"Laura!"
"Laura over here"
"Hey Laura"
"Laura where are you flying off to?"
"Where is your daughter today?"
"Laura over here"
"Laura give me your best smile."
"Laura why did you leave the GG Awards early? Are the rumors true?"
Laura managed to dodge all the paparazzi at the airport until she was safely inside. It has been crazy with the paparazzi following her around after the allegations that she left the Golden globes awards in a hurry because she saw Taylor being overly friendly with Carrie Brown.
Two days back it was the GG Awards night and everything was okay until it was not. Laura and Taylor had been together most of the times until they had to do separate interviews and then they separated.
When Laura was done with her interview she went to look for Taylor but found her talking to Carrie and Taylor laughed at something Carrie said while the latter placed her hand on Taylor's forearm a bit longer than what could be deemed as friendly.
She made excuses and left and since then they hadn't spoken with Taylor and that was rare because if they are busy they'd at least talk once and then text whenever, that's how awesome their friendship was. Not that Taylor didn't reach out, she did but Laura ignored her.
Two days later Laura decided to take a mini vacation without telling Taylor. The blonde had to read about it from the tabloids and she was wrecking her heard trying to think of what happened and what she did wrong but couldn't find any reason.
Taylor tried calling again for the umpteenth time this past two days but again, voicemail…
"Hey! So you've reached my voicemail, please leave a message and I will try to get back to you ASAP. Bye"
"Agg"
"Where are you going Laura?" Taylor said to no one in particular.
…
Laura arrived at her destination and knocked.
"Laura my baby! Please come on in. You know you don't have to knock right?"
"Hi mom! Yes I do. I don't stay here anymore remember?" Laura hugged her mother and pecked her cheek as she pulled away.
Her mother shushed her with a dismissal hand and ushered her daughter inside.
"Ii didn't know you were coming or I would've prepared your room. "
"It's fine mom"
"Okay go put your bags in the room and in the meantime I will make us some tea.
"You don't have to mom, I'm fine."
"Nonsense, you and I used to have a lot of tea time together. Go on now."
Laura's mom made the tea and prepared everything while Laura went to put her bags and freshen up. Laura had always relied on her mother for most advice. Being home always made her feel safe and protected.
Laura came back downstairs after a few minutes and her mother was just finishing up preparing the tea.
"Oh good, just in time. Now where do you prefer we sit?"
"Can we sit in the garden?"
"Of course."
Laura loved her mother's garden. It was so beautiful and full of life. There were different kinds of flowers surrounding it. In the middle was a table with chairs placed underneath a tree that provided shade. Laura thought the garden also heals her somehow.
"How is everything back in New York?"
"Good…?"
"Is that a question?"
"No I am just not sure what to say because everything there is good mom except for me."
"Not that I am not happy to see you but I know you baby, you don't just pack up and go so what's the matter? Is this about what I saw on the paper?"
"Wow cant a daughter come visit her mom? And here I thought you didn't read that staff?" Laura was trying to lighten up the mood.
"I don't but I was curious okay… I get bored so sue me."
"Well?"
"Yes and no. I don't even k ow how to explain it mom."
"You can try baby"
"Have you ever felt like you made a terrible mistake and you cant do anything about it?" Laura placed her hands on the table and buried her face in her palms.
"Many time honey. Oh I remember how I firstly rejected your father when he pursued me and went out with this other guy who turned out to be not what I had expected at all. I was afraid to go back to your father because I thought he wouldn't take me back. How wrong was I, look at where we are now. He might be gone but he is always in my heart." Laura's mom said with a loving look as she reminisces about her past with her Kate husband.
"Whoa mom how come you never told us this?" Laura now was listening curiously. She had removed her face from her palms to look at her mother.
"It never really crossed my mind."
"what did you do to get him back?"
"I went to him and confessed my love for him and apologized. I was nervous but I knew I had to do it for my own sanity and peace sake. Anyway enough about me, now tell me what's bothering you?"
"I think I made a huge mistake mom. I though it was a phase and that it will pass but it didn't. I rushed into things just to escape reality and now I cant take it all back and I don't know what to do." Laura's eyes left her mothers and were casted down onto her lap.
"Baby can you please be more clear. Your statements are vague. Just remember to breath and you're talking to your mother honey." Laura's mom placed her hand on her daughters back and drew soothing patterns.
"I have been feeling this connection with Taylor, my co-worker for so many years now and I thought it was just because of the role we are playing together and tried to brush it off, you know. I always want to be around her and touch her or feel her touch me. I got scared and when I got with Ben I tried to cover everything up and everything with him escalated quickly. Not that I don't love him, I do, it's just. I don't know mom I married him and I have a daughter with him, whom I love so much but my heart is elsewhere." Laura started tearing up.
"I thought having his baby and marrying him will stop this feelings but it only got worse. Every time I am with Taylor mom I feel complete and this other time we were having a picnic with Ella and Tank and I couldn't help but feel content. Every time I see Tay with anyone else I get jealous without meaning to. I want to be happy for her but I cant Stand seeing her with anyone else besides me." Laura fried her eyes but it was futile as her eyes just released more tears.
"Oh honey. Have you talked to Ben or Taylor on how you're feeling?" Laura shook her head no.
"I don't even know where to begin. How do you tell the father of your child, whom you married and he loves you so much that you don't love home love him. That you're in love with someone else and that someone is a woman?"
"So you love her?" Laura's mom asked quietly. Laura knew it's no use denying it.
"I do mom. I do love her so much it physically hurts and right now I just want her to be here and hug me and tell me that it's okay, that everything will be fine." Laura was sobbing now.
"I am not going to tell you what to do because you already know the answer to that but I can tell you this. You being sad and unhappy is going to affect Ella and hurt Ben in the long run. You will never know until you take that leap of faith like I did. I know you have it in you because if you don't try, the 'what ifs' with haunt you for the rest of your life. Just take your time and do what will be best for you and your family." Laura's mom hugged her and held her close.
"Thank you so much mom. I love you so much."
"I love you too Snap." Laura chuckled through her tears at her nickname. Laura's mom was the first one to break the silence and the hug.
"Well why don't you go up to your room and take a nap and I will prepare us some dinner. How long will you be hear?"
"that's great, thanks mom. I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I couldn't leave Ella for more than a day." Laura said as she stood up and followed her mom back into the house.
Laura went to her room and freshened up to take her nap. She took her phone out of her purse and switched it on. She received many missed calls and messages but those that stood out were the ones from Taylor.
Taylor left her twenty (20) missed calls and 5 voicemails.
Message 1: "hey Laura, hope you are okay. You left quickly at the GGA so I hope there is no problem. Call me. Love you bye."
How I wish the last part was real. Laura thought to herself.
"Hey Laura. Are you free to meet up for coffee today? I got something I need to tell you. Please call me."
What does she want to tell me? That she and Carrie are a thing now? Oh my goodness what am I thinking about? Relax Laura don't jump into conclusions, you know what happened the last time you did that. Okay! Breath. Laura cringed at her own thoughts.
"I am worried now please call me soon as you get this messages."
She really cares about me. And now she sounds so sad and all because of me, stupid Laura. If anyone got inside her head they would definitely come out crazy for real.
"Laura where are you off to? You didn't even tell me you were going somewhere. I had to read about it from the papers. Please call me soon." Here Taylor sounds so hurt and it breaks Laura's heart.
I got to get my shit together and fast. Laura made a mental note
"Did I do something wrong? Are you avoiding me on purpose?"
No you didn't do something wrong and yes I am avoiding you but it's all on me. Arg I hate this so much. Laura knew that Taylor cant hear her.
"okay I will stop harassing you now, just call me whenever you feel like it."
Now Laura wish she could call Taylor and set things straight but she was tired and her mind is all over the place. She switched off her phone again and took a nap. When she woke up, her mom was finished making dinner and was already setting up the table.
"Oh good you're up. I was about to come wake you up. How was your nap? Sit and I will dish up."
"Thanks mom." Laura didn't even bother to offer to help because she knew it would be futile and she really was tired too.
Laura's mom dished up and they ate in silence. Laura was complementing the food as always and her mom just dismissed her. Laura and her mother ate and afterwards Laura did the clearing and washing of dishes while her mom prepared what they will watch on the TV. Laura and her mom cuddled up on the couch and ate junk.
The next morning Laura woke up and got ready. She said her goodbye to her mother and left for the airport, it was still 4h00 am so less paparazzi drama.
By the time she got to new York it was around 07h00 am and she went straight home. Lucky for her there wasn't paparazzi, just fans.
Laura felt anxious and dizzy. She was drowning and needed saving but unfortunately for her she's the only one who can do that. She called Ben to talk to him and said it was important. Ben was at the studio at that time and told her he will leave immediately.
…..Hours later….
The doorbell rang and Laura went to answer it.
"Taylor! What are you doing here. I mean come in, sorry." Laura was shocked, she didn't expect to see the blonde at her doorstep.
Taylor got inside while she responded with a timid 'hi'. It was awkward because usually they hug and peck each other's cheek.
"Please take a sit. Would you like anything to drink?" Laura was anxious and stammering. She didn't know how to behave around Taylor.
"No thanks, I'm fine. I came here to talk if you don't mind?" Taylor said above whisper.
"Of course, please let's let's take a sit." Laura's heart was beating frantically and she was afraid Taylor might hear it as they were seated closer but not in each other's personal spaces.
"look Laur, I know I said I won't bother you until you're ready to talk but I couldn't stay away and I am sorry" Laura was about to say something but Taylor raised her hand silencing her.
"Thing is Laur, I am so used to talking to you everyday and the past three days have been hell. I get that maybe you want to be with your family so I just have to say this then I will leave." Taylor took a breather before continuing and Laura desperately wanted to reach out and comfort her.
"I have feelings for you. I have had them for a long time but I couldn't bring myself to say anything because I knew they weren't reciprocated. I always want to be by your side, to feel your touch and hear your voice. Whenever we are in a room my eyes always search for you." Laura couldn't believe her ears. She couldn't believe she was hearing this from Taylor now and her heart was searing with happiness.
"On your wedding day, my heart shuttered into a million pieces but to see you smile and be so happy it made me smile too because I was happy for you. I always want you to be happy, even if it means with somebody else. I told myself I would distance myself from you but I couldn't." Laura's heart clenched at this and she felt sorry and guilty for putting the blonde in such a situation.
"I couldn't because I would rather hurt on the inside and have you by my side even if it's just a friend because you mean so much to me."
You mean so much to me too. Laura thought.
"Then when Ella came along, oh man the happiness radiating from you made the whole room shine and I was so glad I stayed and got to be a part of it, even if it was from the side-line." Taylor smiled at the memory and her eyes began to shed tears silently.
"she has brought you more joy than I had ever seen ever since I have known you. I continued to stay because I didn't want to miss any moment of seeing you interact with something so precious that you brought into the world..."
"When we had our picnics, I wished if only we were a family and that Ella was ours. I have come to love Ella so much like she was mine because she is a part of you."
Laura couldn't believe that she wasn't the only one who thought about this. It's like Taylor shared the same feelings and thoughts with her about what transpired those days.
"I just wanted you to know that I love you so much and I love Ella and I would do anything for you but I have to distance myself for a while because its becoming unbearable. You have left only for 3 days and I was going bat shit crazy and I can see it's getting my head now." Taylor was crying now and her voice was cracking.
Taylor stood up to leave and Laura caught her by the wrist.
"Please… stay…" Taylor seemed hesitant.
"At least hear my side before you decide to go" Laura said without letting go of Taylor's wrist until Taylor sat back down.
Laura told her everything from the day she left early to why she left without saying goodbye or where she was going, her conversation with her mother.
"I guess what I am trying to say Tay is that I love you too. I am in love with you and I am sorry I have been afraid to be with you, but I am not anymore." Laura teared up and her voice was cracking.
Taylor could not believe what she was hearing, not that she was not happy, she was over the moon but reality slapped her in the face.
"Unfortunately you are married Laur and I am not a home wrecker. I cant stand to see Ella suffer all because of me. She would resent me and I would hate myself for that." Taylor was sobbing now.
They just wanted to pull each other into an embrace and comfort one another but not yet.
"Not anymore. I told Ben everything and he admitted that he could feel that I wasn't totally his and he was grateful for the chance he got to be with me. We are filing for a divorce and custody will be equal." Taylor stopped sobbing and her eyes were as big as a sorcerer.
"You see before you got here, I was planning on how to come talk to you about all this without scaring you. I want to be with you and I want to do it right. If you will have me that is." Taylor's mind registered what had been sad and now she was crying tears of joy.
"Do you even have to ask? Oh my gosh I cant believe this is happening." They finally embraced each other tightly and crying in each other's arms but this were happy tears.
"I don't want to rush anything until the divorce is over." Laura said above whisper.
"But of course. I respect your marriage to Ben and he really is a great man." Taylor replied and they embraced for a while. Laura planted a loving kiss that lingered on Taylor's temple.
Finally everything seemed to be falling into place…