The depths of his mind start to stir as first light seeps past the curtains. His mouth and nose feel a little dry from the fan, but his mind and body feel rested for the first time in six years. His body has been pushed and pulled and commanded in so many ways for so long. When he felt life finally start to settle, it was ripped out from under him. He'd never felt hope the way he had that year, the year they were supposed to have it all.
He wasn't expecting the burden and heaviness of that last night to burrow into his heart and fester. But, it did. In many ways, he felt like the last breath he'd ever take escaped his lungs the night they told him she was gone. And, then, he was a father and a partner and an officer and there were no finite boundaries. He just knew he needed to breathe any breath left in him into his new life, into the life they created together.
He wasn't expecting to carry the pain of seeing her in Cairo and not being able to tell anyone she was okay. He knew "okay" was relative. She really wasn't okay, but she was alive. He still sees her grit and grime and sweat covered face when he closes his eyes sometimes. He still sees the way her knees gave in as she collapsed, sobs wracking her shoulders, as she held Tali against her chest. He can still smell the years of battle on her skin and taste the way her tasted when it was time for him and Tali to return home.
He shakes himself of those thoughts and those feelings, though, because her snores are filling their bedroom and he sighs in contentment. He shifts onto his side and rests his head on his hand, taking in the gentle up and down of her back. Her hair is still damp from their shower and the fan blows goosebumps across the skin of her shoulders. He's struggling between lifting the blankets to her shoulders and flitting his fingers across the bared skin. He settles for keeping her warm and lifts the covers to create a cocoon around them, his arm sliding around her stomach. He clasps their fingers and pulls her close, and he relishes in the way she settles into him.
It's such a different feeling than her usual defensive, tense reactions to being touched in her sleep. He wants more than anything for her to feel safe with him. He thinks that she deserves that more than anything in this world: to feel safe and to feel worthy of the love he has for her. He smiles into her slightly damp hair as she sighs and lifts their clasped hands to rest against her sternum. There's a steady thump of her heart that serves as a reminder that she's really okay now. The tiny pendant Tali picked out for her to wear is chilly against his fingers, but he doesn't mind. He's been waiting for this moment since the last time he held her in Cairo.
This, he thinks to himself, is so entirely different than that time, though. Their encounter had been as hot and rushed and sticky as the environment. There was so much confusion and turmoil that he doesn't think either one of them ever processed. There's still a lot they need to process together, but, this time, her breathing is calm and the flittering of her eyelids is gentle. He wants to relish in these differences and make sure that they're a forever thing.
He feels himself dozing, his thoughts blurring, when he feels the sudden stroking of her fingers and he jumps back out of the grip of sleep.
"What has you awake at this time of morning, Tony?" Her voice is sleep ridden and slurred, but he can tell she's smirking.
His first instinct is to respond with something regarding her lack of clothing, or the feel of her skin, or the way she looks as the sheet slips back down her shoulders; but he has spent too long without her to hide from her. He knows that he doesn't need to hide, not from her.
"You're really home," he takes in the way his whisper against her ear makes her shudder.
"I am, Ahuvi," the way her language rolls off her tongue gently and full of content comforts him more than he ever thought it would. "Levasof."
"Finally," he laughs at the way she turns to look at him, eyebrow cocked.
"You have been studious, I see?"
"I can't people watch with Tali or share special daddy-daughter secrets in English, can I?"
He feels the trimmer start in her fingers before he hears her sniffle and it doesn't take much more for him to murmur softly and turn her, burying her into his chest. Her chin trembles as her fingers splay against the soft hair she leans against. He brushes the curls from her eyes and cradles her head the way she likes it to be held, the way only he knows how to.
She takes in a shuddering breath and finds her words, "I made Adam swear to me that he would make sure you were the only person to have any contact with Tali during their journey to you. When he contacted me to tell me that Orli personally put her in your arms, I knew she would never be in danger again."
He doesn't have the words so he just brushes his thumb across the curve of her cheek. He eases the tense furrow of her eyebrows with a wet kiss. Her nose flares and sniffles under his lips when he trails the kiss there, and then he feels her swallow. He doesn't say anything; he just waits for her to find the words that have needed to be said for so long.
"Adam showed me pictures of you with her at the park. He said once she saw you there were no more tears. I could not keep those pictures and it hurt so badly to give them back," Tony nods and watches as a tear tickles her top lip, wiping it with the pad of his thumb.
He's swallowing back his own tears as he finds the right words, "We get to have those moments together now. We get to be a family, the three of us. You'll get to see her run and play and swing. You won't have to look at her through pictures anymore. You're home."