A/N: The characters of Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling! Also the italics are thoughts in this story.
"GRANGERRRRRRRRRR!"
Hermione Granger bolted up in shock, taking a moment to reflect on the fact that it was still dark outside before grabbing her wand and sprinting down the stairs of the Head Dorms. Stumbling over a stray Quaffle, she swore loudly before coming to a screeching halt at the bathroom door, stunned to see Draco Malfoy standing there in a towel, his hair dyed a horrible shade of crimson. Suddenly, she burst out in raucous laughter.
"Granger! I—you—who—HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME!" Malfoy spluttered loudly. "I LOOK LIKE A BLOODY GRYFFINDOR!"
At this point, Hermione was on the floor, crying with laughter at the sight of Malfoy's messy hair, bouncing atop his head like an overflowing basket of tomatoes as he ranted and raved. She wasn't even listening to him as he hollered something about an important date with Daphne Greengrass and having to visit his parents in Hogsmeade next weekend and them having to see him looking like an overripe strawberry. Suddenly, she came to her senses.
"What are you even doing up, Malfoy? It's" she looked down at her watch, "4:45am. I know your whole schedule, and you don't have anything to do until at least 9am! I'm sure you woke up early just to prank me. I don't know how you possibly could have done that to your hair, but it isn't my problem and I'm going back to bed. Bye Malfoy." And with that, Hermione stormed out of the bathroom and back up to the safety of her own bed, laughing to herself all the while.
But before she could sleep, she heard Malfoy holler: "THIS ISN'T OVER GRANGER! I'LL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!" Hermione rolled her eyes, slammed her door, and settled back in for a few hours of blissful sleep.
Hermione had been ecstatic when she had received her Hogwarts letter that made her the Head Girl for their makeup year at Hogwarts. After the defeat of Voldemort during the previous year, the Ministry of Magic mandated that all 7th year students had to return to retake their 7th year of schooling, claiming that no one had been educated while also fighting for their lives. Ron was furious, but Harry and Hermione were glad to be returning to the place they called home for one more year.
Sitting at the kitchen table in the Burrow, no one had been shocked that Hermione was named Head Girl. The identity of Head Boy, however, remained a mystery. It wasn't until Hermione followed Professor McGonagall into the Head Dorms that she made eye contact with the new Head Boy… Draco Malfoy. McGonagall had calmly told them that they needed to be civil to promote a good example for the younger students, and then had swept out of the common room in a whirl of black robes, leaving Hermione and Malfoy to acclimate.
Malfoy spoke first: "Well, fancy meeting you here, Granger. I must say, I'm absolutely stunned you're Head Girl. I mean who could have possibly expected it from a teacher's pet like you. I'm sure you positively begged for the job! Well it just got a lot better because now you get to live with me and admire my gorgeous physique every day!" All this was said with a smirk on his face that had Hermione just itching to take out her wand and transfigure him into a fly that she could then swat.
Fuming, she retaliated, "Listen, Ferret. I do deserve this job. I work about ten times harder than anyone else here, and there is no better person to help the first years. My question is, how did you get to be Head Boy? Did Daddy have to pay for it? Or was it Snape's dying wish? I'd love to know how Daddy was even able to buy your way into this… I know how many fines he had to pay the Ministry to avoid going to Azkaban."
Malfoy's face turned hard as stone, and he replied, "Don't even talk about things you don't understand, Granger. You have no idea what this past year has been like, nor do I wish to tell you. Hopefully we never see each other… or you'll quit before the year is out." With that, Malfoy stormed up to his room, leaving Hermione feeling a little guilty for letting things get so out of hand.
However, that feeling did not last. After her first day of classes, Hermione had plans to go study with Harry and Ron on the grass by the Black Lake. However, when she returned to her room to change, she opened her closet and saw that every single item of clothing was gone. Her wardrobe was completely empty, aside from a crude stick figure drawing with bushy hair and large front teeth.
"Malfoy! Malfoy! Where the fuck are my clothes? I have somewhere I need to be!" After five minutes of her shouting, Malfoy finally emerged from his room, looking incredibly unbothered.
"You called, Granger?" He asked calmly, while Hermione stood there in a rage.
"Yes, Malfoy, I called. Where exactly did you hide my clothes, I need to go meet Harry and Ron at the Black Lake!"
Turning around to go back to his room, he said calmly, "I didn't hide your clothes, Granger… I vanished them."
Unfortunately, the stinging hex she sent his way bounced off his already closed door.
After sending off an owl order to Madame Malkin's, Hermione finally left to meet the boys at the Black Lake. By the time she arrived, she was so late that the boys had grown concerned about her.
"'Mione! Where were you? Did Malfoy do something to you? I swear to Merlin, if he ever so much as lays a hand on you, I'll hex him so hard he won't be able to walk straight!" Ron stated emphatically. Harry laid a calming hand on his arm.
"No, Malfoy didn't hurt me, but he did vanish every single piece of clothing in my closet aside from the clothing I have on! Don't worry though. I need you guys to help me plan a method of retaliation…"
And thus a prank war began…
Two months later, and the war was still going strong. Hermione's latest prank to turn Malfoy's hair the color of Gryffindor was intended to hit him where it hurt the most: his vanity. When Malfoy walked into the Great Hall that morning with his hair even brighter than Ron's, the whole room burst out in laughter, Hermione included. However, she missed the dangerous looking smirk that appeared on Draco's face when he saw her laughter. He then came up with a plan of his own to hit her where it hurt...
A few hours later, Hermione was in potions, and she was panicking. She could not find her essay on the properties and benefits of wolfsbane anywhere. She swore she had it in her bag earlier, but she had no idea where it had disappeared to. Finally, she confessed to Slughorn that she had written the essay, but she had no idea where it had gone. He had looked so disappointed, and she felt despondent.
Later, she returned to the Head common room to find Malfoy seated on the couch, reading something. As she stalked into the room, she realized that she recognized the writing on the parchment.
"A truly inspiring essay, Granger. I especially liked the part where you talked about your own experience with werewolves. It's a pity Slughorn will never read it."
Hermione lunged for him, but it was too late. Standing, he cast the essay into the fireplace, where he had already kindled a fire. Hermione stared at him in astonishment for a moment, and then stormed out to hunt down her one true sanctuary: the Hogwarts library.
As Hermione entered the Library, she was shaking with rage. How dare he destroy my essay? All I did was dye his hair a stupid color. These two actions did not correlate. This is far worse than what I did to him. I need revenge.
Heading to the back of the library, she browsed the shelves for a while to calm herself down. Suddenly, she spotted a thin leather tome crammed in between two giant books about the properties of memory charms. Pulling it out, she saw it was titled Thinking Out Loud. Overcome with curiosity, she flipped through the book, and suddenly came upon a spell that would be her revenge.
Perfect.
Sneaking back into the Head Dorms that night, she found Malfoy in the same position he was occupying when she left. Furious, she stormed up to him and stood directly in front of his face. Lazily, he looked up.
"Granger, do you mind? You're blocking my light."
"Oh, am I? I'm so sorry, Malfoy. I wouldn't want to get in the way of your greatness. In fact, I'm wondering just what goes on in that wonderful little head of yours." With that, Hermione adopted a positively Slytherin-like smirk that scared Draco out of his wits.
"Well, Granger, I know you want to know what's going on in my head, but I'm afraid that will firmly stay right here." And with that, he tapped his temple and got up to leave.
Hermione, however, wasn't finished. "Not so fast, Malfoy." And she whipped out her wand, pointed it at him, and muttered some words he couldn't hear. Then suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his head that was gone as quickly as it had begun. Suddenly, he heard his own voice reverberate throughout the room, even though he hadn't said a word.
"Ow. What the bloody hell did Granger just do? Feels like she just sliced through my brain."
And processing the fact that he hadn't said that, only thought it, and the fact that Hermione was looking entirely too self-satisfied, he only had one thought:
"Granger… What the FUCK did you do?"