The red-headed boy was crying quietly, his hands and face buried in the side of my trousers. I picked him up and held him to me. He was heavier than I expected, but I didn't put him down. Instead, I focussed on the strain of the muscles in my arms as I took in the sight of Hook in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, feeling breathless.

Hook opened his mouth to answer, but he was interrupted by the sound of taunting and laughter.

We all froze, and the red-headed boy buried his face in my neck, his grubby hands in my hair and cried harder. I could feel his eyes and snot wetting my neck, but I didn't care. Even under the cover of clouds, we were still out in the open street. We were still far too visible.

Hook wasted no time grabbing my hand and pulling me back into the alleyway that I had come from. I had left the grate uncovered, so Hook took the boy from me and let me crawl in first. Then, he handed the boy to me and jumped down, carefully moving the grate back into place as quietly as he could.

I turned to travel back down the tunnel when Hook grabbed me and pulled me flush against him, sandwiching me between himself and the wall. The young boy clung to me, squeezing against me so tight that it felt like he was trying to mold into me.

I opened my mouth to say something, maybe to protest or maybe to ask who he thought he was pulling me against him like that, but Hook's hand covered my mouth a split second before a shadow stepped over the grate and stole all sound from my body.

Even in the dark, I could see Hook's blue eyes watching the shadow above us, willing it to keep moving, to not look down and notice us beneath him. It was one thing for a Seeker to find us. It was another for them to find us in the tunnels.

Hook's heart raced under my fingertips, and I was reminded of the night he kidnapped me. He had seemed so calm in the rowboat, but I had felt his heartbeat in between my shoulder blades. He had been just as scared as I had been, just as unconvinced we would make it back to the Jolly Roger alive.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach as I took in the look of him, the smell of him.

His sharp jaw was covered in dark stubble, but it was groomed. His dark hair was the longest I had ever seen it, and it was evident in the messiness that he never left it alone. He smelled of cinnamon and wood and leather, and it was hard not to breathe him in.

I hadn't realized how much I missed the smell of him, the feel of him.

Guilt slammed into me when the shadow of the Seeker disappeared and Hook pulled away from me. What about Benj? What about the bond we had forged, especially in the past couple of weeks?

Besides, I told myself, Hook made his choice. He didn't want to help take down Pan. Benj did.

And Benj had never abandoned me.

But that didn't make it any less easy not to melt when Hook cupped my cheek and said, "I'm so glad to see you."

I blushed when he shot me his signature smile, but I broke the spell when I picked up the red-headed boy again and held him to me. The terror and anxiety had subsided and his body was like a sack of flour in my arms. He had tucked his thumb into his mouth and was sucking quietly.

"We should get going," I said, not able to meet his gaze. I started down the tunnel, and he followed without a word, for which I was grateful.

When we walked down the final slope that led to the cavern, my heart swelled to see at least ten more boys huddled around the bonfire with sandwiches in their hands. Saisha busied herself with pouring water from a pitcher into goblets and handing them to the boys. Sasha made sandwiches, and Harlan added wood to the fire, sending sparks towards the ceiling as the wood popped.

Benj hadn't returned yet.

Saisha saw us first, and she held out her hands expectantly as we approached.

I shook my head. "I've got him."

She raised a skeptical eyebrow at me and motioned for me to hand him over.

Irritation flared in my gut. "I've got him," I said again, my words clipped.

Sasha approached us with a sandwich. "It's alright, Saisha," she said, looking pointedly at her sister. "The princess is more than capable of holding him."

Saisha huffed, annoyed, and stormed back to her job.

Sasha shot me an apologetic look, but didn't say anything. She simply returned to her own job of preparing sandwiches. Harlan had left again without a glance.

Hook's hand found its way to the small of my back, sending a jolt up my spine.

"Let's get him to the fire. He's cold."

Sure enough, he was shivering slightly. He still sucked on them and kept his eyes closed, but he was shivering.

We found a spot near the fire and sat. Curious gazes from the other boys found their way to me, but no one asked what I was doing there. They were happy to be alive, to be safe in this place and away from Peter Pan and the Lost Boys who wanted to hurt them.

Hook crouched down next to me, pulling his cloak from his shoulders and offering it to me. I took it without a word and wrapped the small boy in it before cradling him like an infant. My heart melted when he snuggled in closer to me, sighing happily and finally relaxing in my arms.

I brushed the curls away from his face and smiled at him.

"You were always good with the little ones," Hook whispered quietly so as not to disturb the boy.

I ducked my head, my hair forming a curtain between us so I could blush privately.

The sound of footsteps trickled out of one of the tunnels like a bunch of small drums, and Benj emerged with a group of older boys. They were all either carrying or holding hands with a younger boy. Even Benj carried one boy in one arm and held the hand of another.

I felt my heart swell as I smiled at him. He was a natural when it came to children.

He returned my smile, but it faltered when he saw Hook beside me. I frowned before standing, the red-headed boy still fast asleep in my arms, and making my way to him.

"Well, well, well," he started, his eyes flicking to the large bundle in my arms. "Who do you have there?"

I didn't answer him. Instead, I marched right up to him and kissed him. The boy that had been holding his hand made a noise of disgust and let go, allowing Benj to wrap his free arm around me. The boy he had been holding wiggled out of his grasp and took off to what I could only assume was the food and warmth of the bonfire.

When we pulled away, I said, "Don't you ever look at me that way again."

"Look at you what way?" He asked, his face boyish as he furrowed his brows and pouted slightly.

"Like you've lost me," I whispered and kissed him again.

He didn't open his eyes as he pulled away from me. "Haven't I?" His voice was low and thick with emotion, and it made both my heart flutter and my stomach twist. "You still love him."

"Maybe," I said, unable to completely deny what he said. I knew that a part of me still loved Hook, but I also couldn't deny what had started to grow between Benj and I. "But I also still hate him, too."

Benj didn't push the issue, for which I was grateful. There would be time to work out the messy details, but there were more important and pressing matters to attend to first.

We made our way back to the bonfire together, our shoulders brushing as we walked.

"Want me to take him?" He asked, nodding towards the boy in my arms.

I shook my head despite the ache in my arms and promised it wouldn't be so bad once I was sitting again.

I caught Hook watching us as we made our way back to the fire. His blue eyes hopped back and forth between Benj and I before he got lost in studying the flames. He traced the curve of his hook, but didn't say anything until Benj asked how the game on the east side of the city was progressing.

Hook explained that a lot of boys didn't choose to hide in the eastern part of the city to begin with or, if they did, they were great at hiding.

"I think I've found all there is to find on that side," he said, careful not to make eye contact with me.

Benj nodded. "I could use help on the west side then. If you're up for it."

Hook stood without a word and without looking at me before he and Benj made their way back out into the tunnel and into the city.

As the night wore on, Benj and Hook returned with less and less boys. Their frustration was written plainly on their faces, but there wasn't anything that could be done. The Seekers were finding more and more boys, covering more and more ground, which meant that the longer that they were out, the more likely they were to get caught.

I had convinced Benj to sit with me by the fire and eat something. He hadn't stopped pacing since he and Hook had returned, and his hair was all but falling out of his ribbon from running his fingers through it, and I could see him flexing his jaw in the firelight. His arm was wrapped tightly around me, holding me to his side while I held onto the sleeping red-headed boy, and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"I should go back out there," he said after taking the last bite of his sandwich. "There's still plenty of time."

I peered up at him, but didn't say anything. Of course, I believed that he could do it. If anyone could, it was him. But I was also very aware of the danger he put himself in each time he went out there and rescued boys instead of returning them to the square like he was supposed to.

Hook took a bite of his own sandwich on the other side of the fire. "You're already a hero, Lad," he said with his mouth full. "Just leave it at that before you get yourself killed."

Benj shot Hook a look, but he didn't argue.

Many of the boys around the fire had fallen asleep, and they laid in piles of two, three, four, and sometimes even five. They used each other as pillows while others simply curled in on themselves and fell asleep. Even Harlan, Sasha, and Saisha had found places to rest, and it didn't go unnoticed that Saisha was curled up in Harlan's arms.

"You should get some sleep," Benj said as he planted a kiss on my forehead, but I was shaking my head before he finished speaking.

"You should," I said. "It'll be dawn before you know it, and you've been the one out and about."

He sighed, but there was no fight in it. "Pan expects me to be out and about and finding boys. I should be ragged come dawn."

He didn't argue further, however. Instead, he laid his head down on my outstretched legs and smiled up at me with his arms outstretched.

I shifted the red-headed boy off of my lap and into Benj's arms. He mumbled something before sticking his thumb in his mouth and returning to his peaceful slumber. I wondered briefly how long it had been since he had had a peaceful night's sleep. Judging by his clothes and the state of his brand, his family was either very, very poor, or he was living on the streets alone. And judging by where he was hiding in the city, I would imagine he did not have a family to return to. Families, even the poorest ones, didn't live in that part of the city.

Once the boy was settled, I smiled down at Benj and ran my fingers through his hair.

His eyes immediately began to close, the exhaustion finally winning out.

"So," Hook said after several long minutes of silence, "How long has that been going on?"

I couldn't read him. He sat on the other side of the fire, his legs crossed and his elbows on his knees. He was polishing his hook with a dirty cloth, but his eyes were locked on me.

I didn't know how to answer. I wasn't entirely sure what was really going on between Benj and I. Sure, I had feelings for him, and he felt the same for me, but my heart still fluttered when I saw Hook, and my lips still tingled remembering all the times he'd kissed me. I could practically feel the cool silver of his hook on my shoulder from when he had pulled the strap of my dress down in his quarters and kissed me there.

I had told Benj I might have still loved him.

And maybe I did.

But I still hated him, too.

Hated him for being a coward and for abandoning me when I needed him most. For giving me up to Pan and letting me spend a year in that awful place.

We had gone from enemies to being in love, only to end up in this strange space of resentment and nostalgia.

Benj and I had started as enemies, and had slowly become friends. And now, being away from each other was almost painful.

"Not long," I said, my hand never pausing. I looked down at Benj's sleeping face, and I realized that his face while he was sleeping looked a lot like when he was alone with me.

Hook nodded. "Does he treat you right?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"Do you love him?"

My head snapped up, but the look of him made me pause.

There was no anger there, no resentment. There was regret and sadness and guilt, but he wasn't trying to start an argument. He genuinely wanted to know.

I took a moment to think about my answer. I could lie. I could lie and cut all ties. It would make things easier.

But I didn't have it in me to lie. I did that enough in my day-to-day life.

"Yes," I said, trying the word out on my tongue, and I watched Hook's shoulders fall. "But—" I looked away, unable to meet his gaze, "—I don't love him the way I loved you."

He smiled, but it didn't meet his eyes. "I am pretty unforgettable," he said with a smirk, but it fell away as quickly as it had come. Then, he stood, and made his way to one of the tunnels.

He disappeared inside.

And I felt my heart start to break all over again.