Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.
"I'm the coolest in the whole galaxy!"
"No way! I'm way cooler than you!"
Two dark-minded individuals were facing up to one another. They were glaring intensely, for they were having a debate over which one of them was cooler than the other. It was hard to say, for these pair had a lot of hardcore fans who thought they were awesome.
It was none other than Boba Fett and Darth Maul.
"I'm the coolest!" The Bounty Hunter insisted as he pointed towards his own head. "Because I look far more menacing in this helmet!"
"Who needs a helmet?!" The Sith Lord pulled down his black hood to reveal his grotesque, spiky head. "My face looks far more menacing than that upside down bucket you wear on your head."
Underneath his helmet, Fett clenched his teeth irritably.
"Well, check this out!" He whipped out his blaster and pointed it to his rival. "All I have to do with pull this out and my adversaries feel threatened!"
"That's nothing! Check this out!"
Maul took out the long handle of his lightsaber. He ignited it in front of Fett, causing the two red crystal blades to extend out of each end.
"Have you ever seen any other Sith Lord with a double-bladed lightsaber. Not many Jedi come prepared to face such an upgraded weapon!"
"That doesn't matter! You could apply a thousand blades and you would never reach the far range a blaster can!" Fett spin his weapon around his trigger finger. "You can only make a strike with a lightsaber on someone standing right in front of you - as you of all people should know all too well!"
The smug look on Maul's face faded. He could easily tell which event in his career on the Dark Side that Fett was referring to.
"You say you're cooler than me?" Fett sneered under his helmet. "I'm not the one who got sliced in half by a Jedi-in-Training! You're not worthy to carry the title of Darth!"
"Yeah, well - I'm not the one who had his jet pack tampered with by accident and sent falling into the jaws of the Sarlacc!" Maul countered. "Some Bounty Hunter you are!"
The two rivals glared at one another. Both were angry to have their respective embarrassing defeats which tarnished their cool reputations brought up.
"I came back, didn't I?" Fett hissed. "My fans didn't see that coming when they learned I wasn't dead - but they celebrated my return!"
"My fans did the same when I came back," Maul replied. "They were glad to see me return too!"
The rivals continued to glare at each other. Both were still convinced they were cooler than the other - when a voice spoke nearby to attract their attention.
"Hey, guys! I'm afraid it's me who's the coolest in the Galaxy!"
Averting their gazes from each other, Fett and Maul noticed Kylo Ren making his way over to them. He stood proudly near the two, dressed in his usual dark clothing and swinging his lightsaber.
"I've got the pair of you beat! I have a spectacularly dark helmet and a crossguard lightsaber!" The deep voice of Ren which came from under his hood was full of arrogance as he spun his T-bladed weapon around. "I'm sure I have more fans than both of you combined! I bet you two wish you were half as beloved by me."
Boba Fett and Darth Maul exchanged knowing gazes. They were both fully aware that Kylo Ren was nowhere near as loved as he believed he was. Both were feeling the urge to take the vain Supreme Leader of the First Order down a peg or two.
"Shall we?" Fett asked.
"Yes." Maul nodded. "Let's!"
With that, the pair started to beat up Kyle Ren. The knocked him off his feet and sent him crashing to the ground, where they proceeded to kick and punch him. Both the Bounty Hunter and Sith Lord were enjoying the screams of pain they were bringing out of Ren. They were sure their fans would love them even more for this.
No one noticed a certain Force Ghost appearing from nearby, watching with dismay how Ren was handling being beaten up.
"Oh, Ben Solo..." Darth Vader groaned as he put a hand to his masked face with a disgusted shake of his head. "I'm ashamed to call you my grandson..."
The end.