Author's Note:

Hello there! It's pre-written so if ya like it follow along for weekly updates. ;)

Beta'd by the one and only Captain Meowvel!

Dear Diary,

Tikki says that self-reflection is a good way to process and de-stress. I think I sometimes just need a judgment-free zone to be my most rambling, ineloquent, overthinking self. Alya has her Ladyblog to voice her opinion on all the things she cares about. (So obviously it features a completely fanciful relationship between my superhero self and Chat Noir.)

I've got you, dear diary — armed with a little booby trap for any unsuspecting creepers. Thanks for confirming it works, Sabrina Raincomprix!

It's been a while since I've last written so perhaps we should become reacquainted?

If life was a fighting game these would be my stats:

Fighter: Marinette Dupain-Cheng
Special Ability: Never-ending optimism
Weakness: Punctuality

Or maybe it'd be more like this:

Fighter: Ladybug
Special Ability: Creating more responsibilities for myself
Weakness: Endless fatigue

I am tired - to my very bones. I'm exhausted from having so many responsibilities, of needing to be brave all the time, of never being able to be who I truly am. I'm not just Marinette Dupain-Cheng - all-around klutz, aspiring fashion designer and awkward human being. I'm also Ladybug - superheroine of Paris, suave, smart and …so …so unable to do this all by myself.

Well, that didn't take long to turn into a depresso espresso. To be completely honest, I haven't been feeling the best lately. Not since becoming the new Guardian. Master Fu lost his memory, but I can't forget the image of his shield breaking. Nor how helpless I felt as I watched the pointed stinger of the amok attack him again… and again. Tikki says -

...sorry about the interruption. A stray cat came by my rooftop to check on me - he noticed Multimouse wasn't at the Miracle Queen battle. I have to say I was a little surprised. I totally missed that "Marinette" should've been there as Multimouse, but I think I managed to cover myself.

I was like: what battle?

Which was, well… okay - not my best work, but a whole lot better than blurting out I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU and Papa getting a little too onboard the Chat Noir train. Don't I suffer enough with the Ladyblog constantly posting photos out of context?

Some days I wonder if getting better at lying is something to be proud of. Now that I'm the Guardian, maybe I have to be a good liar. It goes against everything I believe in though because I HATE Lila - I mean LIARS! The last thing I want is to add "Lady Hypocrite" to my list of alter egos.

Anyway, where was I? - Tikki says writing about my feelings will help me to feel more validated.

My feelings, hmm?

I feel bad that my Multimouse oversight worried Chat enough to check on me in the first place. He seemed so relieved I hadn't gotten hurt.

After I gave my "brilliant" excuse, he stepped right up to me, opened his arms and I kid you not, I SWEAR he was going in for a hug. But then his eye twitched, his face underwent some kind of convulsion and instead gave me a pat on the head.

… I thought he was the cat?!

"I'm glad you're okay, Marimouse," he told me with a wink.

Ugh. Marimouse? Like I need another silly nickname from him. I think I may have groaned out loud, but he just looked chuffed. The corner of his lips slid into an easy smile as his eyes bore down on me with the full force of Chat Noir's charm. Puppy eyes? Please. Whoever thought of that phrase has not seen this kitty.

That's when I realised three things. First, Chat Noir is a lot taller than me; like, I actually FELT that Marimouse nickname. The top of my head barely grazes his chin and his chest is at eye-level with my face. Second, his green eyes are so luminescent in the dark that they practically glow. How had I never noticed that before? Third - and this I realised partially from the teasing and partially from the head-pat - Chat Noir is pretty comfortable with me. As in civilian me. Which is kind of a nice thought.

We were chatting on my balcony for a while. It shouldn't be too surprising considering Chat and I have always gotten along outside of akuma battles. Especially when he tones down the flirting. I'd even consider him a friend.

I promised to sneak him something from the bakery the next time he visits. After a bit of prodding on my part, he confessed he was particularly fond of our macarons. Oh - I forgot to ask him what his favourite flavour was! I must fix that the next time I see him as Marinette.

Anyway, it was getting late, so I bid farewell to Chat and when it was his turn to say goodbye, instead he told me I looked purretty cute with my hair down.

Yes. "Purretty cute."

He's such a flirt.

But I have to admit, it was awfully nice of Chat to visit tonight. And now that I've written all this out, I do kind of feel a bit better. I suppose Chat's visit helped me to realise that although I may not have Master Fu to turn to anymore, I'm not really alone. I have my trusted partner, Chat Noir.

He really is a great superhero. Perceptive. Noble. Caring enough to check up on random civilians like me.

I don't know what the future holds, but it can't be that bad with Chat by my side, can it?

(And she's back! Player Number 1 Marinette Dupain-Cheng enters the arena and plays her Special Ability: never-ending optimism. It's a CRITICAL HIT! Hawk Moth takes SEVERE DAMAGE!)

I'm grateful for my kitty.

Bug out!

Author's Note:

AO3's functionality reveals that this will be an intended 10 chapters and assures of Adrigami and Lukanette ship destruction. Thought I'd add it here so you don't miss out on that sneaky bit of info.

This story literally has taken me months. Diary-writing for a fic was a totally new experience.

Reviews absolutely make my day!