You know how in tv series there's always an episode in which the main character is almost dead and they go to a sort of limbo or happy place where they revisit their life and see some deceased loved ones? Well, this is it for Amy in LW.
Also, I hated that she couldn't say goodbye to Beth so this fic is to fix that too.
Amy woke up slowly to the sound of birds. She opened one eye and got alarmed. This wasn't her bed. She was sleeping on the grass and she was alone! Quickly she raised up and looked around. She knew the place, it was the Delectable Mountain, the hill she and her sisters used to go to during the summer at the Busy Bee Society. It had been the place where they had told their castles in the air years ago. It truly was a beautiful place, so peaceful... She hadn't been there in a while. But why was she there now? She couldn't remember how she got there. One moment she had given birth, she had heard her beautiful baby cry and the doctor exclaiming it was a girl; and the next she was here. She could remember Laurie asking her to stay awake, there was a bit of fuss around and then this. She remembers everything turning black, then silence… Oh God, was she dead?
No! She couldn't, her daughter had just been born. Finally, she was able to give Laurie the child he always wanted, the child she always wanted. They were going to be a family. She could feel her heart racing. She looked around from one point to another.
She looked at herself. It looked as if she had never been pregnant. She was thin as before and wearing a light white dress and her hair was braided down leaving a few strands loose.
What happened?!
She began walking. If this was Delectable Mountain, then her home must be close and someone must be around. Suddenly, a figure appeared sitting near the lake.
"Hello!" Amy called and her heart skipped a bit when she recognized her. "Hey!" She waved her hands energetically. The other person turned a little, just enough to see...
"Beth?"
"Amy?"
"Oh, Beth!" Amy ran to hug her sister.
"Amy, what are you doing here?" Her sister asked. It hadn't passed that much time for Amy to be with her.
"I woke up here. I don't know. What are you doing here? Am I dead?"
"I don't think so," Beth said, examining her.
.
.
"Teddy," Jo approached his sleepy friend. "Why don't you go to sleep in the other room?"
"I'm okay," he said, trying to compose himself as best as he could.
"You've been awake all night. Come on, you need to rest properly. Marmee and Meg will take care of the baby."
"I don't want to leave her alone."
"She won't be. Me and Hannah will clean her up."
"She was fine," he said with a broken voice.
"My boy, you heard the doctor. We need to be patient." She tried to comfort her. Although she was also dying with worry and fear. She couldn't lose another sister.
"I can't do this without her." He said when they heard Marmee hushing the baby. Not knowing how to answer him, Jo took him and directed him to another room.
.
.
"I'm so sorry, Beth."
"For what?"
"For leaving, for not coming back. I should have come back… I..."
"I wanted you to stay in Europe. You're such an ambitious woman, I wanted you to enjoy it all."
"None of it was more important than you."
"And, if you had come back, you and Laurie wouldn't have fallen in love." Amy blushed a little. "You know, when Jo came back, she told me she wished you two would get married."
"He misses you too, so much."
"Yes, I hear him playing. I like when he plays Bach. You two have something beautiful. I love the wedding."
"You saw that?" Amy's eyes widened.
"Of course. I'm always checking on you all. I wasn't going to miss my baby sister's wedding. I shouted at Laurie for a month to propose until he finally did it!"
"Really?" Beth nodded. "You like it?"
"I always wanted Laurie to be my brother."
.
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"There you go, baby," Marmee said softly as her granddaughter belched after a proper rub on the back and a full stomach.
"John will stay with Father. Fritz took the kids back to Plumfield." Meg entered the room carrying a couple of shawls for them both. "You should go home. Rest a little."
"I want to stay," Marmee said quietly. Meg stood next to her as they both watched the baby quickly falling asleep. "She looks so peaceful. Reminds me of Amy when she had just been born."
"I know. It was harder to put Amy to sleep though," Meg added, causing both women to laugh slightly.
By the time Amy was born, life had turned quite hard. She was the fourth daughter; Beth had just turned one year old, Jo was three and Meg was four. Still, her eldest sister was fascinated with the new baby. Jo had taken Beth as her own. From the start, Beth was a quiet girl, didn't bother much and sometimes the family joked about not having a baby in the house. Amy was completely different. It was like she wanted everyone to know she was there and she didn't want to miss a thing, which usually meant long sleepless nights. It drove Jo crazy. She couldn't understand why Amy couldn't be as calm as Beth. Of course, she didn't remember how much she cried when she was a baby.
.
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"So, you have been here on your own all this time?"
"No entirely alone. Sometimes Grandfather appears. I saw Aunt March when she arrived here. She looked happy. She went with Uncle March and their little daughter."
"I hope so. She gave Plumfield to Jo."
"Yes. That was so nice of her. And Jo has made wonders with that house. She is doing so much good to those kids."
"I know. And Demi and Daisy are there too. Those kids are so smart!"
"I still remember how advanced they were."
"And she has her own boy now!"
"Right! And you also have your girl now."
"Yes. It was so hard to get her."
"Oh, Amy. I wish I could have done something to help."
"Did you… did you see them here? I mean, most of them were just blood but..."
"Flowers grew," Beth said. "See," she pointed far away. "I take care of them."
.
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After John had gone to work and Hannah stayed busy with the domestic duties, Robert March found himself alone. He wanted to go to the house next door to take over and let his wife rest. After he got ready, he went to an old big closet that his daughter used as a little chapel. It had been years since she used it but no one took the picture of the Virgin down. He sat at the small seat and prayed. Prayed for his daughter who always brought beauty to life, for his granddaughter because she would need her mother, for his wife because she couldn't take another heartbreak and neither could he. He prayed for the whole family. He usually prayed directly to God but he supposed he could try with the Virgin this time, seeing as Amy had always expressed a certain fondness for the Mother.
.
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"This feels so different," Amy mentioned.
"What do you mean?"
"When I fell into the ice… I was so scared. I shouted and pleaded for help. And even though it was just mere seconds… I genuinely thought that was it. It hurt. But this… It's so peaceful. There's no pain or fear."
"Do you want to stay?"
"I… I don't know if I should. Do I have a choice?"
"I'm not sure. You had plans, Amy."
"I know, but so did you."
"I always thought I was going to stay at home. I never thought about getting married nor having children, never thought much about the future, honestly."
.
.
"What if I'm not a good mother? What if I'm too hard or too loose? I… I'm so scared."
"Well, the only way to find out is by going back."
"I only saw her for a few moments but she's so perfect, Beth. She's so pretty and Laurie is so happy. And she's going to be a beautiful lady. I hope she likes art and music, and that she can join me one day at the Art Center. Laurie had already composed lullabies for her..." Suddenly, Amy's fears faded as she looked at the prospects. There was a beautiful life ahead of her and she couldn't let it go, not even if it meant leaving her sister. It broke her heart. But she said once she would sail through storms, and she would stay in her resolution.
"Beth?"
"Hmm" her sister turned with a knowing smile.
"I have to go back."
"Yes," Beth stated. Amy hugged her tightly.
"I can't miss it." She said with tears forming in her eyes.
"I know."
"But I'm going to miss you so much."
"Well, that's the thing, Amy. I'll never leave. And one day, we'll see each other again, and then we're going to be together forever. Just not yet. I'm always going to be with you. You'll see."
"How?"
"I have my ways," Beth winked.
.
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Amy opened her eyes slowly. Light entered from the window which made her think it was evening. She could hear voices far away. Then she looked at her side and found Laurie sleeping at the side of the bed taking her hand. Poor fellow, most surely he hadn't slept at all. She tried to move but her stomach hurt and her legs weren't responding very well. She supposed it was a consequence of being asleep for… how long was she out? The whole time with Beth it was sunny but she must have been there for hours, maybe days?
She was strong enough to move her arms. The hand that Laurie held moved to caress his cheek and nose. Laurie murmured something like he always did during the night when Amy woke and her husband was asleep. It took him a couple of seconds and then he jumped.
"Oh my God!" He looked at her with disbelief. "Amy! You're back." He kissed her hand as tears ran down.
"Hey," she said softly. "It's ok. I'm here."
"Oh, God!" Laurie couldn't stop thanking the Lord for bringing her back. "I have to tell your family and call the doctor. Marmee is here. She's taking care of the baby."
"How is she? I want to see her."
"Yes," he said, wiping his tears. "I have to tell everyone. I'll be back."
"Ok." She said and watched him hurried out of the room after kissing her temple. Once alone again, she tried to sit up and failed. She exhaled it heavily as she heard the approaching commotion.
.
.
The doctor had come and examined Amy asking all kinds of questions and promising to check on her regularly. Overall, he could reassure the family that the worse had passed, that Amy was going to need time to go back to her full energy but that he expected her to make a full recovery. For a couple of hours, everyone came to see and hug Amy and make sure she was fine. Honestly, it was overwhelming for Amy. Years ago, she wondered if people would feel as sorry for her possible death as they felt about Beth. It had been a defining moment for her. She knew she had made progress. She worked hard to let go of her selfish traits, to improve her speech and manners, to be kinder and more considerate. It wasn't easy and yet she made it. Still, she wasn't prepared for all the showings of affection that she got from the town.
Anne, her maid, brought into the room a huge bouquet of white roses, courtesy of the Art Center. Laurie said it arrived a little after she got sick but that everyone cooperated. He also mentioned a few friends that came by and asked for her and the baby. John had even said that the stableman asked about her and expressed real concern when John told him what happened. And he was not the only one. In the last five years after she came back as Mrs. Laurence, she had established quite a reputation in town. If her family had been amazed by her growth, the rest of the Concordians were even more pleased and some of them even jealous. Amy had accomplished her goal, she was a true gentlewoman and everyone could see it and appreciate it.
As for her family, well they were a pile of emotions. Marmee rushed to her baby daughter to hug her and kiss her and thank God and the Virgin for this miracle. As the people arrived, they did the same. Jo might have been the worst.
"Jo, it's okay. I'm okay." Amy tried to appease her sister who kneeled at the bedside. But Jo only burst into more tears.
.
.
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Laurie lied next to Amy who held the baby carefully. "Oh she's so perfect, Amy. She's so calm and sweet..."
"Like Beth," Amy interrupted him softly.
"Yes, like her."
"We said we weren't going to think about names until she was here with us," Amy said, remembering the promise they made, of not getting their hopes up. They had already lost enough times to be confident and get ahead. They wouldn't dare. Not again.
"I know."
"What about Elizabeth?"
"That's perfect." Laurie's face illuminated. He looked down again to their baby and added, "Elizabeth Curtis Laurence."
"We'll think about the middle name later." They both laughed quietly, cause they could now. Their beautiful daughter was finally there, Amy had come back and everything was alright again.
.
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Days later, Amy was finally able to stand up for a while. She was sick of the room so Laurie had her sitting in the sunroom, right next to her flowers. After all, it was a beautiful day. Besides, the doctor had recommended sunbaths for Bess to alleviate her yellow skin, a consequence of her premature birth.
She relaxed as she rocked her daughter in the chair and hummed lullabies. She still couldn't believe this was her life, her family, her baby. As she observed the landscape, she turned to see a hummingbird flying over the flowers. She turned to watch it carefully, fearing that the bird would go away. But it didn't. The baby saw it too and began to fuss. The noise could have scared it… but it didn't.
Suddenly, she remembered. I'm always going to be with you … I have my ways . She had said. Could it be…? Most probably someone would think she's crazy, that she's still recovering from her fever, that she misses her sister and that makes her see things. But she felt something. She could swear the hummingbird was looking at her.
"Beth," Amy said with a watery smile. The baby made noises pointing at the bird. "Oh sweety, look. It is a hummingbird. It's so pretty, isn't it?"
Anne then came with a cup of tea for Amy, scaring the little bird. But it wouldn't be the last time it visited her. Later, she would confess it to her sisters and they would share similar stories. Marmee too and Mr. March was convinced that it was Beth. Even Laurie said he felt his parents. It made them all feel better.
Like Beth said, someday they will all meet again forever.
Notes:
I hope you like it. I wanted to give Amy a chance to see Beth again. It also served to give a bit of background on Bess and how Amy and Laurie decided on the name.
I have always heard that hummingbirds come to you when a loved one dies. I promise you when my grandma died a hummingbird entered the house and wouldn't leave. And that was not the only time it happened in my family or that someone mentioned a similar experience. I did a quick google search and it turns out they are in fact related to spirituality and that they act as messengers. Hence, its presence in this story.
So, I just learned I'm going back to school! Yei! This means I'm not unemployed any more, just on vacation. So, I'll probably have much less time to write once classes start. I'm gonna try to finish my WIPs or at least make progress on them.
We'll see how fast I can publish more.
Anyway, thanks so much for reading and I would love to read your thoughts on it.
Also, what do you think is Bess' middle name. Curtis was just a joke, or not? I like the idea that it's Laurie's mother's name. Or Josephine?