"Come on boys, we need to get ready or we will be late for school" shouted Caroline. She walked into the kitchen, met by William who had spilled the last of his juice down the front of his shirt and Lawrence who had managed to get more jam on his face and hands than in his mouth. "Living the dream," she mumbled to herself and took some solace that other parents with young kids were likely experiencing similar challenges. John was still sleeping since he 'needed' to write late at night because that was when he felt 'inspired.' Most mornings, it was up to her to get the boys up, fed, dressed and off to school.
They were just about to leave when she noticed a jam coating on her favorite black heels but thankful for small mercies, her clothing appeared to have been spared. She shook her head, let out a sigh and quickly grabbed a different pair. Moments later, they were out the door and on their way.
The school year was almost over and that evening, there was a small dinner to celebrate the teachers who were retiring at the end of the term, including James Howard, the Deputy Head. Caroline had been invited since she is set to replace him at the start of the fall term.
When the Board of Governors read her CV, they wanted her for the Deputy role but did not want to risk losing her if they needed to wait. Knowing the Head Master, Dr. David Parker would likely retire in the next few years, they worked on a succession plan where she would teach for a year, transition to the Deputy Head role and if all went well, she would become the Head once Dr. Parker retired. While liked, both men often ran the school as if it was 1902 and not 2002 and Board expectations were that Caroline would breathe new life into the struggling school.
"Good morning Caroline, ready for the party tonight?" Helen Watkins asked.
"Can't wait! You've been so kind to me, I'm going to miss you."
"I'm retiring Caroline, not dying. Once you are a bit settled in your fancy new role, we will have to schedule time this fall to catch up!"
"Already looking forward to it," said Caroline as she gently squeezed Helen's arm before the women parted ways, each going to their classroom.
Each year, Helen made it her mission to welcome the new teachers and guide those she deemed worthy. She sensed something special in Caroline. Brilliant mind, innovative teacher, kind, loyal, fun and revered by the students but there was a confidence that waivered at times and that worried her so she made it her goal to mentor Caroline.
Some members of staff were like circling sharks; they would strike the moment they sensed blood in the water. They would lie to themselves; how could a woman, many years their junior be promoted over them? This is a few noisy parents trying to push their agenda; it had nothing to do with her ability, education or accomplishments. Helen had experienced their jealousy and pettiness over the years; she knew the difficulties of working full time while raising a family and all of the double standards that applied.
On her way to the staff room for lunch, Caroline's heel unceremoniously broke causing her to stumble but she managed to stick the landing. Happily, there were no witnesses so she hobbled back to her classroom to grab her car keys. She only lived five minutes from school. It wasn't her dream home but it fit their needs for now and a convenient commute. John's book was on the brink of becoming a best-seller and with her career taking off, they planned to look for a bigger house soon.
She pulled into the driveway and immediately noticed a strange car. 'John's agent' she thought to herself. Tired of struggling with her broken heel, she slipped off her shoes and uncharacteristically walked barefoot from the car to the front door. She was about to yell out to John when she heard faint voices. She looked in the family room and did not see him. As she walked up to the bedroom, the voices became louder. She stood outside for a few moments but could not make out exactly what was being said; just that it was John and a voice which was distinctly female. She threw open the door and almost immediately, John jumped out of bed.
"Caroline, this isn't what it looks like."
In an exaggerated tone, she simply said "right," and turned to the woman and calmly said, "I need to speak with my husband and grab a new pair of shoes, my heel broke. I suggest you quickly get yourself dressed and out of the house before I finish with him." With that, the woman collected her clothing and bolted from the bedroom.
She turned to John and in the same disturbingly calm and composed voice said, "John, don't forget I have my work dinner tonight. You will need to pick the boys up from school, cook them dinner and get them to bed but I did promise they could stay up an extra half hour tonight if they were being good for you."
While motioning with her hand, "About this, you will remove the sheets, throw them out, burn them, turn them into a shrine to mark your conquest, I don't care; I don't want to see them ever again. You will wash the mattress pad and the duvet and remake the bed. You will sleep on the sofa and we will talk about this when I get home tonight."
With his head down, looking like a child that had been scolded, "but…but…Caroline, it meant nothing, I love you."
She turned and began to walk away but stopped. Without turning back around, she said, "it means something to me" and with that, she walked out with the new heels in her hand.
Back at school, Caroline really didn't know how she should feel but was aware that once the shock wore off she might not be able to hold it together. She desperately wanted to talk to Helen but didn't feel it was fair to spoil her night so she would hold it in for tonight and call her over the weekend.
"Caroline, are you ok" asked Helen as they were being seated at the restaurant.
"I'm…I'm fine, just not feeling well and it has been a long day," said Caroline.
"Just checking, this is a big night for you too. You'll tell me if anyone says anything…even when you are the big boss lady in a few years," smiled Helen. "I'll come back and put them in their place."
Both women chuckled and Caroline squeezed her hand, and said, "Thank you." She could feel the tears beginning to well up and excused herself to use the loo.
Miraculously, she managed to get through the night and actually enjoyed herself but not quite as much as Helen who may have had a few too many glasses of wine. One by one, everyone had said goodnight and the two women were waiting for Helen's husband to pick her up. Moments after they walked outside, the car drove up. Her cheerful tone shifted, with a sympathetic voice, she turned to Caroline, gave her a hug and said, "Whatever it is, it'll be alright, call me when you are ready to talk."
She watched them pull away and knew she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. She rushed back into the restaurant and into the restroom to compose herself. As she exited the stall, another woman walked in. Noticing Caroline was in distress, she asked, "Are you ok? Can I help you with something? Do you need me to call someone for you?"
"I'm ok," said Caroline, fully doubting her own words.
"Are you? You don't look ok. Do you need someone to talk to?"
"No, no…I'll…I'll be fine…I don't want to disrupt your evening," whimpered Caroline.
"Lucky for you, I just said goodnight to my boyfriend and decided to pop back in to use the loo before going home so no plans will be disrupted," she said with a smile. "I'm Kate."
"I'm Caroline," said with hand extended.
Kate shook her hand. "How about we get a drink or chocolate cake and you can unload all of your problems on a stranger who you never need to speak to again after tonight," Kate said playfully.
Caroline nodded in agreement. There is something about those big brown puppy dog eyes; stare into them too long and even the toughest spy would begin revealing state secrets. She didn't stand a chance. As the two sat back down again, it all came spilling out. She shared what happened with John earlier as Kate sat quietly listening; only asking a question every now and again. When she seemed to need it most, Kate instinctively reached over to comfort her.
While they only chatted for an hour, Caroline felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The relief was temporary, she didn't have all the answers and there will be many tough days to come but maybe things would be ok in time.
Kate pulled out her phone, wrote 'Caroline' in her contacts and handed it off. "If you are ok with it, why don't you give me your number and I can check in on you in a few days." As Caroline handed the phone back, Kate immediately sent a text. "Now you have mine as well, in case you want to talk, even if it's 3AM."
As they left the restaurant, Kate asked if Caroline would be ok to drive. She smiled, "Yes. I can't thank you enough." With tears welling up again, "You don't know me and you gave your time, listened and…and…" With that, Kate gave her a quick hug and said, "I mean it, even 3AM."
On her drive home, Kate thought for a while and she wasn't really sure why she had helped Caroline. She never wanted to see anyone hurt or upset but didn't usually talk to strangers in the restroom or tell them it was ok to call at 3AM. There was something about Caroline but she couldn't quite figure it out. Was it her vulnerability, the sadness in her eyes, a shyness, insecurity…? Did she want to 'fix' Caroline to fulfill a need in herself? Maybe it had little to do with her. After their date, Richard had to leave to go back to work at 9:30 on a Friday night so perhaps she was feeling sorry for herself and since misery loves company, it would somehow make her feel better. The more she thought about this, the less convinced she was by any of it and finally gave up and took pleasure in the simple fact that she did something nice for someone who needed it.
Caroline arrived home a short while later and found John in the family room. "How were the boys tonight?"
"Great, they asked for you, they wanted some family time with us."
She stared coldly at him.
"Oh Caroline, really, she didn't mean anything, I love you."
She walked away
Fifteen minutes later, she reappeared. "Did you do what I asked, all of it?"
"Yes, yes, yes, of course."
"Where did you do the laundry John?"
"Here, of course," said defensively.
With anger building, "stop lying to me John," she walked away.
"Caroline, Caroline" he yelled, "I'm not lying!"
She walked back toward him. "John, we both know you are lying and that's the least of it. You were fornicating with that woman in OUR bed so you are still an adulterer and a cheating basta…." She stopped. "I think I'll take the boys to the park tomorrow morning and then out to lunch and then perhaps some ice cream. That should give you time to get yourself sorted. I expect you will be gone by time we get home!"
Feeling overwhelmed with it all again, she picked up her phone to make a call. "Kate, I'm so sorry to call, I know it is late, I'm sorry, it's just John…oh…I'm sorry…"
"Caroline, its fine, I wouldn't have offered if I didn't mean it," she said with a calm voice. "Please, I'm listening, tell me what happened."
"He lied about laundry," said Caroline emphatically.
"What? I don't follow."
"After I caught him, I told him wash the mattress pad and duvet and remake the bed with fresh sheets. I didn't think he'd really do it but when I asked, he said 'yes, yes, yes, of course' and he lied. There was only a tiny amount of detergent left in the bottle with the spare tucked away on a nearby shelf. If he had done laundry, he would have finished the open bottle and opened the spare but both remain untouched. On top of everything, I know this is minor but…"
"Caroline, you have every right to feel whatever emotions you are feeling right now and more lies piled on, only adds to the hurt. There is nothing trivial about it. If you want to meet up tomorrow, we can go for coffee or lunch?"
"I wish I could but I told John I would take the boys out for the day so he can get himself packed up and moved out…unless…well…do you want to come to the park with us?"
"Sure, text me where and when and I'll meet you there. You should probably go to sleep now, you had a long, difficult day and you need your rest, plus I imagine the boys will be up early."
"Yes they will…goodnight Kate and thank you."
"Goodnight…see you tomorrow"