A Hobbit's Songbook
By: Gammer Boggins
Co-Authored by Briallin & Mirarose Boggins, along with their cousins Lobilia, Floralily, Furno & Palson
Disclaimer: I do not own LOTRO, however I do own the original works you will find in this fic.
What Shall We Do With Pesky Tweens?
(Sung to the tune of "What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor?")
What shall we do with pesky tweens?
What shall we do with pesky tweens?
Oh, what shall we do with pesky tweens?
The terrors of the Shire!
Shall we make them run to Bree and back?
Shall we make them do chores for Lobelia?
Shall we sign them up to join the Bounders?
Or send them to the Lock-holes?
What shall we do with pesky tweens?
What shall we do with pesky tweens?
Oh, what shall we do with pesky tweens?
The terrors of the Shire!
Shall we slap them with a cold fish?
Shall we pelt them with rotten apples?
Shall we push them into the Water?
They're driving us insane!
What shall we do with pesky tweens?
What shall we do with pesky tweens?
Oh, what shall we do with pesky tweens?
The terrors of the Shire!
Shall we make them go to bed without supper?
Shall we take away their desserts?
Shall we make them clean up after festivals?
Or just tie them to Gandalf's fizzers?
What shall we do with pesky tweens?
What shall we do with pesky tweens?
Oh, what shall we do with pesky tweens?
The terrors of the Shire!
Shall we send them to Matzo for a scolding?
Shall we have Almi babysit them?
Shall we have them host the next Farmer's Faire
And feed Old Flourdumpling?
What shall we do with pesky tweens?
What shall we do with pesky tweens?
Oh, what shall we do with pesky tweens?
The terrors of the Shire!
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Do keep in mind, however, that any Flamers will be fed to Durin's Bane, and any remains that may be left over will be fed to The Watcher.
I seriously doubt Death By Balrog is anyone's preferred end.
Happy Reading!