Hello, my beloved ones! Hope all of you are fine and safe. :)

Maybe some of you remember that I had said I would stop writing once "Together At Christmas Eve" were done because Mattel made me lose interest in the series. Well, actually I had in mind to write one more fic, but it happened something that made all my plans change and I didn't even turn on my PC during almost the entire year.

This was what happened. As I was writing Nathaniel's story, I got a hunch that such fic would have an "impact" on my life, so to speak. I could even feel at certain moments that the Lord were smiling at me and saying "this will happen to you," and while writing the Epilogue I just felt that He said "it already happened." And my hunch was correct: at the time I published the Epilogue…I was expecting a baby! :D Seriously! Heaven sent a precious baby girl to my home! That's the reason why I disappeared from the face of the earth this year; I was focused entirely on my pregnancy.

I could see myself in various parts of "Together At Christmas Eve", especially in Nathaniel and Caitlin's mother-baby relationship, and obviously, in the spousal love of Mr. and Mrs. O'Mara. As an example of the similarities between the fic and my life that I could notice, I tell you that my baby girl is now four months. If you remember, Nathaniel was four months in his first Christmas! :D And by the way, if you are thinking that my husband and I named our princess "Nathaniel's female version;" you're totally right! And yes, I already sang "O Holy Night" to put her to sleep. :D

Well, despite all my obligations as a mother, I decided to take some time to write this story, which is a kind of response to "Gordon will be my friend." Yes, another fic involving Gordon…I'm sorry, but I have no cure with this character, I even dared to write from his point of view this time. XD Hope you like it! The second chapter will be ready soon.

A belated Merry Christmas to all of you, my friends, and greetings from my little Nathania! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Thomas & Friends. All the characters who appear in this story belong to HiT. They are used for entertainment purposes only.

The OC Ellie belongs to Speckless Nougat. Used under authorization.

CHAPTER I

SPEAKING WITHOUT THINKING

"Am I really guilty of Thomas' accident?" -Gordon

This evening would have been very different.

If fact, it would have been a real tragedy.

I still can't believe that just a few days ago, we had all thought we would spend Christmas without Thomas. And not only this one, but ALL next Christmases…

Thank goodness, Thomas is here with us at Tidmouth Sheds, sleeping peacefully by my side. But as I watch him sleep like a baby, I can't help but remember everything that happened these days, especially what happened that terrible day, the day we almost lost our little friend.

One month ago, Thomas suffered a serious accident while playing hide-and-seek with Percy. I had nothing to do with it, but Percy put all the blame on me...and I came very close to agreeing with him.

Precisely the night before the accident, I had been rude to Thomas because he didn't stop talking and laughing at bedtime. I had lost a race to Spencer in the morning and was very angry because of that, so I took out all my frustration on the little tank engine.

"Can you shut up, Thomas?!" I roared, "Don't you notice that we want to sleep?! I would like you to become mute right now!"

That only worked for he and I to start a fierce argument that lasted until Edward intervened. I wished again in my mind that Thomas to become mute, without imagining that my bad wish would come true just a few hours later…

In the morning, while pulling the Express, I saw Thomas and Percy playing hide-and-seek. It wasn't the first time they did it. But it was the first time that I had a bad feeling on seeing how fast Thomas moved towards a siding to hide.

I was about to warn him to be careful, but then it happened…Thomas derailed and went straight to crash into a tree! I sped up in order to reach Knapford Station as soon as possible and then I returned to the place of the accident. Rocky was already there, and as he lifted Thomas off the ground, I almost stopped breathing on seeing the damages. Thomas was unconscious; his left tank was destroyed; and his boiler had such a big hole that you could see the internal pipes…We were all very worried about him, fearing the worst as we waited for the report from the workers of the Steamworks.

And we gave a sigh of relief as they said that Thomas was alive and could be repaired!

But days passed...and Thomas didn't wake up.

"I miss Thomas…" I said one night, "Tidmouth is not the same without him…"

"What are you saying?!" screamed Percy, "You don't miss Thomas, you HATE him! You had wished him to become mute, and now he IS mute! Your 'dream' came true! Shouldn't you be happy?!"

"Percy, I-"

"I don't want to hear you! You're the only one guilty of his accident! The devil granted you your bad wish! It's just one week until Christmas and our friend is lying as a dead machine at the Steamworks! Now I wish you to be sent far away from Sodor!"

Percy pumped his pistons and went to pull the Mail Train, leaving me speechless. Henry, Emily and James looked at me angrily. It seemed that they agreed with Percy. I looked away from them and stared at Edward, who was at my side, to see if he was angry as well. But much to my surprise, he gave me a compassionate look...So I dared to ask him a question.

"Edward…" I whispered, "can the devil grant bad wishes?"

"Well...yes," he responded, "doing bad things is what it likes."

That made me shiver. "So…am I really guilty of Thomas' accident?"

"No, Gordon, don't think so…You didn't want him to have an accident or become mute, you were just angry and said things without thinking...But in the bottom of your heart, you didn't have bad wishes for him…Am I right?"

"Of course! I never wanted anything bad to happen to him. I was just very angry that night."

Edward smiled. "I knew it," he responded. "Don't blame yourself. Forget what Percy said. He also spoke under the influence of anger."

Those words comforted me. Well, words coming from Edward can only be comforting.

I spent the entire night praying for Thomas to wake up and be with us just in time for Christmas. Then, in the morning, I tried to make peace with Percy but he refused to hear me. In fact, he was angry with me since the day of the accident and didn't want to talk with me. But I couldn't blame him. Among all of us, he was the one who was suffering the most because of his best friend's situation.

Fortunately, two days later, I had the opportunity to make peace with Percy. All thanks to a snowstorm.

The storm started when I was pulling the Midnight Express, and at some point, I passed Percy, who was pulling his Mail Train. He looked very scared.

So, after I leave my passengers at the Station, I went back to Percy to help him in case he went into trouble, although I knew he wouldn't like my presence. And I did it well, because I found him stuck in the snow and desperately blowing his whistle…

"I'll get you out of there, Percy," I said to him and immediately coupled up to his train.

He didn't say a single word the whole way. Then, as we reached Knapford Station, I approached him. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes…thank you," he whispered.

"My pleasure."

"Gordon…" Percy looked at me on the verge of tears, "forgive me…I don't wish you to be sent far away from Sodor…I was just angry as I said that…"

I sighed deeply. "Forget it, Percy," I responded to him. "I didn't want Thomas to become mute either, I was also angry on saying that...If you think I hate him, you're utterly wrong. He's my friend, my ally...I'm also suffering because of his situation...And you know what? If any part of my machine could serve to wake Thomas up, I would gladly give it to him."

Percy burst into tears. I remained at his side silently, embracing him with my steam. Then we went home.

And the following evening, I decided to go visit Thomas at the Steamworks. I still hadn't done it since that horrible day, because I kept shocked by the scene of the accident. But I couldn't wait anymore. I wanted to see my ally. So, I took courage; pumped my pistons and went to Vicarstown.

When I reached the Steamworks, my heart sank on seeing Thomas...