A/N: If you are now surprised/confused to see an update this quick, imagine how I felt writing this. LOL This chapter was actually supposed to continue right after last one's since I assumed people would come after my head for the whole 'parcel-thing', but it seemed like neither noticed or cared much for it LOL So, I squeezed in a little Ranger POV that will actually bring both POVs on the same level in regards of time line. Also, can I just say that I love writing Lester. Because every weird sh*t that goes through my mind but would never be said by Carlos or Steph I can use Lester for. As this chapter is a very good proof for.
"We took a vote," Lester announced a second after he had stepped into my office and ripped my thoughts away from the stack of papers in front of me.
"About what?" I asked, closing the file I was currently working through because I knew this would take a while. It was Lester after all. And he had an odd smile about him. That by itself should already worry me.
"If you screw things up with her or she decides you are not good enough for her, she is fair game to all of us. Also, we'll hit you in the head. Hard. Really hard. For being that stupid."
"You don't even know her," I replied and saw my cousin smile widely.
"Interesting," he just said which confused me to be honest. What the hell was so interesting about my comment?
"What is interesting?" I asked, maybe slightly agitated. I had an entire desk filled with files, paperwork and reports. I didn't have time for entertaining Lester.
"That you aren't even trying to play stupid. Usually, you would have gone down the route of 'who?' and pretending you don't know who I talk about. Also… I am almost certain after what I managed to drag out of you and last night's showdown at the PD, I know enough to be in love already. Though I'm confused, since she isn't fitting into your usual crowd. She's feisty and has character. Normally, your companions fit more in the 'pretty face' category. And having a pretty face is all they can do. She however is a pretty face and someone who'll give you hell if you screw up. She'll be good for you."
"Thanks. I guess?" I said, not certain whether that was supposed to be a compliment of some sorts or not.
"Not sure why she'd settle for you though. But maybe that is because she hasn't met me yet," Lester grinned and I felt a need to punch him.
"No one has settled for anyone," I said through gritted teeth, praying for patience in regards of Lester.
"Maybe I should speed things along a little then and go to meet her, have a little conversation and maybe drop some weird shit about you. Like some weird… sexual kink of yours. I wonder though what would put her off?"
"Do you have an actual point with any of this? Because if not and you happen to be bored, feel free to leave my office now and take a stack of files with you."
"Can't," he simply remarked. "I need to think this through for a while and come up with some kink or fetish that might put her off. When are you going to meet her again? That way I know how much time I have left to come up with something. What do you think about Pony Play? Might that do the trick? I mean it is weird and yet innocent enough for her to be worried but not downright scared. What was she like in bed? Maybe that gives me an idea in regards to possible issues she might have."
"I'd advice you to leave now, before I throw a stapler or something larger and heavier and hit you hopefully hard enough to let you bleed to death," I warned my cousin, at which he just smiled even more.
"Touchy much? Maybe you need to get laid again," came his suggestion. "You know, she already changed you. You used to be a lot more… forthcoming when it came to your women and conquests. You used to share a lot more. Even women. Obviously not at the same time, but it isn't like you and I haven't slept with each other's conquests after the other one was done with her. Though, there were usually a few days in-between. What happened?" he asked, playing hurt very unconvincingly.
"I grew up and you didn't," I just offered at which Lester dramatized everything by holding a hand to his chest and pretending to be hit.
"You didn't answer my question," he remarked after a while and I just looked at him. Was he ever going to leave?
"Which one?"
"When are you going to see her again?" he asked once more and settled down into one of the guest chairs. Great, looks like he was going to bother me a while longer then.
I looked at him for a long time, debating my options and finally letting out a long sigh, knowing he could be impossibly irritating – well more than he already was right now.
"I'm not answering this because I want to fill you in on things but rather because I hope answering will result in you leaving soon after," I justified and saw him grin. "We agreed on two weeks before we make any concrete plans. Seeing how either of us has just gotten out of a relationship it seemed the most sensible thing to do."
"So, in other words, she did and you had to agree. There is no way you need two weeks to get your head back in the game. You never were in love with Catalina to begin with."
"Okay, Dr Phil, are we done then?" I asked, hoping I'd finally be able to get back to work.
"No," he replied. "Not by a longshot. Do the two weeks mean no contact whatsoever? Or just no dates and sex?"
"I don't know," I said and realized for the first time that I really didn't and wasn't certain what she wished for. I obviously didn't want to blow my chances of that first date by coming across as relentless and giving her the requested two weeks but bombarding her with things until then. Maybe I should have cleared that one up before leaving.
"You are hopeless," Lester remarked and I swear all that his statement was missing, was an eye roll. "And I don't mean hopeless as in hopeless romantic. Which we both know you aren't. So, I hope that isn't an expectation of hers. But…. It could work. Cut off all contact and in two weeks when you step back into her life, she could be desperate and needy and you won't even need the whole wine-and-dine shit to get laid."
"Statements like that make me have no problem whatsoever in understanding why you are still single."
"Why? You think it might take more than two weeks?"
"No, getting laid isn't my objective here. And what happened to your statement from earlier that you'd be next in line if things didn't work out between the two of us? If all you are looking for is a warm body for a few nights, I'm almost certain Stephanie Plum is the wrong person to go for."
"What makes you so certain she is the wrong person? I mean, she slept with you right after she broke into your place," he commented and while he had a certain point it wasn't like he actually knew her. Well, okay, I couldn't really say I knew her any better either, but I at least had met her. Before I however could contribute to this rather pointless conversation, Lester surprised me when he went on. "But all jokes aside, you really like her, don't you?"
For the first time in this conversation, he actually seemed serious. Genuinely so.
"All I can say is that my thoughts seem to always come back to her. She has a way about herself that is unexpected and unique."
There was a long silence and foolish me thought that maybe Lester had his fill of information and would leave. Should have known better.
"Can I ask you something?" he asked and usually he never asked permission before. That alone told me he was serious about whatever was about to come and that I most likely wouldn't like the question.
"If I say yes, will you leave?"
"No," he said and went on a second later. "Do you think that maybe you're fascinated by her because she was the first ever women to get away and leave you before you could leave her the next morning?"
"It might come to you as a surprise, but she actually isn't the first one. There have been other one before her. Not a lot of them, but she wasn't the first one to just leave, without a word, a message or anything. That is after all what a one-night-stand is supposed to be like."
"So, that's a no to my question?" he asked, nodding. "What's next than?"
"Honestly? I don't know. She doesn't play by my usual rules and everything I've done so far seems to leave her rather unimpressed."
"What exactly have you done so far?" my cousin inquired curiously. While I never was much into gossiping and kept most of my private affairs private, I also realized since I was at the end of my rope, indulging him might leave me with an unbiased opinion. Or more ridiculous suggestions. Somehow, I was willing to actually take my chances.
"I broke into her poor excuse for an apartment twice, leaving a message as well as my number both times, without any reaction. The second time I even came bearing a gift. Something from that lingerie store we have on a client."
There was silence for a long moment and I could see Lester looking confused at me.
"I… I wouldn't call myself an expert on woman in general – I just know how to get my way and them in my bed – but somehow, you breaking into her place twice and leaving dessous as well as a message sounds more like a crazy stalker than someone girls would want to date."
I had to admit, when he put it that way it really sounded more like a stalker then someone Stephanie Plum might be willing to contact. Maybe I should be glad I wasn't served a restraining order.
"And what would you have done? Call her and say 'Hey, listen, this sounds maybe crazy, but I'm the guy you slept with last night. Wanna get drinks some time?' Because that would definitely have been a lot better," I noted sarcastically.
Lester held up his hands in surrender. "Look, I'm not saying there would have been an ideal solution to how things were left. But breaking into her place might have been the most stupid one from all the options. You could have just waited outside her place for her, making this awkward as well, but definitely less invasive. Maybe… her not contacting you and also asking for two weeks is her way of telling you to back off. Gently."
I thought about his words for a second, wondering whether I had come on too strong and she really was just looking to put distance between us and let me off gentle.
"No," I said, more to my own thoughts than part of this conversation. Lester looked surprised at me as a response. "She... when I spoke to her last night, she didn't seem scared or frightened that I might be an unhinged stalker."
"Are there any other kind of stalkers than unhinged?" Lester wondered and I choose to ignore him.
"She was actually worried about an image I might have of her being fearless and wild when she isn't any of that. I think this is just a weird situation for either of us and we both don't know how to continue from here on out. She thinks that maybe within the two weeks, I might lose interest in pursuing this and her."
"So…," Lester asked by not asking anything specific.
"I'll give her the two weeks she asked for. I won't contact her or push for anything. But after these two weeks? All bets are off and I'll only back off if she asks me to."
"Maybe I should have that conversation with her after all, because… jeez. I think I've never seen you so into someone. But I guess, after the glimpse I got last night, I get it. She handed Morelli his balls. Well, in a way. Also… you realize what her not reacting to you or your present means, right?"
"No, what?" I asked dumbly and saw him grin at my widely.
"That she doesn't give a damn about whatever money you have or are willing to spend on her. If you went shopping at that lingerie store we have on as client and she didn't care in a way that had her calling you within seconds, money, bling and luxury won't get you anywhere. So, you better come up with a plan that doesn't have you rely on expensive shit to woo and wow her."
I realized he had a point. After all, I had seen plenty of women going crazy after the prospect of anything from that store – seeing how upscale and exclusive it was – and Stephanie Plum didn't even take that as an excuse for a call. I really needed a plan. A plan that seemed maybe a little less evasive.
Two weeks later, I was surprised and also glad that it was finally over. While my initial plan had been to call her right on the day these stupid fourteen days were over, I came to the conclusion that maybe I should seem a little less like I was pouncing on her after the two weeks were done. So, instead of calling her right away, I restrained myself and let a few days go by – as hard as it was. I decided that for once we would go down a more traditional route and found a florist Lester recommended. Between two appointments around town, I stopped by and decided that instead of just picking an already put together bouquet I created one from scratch, having an eager florist run after me and picking up everything I selected. I might have maybe gone a little overboard, looking at the size of it, but figured if I couldn't contact her for two weeks, I might be allowed a little leeway. Hopefully. Otherwise, I would look probably desperate and a bit unhinged once more.
I picked a card at the register, picked a card and thought about what to write for a moment. Somehow, lengthy messages seemed odd and unrealistic, also what was I supposed to write? Do a quick Google search for some poem or quote? No! I signed simply my name, without anything and figured that way it seemed harmless and gentle enough, without putting too much pressure on anything. If she chose to let me down – which Lester still claimed – this seemed non-threatening. I put the card in the bouquet, gave her address for delivery and paid, pointing out several times that these better be making their way to Stephanie Plum by today. Then I left, went on to my next appointment and just hoped for the best.
And waiting I did. After the shop confirmed delivery to me and I still hadn't heard anything by that evening, it was maybe time to admit defeat. I had tried my best. Maybe it was time to admit that Lester was right, that I came off like some weirdo and Stephanie Plum was just looking for a way to get out of this and away from me. Maybe I had read this all wrong and she was really not interested. In anything.
I just made it back from another appointment the next morning, wondering how I would get a woman of my mind that had occupied so much of it these past weeks, when I spotted a parcel on my desk. I hadn't ordered anything and wasn't expecting anything either and since all parcels were screened and made sure they didn't contain anything lethal or harmful I knew I was good.
When my eyes landed on the address label and I saw who I came from, I was confused – to say the least. A parcel was certainly not the kind of reaction I had expected after my flower delivery.
I found a sharp object in one of my desks' drawers and sliced the parcel open, looking even more confused at what was inside.
A black hoodie?
What. The. Actual. Fuck?