Author's notes: Hi guys, this is my first fanfiction I have ever posted publicly. I was planning to make it a short story, but if you want me to extend it, feel free to leave your feedbacks. So bear with me and please, Enjoy!
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction using characters from Bungou Stray Dogs, which was written by Kafka Asagiri and Illustrated by Sango Harukawa. I do not own any of the canon characters here. I only borrowed them.
Warning! May contain signs of depression. Skip this now if you are sensitive about this.
In a small, dimly lit room, Luna was lying awake on her bed, tossing and turning, while struggling to fall asleep. Her anxiety kicked in the moment she recalled her unwanted past. She didn't want to relieve those painful memories, but she has no control over her own mind, not giving her a single break. She's tired and restless from having the same thoughts and feeling, over and over again. Her sleepless nights did not end, nor were they any less diminished, and it got to the point where she has to depend on sleeping pills. She thought she got better, but apparently not. She was knocked down again as soon as she got back on her feet. She realized she couldn't climb anymore, not when her feet was stuck at the bottom. So she thought she's better off when she's not resisting at all.
The wall clock was glaring down at her, its ticking sound tells her she's been awake for the passed three hours now since she started to crawl onto her bed.
When was the last time I had a good sleep? Was it last week? Or last month? Luna pondered while she was staring at the ceiling. Even though her head was pounding from the lack of sleep, she still didn't want to rely on the sleeping pills. It was the last thing she wanted since it gives her a woozy feeling everytime she wakes up, but she didn't have a choice, It was the only way to make her eyes shut, that's why she swallowed two pills, then she pulled the covers over her head and waited for them to work.
"I look horrible," Luna groaned when she saw herself in the bathroom mirror. She just woke up, yet her body felt worn out. Her long, thick red hair was all over the place, her face was swollen, her skin was dry, and there's a dark circles under her eyes. She looked ill. She looked worst, but despite that, she still didn't want to see a therapist because she already lost all hope.
Luna starts off her morning routine by taking a cold shower to wake her tired soul. Next, she made herself a black coffee with 3 tablespoons of brown sugar, and lastly she dressed herself for work. No amount of food has made its way through her system, only caffeine, the only thing that makes her active for a day.
Being an emergency dispatcher made her life a lot easier. She could come and go to her workplace without engaging in long talks. Albeit unhappy, she couldn't avoid pleasantries without smiling.
Now that I looked ill, It's even better to avoid them. I don't need another attention, Luna sighed. She snapped out of her thoughts when a call went through her line.
"119, what's your emergency?" Luna said, straightening her back while she sat upright.
A child's voice could be heard at the end of the line, crying and calling for help. "Please help us! We're trapped! W-we can't get out! The house is on fire!" Said the panicking child.
"Calm down, what's your location?" Luna asked in a calm manner.
"S-shinjuku, um- Tenmari, near Tenmari pet store," the child sobbed, "please hurry! Please."
"Okay, calm down. Help is on its way," Luna comforted. "What's your name? Please tell me your name."
The child whimpered and coughed, "Yamamoto Misaki. Please help us."
As soon as Luna heard the coughs from the other line, she stood up immediately from her chair and called her superior. "Nozomi-san! A fire broke out inside the house of Yamamoto. They were trapped and their mother was wounded."
"Pass it to me," Nozomi Hidaka, Luna's superior, beckoned her.
When life is in danger, the Emergency Dispatcher Services or EDS will dispatch a rescue squad including medical services, and that's what Nozomi did. Once she received the call, she hit the golden hour buzzer and called out the rescue team. The chances of survival depends on how quickly they will respond to the situation, and how quickly the rescue team will arrive at the location. Fortunately, in less than an hour, the Fire and Rescue Team or FRT, came and saved the trapped families inside their burning house. Another family was saved again, thanks to everyone's quick response.
During their break, Nozomi stayed in the office to do other tasks. She takes a break from time to time while she eats her packed lunch. She often does that, even though the emergency call center usually employs agents on a shift basis since their services are always online 24/7. Just that she thought her assistance will be needed in case another life-threatening call turns up.
Nozomi stood up from her seat to refill her water bottle at the pantry room. Upon returning to her desk, she choked on her drink the moment she saw Luna leaning against the wall, in her usual sluggish posture, outside the pantry room.
"What in Jesus name are you doing there?" Nozomi gasped.
Luna let out a loud, weary sigh. "Waiting for you," she said with her empty eyes.
"Do you need something from me?" Nozomi asked in concern.
"No," Luna replied and walked inside the pantry to make herself a coffee.
Nozomi noticed her lifeless footsteps and her repeated weary sighs. She walked back inside the room and moved closer to Luna's direction. "Having a hard time?" Nozomi slapped her hunched back from behind.
"Jesus!" Luna blurted in surprise and almost spilled her coffee. "Nozomi-san!" She glared at her.
"Oops, sorry." Nozomi grinned and waved her hand sheepishly.
Luna sighed again. She turned around to leave but Nozomi stopped her, blocking her way. Luna stopped her tracks and let out another frustrated sigh. "What now?" She said, exasperated.
"Why are you here?" Nozomi said. "You are supposed to be taking a break at the canteen."
"Supposed but not required," Luna stated. "Why are you here?"
"Why don't you join them at the canteen? " Nozomi asked, ignoring her remarks.
"Why don't you?" Luna returned.
Nozomi frowned in disappointment. "Luna, please. Stop ignoring everyone. Stop ignoring me. Join them during your break, have long talks and- "
"You can't make me, Nozomi-san. You can't. So please, move." Luna said firmly, not yielding to her superior's coaxing. "Don't you need to return too?"
Nozomi stood firmly, still blocking her way. "You did a good job earlier, Luna, and I-"
"It's not me," Luna said, "it's you who did good back there. So, again. Please, let me through."
"No," Nozomi maintained, not letting her leave. "You see, Luna, what troubles you might affect your performance at work, so if you're not willing to tell me your problems then I will force you to open up to me and-"
"I don't have troubles. You're imagining things-"
"Don't bull-don't lie to me. I mean, look at you, you're… you don't look okay, you're not fine at all. You keep sighing as if your too tired to even breathe-"
"Nozomi-san, please-"
"-or even lift a finger. I'm afraid you might collapse at any time and I couldn't just ignore it. I could not." Nozomi said in one breath, worry washed over her face.
Luna fell silent. She lowered her head with hesitant eyes, and whispered, "I tried not to be obvious, but you caught me." Then she raised her head and looked directly into Nozomi's eyes. "Are you happy now?"
"Please don't interpret my words however you want. You know that's not my intention. I never meant to make you feel bad. So, please, tell me," Nozomi urged her, but Luna didn't waiver. So she sighed and let go. "Fine. Then how about you take a leave? A vacation leave for instance. Just take a break."
Vacation leave sounds good, but I don't want to stay at the house and have my mind running wild again. I need distraction. I need this, Luna thought. Then she shook her head, and said, "no thanks. I really have no problems, Nozomi-san. Vacation leave sounds good, but I'm okay. I really am okay. So just save it for now," she declined with a forced smile.
Nozomi stared at her for a brief seconds. Liar, she thought when Luna gave her a fake smile. She pinched Luna's freckled cheeks and said, "alright, I will. But just so you know, I already heard rumors about you. They said you never accept any invites from them whenever they ask you for an after-work drink."
"Ugh, why would I? Are they my friends?" Luna scoffed, as she took Nozomi's hands off her face. "They can spread rumors for as long as they like, and I will ignore them for the rest of my life," she added, I don't even like people, she made a face.
"Okay, I'll leave you to your business, but keep in mind that that kind of attitude will make you a lone wolf for lifetime," Nozomi warned her. "Don't say I didn't warn you," she added, then she walked out and went back to her desk.
"I already lived in seclusion," Luna muttered under her breath. She frowned at her coffee. I hate cold coffee, Nobody wants them cold, especially when it's winter. With a heavy sigh, she turned around and made a new one. Then she walked back to her desk, put on her headset and continued to serve to the public.
When the sun goes down, everyone has started to take their leave. Luna waited until everyone else is gone before she leaves the office. It was pitch black outside when she stepped out of the building. She glanced at her watch and saw it was past 9 already. She thought It's impossible to cook dinner at this hour, so she decided to go to the nearest convenience store. While walking down the street, Luna heard a car's horn. She looked sideways to see if someone dared to catcall her, only to find out that it wasn't a pervert, it was her superior. She recognized Nozomi's red Toyota Corolla under a big oak tree, though what caught her attention was the bobblehead figure of Groot on her dashboard.
"Going to a convenience store again?" Nozomi asked after she rolled her window down.
Luna raised her eyebrow. "How did you know?" She said and heard her chuckled.
"Oh Luna, I knew you like the back of my hand and that's the direction of your favorite convenience store, you know," Nozomi explained, pointing at the Lowson store, two blocks away from their direction.
Luna blinked, Did she follow me all the way here? Was she spying on me? Or… "Am I that predictable?" She said out loud, unaware.
"Yes, you are very predictable," Nozomi said.
Stunned, Luna blushed and muttered, "Did I say that out loud?"
"Yes, you did, just now," Nozomi said while looking at her confused face. "Do you realize you occasionally talk to yourself when you're in deep thought?" She continued.
Luna clutched her growling stomach and said, "I didn't know," and thought, I'll take note of that.
"Looks like being a recluse has its own downside," Nozomi teased her. "Hop on, I'll take you there," she offered before Luna could say any side remarks.
"Thanks," Luna accepted her offer and climbed onto the car as she sat down beside her.
They drove past the bridge in complete silence. Inside the car, Luna was fumbling onto her seat belt, she bit her lip, and said, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier, Nozomi-san."
Nozomi looked at her from the rearview mirror. "Why so sudden?" She asked.
Luna grasped tightly on her seat belt and whispered, "I just felt like it."
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Nozomi said.
"I said I just felt like it!" Luna repeated with her eyes shut.
Surprised, Nozomi said. "Oh, it's okay. I already forgot about it."
Luna hung her head low, and said, "I know I acted mean sometimes, but that's because of my problems, and I didn't intend-"
"So, you do have problems." Nozomi chimed in, smiling widely.
Luna froze on her seat, her brain has stopped working for a second. Then it hit her. "Ugh, fudge it!" She moaned, burying her head in her hands.
"See? That's what I'm talking about!" Nozomi chortled at her obliviousness. "I told you, you need friends."
"No, thanks. I'm fine," Luna declined and let out a heavy sigh.
Concern washed over Nozomi's face, she whispered, "I knew you have problems. In fact, everyone could telljust by looking at your face. You look dead to me, Luna. Why don't you tell me your troubles? Let it all out and you'll be fine."
What's the use? You wouldn't even understand me anyway. Luna frowned in an instant and her mood turned sour.
The silence she gave only proved the seriousness of her problems. Worried, Nozomi tapped her left shoulder and said, "Luna, you can talk to me. I'm here to listen."
Right then, Luna felt a sting of tears in her eyes, her emotions was stirred. Those words were the exact words her so-called friends told her when she was down. In fact, those same words were the very reason why her trust was completely shuttered, the reason why she had stopped believing in anything. She didn't want it right now, not when she felt weak, and not when she was close to emotional breakdown. So she brushed her off, and said, "stop the car. Open the door, please, I want to get out now!" She panicked. She took off her seat belt and grasped the door handle, her breathing quickens, as tears welled up in her eyes, streaming down her face.
Nozomi managed to pull over the car before they could get into an accident. "Luna. Hey, calm down. It's okay, it's okay," she comforted her.
"No, no, no, no-open the door. Open the door!" Luna said while gasping for air.
"Hey, Luna. Look at me, look at me. Calm down, Luna, calm down." Nozomi tried to minimize her rapid breathing as soon as she realized Luna was hyperventilating. She hurriedly searched for any plastic or bag she could breathe into. What she found was a brown paper bag underneath the stacked files on the passenger seat. She gave it to Luna and told her to breathe there. "Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale, that's right. Good," she said while massaging her arms and back.
"Sorry," Luna said, after the commotion and the breathing exercise.
"It's alright, Luna," Nozomi said while massaging her fingers. The look of worry showed on her face. "If you have problems, you can tell me. Let out all your troubles, Luna. I'm really worried about you. You looked so different now, unlike before."
Indeed. And I did it to myself, Luna thought, dejected.
As a matter of fact, Luna Watson was known for her weird addictions in true crimes and unsolved mysteries in her workplace. It's why she's working as an emergency dispatcher, helping people and stopping crimes as often as possible. She feels relieved every time she helps people, but these past few weeks were different. Her passion for watching crime series became dull as she grew impassive towards it. Her seemingly bright, baby blue eyes turned bleak and lifeless. Her head was always hung low. Her radiant box-smile had changed into a morose tight-lipped smile. She became less passionate towards her job, and she isolated herself from everyone else. All in all, she changed completely the moment she had lost all hope from fighting her own demons.
The drastic changes in her attitude and appearance had received whispers and glances from the people at her workplace. The rumors about her being cold and distant had started to circulate among her peers. They said she had changed, that she's too hard to please now, that she became so unwilling to every invite. They also said her obsession for crime shows had earned her two, dark bags under her eyes, and it made her look very tired. In return, she had built more barriers around her heart, closing her doors permanently, never trusting another word again.
"I'm fine now, Nozomi-san. Thank you for your worries." Luna declined her help with a forced smile. She opened the car door, but she was stopped by her superior.
"Luna, wait. Please. I need you to talk to me-that's an order," Nozomi said while holding onto her arm.
"That's unfair, Nozomi-san. That's an abuse of power," Luna frowned.
"I know, but if that's the only way to make you talk, then I'll do it over again," Nozomi firmly said, letting go of her arm.
Luna felt unease. She rubbed her arm, "but still, I cannot-"
"Luna, please. Allow me to help you. If I can't help a friend, then there's no meaning for me being a so-called hero. Why am I still working as an emergency dispatcher when I can't simply manage to listen to your problems? So, tell me, talk to me," Nozomi begged, eyes filled with concern.
The sincerity in her superior's voice made her feel worse. Her minds says she will regret it, but her heart tells her to give it a chance. She didn't want another empty words and promises again, yet there's the tiniest part in her heart that wanted a change.
"Luna," Nozomi pleaded, "please Luna-"
"Alright," Luna said without looking at her. She thought about giving it a try, but this time, with a lower expectation. So she said, "I will try, but not right now," she paused, "maybe tomorrow?"
"Yes! Tomorrow sounds good to me!" Nozomi beamed with great joy. Then she said, "how about we go and eat at the Fujiko Café after work?"
Luna nodded softly. "Okay."
Finally, I got to her. Thank God I was born tenacious! Nozomi smiled, and with her persistence, she managed to drop Luna off to the convenience store near her apartment.
It was a 15 minute-walk from the convenience store to her apartment. Her usual store-bought dinner was always a set of gyudon and a piece of banana. Upon waiting in queue, she looked back at her conversations with her boss, she prayed, This time, for sure, It will be different, hopefully, Then she paid her food and walked outside the store.
Luna was looking at the sky while trudging through a narrowed street. "Maybe I can sleep better this time, under this dark, dark sky," she breathed. "Too bad there were no stars to accompany me tonight," she sighed with a dejected face. The thought of being alone again made her feel unease. Her empty stomach began to churn from the stress and anxiety. The voices inside her head was talking to her again. Right then, she slapped face hard to shut her mind for good. Then, a sudden heavy downpour of rain caused her to act surprised. "Shit! No wonder, there were no stars in the sky," she cursed while taking out the umbrella from her bag in a hurry. "Since when did I become so poetic! Thinking about stars!" She scoffed, shaking her head, as she opened her umbrella and began to walk.
The rain became a storm in a matter of seconds when strong winds kept her from making headway towards her apartment, so she decided to run instead before she and her umbrella could get blown away. By holding tightly to the umbrella, she slightly lowered it to cover her front view against the strong winds. She didn't notice the man, standing at the end of the alley, when she ran at full speed.
"Ow!" Luna blurted out when she stumbled on the wet ground. The moment she hit the ground, her umbrella was flown away, she was about to chase it, but a sound of a groan stopped her midway. She looked down and realized it was a person, it was also then too late when she realized she was sitting atop of the man who's lying flat on the ground. There and then her face grew warm, so she alighted the man in great haste. She apologized right after, but the man didn't respond.
"Oh my god!" She gasped in horror, but not for long. She breathed few times and calmed herself. Once she's relaxed, she checked the man's pulse. "Thank heavens!" She expressed relief. The man has a pulse, still breathing. His heartbeat was normal too and no signs of wounds or bumps on his head. She looked around for help but the pouring rain blocked her views, and the lack of street lights didn't help at all. There was also no sign of any nearby local police station, so with no other options, she lifted him up and dragged him towards her apartment.
"Thank heavens it's not far!" She muttered while dragging the man, both of them were heavily soaked in the rain. Luna knew it was impossible to carry him all the way to her apartment without a support or help from others. Luckily, she saw her neighbor walking passed the street, across her, so she thanked the stars, and with all her might she shouted for help. Her call caught the neighbor's attention and finally, her situation was over.
Tired inside and out, Luna collapsed on the floor as soon as she thanked her neighbor for carrying the man inside her apartment. Out of breath, she placed her arm over her eyes and rested for a while. Suddenly, a loud, painful groan echoed inside her living room. Her eyes snapped open, she got up from the floor and rushed to the couch where the man was lying, only to find out that he was just having a dream. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh of relief. Wet and tired to the bone, she reached out to touch the man's head, double checking him for any possible wounds or whatsoever, just to make sure he's really alright. Good thing, she has medical knowledge, thanks to the nature of her work. She tried to wake him up once more by tapping him lightly on the shoulder. "Hey, mister, wake up," she said, "hey, wake up." Still, the man didn't respond again. So she let it go this time.
Even though her entire body was exhausted, she still stood up to clean the mess, both she and the man had made in her home. She thought she would get a good shut-eye tonight, but apparently not. She never thought a day will come where she will do house chores in the middle of the night. She didn't even bother to eat since her need for sleep was much stronger than the sound of her growling stomach. She went to get the mop and the broom to clean the wet floor. Then, she switch off the lights and undressed the man on her couch, and with lightning speed, she wiped his body with a clean towel and covered him with a blanket. Next, she threw all his dirty clothes in the washing machine, and while the washer was running, she went back to check the man's temperature. When she touched his forehead, his eyes flew open wide, scanning his surroundings at the dark. With only the moonlight illuminating the room, she couldn't quite see if his eyes were opened. So she leaned forward to peek at his face, but she was taken by surprise when he suddenly sat upright, looking at her, dazed and confused. Then he falls back again on the couch, snoring loudly. Surprised and bemused by what just happened, Luna stood up and walked away from the naked man, too tired to make a sense of it.
Thank heavens I turned off the lights! She thought. She picked up his clothes from the washer and went back to dress the sleeping man on her couch. She spent her last hour showering and putting on her pajamas.
And with her last remaining willpower, Luna crawled onto her bed and fell asleep instantly.