Disclaimer: I've taken down the old stories and we're going to try this rodeo again. I'm a mom now, so I'm a little busy, but I'll try to consistently publish once a week. I could use a beta, if people still do that? I own nothing but my ideas. Enjoy!
Ch. 1 - Deplorable
Bella POV
As I lay there contemplating the current status of my life or lack thereof, I came to a blank. It was my senior year of high school and I couldn't even tell you if I was still on track to graduate. The only thing that flew through my thoughts, left me months ago, though it felt like years now. I genuinely had no idea how many days had past or what those days had consisted of besides mind-blowing numbness; everything seemed to be in shades of grey, yet I don't remember ever going colorblind. I can't help but wonder if the numbness is better than the torrent of agony that used to plague my thoughts…God, I sound like a pathetic version of Poe.
"All that's missing is drinking myself into an oblivion…" I muttered to myself.
I could hear some garbled voices down below and I shook myself of my inner monologue.
"Mom sent this over Charlie, as a thanks for helping Paul out." I heard a feminine voice say.
I could picture the blush on Charlie's face now.
"She didn't have to, but I appreciate it Leah." Came his gruff reply.
My curiosity got the best of me for the first time in months, so I tried heave myself off of my bed. When I tried to stand, I ended up just crumpling to the floor.
"What the fuck?" I thought to myself.
Why can't I stand, I definitely would've remembered forgetting how to walk or something equally ridiculous. I quickly heard feet shuffling up the stairs.
"Bella!" I heard my father yell as he and Leah entered my room and found me lying on the floor.
"Wow Swan, graceful as always." I looked into Leah's eyes as she spoke.
"I try." I moaned and let my face drop to the ground because apparently my arms weren't working either.
"Someone wanna lend a hand?" My voice came muffled from below whatever heap had been piled on my bed and now onto myself. My father scrambled to help me up as Leah laughed.
"What are you doing up?" My father asked.
"What day is it? Better yet, what month?" I asked them both as my father lifted the blankets off of me. I looked down at the clothes I was wearing, they seemed to be hanging off of me.
"Whose clothes am I wearing, why are they so large?" I was so confused. I couldn't remember the last time I paid any attention to anything, besides how much it hurt to think of his name and his family who had abandoned me. Charlie just stared openly at me.
"It's March, Swan. Those are your clothes. You've been on a mostly liquid and injection diet for months, that's why you look and probably feel like hammered dog shit." Leah said.
"I've been in this fucking bed for almost six months!" My voice started to get shrill like quality to it.
"Shit! School, what happened to school?" I looked up at Charlie.
"You dropped out Bells…" Dad trailed off. I stared at him with disbelief in my eyes.
"I was a straight A student, and you mean to tell me I managed to drop out myself out of school my final year?" I was gob smacked. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life once they left but being a dropout and living in my dad's house forever didn't sound like the greatest accomplishment.
"You were in the 'denial' stage of grief and then just skipped straight to depression. Shame really, angers the best part." Lead chuckled.
"I, uh…wha…" I couldn't form a solid sentence. What was I supposed to say to that? I'd wasted six months of my senior year wallowing in my own self-pity and filth, apparently.
"How am I still alive?" I asked with wonder.
"My moms' been coming over and doing as much as she can. She gives you vitamins and other shit as much as possible, intravenously. Charlie has slept in the rocking chair in your room for months to make sure you haven't withered away." Lead stated matter of factly.
I looked in horror to the chair in the corner and found the remnants of a pillow and blanket laying across the chair. The same chair he used to watch me sleep in. Tears started to form in my eyes.
"Bella…" Charlie started to come towards me. I started to hastily wipe my tears away, and even that took effort.
"What's the next step Leah?" I managed to croak out.
"Well, you missed anger, bargaining, and then finally - acceptance." She smiled, though it was not a nice one.
"Let's get started then." I looked up into her eyes. Charlie looked confused.
"Bells -" He hesitated.
"I need to get out of this fucking bed, these gigantic clothes, and get in the shower. I can actually smell myself." I wrinkled my nose.
"Let's go Swan." Leah picked me up and hauled me into the bathroom like I weighed nothing more than a feather, though I probably didn't.
"Damn wolves." I heard my dad mutter. I looked up to Leah in surprise.
"Ya, he knows. Sam spilled the beans, but that's a story for another time." She had a smirk on her face.
She turned the water on scalding and helped me out of my clothes. She helped me step into the water. I flinched at the temperature.
"Shit!" I hissed.
"At least you actually have sensory feelings now!" Leah smiled. I glared at her.
I can't say that I've ever had anyone bathe me since I was a child. But I was so weak, I could barely lift my arms. I looked skeletal. I was genuinely confused as to how I was alive, though grateful. Lead must've read my thoughts.
"Charlie has been by your side for months. He took a sabbatical from work for a while and would only go in when mom could come watch you." I looked at her in horror.
"It isn't all bad Swan; he and my mom are sorta dating now. They've really been there for you and each other. It's a good thing, my mom deserves someone to love her, it's been years since my dad has died, and yours makes her happy." She had a small smile lining her lips.
Leah was finally done scrubbing, exfoliating, and bruising my body long after the water had gone cold, though I was mad, I felt like a whole new person. She helped me put on some fresh sweats that hung off my skeletal form and brushed my hair, French braiding it for me.
"I'll get you back in bed and get you some soup." She headed downstairs.
"I want a hamburger and fries!" I yelled after her. I heard her scoff in her wake. She came back with some homemade dumpling soup and a slice of bread.
"Your body isn't used to chewing or intaking food, it's going to be a long process, but we can get you healthy again." She stated. I leaned forward as she spoon fed me. God, how embarrassing. At least I wasn't sitting in week old clothes anymore. As she finished, I couldn't help but feel sleepy again, but I didn't want to sleep. I felt like I had slept the last six months away. I needed to get up, but I didn't have the energy to.
"I'll be back tomorrow." She told Charlie.
"Thank you, Leah, you'll never know how much I appreciate it." I could hear Charlie opening the door for her. He came back up the stairs slowly and just stood in my doorway staring.
"I'm sorry Char…dad." I let my eyes drop down and I sighed heavily.
"It's alright Bella, I'm glad you're -" He trailed off. I know he wanted to say "ok", but we really couldn't confirm that right now. I wasn't ok, I was far from ok. I was so fucking far from ok that I couldn't even get out of bed without help, I'd let myself slip so far into oblivion over a boy who was going on one hundred and five fucking years old! Rage started to simmer under the surface of my skin. I could feel it boiling underneath.
"How could you look at Rene after she left?" I asked him.
"After sowing some wild fucking fantasy in your lives; getting this home, getting married, having me? How can you look at her in the eyes and not wish she'd spontaneously combust!" I was panting by the end of my little spiel. Charlie sat on the edge of the bed.
"Well for starters, she's your mother, I could never hate someone who's a part of you; she gave me you. I also had you, even after she left, I still had to make sure child support, your sports, and whatever else she asked for - were paid for. I needed to be ok, so I could make sure you were ok." He stated. I looked at him bewildered.
"Mom put me in ballet for like three days, and I'm fairly confident it's because she thought our neighbor next door was hot and wanted to chat with him while he took his daughter to class. When he wouldn't leave his wife for her, she decided it wasn't worth her time anymore." I deadpanned. Charlie snorted.
"I figured; you never played any sports growing up while you came to visit. You spent most of the time in the library." I could see his mouth twitch under his mustache as he looked at me.
"But that didn't matter, she had the money I sent her to take care of you with, that's all the important part. I am sorry she was so flighty though, I would've fought harder for more custody, but I didn't want to drag you into a battle between your mother and I." He folded his hands in his lap.
"I'm not upset over it anymore dad. Mom will always be the way she is, flighty works for her. Always has, always will. Speaking of which, what is she up to?" I asked.
"She's actually pregnant. She calls in once a month to check on you, but it's Phil's first kid, so they've been preoccupied like she should've been with you." He grumbled with a frown marring his lips. I blinked slowly at that. I truly couldn't image my mother having another child, but good for her? Phil was a decent enough dude; they'd figure it out together. It explained why she'd been even more distant than usual.
"It's alright dad. I'm…I don't even know what to say. Sorry doesn't seem to cover it." I couldn't look him in the eye.
"Everyone processes grief differently Bella. I won't pretend to know why you went through it so hard, but all that's left is getting you through it now. One day at a time. Get some rest, we'll start again tomorrow." He patted my knee and I heard him go downstairs and turn a Mariner's game on.
"At least some things never change." I smiled lightly to myself.
And so, it went. The days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. By the time my mother and Phil had my little brother, Liam, I was back to my mostly usual self…kind of, except for sleeping. I was restless most nights and I couldn't seem to stop the anger from building in the dead of night. My frustration turned into night terrors more often than not.
"Boy Swan, you look like extra ripe crap today!" Lead smiled as she clapped my shoulder while I stood in the kitchen trying to inhale some caffeine in hopes of taking the blur away from my eyes. I frowned at her.
"What crawled up your ass and died this morning?" She asked.
"I don't know, I'm just feeling restless. I can't sleep, I have nightmares and I can't remember half of them. I'm fucking antsy and angry. I never leave this damn house, unless it's to go to the damn grocery store, and when I do, all I hear are whispers from every person in town wondering if I'm a recovering drug addict or what made me drop out from school. It's almost summertime and all of my old classmates are getting ready to graduate and move on with their lives. My greatest fucking accomplishment thus far is fitting back in my jeans." I huffed.
"Well let's start training then. Let's go run, jump, cliff dive, do coke out of a stripper's ass - whatever you want. You just need to release some tension; you're too worked up. And quit feeling sorry for yourself. Mike is going to knock up Jessica, if she already isn't, and he's going to run his parent's dumbass store for the rest of their lives while he periodically cheats on her with her blow up doll best friend, Lauren." I looked at her confused. How the fuck did she know any of these people? They went to Forks High and she'd already graduated from La Push. Part of her helping me was for her clinical work for her nursing program that she was studying at a school in Port Angelous.
"Angie was the smartest one of the group, until she let Paul knock her up." Leah had a wide grin at that. I spit my coffee out at that.
"She WHAT?" I yelled. Leah cackled as she wiped tears out of the corners of her eyes.
"Ya, Ben ended up being gay. She caught him in after school in the science lab with some other nerd. Lauren kept making fun of her and told Ang her pussy must've 'made him' gay." Leah rolled her eyes at that.
"Blonde fucking moron knows nothing about sexuality. Anyways, Ang went on a little weekend bender, met Paul, had a one-night stand, and now she's ready to pop. She even graduated early, she won't be walking." She snickered. God, that meant she'd been pregnant while the Cullens were still here. Was I really wrapped up so much with them that I didn't notice my best friend was almost three months pregnant before they left? I dragged a hand down through my tangled hair.
"As a matter of fact, she and Emily were planning on opening a bakery together until Emily also swallowed the pumpkin seed. Only it's not Sam's, so she's back at the Makkah res with her parent's." She finished. I just stared wide eyed.
"How is that possible? Isn't she his imprint?" I was confused. I thought their 'soulmate' bond wouldn't let them reproduce with anyone else…but I guess Angela and Paul broke that rule too.
"There's a lot you've missed out on Swan." She stated. And that's when I noticed the diamond hanging off of a string on her neck.
"You're engaged!" I sputtered. She smiled.
"Go put on those yoga pants and Nikes I ordered you from Amazon, we're going outside today Swan, it's time to introduce you to life again!" She smiled and pulled away from the counter.
I lugged myself up the stairs and threw on some exercise gear that Leah had gotten me. I should've known better when she said, 'lounge wear'." I rolled my eyes. I threw my hair up in a half-assed pony and brushed my teeth.
"I need a haircut." I grumbled to myself. Ten minutes later we were jogging in the woods behind the house while Leah told me all that I had missed out on while zombie-fied, and then working to get better.
"So yes, Angela and Paul are expecting any day now. She's as huge as a whale. It was a rocky start, but she's living with him now on a house he and Sam built not far from my little cabin. Paul, Sam, and a few of the other boys run a construction company down on the res. Jake and Embry work at an auto shop down there restoring and fixing up cars from all over, as well. Quil is dating a different girl every day, but what's new. He babysits Claire when her parents ask, and that's how their imprint bond works - he's like an older brother. When Emily went to visit her parents and came back pregnant, Sam was ecstatic at first - until she started acting skittish and her smell changed. We could tell the child wasn't his. That caused a huge round of accusations and questions. The best we've been able to interpret from old journals, is imprint pairs can make the strongest wolves, genetically, supposedly. But an imprint is also anything you want it to be, i.e.: friend, lover, brother, enemy, etc. Sam didn't have to romantically be involved with Emily, but the elders pushed, and our mess happened. He and I were never meant to be, we were simply convenient. He actually leaned on me a lot after she left." I gave her a sharp look.
"Don't look at me like that Swan, nothing happened. I realized I missed Sam as my friend. We'd grown up together and I missed my best friend. He actually introduced me to Brady, another guy who works on his construction team." She blushed at that.
"He proposed last week. It seems soon, but I've never felt this way and we're really excited." I smiled at her.
"I'm happy for you Leah." And I genuinely was. If anyone deserved a 'happy ending', it was Leah.
"You're my maid of honor Swan, when it happens." I tripped over a stump and choked on my spit. I looked up at her incredulously.
"I'm what!" I sputtered. She laughed.
"I do see you almost everyday Swan, our parents practically live together." She laughed again.
"But all you do is take care of me, I'm the worst friend in the fucking history of ever!" I stared at her.
"Well let's change that. Start training with me - I run every morning and box three times a week at a gym in PA. We can go out, get shit faced on Friday nights and sing bad karaoke. We can get you your GED or go back and get your diploma. Get out of the house and decide what you want to do with your life now." She stated.
That was the golden question - what did I want to do? I didn't know, everything with the Cullens was preordained. We'd go to Dartmouth, I'd get changed, move to Alaska, who knew in what order. What did I want to do now? I had no idea.
"That's my issue, ever since the Cullens left, I didn't know what to do, I hadn't really known before, either. I've just always been a good student. Edward decided where we were going to go and sent out our applications. That's out of the window now though." My thoughts trailed off. No college of that caliber was going to take a high school dropout.
"Well unfortunately for those cocksuckers, you're not a doll. You can make your own decisions, and they don't have to be today or tomorrow. I know Sam needs help down at the construction office. They've been a little overwhelmed with work he hasn't had a chance to sort through anything and he desperately needs an officer manager. I'm not sure if that's your kind of thing, but it has to be better than when you worked for that limp fucking noodle, Newton." I barked out a laugh at that.
"The college in PA offers adult programs for getting your diploma and GED too. Come with me when I go to class one day and check it out." She smiled. She slowed down as we neared town. I hadn't realized we ran this far. We walked, well, she walked while I bent over at the waist trying to remember how to fucking breathe right and we closed in on a coffee shop.
"You can work for Sam, work out with me, get your shit together. Once your body has healed, we can start on your mind next and continue into the next steps of grief." She stated like she was my fucking guidance counselor. I gave her a look.
"It's true. I was angry for a long time after Sam and Emily. It took getting my mind right and talking to someone before I was able to let the anger go. Exercise helped me with that. Now I'm with a man I love, I chose, and we're happy. If I ever imprint, I get to decide what I want the imprint to be, and it won't be romantic. I haven't felt this free in all my life." She had a small smile on her face.
"I'm super not convinced on this running garbage, but everything else sounds like a deal, Clearwater." I turned to smile at her. We walked into the shop and I caught my reflection in the mirror.
"Jesus…" I muttered. I looked like a drowned rat with my shirt soaked in sweat and hair half falling out of my pony. I heard Leah up talking to someone in front of us and I turned to look.
"I was just talking about you Sammy boy, how convenient. Talk to me while I order." She stated to him. I stopped dead in my tracks as my gaze rose up to see Sam.
"Holy mother of God." I muttered.
This man was sin incarnate. He made Edward look like a fucking bunny rabbit. His Henley was pulled slightly up forearms that were corded in thick muscle, a deep rich navy blue that accentuated his bronze skin beautifully. It was spread taught across an impressive pair of shoulders and hugged his chest and stomach beautifully. I was suddenly interested in counting how many ridges he had underneath that shirt. Jeans hung on an ass that J. Lo herself must've designed. The jeans looked like they were fucking made for him, all but plastered to his body until about his knees where they loosened and fell over a pair of Timberland work boots. I was jerked out of musing as Lead barked at me.
"Swan, what do you want?"
"Blue." I stated dumbly while staring blatantly at Sam's shirt.
"Jesus Christ, what kind of coffee Swan?" Good thing my face was already red from running, because I was humiliated as I heard a chuckle escape Sam's lips.
"Oh, uh, coffee. Black, large, Carmel sauce, one cream." I stated dumbly. She grabbed our drinks and ushered us to a table.
"Bella here, now that she's back in the land of the living, needs a job." She smiled up at Sam. I could've killed her. I hope my glare was enough to express my feelings. 'Land of the living', that cow.
"You need someone for your office, Bella needs a job! See, it's perfect!" She stated like she'd suddenly found the cure to end world hunger.
Sam's gaze rose to mine and I felt the blush creeping down to my neck and chest, he was magnificent. I was stunned speechless. If his body was made of marble, his face was hand crafted by Zeus himself. A five o'clock shadow rested on a jawline carved from said stone. His cheek bones and long nose only helped to highlight the sharp planes of his face. Eyes the color of melted sugar were incased in long thick obsidian lashes; the same color as his hair, which touched his forehead, disheveled, like he'd just ran his hand through it. To top the entire perfect ensemble off, he had dimples and a pair of velvet looking lips that encased a perfect set of teeth beneath. Wait, why was he smiling at me like that?
"Bella, helloooo, earth to BELLA." Leah snapped her finger in my face. God, I'd just been caught, staring was even a strong enough word - ogling, I was ogling him like he was a prized show pony that I was about to bet my life savings on, and they'd caught me. Earth swallow me whole, now. I heard Sam's chuckle.
"Jesus Bella, you're not really selling yourself on this whole job idea, you keep spacing out." I cut another glare to her.
"Bite me Leah. It's 7 am and I haven't had enough caffeine yet. My hair is plastered to my forehead and I didn't get enough sleep last night." I grouched. I turned to look at Sam and the words I had in my throat died once again now that I was looking at him.
"What experience do you have Bella?" He asked with a small smile.
"I guess I managed to stay alive in a household of vampires?" It came out more as a question. I saw his eyes go wide as Leah choked on her coffee.
"He meant work experience, Bella." I almost slapped my palm to my face. This is just going swimmingly.
"Oh, uh…I worked at Newtons." I stuttered out.
"Doing?" Leah egged on. It would be a miracle if Sam hired me at this point, this was blowing up spectacularly in my face.
"Uhm, inventory/stock, scheduling, the till, customer service, ordering for the store…a little bit of everything." I managed to get out while looking down at the table. I seriously needed to get my shit together.
"Why don't you meet me at the office tomorrow and we can see if you're up to the task?" He smiled gently at me. I managed to nod my head yes, and he wrote down an address on a napkin for me.
"I'm going to be late for a job, I'll see you tomorrow Bella." He smiled down at us both and I watched him stroll out of the coffee shop and hop into a truck just as monstrous as he was.
"Well at least we know the corpse didn't kill your libido!" Leah snorted as she drank some of her beverage.
"You'd have to be deaf, blind, and dumb to not notice Sam." I muttered back. She hopped up to throw her drink away.
"Come on Swan, we have shit to do, and you stink." I dragged myself up from the cafe chair and reluctantly followed her back to the trail.
I was fairly sure my legs were going to fall off by the time we reached my back door.
"Go shower and get changed Swan. Your wardrobe sucks, your phone is from the 90's, and your hair looks like Cousin IT. We're going to have a busy day." She wasn't wrong, but I still gave her the stink eye as I trudged up the stairs.
"If you keep looking at me like that, your face is going to get stuck that way!" She chuckled at me.
I took my time scrubbing away the stink and looked down at myself, I did manage to look like Cousin IT. Maybe I'd try that 'sugaring' Leah was always talking about. I changed into an old band t-shirt and a pair of jeans with some worn converse. I ran a brush through my hair and marched downstairs to find Leah scrolling on her iPhone. She looked up as I reached the last step.
"Come on Swan, we have a credit card full of guilt money from your mom to spend!" She tugged me out of the door and to her Jeep.
'Anthem for the Underdog' by 12 Stones played as we rode to PA. I bobbed my head along to the beat. This could be my new anthem. She pulled up to the outdoor shopping mall and parked the car. I turned to look at her as I unbuckled myself.
"I really appreciate this Leah. I know caring for a depressed invalid isn't the funnest way to spend your days. I promise I'll make it up to you somehow." I said with sincerity in my voice.
"Don't get sappy on me now Swan. I promise you'll regret being my friend when I drag you running and to kick boxing this week!" She laughed as she shut her door. I grimaced. I'd almost forgotten about the torture sessions she had planned coming up.
"You do know I'm more likely to punch myself in the face than hurt anyone else, don't you?" I asked her.
"The point isn't to hurt anyone Swan, it's to get your confidence back. Put your body and mind through exertion, get some of that pent up anger at sparkly douche nozzle out." She bumped her shoulder against mine.
"Come on, let's do something with this mop on your head, first." She dragged into a salon called 'Tre Chic'.
"Well, that's original." I rolled my eyes at the name as we walked in.
Everything after was a flurry of motion as Leah kissed the cheek of a male who had more style in his pinky that I'd ever seen on anyone in my life.
"This is my friend I was talking about, Bella. Work your magic on her." I felt uncomfortable under his unscrupulous gaze. I was dragged into a room and told to take my clothing off and I was left a robe to put on.
After what felt like hours, I turned in the chair and muttered "damn" as I saw my reflection.
"I really am a miracle worker." He smiled behind me.
"Why don't you tone it down a little there Pierre, you didn't renovate a fucking house, you gave me haircut." I snipped at him. He smiled wickedly down at me.
"I think I'm going to like you Miss Swan." He crossed his arms over his broad chest. What was it with everyone male Leah knew being excessively attractive?
"Damn Collin, good job." Leah came over.
My waist-length hair now settled on my chest. Layers and whips framed my shoulders and face. He managed to accentuate the auburn tones in my dark hair as well. I ran my hair through it and dragged most of it to one side.
"Come on Swan." She hauled me up from the hair.
"Tina is waiting for you. We're waxing you next." I dug my feet in the ground and looked back to Collin for help. He had a smirk on his face as he let loose a little wave. I glared at him then.
Leah got a lot of glee as her girl Tina 'sugared', a new type of waxing, almost my entire fucking body. I wouldn't let her wax my entire nether region, I wasn't a damn Barbie doll. After getting pedicures, I waddled out of the salon. Leah bellowed out a laugh. I couldn't help but admire her beauty. Her hair fell softly behind her ears as she tipped her head back to let out her full belly laugh. She had an air of freedom and happiness about her; her skin seemed to pulse and glow with it. I wanted to feel that free, to not have this dark aura constantly shitting on my thoughts and feelings. I was ready to start living again.
"Alright chuckles, what's next?" I asked her as we shuffled out into the bright sun.
"Now Swan, now we spend all of Phil's hard-earned money he makes while wearing those tight ass pants." She winked.
"Ugh, barf. Don't talk about my stepfather like that." I wrinkled my nose.
"Your mom caught herself a stud, Swan. I didn't pay attention to baseball much or I would have noticed how good their asses look in those pants." She had a far-off look on her face. I rolled my eyes.
"Jesus Christ." I muttered.
The rest of the day went much the same. Leah dragged me into nearly every shop and helped me pick out outfits and clothes that would 'accentuate' my figure instead of making me look like a "prepubescent boy" - her words, not mine. We stopped for Chinese halfway through the day. I grabbed a new phone and MacBook while we were out too. If I was going to start studying to get my diploma, I needed something other than the 20-year-old machine in my room. As we passed some Boho chic furniture store I couldn't help but stop and stare at the bright colors of the bedspread hanging in the window. I thought back to my dark room. I wanted color back in my life.
"Will you help me redo my room?" I turned to Leah.
"All I have are memories of the Cullens in every nook and cranny. I need to refresh everything. I'm starting from scratch from everything else anyway, aren't I?" I asked her. She put an arm on my shoulder.
"Sure Swan, your room looks like a gothic twelve-year-old threw up on it anyways." I rolled my eyes at her. That was Leah, always helpful followed by a thinly veiled insult.
I picked out a new low profile slatted bed and matching wood bookshelves, a desk, and dresser. Leah thew in a fuzzy rug and tons of accent blankets in bright neutral colors. I contemplated getting a gigantic bean bag chair as well. I got some ridiculous lights and even some plants.
"I'm going to kill those you know." I look pointedly at her.
"Swan, if you can't keep a succulent alive, then you might as well stop this 'new you' bullshit. If ensuring a cactus, that pretty much cares for itself, is too hard, you have a lot more work cut out for you than I thought." I stuck my tongue out at her.
I also decided to pick up a dream catcher that caught my eye as well. Maybe it would help with the nightmares. By the end of the day, her Jeep was jammed full and the furniture would be delivered later in the week. I had enough makeup, hair products, clothes and shoes to last a life time. I tried to argue with the beauty products, but she told me that looking like Macaulay Culkin after his drug stint wasn't the look I was going for anymore. I balked outright at that statement.
"You have nothing but time to learn, why not take time to try different types of self-care?" She had stated.
I'm pretty sure Charlie choked on his piece of pizza as he saw us hauling bags up the stairs. He stared wide-eyed as we came down to eat some of the pizza.
"Enjoy all of the calories tonight Swan, you'll regret it tomorrow morning when we run again." I suddenly didn't have a desire to continue chewing the pizza currently in my mouth.
"Buzzkill." I blew a raspberry at her.
"Welp, I have to head out. I have a date with Brady tonight." She wiggled her eyebrows.
"See you tomorrow Swan!" She called as she walked out the door.
"I have a name you know!" I called after her.
"Sure do, Swan!" I heard her voice drift from the other side of the door. Charlie's mustache twitched at that.
"Had a busy day?" His eyes sparkled.
"You know what dad-" I eyed the house.
"You could use a new flatscreen to watch the Mariners on, couldn't you?" I grinned at him. He guffawed at that.
"I don't need anything Bells; I have plenty here. This old recliner and tv are just fine." He stated as he patted the chair that was surely as old as he was.
"We don't need it, but it felt nice spending mom's guilt money today. It's petty, but after not feeling for so long, I'm welcoming any emotion that comes my way. Today, it's a mix of happy and petty." I smiled and eyed him. He chuckled in response.
"Alright then, wouldn't want to stand in the way of that." He patted my shoulder and went to clean up the pizza mess.
I pulled out my new computer and logged on to Leah's Amazon account. Tomorrow I had an interview, a ton of stuff to put away, cleaning, and grocery shopping to probably do. But tonight? - Tonight, I'd enjoy being nineteen and spending my mother's pity money with a smile on my face.
AN: What do you guys think? It's a litter slowerish paced than last time. But I wanted to add in more detail. If anyone wants to edit these for me - lemme know :)