Disclaimer:- This is fanfiction and I do not make any money from this. I write this without the permission of JKR. Everything you find in this story is completely fictional and bears no resemblance to anyone, living or dead.
Prologue
Each chapter begins with a few lines from the original books, highlighted in bold. Then there is the point of divergence; one of the characters in the problematic scene (mostly Harry himself) point the problem out. They then proceed to emphasize their point with examples or logical arguments. Now remember, not all chapters will fit into that specific format. Sometimes the character will choose to act later, for reasons that will be made obvious in the chapter itself. Sometimes the chapter will contain two or three of these 'problematic scenes' separated by a horizontal line.
Haven't we all thought at some point in reading Harry Potter that wizards are really stupid sometimes? That their common sense seems to be notably absent when it is needed the most? Well, this story takes each of those scenes from the Philosopher's Stone and proceeds to dissect them for the entertainment of us all.
Note: They are all independent of each other. Things that happen in one chapter do not affect the others. They are separate little AU's that have no relation to each other!
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Chapter One: In Which Neville is Mistreated
"What about you, Neville?" said Ron.
"Well, my gran brought me up and she's a witch," said Neville, "but the family thought I was all-Muggle for ages. My Great Uncle Algie kept trying to catch me off my guard and force some magic out of me — he pushed me off the end of Blackpool pier once, I nearly drowned — but nothing happened until I was eight. Great Uncle Algie came round for dinner, and he was hanging me out of an upstairs window by the ankles when my Great Auntie Enid offered him a meringue and he accidentally let go. But I bounced — all the way down the garden and into the road. They were all really pleased, Gran was crying, she was so happy."
Harry stared at him in shock. He looked around to see what the others had to say, but they acted as if this was considered normal behaviour for Wizarding families. Some even laughed.
"This is not funny! What if you had died Neville? What if instead of nearly drowning you had completely drowned? What if you hadn't bounced? What if you had hit your head after falling twenty feet? What if a car had run you over ON THE BLOODY ROAD? WOULD YOU HAVE STILL BEEN LAUGHING?"
At this point everyone in the Great Hall had stopped talking to listen to the Boy-Who-Lived. The ones who had laughed were looking ashamed of themselves. Neville, who had never known better, was the only one who still defended their actions. Blood was thicker than water, after all.
"But they thought I was a Squib, Harry. A Squib!" he protested.
"So you would rather be dead than a Squib, would you?" said Harry dangerously.
"Er —"
But Harry was just getting warmed up.
"So your family would not love you if you couldn't perform magic? Would they not feed you, clothe you, love you as their own if you weren't their kind? I do not know what has corrupted everyone's sense of morality, but if someone is really a Squib, then no amount of forcing magic out will cause them to become a wizard or witch. Being separated from the Muggle world for a few centuries has made everyone forget that people can live a normal life without magic. There are more than five billion people who live without magic on this planet and they do not, I repeat, do not drop their kids out of windows just because they do not possess the same genetic traits as their parents."
AN: Nope, you can't drop kids out of windows. No excuses!