She woke to the golden glow of morning. Early-day sunbeams were streaming in through the large windows, illuminating the extravagant room. Sandstone walls stood tall, decorated with golden statues and mirrors of all shapes. The light bounced off them and shot across the room in a million little rainbows. A golden, spiked crown sat displayed on a pedestal in the corner. Paired with the warm breeze blowing in off the terrace and the soft bed, this place was perfect. Almost as perfect as the male sleeping beside her.
She sat up and pulled her wild red hair over her shoulder, draping it to one side, while hugging the sheets close to her naked body. Only her freckled shoulders and bare, slender back were exposed. She looked at him again. His skin, dark as fresh earth, was quite the contrast to hers, a creamy white. It was strange that the High Lord of the Day Court, one who could summon the light, was as dark as night.
They had been doing this for a while now: meeting secretly, stealing moments. And it was still just as wonderful as it was in the beginning.
The beginning.
Oh how long ago it all seemed. She remembered the first time she'd seen him; she couldn't keep her eyes off of him. He was so bright and beautiful, so full of charm. But of course it wasn't meant to be, but that hadn't stopped them. Despite reality, they chose love and created a way to allow their love to grow. Knowing the consequences of their choices, they knew they couldn't be seen together, so instead they spent their private moments far from her home, her land, her people, hidden away in his court, his palace, his rooms.
Without fail, every time they were together, the possibility of what her life could have been haunted her. It was as if after experiencing perfection, she was always reminded of the mess that awaited her at home. If she had only been given the choice as a young woman, she would have given anything to escape her betrothal to the brute of the Autumn Court her parents agreed to give her away to. The High Lord of the Day Court, Helion to her, was everything Beron wasn't. He was everything she wanted, and he gave her everything she asked… including himself.
Their affair had been going on for some time now, but she had a feeling it had run its course. She had started to hear rumors about her excursions, notice curious eyes as she walked the halls of the Autumn Court palace. Beron was none the wiser and she intended to keep it that way. But if she kept giving everyone reason to doubt her, she knew that could change.
Beron was ruthless, and if he ever found out, he wouldn't stop until Helion was dead; she knew that. It would be a bloodbath. She, herself, would be exiled or imprisoned… she was sure of it. She didn't think Beron would go so far as to have her killed, but she could see him arranging an "accident" to befall her shortly after. And honestly, she didn't know which outcome was worse. And no one would defend her; she was the one who had disrespected her marriage, broken that vow. But either way, she knew the worst thing was that she'd be separated from her children. They meant more to her than all of Prythian and she thanked the Cauldron for them every day. For them, she would sacrifice her happiness; she would rather suffocate in her miserable life than risk losing them.
Her boys couldn't go without her. With as much of their father's vile blood as they had in their bodies, she needed every moment with them she could get to help offset the evil waiting to take root. She needed to be there as they grew up and work to instill a goodness in them that couldn't be shaken. For some though, she already feared it was too late.
She shook her head, clearing her thoughts and bringing her back to the present; she needed to go, and she needed to go before he woke. If Helion knew what she was doing, leaving, and knew that it was for good this time, he'd try and stop her. He'd confessed his love enough times that she knew he meant it. Part of her wanted to be fought for, but even though it pained her to no end, another part needed to be let go. And she hoped Helion loved her enough to do just that.
On silent tiptoes, she stepped from the bed and laid the wrinkled sheets down behind her. The sun warmed her skin and she bent to grab her dress and cloak from the chair she'd draped it over last night… her clothing was much more suitable for the cooler days of the Autumn Court. Donning this many long layers here often made her quite warm. She reached for her heels and a sharp pain nearly brought her to the ground. She froze, eyes wide in shock. She knew this pain. Silently she bit back the lingering ache as it dulled into nothing, then stood. She felt the blood flowing through her veins, humming, her heart pumping in a quickened rhythm. Her vision was crystal clear, brighter, though maybe she was slightly dizzy. She pulled her hands to her stomach in disbelief.
No, no, no, no, no.
She looked down at her hands cradling a flat belly. She inhaled, turning her nose to her own skin… sure enough, the scent of pregnancy. It was faint enough now, no one would smell it if they weren't right beside her. But it was only a matter of time before it grew into an overwhelming fragrance noticeable to everyone under the same roof. It shouldn't be a problem except she hadn't laid with her husband in a long while, too long.
She needed to go.
She looked back to the bed as she quickly stepped into her layers. His eyes were still shut, dark, coal lashes fluttered through a dream. With a deep inhale, he rolled over and his long onyx hair trailed behind him falling over his back. The gold snake band around his arm shimmered in the light. She held a breath hoping he wouldn't stir enough to wake, and let out a silent apology for leaving like this.
She finished dressing and raced out the door, down certain halls and staircases only she knew about so no one would see her. Only Helion's most trusted knew about her visits. One of them would be outside, she was sure, and able to help her return to the Autumn Court safely and as invisible as a chilled Autumn breeze.
But what would she do once she returned? It was only a matter of time before someone found out. Unless… if she could lay with Beron soon enough she may have a chance of disguising the birth, the baby, as his. She could fumble the timing and buy herself a little bit longer. But Beron would be able to tell, surely. Maybe she could arrange a banquet when she returned, request extra wine and service for the High Lord. If she could just keep her distance until then, once he was drunk enough he wouldn't be able to scent it and would become forgetful enough to not remember what he and his Lady had or hadn't done after returning to their chambers. Yes. That was it. It would have to do.
She was almost into the woods, just beyond the Day Court's golden sandstone palace, when she heard shouting. She knew that voice and her heart constricted. She closed her eyes tightly wishing she could have been faster, but she turned and saw Helion running after her.
Thankful for the wind blowing into her face, she knew her scent would be safe. She would tell him eventually… right? Yes, she would. Of course. But not now, not yet. She needed to figure this mess out for herself first.
"Where are you going?" he asked, continuing towards her, "I thought we had a few more hours. You can imagine my dismay waking to see you gone."
His smile nearly brought her to her knees. But she took a step back, not allowing him to fully reach her, and then across his face she could see confusion drift to worry. When she didn't speak, he did again.
"What is wrong, my love?"
Tears threatened to fall as the humming electricity of the growing babe in her coursed through her body. It wasn't supposed to end like this. In all fairness, it never should have even started, but here they were.
Helion was bare-chested, his usual white robes trimmed in shimmering gold, wrapped around his waist. Sandals, unclasped, adorned his feet. He must have woken just after she'd left the room and acted quickly in hopes of catching her. His chest rose and fell as he tried to catch his breath, but she could sense the worry casting its awful shadow over his beautiful face.
Maybe the baby will have his eyes. She thought.
His eyes were so deep, so dark, it was hard to know if they were the deepest brown or the purest black. But they were warm and always looked at her with such adoration.
A tear broke free and fell down her cheek.
"I have to go."
He relaxed, having grown so familiar of hearing those words, and another brilliant white smile broke free, flashing his charismatic air.
"And there will be another time. There always is, my love."
She shook her head, more tears coming. Bringing a hand to her face, she wiped away the damp trails and tucked a strand of her flaming locks behind her ear.
"Not this time. We have to end this; we have to stop. You don't understand."
He was becoming defensive; she could see it in his stance. Defensive of himself maybe, or perhaps of what they shared. His dark brows pulled together as he listened, trying to make sense of her ramblings.
"There are rumors, and…"
She wanted to mention the pregnancy; he deserved to know. But she didn't want to burden him with the knowledge, knowing it could turn dangerous, especially if her plans failed. And if they failed… she couldn't allow herself to think of the alternative. Not again, not now.
"Love, there is always talk. No one knows about us; I haven't lessened my spells on you."
"Even your spells can't fix this."
Her gaze fell to what seemed to be the ground beneath them, but only she knew she eyed her stomach and the babe inside: a child of the Day Court, son of Helion… bastard born heir to the throne. She knew the latter was all anyone would refer to him as if his true lineage were to become known. And in turn, Helion would be mocked for his carelessness and shamed because of his betrayal of a fellow High Lord. He would lose respect and his court could fall.
"Fix what?" he challenged, pulling her gaze once again, "Your sham of a marriage to that red-faced brute in Autumn? Your filthy husband is so set on wreaking havoc across this land, love, that he has very little time to focus on your whereabouts. Remember? I don't need a spell to distract him. Come back to bed."
He stretched out a hand, smooth and warm she knew. Last night it had been all over her. It had been over her breasts, sending shivers down her spine. It had been between her legs, making her moan his name. It had caressed her neck as they shared kiss after kiss as if neither needed air to breathe. And possibly her favorite yet, it had held her afterwards while she fell asleep. But she took her eyes from it and looked up to his steady gaze.
She needed to be strong. If she took his hand, all resolve would fade away. She'd melt into him and tell him everything. And that would put them both in danger. But walking away now meant she'd never come back. This would never happen again. They would never happen again.
She knew what she needed to do.
Refusing his outstretched hand caused her physical pain, piercing her very soul. But she had to, for her sake, for his, and for the child… their child.
"Goodbye Helion. Like each and every day, we too must come to an end."
He tried to protest, but she didn't let him interrupt. She wished she could have had more time to think of the proper words to say, to think of all she truly wanted to say to him. She didn't want to forget anything. She wanted to give him her thanks and tell him of what blossomed in her heart each time they were together, but there wasn't time for fond sentiments. The wind was dying down now. Any longer and he would learn her secret, their secret.
"You know this cycle better than anyone. The sun has set on our time, but I have to believe it will rise again one day. I can't believe the Cauldron would give us something this special for nothing, but for now I need to say goodbye.
His brows pulled together in anguish as he truly heard her words, understood them like she knew he would. He drew a shaky breath before posing himself to be the picture of grace and strength, undeniable beauty and light, the image he knew she needed. Holding back any emotion, he nodded, just once.
"Goodbye Helion Spell-Cleaver, High Lord of the Day Court, the most honorable man I've ever had the pleasure of meeting."
His brows twitched as if they were struggling to remain calmed, like emotions were running wild and barely contained behind them.
"Goodbye, my love. I will hold you in my heart of hearts until the light in me fades away. Do not forget that. But if you ever change your mind…"
A strong gust of wind blew, blowing her hair back and away from her face. She took advantage of the moment, risking her cover, and stepped into the breeze bringing her lips to his cheek in a gentle kiss for the last time. His hands slid over her hips as she pulled away, and then she vanished into the woods before the air settled, leaving Helion alone and broken.