"We mature with the damage, not with the years." Unknow

Small Heath.

Or hell personified.

With its cobbled streets and a gray cloud continually hovering over its inhabitants, the small town of Birmingham was the perfect example of purgatory. There was absolutely nothing but the despair and cries of the working classes. The only source of light was the factory fire pits. They brought heat and scorch to its inhabitants.

The men were gruff, poorly educated, dangerous and above all badly treated by the crown. Most of Small Heath's men were former men once acclaimed for their exploits in war. If taking the life of another being from god could even be called an achievement. As for the women, they were lucky if they didn't end up on the sidewalk to live. The majority of them found themselves out of work after the men returned. They had had to learn to survive. They had adapted to the harshness of men marked by war. They didn't even care about their dignity anymore. They were now casualties of war as well.

It was a sight that Adele Fitzpatrick had not missed. She put her suitcases down on the gravel floor just as gray as the scattered cloud hovering over the city of her childhood. She had spent three years on the battlefield in France before being transferred to a doctor's apprentice position in the heart of London. Her superiors had judged that she had seen enough atrocities. It was grotesque and sexist bullshit she said. She had much preferred the screams and the horrors of war. At least she was used to it. Besides, the repeated attacks had always allowed her to avoid thinking too long about all the dark ideas that now haunted her mind forever. Like those gruff and dangerous men, she had been marked by war. She had become a whole different person. Someone she barely recognized in the mirror. A shadow of the young girl full of innocence and purity that she once had been. Now she was an aged soul beyond words.

Having said that, if she was to be honest with herself then she would admit that she had been marked long before the war. On the famous day she learned of the death of the only person who had been there in her whole life. The only other person who has ever shared her dream of leaving Small Heath. The one that had been the very reason for her enlistment in the infantry section of the British army. Her best friend. Greta.

Consumption, they had said.

Watching her decline to her slow death had been the longest and most devastating months for Adele. They had been such that she had preferred to take the quickest way out, leaving her poor mother and barely twelve-year-old brother alone.

She had blamed herself. But she realized at that precise moment that she had made this choice for her. And she had assumed the consequences. She had survived the war but had lost what little humanity she had left in the battlefield.

So, she forced herself to take a deep breath before grabbing the handles of her suitcases to lift them off the ground. She spared one last glance at the locomotive sealing her fate in this purgatory before making her way through the smelly, coal-pissing streets of Small Heath.

The more she went, the more she recognized the places that sheltered the memories of her childhood. The cut, where she and Greta had almost drowned after a game of wild hide and seek, the old bakery where she could still smell the sweet smell of loaf of bread. Her stomach growled at the mere smell of one of her best childhood memories. She almost let a smile curl her lips at the thought. Almost.

However, she continued on her way without even sparing a single glance at the familiar window. Instead, she continued to walk between the workers and prostitutes occupying the sidewalks. She avoided meeting their eyes just as her mother had taught her. Instead, she continued to scan the surroundings. She could already hear and see the locals looking back at her. A familiar face yet so distant from the pure maiden she once was.

She wondered what her mother would think of her when she finally saw her after years of absence. She could already imagine the tears on her probably wrinkled face now. That didn't prevent the fact that she must still be as strong and beautiful as she remembered. Her mother had been her model. Mother of two children, she had done everything to make up for the fact that their father had preferred the gypsy life and its wild women rather than his own family. She had accumulated a whole bunch of jobs to support them. Even if she had to deprive herself, she always made sure to provide a decent life for her children. She had once been a lady of high society after all. It was a shame that she had given up her title for a good-for-nothing cheating and cowardly husband. Nevertheless, she had ended up raising her children with dignity. It was this strength of character and her love that had allowed Adele to hold out despite the trials thrown in her path. Hence the reason why she had finally decided to return to face the demons of her past. That and the fact that she couldn't really ignore her little brother's pleadings anymore.

He kept begging her to go into each of her letters. He had tried everything. Insults, guilt, blackmail, bargaining and even threats. Eventually it had been the worrying state of health of their mother which had finally forced her to return.

Soon enough, Adele reached the famous brown door embedded in the brick wall of Main Street. As she stood in front of the closed door, she couldn't ignore the slight tremors running down her fingers.

Was she really ready to return to Small Heath?

After one last look around the familiar street, she let a small sigh pass her lips before making her way into her childhood home. Seamus had told her that their mother worked at the local seamstress in the afternoon. That was the exact reason she had taken a train in the morning.

Adele felt a deep surge of melancholy assault her from the moment she walked through the small hallway leading to the modest kitchen. She put her suitcases down at her feet, took off her leather gloves finger by finger and scanned the room in silence. She swallowed as she could feel her throat tighten at the familiar scent of burning entering her nostrils. It was exactly as she remembered it.

She moved past the rickety little table in the middle to inspect the old gas stove with a still hot teapot. Obviously, her mother had planned her return.

She used the tea towel resting on the oven handle to take the handle of the teapot before setting it on the table. Then she walked over to the old cupboard with a missing door and picked up a chipped porcelain cup. It was the only survivor of a tea set. Adele still remembered the ones she and her brother had broken during their childish moments.

She went back to the table to put the cup on it before picking up the teapot to help herself. She watched the still steaming amber liquid flow into the cup before closing her eyes for a moment in an attempt to get used to the stillness of her home again. It was a calm she hadn't felt for a long time.

However, her demons soon caught up with her as the silence again gave way to her memories. The sound of the bombs and the screams of agony of the men on their deathbed echoed in her ears again as if she was once again on the ground.

Crack!

Adele jumped as she opened her eyes wide just to freeze for a moment at the sight of the now shattered mug lying on the floor. The tea flowed along the planks soiled by the years and Adele again felt the need to scream. The sight of the liquid slowly pouring down the floor reminded her again of the blood she must have wiped from her body after each procedure. Reacting with nerves, she hastily grabbed the rag before tossing it sharply over the liquid. She watched as the tea soaked the tea towel before rushing to wring it out in the dilapidated sink.

Unfortunately that was before she felt the tremors resurface. She abruptly dropped the tea towel into the sink with force before standing on the ends in an attempt to regain control. She closed her eyes sharply, clenching her jaw as a flood of images, each more gruesome than the last, surged behind her closed lids. It was like watching a movie in the cinema. The images were too fast for her. She began to whisper a prayer under her breath, hoping to calm her tormented mind.

Soon enough, she felt the tears stream down her cheeks. She abruptly opened her eyes as she realized what was happening to her.

Another panic attack.

She hurriedly opened the sink valves before wet her face in hopes of cooling herself off. She felt like she was burning at the stake. She splashed her face several times before turning her head to the side, suppressing an angry curse.

Her rapid breath finally subsided as she straightened up, trying to ignore the silence she hated so much.

She picked up the mug that had broken into several pieces from the floor before deciding to postpone settling in her childhood home until later. She just dropped her bags in front of her old bedroom without even bothering to open the door before making her way back through the noisy streets of Small Heath. She much preferred them to the haunting silence. Therefore, the noise and the harshness of the street did not trigger her panic attacks. On the contrary, the blazes of the factories and the gruff, husky voices of the men occupying the sidewalk reminded her of her time in the trenches.

She squeezed the edges of her coat close to her small, curved shape before pulling the fur collar of her London coat closer. Her living wage as a head nurse in one of the best hospitals in the country had allowed her to maintain a decent standard of living compared to most of the lower classes. That, and the fact that she hadn't really used her money for anything else. She had spent most of her time within the hospital walls, going through shift after shift and postponing going out with some of her wild-spirited colleagues until later. She hadn't really felt the need to socialize. Even less after her last unfortunate experience. She was self-sufficient. This way, she didn't have to worry about others. She was broken enough already.

So she had been able to afford a few small frivolous pleasures before leaving London. Her nice coat was proof of that. She had kept the rest of her savings to make life a little more comfortable for her family. Now that she had seen the meager furniture in their kitchen, she knew she had made the right choice. Her mother might put up some resistance, but Adele was almost certain that she would do as she pleased in the end. She was no longer the same little girl her mother had let go to war.

She continued to wander through the streets of Small Heath as if she had never really left them. She continued until she finally stumbled upon the little dressmaker's shop in town. She stopped in front of the window, briefly admired the fashion designs of her day before finally focusing on the two employees currently behind the models.

A small smile took shape on her usually bleak face as she recognized her mother's familiar face. Her once emotionless chest warmed for a moment as she took in the features slightly wrinkled by her mother's years before hurrying towards the door. She couldn't quite control the urge to hug her now. Not after the last few years.

The sound of a bell rings as she makes her way into the store. The two elderly women immediately raised their heads to hear of a new client. However, Lucinda Fitzpatrick froze at the sight of the familiar face still so different from her only daughter. She gasped in emotion before setting the piece of tissue she previously held between her fingers back. A heavy silence reigned in the room as she slowly made her way to her daughter.

The latter could feel her heart pounding a little more against her chest with each of her mother's steps. It was as if the world had suddenly stopped. She watched the emotion assault her mother's eyes before releasing a sigh of relief as she felt her arms close around her."Oh thank god! Thank you ! Thank you…"

Adele immediately returned her hug as she felt her mother tremble against her. Her prayers did not go unnoticed by Adele's ears as she buried her nose in her mother's neck to sniff her soothing scent. It was the same smell that used to reassure her whenever she was sick as a child. The same smell that had haunted her dreams at night. And the same scent she had tried to remember every time she had found herself surrounded by lint bodies.

It wasn't long before the mother-daughter reunion was suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice."Move, Luce. I too want to hug this child."

Soon enough, Adele was again hugged by a small woman with an iron fist. She still remembered the sermons she had received from this same woman. Harriett Radcliff was a phenomenon. A force of nature that should not be crossed by anyone. Now that Adele thought about it, all of the women in Small Heath were real fighters. Their austere environment left them little choice. It was eaten or to be eaten. Harriett, Lucinda and Adele had chosen the first option.

"Let me watch you."Harriett asked as she pulled back before taking her chin between her index finger and thumb to examine her with a critical pout."Meh, your cheeks are hollow. What about that scar on the bridge of your nose? Not at all attractive. How do you expect to find a fine lad with that face?"

Adele immediately gave the short, graying short-haired woman a flat look before pulling her chin out of her grip."I don't need a man."

"Obviously. Four years spent alone and look at this insolence." Scoffed Harriett as she gave Lucinda a look over her shoulder."Did you see what happened to your daughter? A real pig-headed."

Lucinda was currently observing her daughter and while she could be able to see the physical changes in her that wasn't what struck her. No, it was the blank stare in her once so bright eyes. She barely recognized her. She was smiling and yet she could easily see through her mask. She was anything but happy, she was in pain, in silence.

Nevertheless she said nothing. Most of the men who had the good fortune or rather the bad luck to come back from the war all had that same haunted look. Lucinda never thought she would ever see that look in her own daughter. In the past four years, there was not a day that she hadn't regretted not having retained Adele. The battlefield was not a woman's place. But her daughter had insisted, even begged her. She had told her that she would waste away in a place like Small Heath eventually. So Lucinda had given her blessing. Adele had left the same evening to catch the plane to France. Seamus had been inconsolable after that.

Taking Harriett's place to silently observe her daughter, Lucinda raised a warm, soft hand to caress her little girl's delicate face. Adele immediately leaned down in her touch. It was the first intimate contact she had had in several years.

Lucinda let a small smile curl her lips as she reunited for a moment with the little girl she had cherished and raised. She had become a beautiful woman. Her long, ebony brown curls had been pulled together in a skimpy bun at the back of her head, and her large, hazel brown eyes had an almost mystical color. Her pale porcelain skin only emphasized her purity. She also had a square jaw and full pink lips. She was strong and striking at the same time. Lucinda knew Harriett was wrong. No, her daughter would definitely have no problem getting the attention of the filthy men of this god damned city.

It was lucky that she had no desire to get married. Even though it was not a respectable lady's own path, Lucinda secretly hoped that her daughter would not follow the same path in her life. She deserved to be free and independent. That was one of the reasons she let him leave town.

Finally after a time of interminable silence, the two Fitzpatricks women broke the spell they were plunged into. Almost immediately Adele let a slight crease between her eyebrows as she realized that Harriett had left the room."Where's Harriet?"

"I'm here!"Hailed the bitter old woman as she returned to the front of the store with a sublime creation in her hands. She stopped by the two women with an expression that was anything but representative of her gift."Here. Take this. I had prepared it while waiting for your return. God knows you will need it."

"Me ? Why ?"Adele questioned as she took the offered dress anyway with a slight surprised smile at the luxurious fabric under her fingers. She could never admit that she was like these materialistic women. Sometimes she also liked beautiful things. But she preferred not to hear about her weaknesses. She had had enough."Don't tell me you've already arranged a wedding for me?"

Lucinda let out a small sigh of relief at hearing her daughter's joke. She could still make jokes. Then she shook her head, rolling her eyes."I hope not. If anyone ever had to arrange your wedding, it would be me."

"Well, have you?" Adele asked immediately, somewhat afraid of the answer. She knew this wasn't her mother's kind, but her little escapade and her rebellious behavior over the past few years could very well have forced her to resort to those kinds of old ways. If only to make sure she stayed in Small Heath for good.

Unfortunately Lucinda didn't have a chance to respond as another coughing fit took over her body. Hearing the distinct spitting of her mother, Adele instantly frowned before hastening to take her forearms for support. Her wheezes echoed between them as Adele led her mother to the nearest chair. She then turned to Harriett with a tone and posture that exuded authority."A glass of water. Now. "

"On my way."The old woman immediately nodded.

Adele felt a hand grab one of hers and turned to her mother in a mixed feeling between worry and questioning. Lucinda quickly resumed her usual coughing fit before shaking her head, catching her breath."You don't have… * wheezing *… I'm… * wheezing *… fine."

Harriett returned to the room with a glass in her hand. Adele quickly took it before handing it to her mother. At the sight of her objecting gaze, she insisted. Lucinda sighed, shaking her head but took the glass nonetheless.

Adele watched her drink for a long time in silence before switching back to doctor mode. It was stronger than her. This cough was alarming. She had heard it many times in London. Especially in patients with tuberculosis."Since when do you cough like this?"

"Not very long. It's just smoke. You don't have to worry." Denied immediately Lucinda with the wave of her hand."Your old mother is stronger than that."

"It's been almost a year now." Harriett answered honestly.

Adele narrowed her eyes at her mother and ignored the look of betrayal her mother cast on the old woman. Instead she crossed her arms over her chest, clenching her jaw seriously."Did you have a fever? Night sweats? Have you been coughing up blood lately? Fatigue or even loss of appetite?"

"Don't take that tone with me, cheeky little girl." Lucinda immediately warns, pointing her finger at her before straightening up to prove her claim."I'm fine. Your little brother should never have-"

Adele immediately turned to Harriett before interrupting her mother in determination."Harriet, is she suffering from these symptoms?"

"Harriett." Lucinda immediately warns.

The two older women immediately exchanged a sustained look. They stood in a fight of silent stares for a moment before Harriett let out a weak sigh of defeat. She turned to Adele, nodding her head. That was enough confirmation.

"Did you go to see a doctor?"

"Thanks, Harriett." Lucinda muttered in frustration before quickly turning to her daughter to put a reassuring hand on her bicep."I went to see Dr. Gilligan. He said my condition was going to get better, ey? I'm fine."

Adele pursed her lips in suspicion as she examined her mother's reassuring face for a moment. She had dealt with much more resilient men during her time in the war. She knew when her patients were lying and that was exactly what her mother did with her.

"I would look at the medications he prescribed for you when you got home."Adele sighed, persistent before resuming seriously."Speaking of Seamus, where is he? I thought he would be the first to greet me on the station platform after receiving his last letter. He barely seemed to hold still."

Suddenly, a heavy silence hung between the three women as Lucinda swallowed in anticipation of her daughter's reaction. She glanced in Harriett's direction. The latter seemed to fear Adele's reaction just as much. They knew full well that not everyone would be happy to hear the news. After all, what kind of self-respecting sister would be happy to hear that her little brother, barely sixteen, had joined the Peaky Blinders? Aye, no one.

However, the notorious Birmingham thug gang was an even more sensitive subject for Adele Fitzpatrick. If some called them, Adele hated them deep in her heart. In particular the famous leader of the Shelby clan. He was probably the one being on earth that Adele hated the most. She blamed him for her best friend's death and she also felt guilty for it too.

"Ma ? What's happening ?" She asked, alerted to the tense exchange between Harriett and her mother."Where's Seamus?"

Lucinda let out a shaky breath, still out of breath before trying to condense the news for her daughter."Adele, listen… you have to understand that things weren't so easy without you. Seamus and I had to make choices. Your little brother is probably the bravest little boy I know and-"

"Ma, what's going on?" Adele insisted more forcefully this time. She had a bad feeling.

Harriett shook her head with a weak sigh. Lucinda was simply delaying the inevitable. She lifted her head before drawing attention to herself as she answered gravely."He's at the Garrison."

Almost immediately Adele felt her heart stop in her chest for an instant. She widened her eyes, blinked for a moment before looking between the two women in disbelief. Her gaze begging them to tell her that she had misheard it, that it didn't mean what she was thinking.

However her mother's apprehensive face was enough of an answer for her.

Adele soon felt the shock give way to anger and disappointment. She clenched her fists at her side, clenched her jaw before focusing her cold, icy gaze on her mother. Lucinda shivered at the intensity of her daughter's gaze. She had never seen such coldness in a woman. She almost felt like she saw a ghost in front of her.

"Did you let him become one of them?" Adele snapped between clenched teeth, her tone bitter.

"You were gone. What was he supposed to do?"Defended Harriett in an attempt to come to the aid of her friend and longtime employee in the face of the vengeful soul before them."Adele, try to understand-"

"Understand ? Understand ! Have you lost your damn mind? "She barked in exasperation before raising a hand to stop her mother from approaching. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she took a deep breath before raising her head to stare at the two women coldly."There's nothing to understand."

She didn't wait for their response as she spun around on her heels before leaving the dress she was holding on the nearest table. She picked up the pace, her lace-up boots slamming against the wood floor before slamming the door open.

"Wait, where are you going?" Lucinda abruptly called in panic as she tried to stop her daughter.

Adele didn't even turn around as she replied in a determined tone."I'm going to bring my little brother home."

Okay, guys,

I'm again in lockdown for one month. Lockdown requires, I restarted the show Peaky blinders from scratch and I must say that I am once obsessed with Thomas Fucking Shelby. So there we go. I hope this new fanfic will pleased you. Don't forget to add and review this story.

Crystal Reed as Adele Fitzpatrick

Louis Partridge as Seamus Fitzpatrick

Olivia Crain as Lucinda Fitzpatrick

Jeremy Irons as Eliot Frazier

Nathaniel Buzolic as Nathaniel Carleton

Carey Mulligan as Edith