.

"I…I…I accept."

Though as he grasped her hand the figure already knew that Subaru was too strong. How before he would be turned into the warrior he would need to become; the boy would need to be broken and turned into the warrior that the witch cult so desperately needed.

So, he walked with the girl. Subaru, turning his gaze back towards the mansion. Seeing the lights sparkle as the figures inside so frantically moved casting off their shadows.

Subaru then took a step forward, and then another. Pushing forth on a journey that would not result in placing Emilia on the throne, rather…a journey to head back home.