Chapter One:

Six-year-old Yoichi Shigaraki woke up to the sound of shouting. His parents' raised voices drifted up from downstairs. This was not an unusual occurrence. He rolled over and stuck his pillow over his head.

Glass shattered against a wall below. Yoichi winced. He coughed into his hand. A few specks of blood hit his palm.

When his bedroom door opened, letting in a crack of light, Yoichi flinched and looked around for a place to hide.

"It's just me." His older brother's voice was soft. Hisashi stepped into the room and closed the door. "It sounds messy down there. I came here to protect you." His voice took on a bossy note. "Help me barricade the door."

Under normal circumstances, Yoichi disliked being ordered around by his nine-years-old-but-pretends-to-be-much-older brother, but he knew better than to argue in such a dire situation. He leapt to his feet and helped his big brother prop a baseball bat under the doorknob. The door had no lock. The barrier wouldn't stop a truly determined adult, but it might deter a drunk staggering around trying doorknobs.

The screaming rose in volume as both his mother and his father cursed each other.

"Don't listen," Hisashi said, putting his hands over his younger brother's ears.

Yoichi rolled his eyes. "I've heard it all before." He didn't know what the words meant, but the hatred behind them, he understood quite clearly.

Hisashi sat down on the bed, patting the space next to him. "Lie down. I'll hold you so you won't be too scared to sleep."

In fact, Yoichi slept better alone. He frequently found his brother's grip overly hot and smothering. But Hisashi liked to sleep together, especially when he was upset. He was just too proud to admit it. Yet even as he framed this as a generous offer, he couldn't keep a note of hopefulness from his voice.

Yoichi's beloved big brother always looked after him, ensuring that he ate meals and took his medicine. Hisashi helped him with his homework when their parents couldn't be bothered. As their father's drinking and their mother's moods had grown worse, Hisashi had started selling items around the house to create a hidden fund of money. It had turned Hisashi prematurely old and serious. Yoichi often wished he could do more to help his older brother instead of just being a burden. If that meant going along with his brother's deception and pretending to be weak, it was the least he could do.

"Thank you, big brother." Yoichi squirmed under the covers and nestled his head against his brother's collarbone. "I always feel so much more rested when you sleep with me."

"That's right. I'm here to keep you safe." Hisashi's hand played with his hair.

Yoichi squirmed until he got comfortable. The sounds downstairs had subsided to low sobbing.

Hisashi's grip around his brother tightened to the point of suffocating. He clung on as if to a piece of a driftwood in a typhoon. His breathing sounded hot and heavy in Yoichi's ear.

"Everything will be okay," Hisashi whispered over the sounds downstairs. "I'll protect you. Even if I have to change the whole world, I'll make it safe for you."

"I know you will," Yoichi said, because he knew that was what his brother wanted to hear. In reality, he didn't need the whole world—he just wanted his brother to stay by his side. "You're the best big brother ever. You can do anything."

Hisashi sighed in contentment and drifted off to sleep. Even unconscious, he clung to his brother all the more tightly.

THE FIRST DEATH:

Yoichi walked out of Tokyo University's science building to find two muscular men wearing black suits waiting for him. He took a step backward, wondering if he could pretend he didn't know them. Alas, they were already making a beeline for him.

"I'm here to escort you home, Young Lord," the man on the left said. The energetic bodyguard had introduced himself as "Machia" that morning. He had spiky brown hair, a large chin, and bulging muscles.

"Please, call me Yoichi."

Machia looked scandalized. "I couldn't possibly, Young Lord."

Yoichi sighed. "Or at least 'sir'? Especially when other people are around? It's embarrassing."

The bodyguard on the right took Yoichi's backpack without asking. He had long hair in a ponytail and a lean face. He'd yet to give his name or speak a single word.

Around them, students poured out of the building and walked down the sidewalk. They pointed at the men and whispered.

Yoichi winced. It was his first day at college. Already, he was standing out. Not in a good way, either. He hissed, "I told you two to wait for me off-campus."

"Sorry, Young Lord. The Lord ordered us to walk you to and from all your classes." Machia spoke of Hisashi in a tone of reverence reserved for a deity.

Sometimes his brother's fanatical followers gave Yoichi the chills. Hisashi didn't need anyone puffing up his overgrown ego even more. Yoichi would always remember his big brother as the little hellion who used to flick boogers at him and wanted to be a supervillain when he grew up. Yet also the one who'd protected him from their parents' abuse and kept him alive after they'd been orphaned.

Of course Yoichi admired his brother for graduating from college early, starting his own successful business, and founding a movement for metahuman rights. Yoichi was also grateful to his brother for paying for his college tuition. But the money came with so many strings attached. He had to live at home, even though he'd wanted to try the dorms. He had to go everywhere escorted by bodyguards. He had to eat dinner with his brother every evening, no exceptions for outings with friends. He had a curfew.

Free college was still free college, and Yoichi knew he was thinking like an ungrateful brat. He tried not to let the stares bother him. "Before I head home, I wanted to attend a reception for new students to meet older ones."

"There's still time before your curfew. I'll text the Lord to confirm that you have permission," Machia said. The bodyguard on the right remained a silent statue wearing sunglasses.

Yoichi hadn't asked for permission. He clenched his teeth and started walking, forcing them to follow him.

The older students hosted their informal meet-and-greet in a large barn converted into a party room. Clubs had set up booths to advertise along the walls. Most of the students milled about in a huge crowd on the floor. Some were swaying in time with the loud music. The voices mingled together formed an incoherent buzz.

Yoichi never knew how to act at large parties. He'd spent too much of his childhood sick at home. Various…family difficulties had also prevented him from going out and making friends.

Now he stood with his hands hanging limply at his sides, unsure where to begin. Should he go and talk to someone? But who? There were so many people and they all seemed already engaged in conversation.

Having the bodyguards looming behind him just made it even harder to approach any of his peers. He felt a flash of anger toward his brother for forcing him into his position.

Hisashi claimed that the bodyguards were necessary because of his involvement in the metahumans rights movement. His only family member might become a target, either from the government, prejudiced civilians, or violent metahuman vigilantes who wanted less peaceful change. Although Hisashi also refused to share many details with Yoichi about exactly what he did for a living. Yoichi wasn't sure if his brother was exaggerating the danger due to his usual overprotectiveness or trying to cover up that he was involved in something shady. Or quite possibly both.

"Shall I acquire people for you to converse with, Young Lord?" Machia asked. "I can drag them over here."

Yoichi burned with embarrassment. "No need." He strode over to the booths advertising clubs like he knew what he was doing.

Fortunately all the clubs had picked their nicest and most talkative members. Yoichi learned about everything from crocheting to fortune telling. He got in a long conversation with the president of the Ultimate Frisbee club. It sounded both fun and easy to learn. Yoichi decided to at least give it a try. He took a flyer and signed up for their mailing list.

It wasn't quite dinnertime yet, but he was starting to feel hungry. Yoichi drifted toward the snack table. There wasn't that much—chips, pretzels, and cans of beer.

Under the stern eye of his older brother, Yoichi had yet to taste a sip of alcohol. He picked up a can.

Machia cleared his throat. "You're underage, Young Lord."

"Come on! No one cares about that." Yoichi gestured at the students. Freshman to seniors alike were all drinking. "What if I only try a sip? One little taste?"

"I have strict orders, Young Lord." Machia's stare was implacable. "Lord has entrusted me with your safety, and I won't fail him."

Yoichi wondered if the bodyguard would wrench the can out of his hand if he tried to drink from it. Knowing his older brother, probably yes. He didn't want to make a scene by testing his luck.

"Hey, cutie."

Yoichi startled at the loud voice in his ear. Surely that comment couldn't be directed at him.

A girl with pink highlights waved at him. "Yes, you! I love how you've dyed your hair."

"Why, thank you," Yoichi stammered, even though the white color was natural.

"Would you like to dance?" She beamed, flashing dimples.

Machia cleared his throat. "I have also been ordered to protect you from any 'harlots or worthless punks' who might take advantage of your naivety and innocence, Young Lord." He sounded dreadfully enthusiastic about the task, too.

Yoichi hissed, "Hey, I know I told you not to call me that in front of other people!"

"Who are these men?" the girl asked.

Yoichi wanted to sink into the floor and vanish. "These are my bodyguards. I know, they're a bit much."

"You have bodyguards? Why?"

"An overprotective older brother," Yoichi said glumly.

"Is he someone famous?" At least the girl sounded curious rather than turned off. It was a miracle she hadn't run away yet.

"Ordinary people may not know of the Lord's true identity," Machia said before Yoichi could answer.

The girl looked between them. "Whoa. Are they for real or is this a joke?"

Machia reached into his pocket and pulled out some notes. Checking them, he recited, "Dancing is only permitted if your skin doesn't touch."

"That's rough," the girl whispered out of the side of her mouth. "Maybe if I give you my number, you can ditch them and find me later?"

"I will collect all phone numbers." Machia stepped between them. "The Lord must investigate your background before deciding if he should pass along your contact information. No one unworthy will be permitted contact with his younger brother."

Yoichi was legitimately about to die of humiliation.

Needless to say, the girl declined to give her number to a bodyguard and left.

Yoichi glared at both men.

One of them remained a statue. Machia had the courtesy to look sheepish. "The Lord said that a spy or assassin might approach you under the guise of a romantic encounter. He only seeks to protect you."

Yoichi growled, "No, he's just an overly controlling creep who infantilizes me."

Machia looked scandalized. "You can't say that about the Lord!"

"You just watch me." Yoichi stalked out of the barn. He had plenty more to say to his brother.

The Shigaraki mansion was surrounded by high walls with barbed wire on top. Armed men patrolled the grounds. At least the security meant that Yoichi could ditch his bodyguards once inside. The autumn leaves were brightly colored, chrysanthemums bloomed in the gardens, and Yoichi stormed past without seeing any of it.

Hisashi greeted Yoichi on the doorstep with a brilliant smile. "How was your first day at college?"

His older brother's sincerity took the edge off Yoichi's anger. He said, "All my classes were interesting and we have a great cafeteria. But." He bit his lip. "I need to talk to you about my bodyguards."

Hisashi said, "First, give your big brother a hug." He glomped onto Yoichi.

At first, Yoichi tolerated the suffocating hug, but after several minutes passed, he started to squirm. "Big brother, I was trying to talk to you about something important." Hisashi didn't let go, not until Yoichi shoved him away. "Please, listen to me for once."

"Aw, are you feeling shy today?" Hisashi ruffled his brother's hair. "I have something important to tell you, too. I got you a present. I'm so proud of you for getting into Tokyo University, baby brother." He tossed a car key.

Yoichi caught it by reflex. It took him a moment to process. "You mean…"

"Didn't you even notice?" Hisashi pointed at the new black Toyota Prius in the driveway. "All yours, my adorable little brother."

"Oh, whoa. You didn't have to—I don't know what to say—"

"Surely such a generous gift is worth a hug?" Without waiting for an answer, Hisashi immediately hugged him again.

This time, Yoichi tolerated it, because he felt like he had no other choice. Of course anyone would be happy to trade a hug for a new car. It would be so ridiculously ungrateful to complain. Did his big brother have to be so constantly touchy-feely though? They weren't little kids any longer. It had gotten embarrassing.

"I even got you a driver." Hisashi petted his brother's hair.

The joy deflated out of Yoichi. He jerked away. "Can I pass on the extra nanny?"

Hisashi frowned. "With your illness, it's not safe for you to drive."

"That's not true. I don't have seizures."

"You have coughing fits."

"I know when I'm feeling poorly, and I can use your driver then. On good days, I'd like to drive myself." Yoichi smiled, trying to show that he was compromising. (As he was always forced to do with his brother. Even when it came to decisions about his own life.)

Hisashi said, "I suppose that's acceptable, as long as you have a guard with you whenever you go out."

"Speaking of acceptable…" Yoichi gritted his teeth and forced his tone to become calm and reasonable. "I can understand the prohibition on drinking. The curfew is strict but tolerable. But you can't forbid me from dating."

"My dear little brother." Hisashi's voice contained a note of patronization. "You're a teenager. You should be focusing on your studies."

"I'm eighteen, a legal adult," Yoichi countered. "Other students seem perfectly capable of studying and forming romantic relationships at the same time."

"You could ruin your entire future with an accidental pregnancy, an STD, a gold-digger, or even worse, an assassin!"

"You're just getting paranoid with that last one." Yoichi sighed. "Don't you trust me to be responsible?"

"It's not a matter of trusting you. The world is a cold and dangerous place. My job is to look after you. The way I have been ever since our parents failed in that task."

Yoichi winced. His older brother had been forced to grow up far too fast, even before their parents had died. After they'd ended up on the streets, they'd both only survived because of Hisashi's cleverness and metahuman ability. Yoichi knew he owed his brother a great debt. His hand touched the scar on his left eye in memory. Whenever Hisashi brought those times up, he always felt pressured to do whatever his brother wanted.

This time, he knew the manipulation was intentional. Yoichi straightened. "You don't need to protect me from dancing at a party, big brother. Answer my question. Do you trust me to behave responsibly or not?"

Hisashi wouldn't meet his eyes. But his tone remained haughty. "I don't have to allow you to attend parties at all. Especially not if you're going make foolish choices. You know your health is too poor for you to play sports."

"Sports? What are you talking about? Wait, do you mean Ultimate Frisbee? That's barely a sport!" Yoichi's eyes narrowed. "How do you even know about that? Are my bodyguards reporting everything I do back to you?" Even worse, they must be delivering these reports more or less in real time for Hisashi to know so quickly. "Big brother!"

Without any trace of shame, Hisashi said, "I hired them to look after you and report any possible dangers to your health."

"Like a flyer for an Ultimate Frisbee club? What a grave menace!"

"Stop yelling, little brother. There's no need to get so emotional. How about this? I'll ask for a doctor's opinion on if you're well enough to play frisbee."

"That doesn't seem necessary."

"You can at least listen to what the doctor says before deciding anything. Let's move onto brighter topics." Hisashi pulled out a paper. "I've worked out a schedule for you to do your homework based on your current class load. I've already ordered your textbooks so you can get a head start on your reading."

"Big brother!" Yoichi glared. "I could have done that myself. You don't need to give me a homework schedule. I'm not a child any longer."

"But you certainly do sound like one." Hisashi's gaze made Yoichi feel several inches shorter. "I'm offering to help you, and you're pitching a fit."

His older brother had a knack for making Yoichi feel immature and ungrateful during their arguments, but when Yoichi didn't argue with all his might, he got railroaded following all of Hisashi's overly controlling orders. There was no winning.

"You're not my father," Yoichi said, knowing how childish he sounded. "You're only three years older. Stop lording it over me. I'm an adult, now."

"Then prove it by acting like one," Hisashi said. "If you obey my rules without protest, then I'll consider loosening the restrictions after you graduate from college."

This was supposed to continue even after he graduated from college? Yoichi froze in horror.

Hisashi mistook this for assent. "Now, let's go over your homework schedule."

What had happened? Yoichi had intended to fight for his freedom but somehow left with even more restrictions. No, he couldn't let it end like this. "I'm not finished, big brother. You don't have the right to forbid me from dating. If they keep interfering, I won't let your bodyguards follow me around."

Hisashi played his trump card. "As long as you're living under my roof and I'm paying for your college tuition, I make the rules. Either you accept the bodyguards, or I'll call the financial office to cancel my payment."

Yoichi flinched. "Why do you have to keep holding that over my head?" he whispered.

"I'm only imposing a few reasonable rules in order to protect my precious little brother." From Hisashi's smile, he believed he'd won.

Yoichi let his older brother keep talking while his mind twisted and turned.

It was a beautiful car, black and gleaming, with a fancy computer in the front and a minifridge in the back. Hisashi had even stocked the glove compartment with medicine and snacks.

Yoichi researched tracking devices on his phone. Then he inspected his new car. He found the bug implanted under the bumper.

Looking at the small, round device, Yoichi knew he had to make a choice.

"But I don't understand." Hisashi gaped as Yoichi dragged his suitcase down the front steps. "Little brother, there's no need to be rash. I never would have actually canceled your college tuition payment."

The suitcase stuffed with comic books weighed so much Yoichi could barely carry it. The handle dug into his palm. Stopping to rest, he met his brother's eyes. "You don't have to. I already called the registrar and canceled the payment myself. I took out loans. Luckily, another student dropped out and left a dorm room free." He'd been careful not to let his brother know about any of his plans until he was already packed up and ready to leave.

"Why would you possibly go into debt when I can afford to pay for your schooling?" Hisashi swelled up with rage. "You're even wasting your money on dorms when I have a house so near campus? Making foolish financial decisions only shows how irresponsible you are! You're behaving like a child throwing a fit!"

"Because as long as I'm taking your money, there will always be strings attached." Strings that had Yoichi dancing like a puppet, until he'd come to resent his older brother, though he wasn't cruel enough to say so out loud.

There was nothing vindictive about this. Yoichi hated having to hurt his brother. But he'd realized that if he wanted adulthood, then he would have to seize it with his own two hands.

Hisashi said, "You don't understand how dangerous my work is. Someone could seize you as a hostage or even simply kill you to get at me. It would destroy me if anything happened to you."

His pain and concern sounded real. Yoichi felt a flicker of guilt.

Then of course Hisashi added, "You're too weak to defend yourself. That's why I worry so much."

Yoichi growled, "You could give me a metahuman ability."

"I've explained to you a million times, little brother, your body is too fragile to handle even the feeblest of powers." Hisashi heaved a sigh. "Why won't you believe me? I'm only trying to protect you."

It was an old argument. Yoichi had longed for a superpower since early childhood. It hurt his feelings that his brother hadn't immediately offered him one as soon as he'd developed his ability. As Yoichi's body had grown healthier, his older brother's excuse had worn thinner. Yoichi mumbled, "Forget it. It would only come with a cost, like everything else with you."

"Excuse me? I've never asked you to pay me back for any of my gifts!" Hisashi's sincere confusion made it obvious that he just plain didn't get it.

Time to end this. Yoichi said, "If you truly think it's so important, then I'll allow your bodyguards to continue watching me. I'll even tolerate their inevitable reports to you. But the instant they try to stop me from living my life as I please, they're gone." He fixed his brother with an unyielding glare. "If you're telling the truth about the danger to me, then you'll accept my terms."

"You'd go into college loan debt just so you can drink underage and grind against strangers at parties?" Hisashi threw up his hands. "How could you be so foolish? Do you know how privileged you are to have your tuition and expenses paid for?"

Of course Yoichi understood what a rare gift his brother had given him. After all, he still remembered living on the streets and begging for food. A part of him did wonder if he was making a mistake by throwing away so much money. But no money was worth his freedom.

This was also about saving his relationship with his brother. Yoichi could survive four years of college living under a strict brotherly eye, but he'd hate Hisashi by the end of it. He didn't want that to happen. Hopefully without the power imbalance between them, they could stop fighting and return to their usual closeness.

"This argument is over," Yoichi said, his tone merciless. "I've made up my mind."

Hisashi whispered, "But I did this all for you. I made money so you could have the luxuries you deserve. I obtained power so I could protect you. Without you, there's no point to it all." His hands clenched and unclenched. He looked so lost and sad.

Yoichi's heart wavered. He remembered all the times his brother had protected him: chasing off bullies, letting him eat the last bit of food when both of their stomachs growled, and lying on top of him to block the rain as they slept in an alleyway. For a moment, Yoichi wondered if he should just give in so he wouldn't hurt his beloved older brother.

But if he folded now, this same fight would just repeat itself later. Yoichi wasn't a child any longer, and his brother would have to come to terms with that. He needed to harden his heart.

Yoichi threw the tracking device at his brother. "I found this on the car you gave me. If it's a condition of the gift, then I must politely decline. If you still want me to have the car, you can have it delivered to my dorm. But if you send it with another bug, then I'm sending it back to you."

As Yoichi dragged his suitcase away, he could feel his brother's stunned gaze on his back.

Author's Note: This story will update once a week on Thursdays. FYI, my messaging stopped working yesterday and then came back again, so I might be slow replying to reviews, but I still love getting them. I blame All for One, no doubt trying to stop me from sharing this story with the world.

The exceptionally talented tunafishprincess drew the cover art for this story. The cover art is cropped so it can't show the full creepy glory. Delete the spaces to get a link to the larger picture:
tunafishprincess.
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Machia = Gigantomachia. Because he hasn't received a size quirk yet, he's currently just calling himself Machia. His existence during the dawn of the age of quirks is dubious. But he's so adorable, how could I not include him in the story?

Fair warning: this story starts out mild, but it's going all the way to Vault Time. In other words, expect kidnapping, force-feeding, drugging, and loads of All for One being creepy.

This story is a prologue for Forgiveness is the Attribute of the Strong and all events here are canon with that story. However, it can stand alone as a pre-canon story about All for One and Yoichi's past. No knowledge of Forgiveness is the Attribute of the Strong is necessary to read this, although that story contains some more details about the brothers' early childhood, including how their parents' abuse and their mother's Munchausen syndrome by proxy (MSbP) affected both of them.

The title of this story comes from a quote by Oscar Wilde:

"Yet each man kills the thing he loves,

By each let this be heard,

Some do it with a bitter look,

Some with a flattering word,

The coward does it with a kiss,

The brave man with a sword!"