03:04 am.

I laid in bed as I listened to the bedroom door creaked open, his heavy footsteps sounding through the quiet space. He played out his usual routine: remove the rings, remove the kutte, and finally reach the shower to wash away the sins of the day. It was a routine that I had gotten used to. After his shower, free from the smell of the other women and the blood of the man he killed that day, he would climb into bed as if nothing had happened. Even though his body was physically in bed, his mind was elsewhere, racing a mile a minute. In the past, I would wake up and try to ease his thoughts, doing my wifely duty, but that stopped once I realized his mistress was soothing him before he arrived home. I did everything I could do as an old lady. I was taught by what I thought was the best in the trade. Gemma Teller and Luanne Delaney would feed me tips and tricks on how to make and keep Jax happy. I guess you could say I was a naïve child, thinking that their advice would work, only to find out that they weren't the perfect old ladies they claimed to be.

"You're thinking too hard."

I looked out into the darkness, feeling Jax's body fidget against my back. His bare chest pressed against me, his arms wrapping around my waist. "What're you doing up so late?"

His soft lips placed kisses across my shoulder while his hand made its way under my flannel night shirt. "I couldn't sleep." I lied.

His lips continued to mark their way up my neck, nipping and biting along with way. "I can help with that." He whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. "You know it always works."

He was right. In the past, every time that I couldn't sleep, sex with Jax was enough to finally push me over that threshold between being awake and falling asleep. However, tonight was an exception. "Stop." I muttered, trying to nudge him away. "Jax's, please."

He continued to kiss my neck, his hand pulling at the waistband of my underwear. "Jackson, I said stop." I pushed a little harder.

"Relax, babe." He muttered, his body pushing into mine.

"Fucking stop!" I yelled, roughly pushing him away. "You don't fucking listen."

He looked at me in disbelief, "What's your problem, Chesney?"

I stayed silent as I removed myself from the bed, pulling my nightshirt down. I made my way into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, dark circles encased my hazel eyes. I had been up since 06:00 yesterday morning, making sure the kids were ready for school and collecting my things for work. I didn't know where Jax slept last night, either at the clubhouse or the whorehouse. He must've gotten what he wanted since he decided to grace us with his presence tonight. I was working my ass off to not only protect my children but to also make sure they lived a happy, normal life. Having Jackson Teller as your husband and father of your children didn't grant you a normal life. While other wives stayed at home and felt safe and comfortable, I was having to bring myself and my children to a rundown clubhouse or a brothel for "lockdowns." I had to have a club member at my side at all times to make sure nothing happens to me. I couldn't even take my kids to the park without someone watching over us. Yeah, it's nice and all to be protected, but I was getting sick and tired of needing to be protected.

My husband's temper and his fly-off-the-handle approach to running his club lately had been the reason for the tension between us. There were many times when I prepared myself to either get a call to let me know that he had either been arrested or killed. I mentally prepared and even thought about what I would tell our children if that were to happen. No wife should have to think about those kinds of things.

"Chesney, open the door." Jax's voice sounded.

I wiped my tired eyes, letting out a sigh as I took another glance at myself in the mirror. Long gone was the image of the happy, bubbly girl I once was. She was now replaced with an imposter, trying her best to remain happy in front of her two kids and the entire world. Per Gemma Teller, you can't let people know how low you've gotten. If you're an old lady, especially the president's old lady, you must be strong and perfect at all times.

I slowly made my way to the door, unlocking the lock, before turning off the light. The door quickly opened, revealing my husband. "What the fuck is going on with you?" His hands wrapped around my upper arms, giving my body a shake. I looked up at him, staying silent. I didn't have anything to say to him. I was tired and I had to get up in 3 hours to Delia ready for school.

"Why are you acting like this." He questioned, leaning down to look directly in my eyes.

I stared into his beautiful blue eyes, trying to search them for the man I had married all those years ago. "I'm tired, Jax."

He stayed silent, his grip on my arms loosening. "Let's just go to bed, okay." I spoke, giving him a small smile.

He didn't say anything. He removed his hands from my body, allowing me to walk past him and over to the bed. I quickly placed myself under the covers, choosing to sleep on my left side, facing the wall. I could feel the tears start welling up in my eyes but I didn't want him to know that I was crying. I listened as he followed suit, choosing to lay on his back, placing a large space between us.

"I love you, Chesney." He whispered into the night.

The tears that I had been holding fell loose as silence overtook us once more.

"Mommy, can you braid my hair?"

I looked into the bathroom mirror, seeing Delia standing behind me, holding up two hair ties. I couldn't help but laugh as I took in her appearance. She had just woken up and her blonde hair was a tangled mess against her head.

"Why is your hair so messy, little girl?" I laughed as I walked towards her, picking her up in the process. "I know for certain I combed your hair last night before you went to bed."

I sat her on the vanity counter, trying to see where the knots formed. "Delia Delaney Teller-" I exclaimed as I found the source. "How did bubble gum get in your hair?"

She stayed silent as most children do when they know they're in trouble.

"How did you even get bubble gum to begin with?" I asked as I tried to pick the gum out. At this point, it looked like we were a car ride away from the beautician. There was no way I was gonna be able to get all the gum out without cutting her hair.

"What's going on?" Jax asked, walking into the bathroom. He was still dressed in the sweatpants he had worn to bed this morning, his torso bare. "Good morning, sweetheart." He smiled at Delia.

"She has gum all in her hair, that's what's going on." I bit back angrily. "God only knows how she got gum but it's all in her hair now."

Jax rolled his eyes, "Calm down, Ches." He muttered giving Delia's leg a light squeeze.

"I'm sorry, mommy." Delia started to cry.

I looked down at my 5-year-old daughter, guilt running through me for yelling at her. I was always the bad guy, the only one who disciplined her when needed.

"It's okay, baby." I sighed. "We're gonna have to get that out of your hair somehow, okay?" She nodded her little head, wiping away the tears with her sleeve. "Why don't you go in the kitchen and I'll be right there to fix breakfast."

I removed her from the counter, watching as she made her way out of Jax and I's room and to the kitchen. I threw the comb down into my makeup bag and walked into the bedroom. Jax was sitting on the side of the bed, his phone resting in his hand. "You done yelling at our daughter?"

I looked at him, "Really, Jackson?"

He looked up at me, a pissed off expression etched into his face. "Really, Chesney." He removed himself from the bed, towering over me. "She's a fucking kid who made a mistake."

"Yeah and I'm the bad guy who has to yell at her while you piddle around and do nothing as usual." He glared down at me, anger filling his eyes. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to make our children breakfast."

I marched myself out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, accidently slamming the pan down onto the stove in anger. I glanced over to see Delia coloring while Wyatt looked around the room in wonder. I don't know if it was my anger or just plain emotions but tears stung in my eyes. I was doing everything I knew to do for my kids but I felt like it was never enough. My anger towards Jax was coming out even more in front of Delia and Wyatt and I never wanted that to happen. They shouldn't be seeing their parents fight about god knows what. They should see their parents in a happy, loving relationship. Delia and Wyatt deserved that.

"Bye daddy." Delia's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

I looked up to see Jax giving Wyatt a kiss on the head, dressed in his typical flannel shirt with his worn kutte sitting on top. His slicked hair glistened in the sunlight that shown through the kitchen.

I didn't say anything as he walked away and out the front door. What was I supposed to do, chase him out the door and beg for affection? I wasn't that girl anymore. I was done begging for my husband's attention.

"Mommy?" Delia asked.

I looked up from the pan, "Yeah, baby?"

"Why doesn't daddy kiss you goodbye anymore?"

The question took me by surprise. Delia knew something was wrong between Jax and I. She knew that we were acting differently towards each other. "What're you talking about, baby?"

She continued to color, "You and daddy always kiss when he leaves for work but now you don't. Why?"

I stood there, racking my brain for the right answer to tell my 5-year-old. "Daddy and I kissed goodbye this morning before you got up." I lied.

She looked up at me, "Do you love Daddy?"

I felt like I received a blow to the stomach. Never in a million years would I have thought that my daughter would be asking me this question. Never would I have hoped that she would have a reason to ask me that question.

I made my way over to her, kneeling beside her chair. "I love your daddy more than words, sweetheart."