CHAPTER 19

Notes:

Hellooooo dear readers!

Here we come with chapter 19, some action for you! Wohooo! This chapter was very long, so I have divided it and part two will come next week.

I had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope you like it.

ENJOY!

When Severus woke up the following day, he leisurely became aware of his surroundings. He heard soft snoring behind him, a warm breath tickling him on the back of his neck. A man's body moulded into his, his back pressed against a sturdy chest. One of the man's arms was wrapped around him, his warm hand in contact with the skin over his tummy, as the hand had sneaked under his pyjamas. Severus sighed, noticing his lips twitching upwards, not needing to turn around to know who the man sleeping next to him was.

And for somebody who'd spent the vast majority of his nights alone, waking up next to a man, and that man being Harry Potter, was nothing short of a miracle. There was a point in his life he would've considered that his worst nightmare, as Harry's mere existence had been his life much more difficult. But it had been many months now that he considered Harry the man of both his night dreams and his waking moments.

He had no words to describe what the last day had been. For decades he had been fighting against his urges, never giving in to his feelings, to his body screaming for some relief. For the past months, he had understood that regressing wasn't humiliating or shameful, quite the opposite. He had learnt to use it as a tool to heal, he had learnt to recognize the signs of when it was too much for him and it was time to unwind. And he'd seen how was positive it was for his mental and emotional health.

The day before... Severus felt a rush of warmth and a fuzzy feeling settling in his stomach when he remembered how he had felt during that day that he'd been a baby. He didn't have full memories of the entire day, his childish mind remembering only bits and pieces of it. But he could remember the feeling of absolute comfort and safety in Harry's arms, the freedom he'd sensed in the simplicity of being a baby. Of being looked after and taken care of.

True, after taking that potion and being a baby for the day, he found it even harder than usual to return to his regular state and had needed some time to adjust. But he could already feel the benefits.

His mind was calmer. For the last weeks, he'd been so hyperfocused on the potion and on making progress, that he hadn't realized how tense he'd been. His mind had been in disarray, pushing all thoughts aside except for this project, and now he felt he could take a look at them and feel them again.

But there was something nagging at the back of his mind. He felt awful about how he had treated Harry. He still remembered, full of regret, how scared Harry had looked and sounded when he'd finally had enough and had confronted him.

Severus then realized that he hadn't been the only one terrified of being left behind. His own fears were a huge part of what they dealt with, and Harry put a lot of effort into making him see and believe that he wasn't going to leave.

But he hadn't been aware, until then, that their relationship had grown to such proportions, that Harry had that same fear too. Perhaps not to the same extreme as him, but he had clearly been terrified Severus had had enough and was ready to call it quits.

He turned around with slow motions so as not to wake Harry, who still slept soundly. When he was facing him, he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in. He couldn't believe he'd made Harry feel, for weeks on end, the same fear and anxiety he himself felt. It wasn't fair on him, and it had been horribly wrong. Despite his troubles and early mishaps, Harry did try to make it all better.

"Hey..." he heard a whisper close to him. Severus looked and Harry had opened one eye, looking at him still sleepy.

"Good morning" Severus whispered, his voice raspy.

He snuggled a bit closer to him, sharing a pillow until their foreheads were pressed together. Severus basked in Harry's closeness. He had been so focused on himself, on the damn potion that just had to work, that he hadn't realized he had been missing something for the last few weeks. He'd felt lost, adrift, as if something he used to have and know had disappeared. Now he knew what it was.

Harry's comforting presence next to him had been absent. Of his own doing, of course, Severus was aware. And Merlin, how had he even been functional without Harry by his side, he couldn't say.

"How are you feeling?" Harry asked, his voice sounding more awake than moments ago.

Severus sighed and snuggled even closer.

"Fine, I'm fine" Severus answered, the same small smile sneaking into his lips "how are you?"

"Hungry" Harry said, and Severus chuckled at that.

"Of course, it couldn't be any other way" he sniggered "if Rosie and Molly Weasley only knew how much you eat..."

"Hey, it's not my fault my body doesn't store much fat and they think I'm basically starved," Harry said in defence "but I do like to eat."

Severus, still sniggering, moved his face and planted a kiss on Harry's forehead. The young man seemed appreciative of his gesture, but he raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Severus asked, self-conscious all of a sudden.

"Nothing," Harry said with a wide smile "I missed this."

"Me too," Severus said, tightening a bit the hold he had on the Gryffindor "Harry... I'm so sorry about the last few weeks. I gave you pain, and believe me when I say I never wanted to do that. Especially to you"

"I know," Harry said, his voice soft and caring, not a hint of anger or resentment "and I believe you. You don't have to give a thousand apologies."

"And you know I appreciate it" Severus answered, his voice a mere whisper "but if I behave like that again... please, do let me know."

"I will," Harry said, nodding "but it's okay, Severus. Your behaviour is part of you, and we just need to learn how to work around it. I will never ask you to change. All I ask is that next time you let me help you. Okay?"

Severus nodded, not entirely convinced, but at least calm enough knowing Harry held no grudges against him for what he'd done. Much as he didn't hold Harry's mistakes against him. Severus realized, right at that moment, that he had learnt to forgive and be forgiven.

Forgiveness. That was a foreign concept to him. He hadn't forgiven himself for his many mistakes and spent a lifetime trying to atone for them. Now... he was made aware that he had learnt to forgive. Harry had made mistakes in the past, mistakes that had hurt him, and yet he felt no desire to push him away because of those mistakes. Quite the contrary, he wanted Harry by his side, no matter what he had done. Because he had shown remorse, he had accepted how much he had messed up and tried to do better.

And Severus was about to do the same thing. He knew he'd hurt Harry and accepted responsibility for it, but the Gryffindor had forgiven his mistake. And now came Severus's hardest task: learn to accept forgiveness, given freely for him to take. He would need time, he was sure of it, but for the first time in a long time, he felt positive he could do it. He could do better by Harry, and by himself.

The following week went by in the blink of an eye. The spring break was soon upon them, it was already early March, and in a few weeks, some students would be going home for the holidays. Severus reckoned that the castle wouldn't be as deserted as during Christmas. Since it was a short break, many students decided to stay and spend some time outdoors around the castle grounds, now that the worst of the winter had gone. Besides, some others were already revising for their upcoming exams, especially the 5th and 7th years. the OWLs and NEWTs were looming over their heads, and they welcomed all the rest and respite they could get.

Severus took off his boots, sighing as he plopped down on the sofa on Friday evening. The week had been exhausting, but he felt at ease at home. Harry was having a shower, he could hear the soft rumble of running water from the bathroom. He grabbed his blanket as he draped it over his legs, and took up a book to read.

When Harry got out of the shower he walked towards Severus, not a word crossing his mouth.

Severus looked up from his reading and had to gulp, feeling a sudden heat crawling up his face as he took in the young man in front of him. He was clad in some old and worn Gryffindor pyjamas, he smelled clean and his black hair was shiny and still a bit damp and in complete disarray. He looked dashing, and Severus hid his expression behind his book, taken aback by the turn his thought had taken.

Harry, oblivious to Severus's musings, let his body fall down on the sofa with his head on Severus's lap, stretching his legs on the armrest he did so.

Severus didn't stop his reading, but his fingers unconsciously began tangling in Harry's damp hair. It had grown quite a lot in the last few months, and because it had so much volume, it helped in keeping it a bit tamer than when he had it short.

"Maybe it's time I cut it," Harry said as a passing comment.

"I like it this way" Severus answered with a lopsided smile, as his fingers kept playing with the hair "it suits you."

"Do you really think so?"

Severus hummed in response, his eyes not moving from the page, but he couldn't concentrate on reading. Harry's proximity didn't allow him to. The young man sighed against him, Severus sneaked a glance and he had his eyes closed. His breathing was deep and regular, and he was completely abandoned and relaxed.

He marvelled at how the most powerful wizard of his time was completely trusting of him. The one who could kill not one, but a hundred Dark Lords only with the power of his magic, and he didn't even have his wand with him. Severus noted that, seeing that there was no obvious stick close to him, in his pyjamas or nearby.

How had they come to this? How had they gone from completely hating each other, to tolerating each other, to being completely trusting of each other? Severus knew, with no hint of doubt, that he would give his life for this man. And he also knew that, no matter what happened, he trusted him with his life. Despite his still internal struggles and his many issues, Harry was the owner of his heart. And Severus knew it, deep in his bones.

He sighed and closed the book after a while, focusing his entire attention on the black strands of hair that he was caressing. Harry seemed to be in a state of deep relaxation, Severus thought that at any moment he would even begin to purr. He smirked, his fingers continuing with his caresses until Harry was almost asleep. They went to bed together, and Harry fell into a deep slumber almost immediately. Severus took a bit longer, observing his beautiful bearded face under the light of the dying fire on the fireplace. When he closed his eyes, he knew dreams couldn't take him to a better place than where he already was.

It was early in the morning when Severus woke up with a jolt. The voice he identified as Ron Weasley's was shouting their names from the living room of his quarters.

He scrambled from the bed, following Harry who was already putting on some socks as he hopped from one foot to the other towards the living room. He glanced at him for a second, his hair was utterly dishevelled – more than usual. But his eyes were alert, his arms twitching and tense as they walked towards the fireplace.

"Ron? What's going on, mate?" Harry asked as he saw his friend's face in the fireplace.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to bother you both on a Saturday. Morning, Severus"

"Good morning, Ron" Severus answered, still finding it odd to say the name out loud. He knelt down in front of the fireplace "care to tell us why you've woken us up so abruptly?"

"Sorry, but it's an emergency. Harry, I need your help with a case" Ron said, looking at his friend "would you mind coming to the Burrow, so I can explain?"

"How come you're not at home?"

"I had to speak with my father before he left for the Ministry. Hermione's been working long hours this month, finishing her project" Ron answered, "will you come?"

"Sure" came Harry's voice before Severus could say anything "we'll be there in a few."

"Thanks," Ron said before he said his goodbyes and disappeared.

"Is this normal? Him asking a civilian for help?" Severus asked, his brow furrowed.

"No, he usually only asks for my advice, but this seems to be bigger" Harry answered as he started to walk towards the bedroom. Then he stopped, seeming to realize Severus wasn't following.

"Sev? Are you alright?"

"I don't like it" Severus admitted "you may be Harry Potter, the vanquisher of the Dark Lord… but you're still a civilian. You shouldn't be privy to highly sensitive information, no matter how much Ron trusts you. And you definitely shouldn't be involved in anything from the Ministry"

"It's just giving him a helping hand," Harry said "I don't think Ron would want me to participate in any cases. But still, I said I'd help."

Severus nodded, although he still was apprehensive.

"Come on. We're going to the Burrow, maybe Charlie will be there too? Perhaps you two can catch up" Harry said with a lopsided smile "come on, I know you're dying to see him."

"I'm not "dying" as you put it" Severus answered, although a small smile had sneaked in his lips. He had to admit, the prospect of seeing Charlie Weasley made the idea of visiting the Burrow much more enticing to him.

"Come on, let's get dressed up. Ron's waiting for us" Harry said as he walked straight to the bathroom to change.

Severus did the same, and as fast as they could they got dressed. When they were ready, together they floo'ed the Burrow, landing on the Weasley's cosy and cramped living room.

"Ah, Severus, Harry, good morning," Molly said with a smile as soon as Harry got to his feet. She went to give Harry a hug, and Severus tensed when she walked straight to him, although she only patted him on the arm. Severus nodded at her, thankful that she respected his space.

"How are you, Severus?" Molly asked "you sure look a bit peaky. Do you want some breakfast?"

"Some breakfast would be lovely, Molly" Severus answered, only then realizing they hadn't even had breakfast or coffee.

"Morning, Harry! Severus!" A voice came from the kitchen. Severus felt his heart a bit tight with warmth as he recognized Charlie, who was clad in a beige apron and was mixing some ingredients in a big bowl. "You came just in time for pancakes. Care to help me, Severus?"

"With pleasure" he answered.

He pretended not to notice Harry's smile and the twinkle in his eye as he walked straight to Charlie. His big and warm hand laneded on his shoulder and squeezed tightly, the man's face open with a wide and affectionate smile. He felt warm inside, and his lips twitched upward. He couldn't help it, Charlie seemed to have a soft spot for him, but he also did have one for the Weasley's second son.

"Morning Severus, Harry," said a voice from the landing, and Severus turned to see Ron coming from downstairs. He was fixing his tie and his hair was damp "thank you for coming."

"No worries, Ron" Severus answered, "go sit, Charlie and I will take care of breakfast."

"Oh no, that's my job!" Molly exclaimed, already jumping towards them "go sit down, Severus, Charlie and I will do it."

"It is of no problem, Molly, I assure you," Severus said, "let me and Charlie handle it."

She didn't look convinced, but then she looked at her son and nodded slowly. Severus was a step in front of Charlie, so he didn't see what Charlie had said to her, but it seemed to work.

Together they started on breakfast. Charlie tended to the pancakes as Severus took off his robes and got started on frying some bacon and sausages. Molly gave them some space, and started on the coffee and tea for everyone, boiling the kettle.

"So, how have you guys been?" Charlie asked while he made pancake after pancake, his hands turning the dough in the pan.

"Fine, we had a bit of a problem a few days ago" Severus answered, "but we solved it."

"Really, what kind of problem?" Charlie asked, "you guys seemed to be made for each other."

"Sometimes it feels that way, too" Severus whispered. He was aware that the rest of the Weasleys were sitting on the table not far from them, and he didn't want them to hear. "But my bad habits got the best of me. As they always do" he added, his voice regretful.

"I'm sure that's not always the case" Charlie whispered, but Severus shook his head.

"No, it always happens. I was working on a potion that didn't give the expected results… and I turned into the ogre I've always been" Severus said. His chest felt tight when he remembered how defeated and hurt Harry had looked "and I hurt him. I… I still don't know how I let it happen..."

"You were never an ogre, Severus. Just played your part too well, and insults came too easily" Charlie said with a smile "and I'm sure Harry has forgiven you."

"He has," Severus confirmed "but he shouldn't have, not so quickly. Not when I hurt him so much…"

Severus sighed and fixed his eyes on the ginger man, his black eyes locking onto chocolate ones.

"He thought I'd had enough, Charlie, that I was avoiding him. That I'd grown tired of him and didn't even want to bother to tell him" Severus said.

"And that's a ridiculous notion, I take it?"

"The most ridiculous he's ever had, and he's had a few" Severus answered "but… I understand why he would think that. I spent my time in my lab, avoiding him and putting him aside… he's always looked after me and my needs, but I was too blind to see to his…"

"But you've learnt now" Charlie answered "and you will now take steps so that it doesn't get repeated again, won't you?" Severus nodded, he wouldn't make the same mistakes again. "It's all sorted then. Harry is forgiving by nature, he won't hold it against you."

"I know" Severus whispered, "sometimes I think he forgives too easily."

"No. Only those who deserve it" Charlie said as he smiled and nudged him on the ribs. "Come on, let's finish this, I'm sure they must be starving."

Severus nodded and served the bacon, sausages, and eggs he'd been frying onto different plates. Meanwhile, Charlie levitated three plates of thick and perfectly round pancakes onto the table. Molly levitated the teapots and coffee pots, and everyone took their seats around the table.

"So, Ron," Harry said as soon as Severus was seated between him and Charlie and had served himself some sausages and bread. "What was so urgent that you woke us up?"

"It's my latest case" Ron answered "do you remember I told you about a vampire that has been creating hell for the last weeks? Well, it turns out there are two vampires. And one of those creatures has been slaughtering people for sport. Last night he claimed his fifth victim."

"Merlin's beard…" Severus breathed. Ron nodded.

"It was horrifying. I've seen plenty of awful things in my line of work, but nothing was quite like this" Ron said "we're desperate to find him and apprehend him. And I thought you could help."

"I can," Harry said, his voice with a dangerous edge Severus quickly identified.

"We need a plan" Severus added, sitting straighter on his chair. "Vampires are extremely clever creatures, and we will need to be extra careful in our strategy."

"We do. But I'm sorry, Severus, you can't come with us" Ron said "I'm already putting my work in line by asking my superiors to bring Harry. And they agreed only because I'm Deputy Head and Harry is who he is. But I can't bring any more civilians."

"I understand," Severus said as he nodded, feaering that would be Ron's answer "though I would feel better if I could help, even from behind the scenes."

"I'll tell you all I know, though this is strictly confidential. You're a brilliant strategist, I'm sure you can help too" Ron answered.

The next hour was spent getting to know the victims and MO of the creature. They had realized they were two vampires when the victims presented completely different MOs. While one was clearly killed because the vampire was hungry, the rest were not. The wounds they presented and how the victims were found, suggested killing for sport.

After an hour, it was time for them to go. And it was right then; when Harry's shoulders were square and his eyes set and determined, that Severus realized he was being left behind. And he, a man of action who had been in the heat of battle too many times to count, felt horribly useless at not being able to help. Besides, he knew his partner was Harry bloody Potter, but a sudden worry overcame him.

Harry must've seen his expression, for he called him and took him aside, a few steps away from the rest of the family.

"It'll be fine, okay?" Harry whispered.

"Please, be alert and on guard," Severus said in the same manner "I don't want to imagine…"

"Shhh I know," Harry said, taking a step forward "I'll be careful. You stay with Charlie and catch up with him, okay?"

Severus saw Harry looking behind him, and a second later he felt a warm and big hand on his back. The pressure was strong, but not uncomfortable, quite the opposite. He felt he was grasping at straws, and looked at Harry, desperate and suddenly wishing he didn't have to go.

"I'll be fine, Sev. I'll be back in no time," Harry said in a soft voice.

Then, with a quick gesture, Harry leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. Severus took a ragged breath, feeling his throat suddenly clogged and dry, his hands itching to grab Harry and not let him go. His arms acted of their own accord and wrapped around the man, bringing him closer, one of his hands tangling in his hair.

He inhaled his scent, of old parchment and ink, and for a second he wished they were in his rooms, draped in his blanket and reading next to the fireplace. Not saying goodbye before Harry faced a ferocious creature.

A shiver ran down his spine, remembering his own encounters with vampires - although few, they'd been terrifying - or with werewolves. His hands gripped Harry's clothes tighter.

"I'll be okay, Severus. I'll watch out and use the techniques I learnt" Harry said, in an attempt to calm him down, Severus was sure.

Finally, Severus's arms let him go, but still, he was reluctant. He pressed their foreheads together and took in Harry's smell one last time.

"Please, be very careful" he whispered as closed his eyes. He felt the Gryffindor nodding, his foreheads still pressed together.

"I will, I promise," Harry said in a whisper, and then he kissed the tip of his nose "see you later, Sev."

As Harry took a step back, Charlie's hand landed again on his back, and then moved to his shoulder. It squeezed tightly, and Severus felt he was giving him support but also to make sure he wasn't following them. And for a split second, that course of action was extremely tempting.

But then Harry took a step forward, grabbed a handful of floo powder and followed Ron. With a swirl of green, both Harry and Ron disappeared to the Ministry, and the flames extinguished. Severus's eyes kept looking, his lips pressed into a thin line until Charlie's soft voice spoke very close to his ear.

"Come, Severus," he said "let's sit down and have some chamomile tea. It'll make you feel better."

He didn't feel anything would make him feel better, but he let himself be guided by Charlie, nonetheless. He felt Molly's eyes observing them, and he knew she had tons of questions, but he felt he could answer none.

He felt empty inside, like a part of him had disappeared as soon as Harry had been swallowed by the swirl of green flames. Charlie's hand was the only thing keeping him somewhat tethered. He realized the man had never stopped their contact, his hand guiding him towards the table and then soothingly squeezing his arm.

"Will you tell me about your experiments, Severus?"

"I know what you're doing, Charlie. It is unnecessary" Severus said. Charlie feigned innocence, but Severus could clearly see it in his eyes "you're attempting to distract me. But you don't understand. I cannot be distracted."

"I can try," Charlie said, shrugging "I know you're worried about Harry, but he will be fine. He knows how to look after himself."

"I know that. But he has no formal training, which your brother and the rest of the Aurors have" Severus said. "He has survived a hundred times mainly on nerve and bravery. But I fear this time that will not be enough…"

"I know what you feel, I worry too" Molly interjected.

Severus looked at her through narrowed, hard eyes. He was about to retort that she couldn't possibly know what he was feeling when he realized who Molly was.

She was the mother of seven kids who had all decided to be part of the Light and had fought against the Dark Lord. She had lost a son in the battle against the Darkness, and another of her sons had decided to become a Dark Wizard catcher. Worry and concern for her family had been the primary thought in her mind for over two decades, and it would still go on, probably until her dying days.

"The worry and the torment every time one of my children goes into a dangerous situation by themselves never goes away" Molly continued. "But I've also learnt to trust their instincts and abilities. Accidents can always happen, but it's Ron and Harry we're talking about. With everything they did in school together, this should not be more complicated than that."

"I hope you are right, Molly," Severus said as he sighed, taking a sip of the scorching tea Charlie had served him.

Time elapsed slowly. Severus wished he'd gone home or taken something to occupy his mind with. Charlie tempted him into a game of Wizarding Chess, but he'd lost appallingly after only a few movements. His mind was not where it should be.

After the third cup of tea, Severus was ready to climb the walls. He didn't say so, but he felt anxiety riling up in him, making his patience short and his answers monosyllabic.

And then, Severus's worst fears became true.

The atmosphere changed when a Patronus entered the Burrow through the kitchen window. Severus had never seen it, but he recognized the blue and white Jack Russell Terrier Harry had mentioned some time.

Ron's Patronus.

"It's over. We got him, but Harry is injured" Ron's voice echoed in the room, it sounded deep and more aggravating than Severus ever remembered it being. He almost choked, and his heart stopped. "It's not very serious, but we had to go to Medical. We'll be home in a few hours."

The Patronus disappeared, and Severus blinked, in shock and horrified at its words.

Harry.

Harry, who'd been fighting a vampire, who'd faced the creature with no more weapon than his wand and his strength, but which was no rival for such a vicious creature, who...

He couldn't think. He felt his ears ringing, and he noticed his breathing was shallow when he felt like he was suffocating.

"Severus?"

"He's... I told him this could happen, I said..." he found it impossible to form a coherent thought. His mind was reeling.

"I know, but he'll be fine, Severus" Charlie whispered as he tried to sit down closer to him "you heard Ron, he's in Medical now, he won't..."

"You don't understand! He cannot die!" Severus exclaimed, jumping to his feet and kicking the chair a few feet away.

He felt his breathing erratic, he panted, trying to get more oxygen into his lungs.

"He will not die" Charlie answered, not bothered by Severus's outburst. "It's Harry we're talking about, and you heard Ron, it wasn't too serious. He'll be here in a bit, probably bruised but very much alive."

But his mind couldn't stop spinning, it couldn't stop conjuring images of Harry's bloody, bruised body lying on a floor of a darkened, nameless alley.

But then, Severus noticed himself slipping.

It happened too quickly, and he had no means of stopping it. He tried to stop a sob that wanted to come out, and he closed his eyes shut, choking back tears. He felt his hands closing in fists, so tight the nails were digging into his palms.

"Severus?" came Charlie's soft and concerned voice. But he shook his head, clenching his jaw, his teeth pressed together so hard he could feel the pain "Severus, what's wrong?"

He had to escape, now.

He had to breathe, he had to scream, he had to…

He crossed the living room in two strides, and he jumped outside, not even realizing the door opened for him without even touching it. He ran outside, the cold air of midmorning burning his lungs, and he saw the Weasley's shed in the short distance. He ran and ran, panting, as he heard Charlie screaming his name behind him. But he couldn't… he could not let him see.

Charlie had been so nice to him, what would he think of him if he saw him like that? No, he couldn't let him see.

He scurried inside the shed and closed the door behind him, his legs no longer supporting him and falling to his knees. He crawled through the dusty floor, curling up against the wall as far as he could from the door, his knees close to his chest. And finally, he could not control his sobs any longer.

He cried and cried, coughing, and sputtering as he inhaled the dusty air of the shed, but he didn't care. His Little mind was taking over, he was beginning to lose awareness of his surroundings, and all he wanted was to be close to Harry.

But Harry wasn't here.

Harry was... Harry was injured, miles away from him, and he could do nothing to keep him safe. And what if he died, what if... No, he couldn't die now, Severus couldn't lose him! He'd promised!

Severus sobbed loudly, his hands grabbing his arms, his nails digging into his skin.

"Sev?" came a soft voice behind the door. But Severus couldn't answer. He took a ragged breath and coughed.

The door opened gently. Severus could distinguish Charlie closing the door behind him and walking with small steps towards him. He felt him sitting down next to him, his knees brushing against his legs. One of his hands touched him in the arm, and Severus looked up.

"Ha-Hawee?"

"Harry will be back soon, buddy. They're treating his injury" Charlie whispered, and another sob emerged from Severus. He wanted Hawee, and wanted him now! "He will be back in no time and he'll be fine..."

"No, I wan' Hawee!" Severus screamed.

And then, his mind took him to horrible scenarios, each more horrifying than the last. What if... what if he couldn't come back? Or worse, what if he had left? What if he didn't want to come back? He couldn't stop the tears at the thought, and he felt something in his chest tightening, and a sob emerged from him.

"Com bac?" he asked, looking at Charlie through tear-stricken eyes.

"Of course he'll come back, Sev" Charlie whispered "he won't leave you here. As soon as he's well, he'll be back for you. You'll see…"

But Severus couldn't stop the tears, he felt his little mind overwhelmed with feelings he didn't understand, and all he wanted to do was cry. He curled up a bit more, hugging his knees and hiding his face in his arms when he heard Charlie's voice next to him.

"Shhhh it's alright, Severus…" the voice said, "come here…"

Charlie was looking at him, his chocolate eyes warm, his lips turned into a small, encouraging smile. And Severus let himself be comforted. He let Charlie's arms surround him and pull him in, he let his head rest against his chest as the tears kept flooding his cheeks.

Not once did Charlie say a word against Severus. All the Potions Master could hear was Charlie's soft, humming voice close to him, as he held him gently. His strong arms were surrounding him, his face against his sturdy chest, so different from Harry's.

But of course, while Charlie was surely doing his best, he was no Harry.

"I w-wan' H-Hawee…" Severus sobbed, his voice breaking, choking with emotion "I w-wan…"

"I know, buddy, I know… he'll be back soon…" Charlie whispered.

Unconsciously, Severus's fingers went to his chest, he started to feel it was hard to breathe. And then, he noticed the small ampulla. He could not use it, in the haze of his Little feelings he was aware he could make Harry's injury worse, and he didn't want to distract him. But he was miserable, and he wanted him!

He sobbed louder, burrowing his face further against Charlie's clothes as he felt Harry's absence, and with no means of getting him back. His fingers curled around the ampulla over his clothes, careful not to touch it to not activate its magic. But still, the pain and anxiety at being away from Harry, from the man who'd given him so much, were killing him.

And then, he tensed, as a few drops of pee escaped his crotch. He hadn't realized he needed the loo. He pressed his legs together, forcing the pee to stay inside, and he whimpered.

But Charlie seemed to realize what was happening. With gentle movements, he stopped hugging him. Severus reacted on instinct and grabbed him by the clothes, keeping him in place as he shrieked.

"Shhh I'm not going anywhere, Severus" Charlie whispered "I just think you need the loo. Come on, let's get you inside…"

"No, no…" Severus said as he shook his head, his hair stuck to his wet cheeks "no go, no…"

"Severus, if we don't go now you are going to have an accident" Charlie whispered "I think it's better if we avoid that. Yeah?"

But his need was so urgent, Severus couldn't move. If he did, the pee would burst out. He whimpered again, trying to restrain it, keep it inside as much as he could. Charlie seemed to understand. He stopped trying to pull Severus up, and instead sat down even closer to him. His hand went to Severus's back, drawing soothing circles.

"Shhhh it's okay Sev… we can fix it later, let it go…"

"N-no! I can't!" Severus sobbed, shaking his head again. He felt Charlie's other hand on his face, wiping his tears away and placing his hair behind his ear.

"Yes, you can, buddy" Charlie spoke, his voice sounding sweet and gentle "we'll clean it up… if you keep it in, you'll hurt yourself… it's alright, I promise. Come on, let go…"

Severus tried to keep it inside, he pressed his legs as much as he could, but he was unable to.

With a sob, he felt the first drops of pee leaking, and then a stream burst out, wetting his underwear, his black trousers, even his robes. The warm liquid seeped into his clothes and dripped onto the floor, creating a small puddle under his bum. The smell started to waft the room, and it was awful.

His sobs grew louder and louder and he tried to hide his face in his arms, miserable and mortified. The pants were starting to get stuck to his skin, and it felt cold and damp. He cried and cried, wanting to disappear from the face of the Earth.

Now he'd done it, now Charlie would hate him, he would take out his belt and... and...

But then, the wetness disappeared. Severus choked on a sob when he felt warmth spreading from his crotch through his inner legs and bum. His clothes were clean and dry, the smell of urine had disappeared. He looked up, almost marvelled, just in time to see Charlie pocketing his wand, a soft smile on his lips.

"I told you we could fix it" he whispered, the smile never leaving his lips "you're alright, Severus. Everything is fine, you did nothing wrong."

Charlie sat a bit closer to him and his warm and big hand landed on his shoulder. He squeezed, gently, and Severus gasped. He still... didn't reject him? Then, Charlie opened his other arm and waited. Severus stared at him, his hands itching to hold onto him. But could he...?

"Do you want a hug, buddy?" Charlie asked, his voice was nice and encouraging.

And Severus could do little else but scramble to his lap as his eyes filled with renewed tears and he sobbed loudly. The day couldn't be more horrible, he wanted some respite, someone to comfort him, and Charlie was offering it.

The dragonologist allowed it, pressing him against his chest as he encouraged him to burrow his face in his robes. He started to rock him back and forth, back and forth; and softly humming as he did so. Severus closed his eyes, needing something to be soothed. He missed Harry and he missed his blankie, he had nothing he could use. Another sob emerged from him, and he barely realized his thumb finding its way to his mouth, needing something, anything to feel better. He sucked and sucked, desperately trying to find some relief, as he heard Charlie's soft humming in his ear.

Soon after, he drifted off.

And that's it!

Poor Severus, he just can't get a respite, but thankfully Charlie is back!

Did you enjoy it? Did Charlie do a good job taking care of him?

Next chapter, Harry's side of the incident with the vampire! How do you think it happened? Leave your predictions and thoughts below!

I have to mention (again) Tiranog's fic "Nocturne", as the idea for the vampire came from there. That fic has Severus as a vampire and it is an absolute masterpiece. I can't recommend it enough.

As always, a thousand thanks to each and every one of you who read and/or commented on the story, I appreciate it a lot.

I'll see you next week for the next instalment, where all the mysteries will be answered.

Have a safe week!