Yo.
You know what they say, third time's the charm. I can only hope it is, for the sake of my sanity. Well, I suppose editing this again and again can only be a good thing. Improvement and all that, I suppose.
1/3/2022
For The Second Time, Someone Understands Him
Everything began on that fateful Friday in my second year of middle school, I got rejected. A nice, pretty girl talked to me in school and sometimes even texted me. So I, foolish and naive, misinterpreted her kind actions as "she must be interested in me!" and confessed my boundless affection. Only to be met with nervous laughter and later a "we can still be friends?".
Falling into a spiral of depression, ashamed of myself for getting the wrong idea. It wasn't logical, I had done the same thing many times before, but this time, it hurt a lot more. Maybe because I actually liked this person instead of previously where I was just delusional in thinking that I had a chance. I could already imagine what would happen when I would go to school the next day, but I suppose it wouldn't make much of a difference considering my already terrible reputation. So I swore to myself that I would never repeat my mistakes and aim for an elite school so I would never see these normies again. So, I laid down on my bed with newfound resolve, and dreamt of a new start.
*Ping*
I got a text? Who would even text me? Orimoto Kaori. - Hey Hikigaya, wanna hang out tomorrow? Not a date of course, but I did tell you we could still be friends. :)
And so, my life as a loner cynic with a single (surprisingly supportive) friend, began.
•8•
"The Corner'' is the single most comfortable place in any establishment. Preferably beside a window so you can stare at nothing contemplating the meaning of life with chill lofi beats to study to playing softly in your Apple Ipods. The optimal spot for any loner to wallow in their self-pity alone, in other words, where I am right now. Sitting on my favorite beanbag in the corner of the public library, a can of MAX coffee in one hand, the 5th volume of Mushoku Tensei in the other. It should be a perfect Saturday afternoon for me, Hikigaya Hachiman. Except, it's not perfect, because I'm not alone. There seems to be an unintended variable that is disrupting the perfect Saturday afternoon atmosphere that I've longed for all week, a certain Orimoto Kaori that was sitting across from me on the carpeted floor reading… is that Re:Zero? In other words, she is interrupting my time reading about a child with panties on his head waving a staff around, by humming some normie pop song and embedding the cursed melody deep into my brain which is probably going to give me a lethal case of LSS later.
"Kaori, I can't concentrate on this heart wrenching father-son reunion with you humming so loudly that the floor is vibrating."
She looks at me with a raised eyebrow and says "It's your own fault for making me come to a library for what was supposed to be a 'fun hangout' on my precious weekend."
"You're the one who said 'somewhere not so populated so that we won't be recognized' and I bet someone would be caught dead before finding you in a library." I replied.
"Ugh, I hate that you're right." Kaori whined. "Bleh, I'm hungry. Can we get some food? Or are you too invested in your perverted light novel to eat some lunch?"
I take offense to that woman! The library is a perfectly viable place for a Saturday hangout, and Mushoku Tensei is not perverted, there are just ecchi aspects to emphasize that the main character's flaws show that he's scum in every way, but is still a good person at heart! It's called good character writing, not everyone can be a perfect Kirito clone that doesn't have flaws! I swear-
"Please stop your inner monologue, I'm hungry" Kaori interrupted my profound mental contemplation.
"Ok fine. I know a good ramen place only a few minutes walk from here." I say as I put the book back into the shelf.
"Of course It's ramen. Hachiman, do you eat anything other than ramen? I worry for your health."
"I eat other things as well! I'll have you know, I went to Saize with Komachi the other day for dinner."
She just sighs in surrender as we leave the library. Why are you sighing? Saize is an affordable restaurant with quality Italian food! Do you have something against Italians? You seem to be the kind of person to snap noodles.
"Don't you ever go to cafes or grills? Have you ever eaten a burger?"
"Those are too expensive. And yes, I have eaten a burger. I just don't really like western food."
"But you like Saize?"
"Italy is in Europe."
"Europe is still west."
"Anything is still west if you go around the world enough."
"You know that's not what I meant."
"Well, if you really think about it, the people who coined the term 'western' were the Spaniards who, when splitting up the world with Portugal, decided that 'the west' is everything to the west of Spain, and 'the east' was everything to the east of Spain. So technically, Italy is under Portugal's claim to the world, and that is east. So…"
"Why do I feel like you're bullshitting me."
Oh no, she's catching on.
"I would never." I said, sweat dripping down my brow.
"You're a terrible liar." She replied before she started giggling. "Isn't Portugal to the west of Spain? Why would Portugal claim the east?"
Wait, really?
"Who knows…?"
Her giggles turned into full blown laughs as she clutched her stomach,
It really isn't that funny. Please stop laughing, you're attracting attention.
"Orimoto? Is that you?" a new voice calls from behind us.
Not even a nanosecond later Kaori puts on her mask, and I erase my presence so much that Kuroko would start quaking in his basketball shoes. I whisper a subtle "see you" and continue to walk away as she turns to face our schoolmates with a disgustingly fake grin on her face.
That smile, that mask I successfully ripped off her face at our third "hang-out". PerhapsI shouldn't be proud of that moment, but for some sadistic reason I took a lot of pleasure in her expression as her mask crumbled and shattered. So now, she takes off her mask whenever we're alone. And while I appreciate the gesture, it still irritates me that she even puts it on in the first place. Like, didn't my words resonate deep within your soul causing a paradigm shift and changing your life forever? I ponder these things as I make my way home. Komachi was probably waiting for her Onii-chan so who am I to make her suffer in solitude?
It is quite strange how I managed to befriend Orimoto Kaori after being oh so brutally rejected by her, getting bullied for it, and ultimately changing my entire personality basically overnight. I was never one to enjoy change, but in this situation, change was definitely something that I appreciated. I changed myself, and subsequently, changed the same Orimoto Kaori who I thought would never change. At least in my eyes. To everyone else, she's still the same mood-setting bubbly girl who greets everyone good morning at the start of the day. Who has an endless list of numbers listed on her cellphone, and is perpetually happy.
I've had the privilege to know that only two of those things are true.
*Ping!*
Orimoto Kaori - You owe me some ramen next time!
I snorted and replied,
Hikigaya Hachiman - And I'M the one who's addicted to ramen?
•8•
"The Table Beside The Window", similarly to "The Corner" is another piece of prime real estate for any dedicated loner. Usually located in the far end of any establishment, less people sit near there. Due to the fact that it's far away from the door where the air-conditioned air escapes from, it's easily the coldest place in the cafe excluding the fridge. On a Saturday afternoon like today, with the sun setting in the west, and the window facing east, the light isn't glaring in my eyes. Instead a few gentle rays of light shine against my book as I sip on overpriced coffee.
"Ne, Hachiman, do you think you passed the Sobu exam?" Kaori asks from across the glass table, holding a mug of black coffee in her hand.
"Mhm." I reply, taking a sip from my cappuccino. "Probably."
"I can't believe I missed the exam date." She sighs. "I suppose it's fine though, I don't think I would've passed anyway. Plus, the Kaihin exams are still available until next week."
"Wow, very cool."
I see her pout in the corner of my eye. What do you want me to say? I'll bet 500 yen that she probably wants me to say something like: 'Oh wow such a shame I will really really miss you since you won't be attending the same school as me'?
"Why are you pouting?" I ask, taking another sip.
"You didn't go like 'aww that sucks, I wanted to go to the same school as you Kaori!' Only a boring old-" She frowns with her mouth open, letting all the muscles on her face go limp. "Okay."
Close enough, give me my 500 yen.
"Who are you trying to imitate? Besides, we never talk in school anyways, what difference would it make?" I retort, twirling my teaspoon in the air.
"I guess you're right, though we can still see each other on Saturdays right?" She asks with a hint of hopefulness in her voice.
Oi, Stop that, I might get the wrong idea. Haven't you learned your lesson?
"Probably. It's not like I'll be joining any clubs or making friends." I turn to the side, averting my eyes.
"I thought you were going for a new start? Are you that dedicated to being the Prince of Loners?" She says sarcastically while shaking her head.
"If there is an opportunity to make actual friends with common interests, I'll take it. But there's no way I'm going to join a clique or actively try to get to know people." I scowl. "Unless they happen to like Oreimo.
"I guess it was a mistake to expect anything else." She mutters. "Also, what's Oreimo?"
Oi, what's that supposed to mean? You didn't say that with any negative connotations right?. You obviously mean that you don't expect me to stray from my ideals right? And I'm not telling you about Oreimo.
"... What about you? Are you going to pretend to be nice to everyone?" I ask.
"..."
"..."
"Okay, I don't pretend to be nice to everyone. I am nice to everyone, even if it's just for show."
"At least you admit that it's superficial. I've been rubbing off on you huh?"
"Your cynicism is contagious, what can I say? The Hachi-virus is a real problem in our current society."
"At least I don't spread any Kaori-cooties. Your laugh should be quarantined and isolated."
"I'm going to take that as a compliment." She giggles.
I can't help but release an amused 'tch'. What did I tell you? Her laugh may cause a global pandemic.
*Ping!*
Komachi - Onii-chan! If you're done with your date can you buy groceries for the week? But if you're not, it's okay. Your super nice imouto can do it also! _ eee that got me a lot of points!
I let out a small laugh as I replied.
Hachiman - I'm on my way home, don't worry about it. Your super reliable Onii-chan has got it covered! Now that got me a lot of points!
I cough into my palm and say "I'm going home now, Komachi wants me to buy groceries. See you next week."
Kaori beams and says "Okay, have fun! Say hello to Komachi for me, I want to see my cute imouto soon! Aah! That got me a lot of points!"
I sigh disappointedly at her and say "You almost got it. Nice try. I'm sure Komachi would be absolutely thrilled to know you said hello."
"And she's not your imouto!" I leave one last comment before turning away.
I wave my hand behind me as I walk away. The late afternoon breeze blowing against my face as I make my way to the grocery store. I realize that the points economy is growing at a scarily quick pace, especially now that Kaori is starting to earn points. At this rate, Hachiman points might become equivalent to an Iranian Rial. I need to step up my game!
I ponder these things as I walk on the hot, hard pavement. I suppose things like Komachi, groceries, and the comfort of my home will always be constants in my ever-changing life. That, I can be sure of.
I sighed.
I hope highschool won't be a shitfest like how I expect it to be.
•8•
Graduation day. The day where all the middle school kids think 'omg I'm going to go to highschool I'm so excited omg omg' and freak out over moving from child slavery, to teen slavery. Of course I don't mean actual slavery, because school is still 'for our own benefit' if you really think about it. But slavery in a sense where we are forced to work long hours and are punished when we don't abide by the stupidly strict rules. So when graduation day rolls around, most kids my age would be celebrating or having parties, but not me. I, Hikigaya Hachiman, have decided to hole up in my room and play Assassins Creed on Vita-chan under my blanket, absorbing power from the darkness. 'Why?' you might be asking. It's because graduation day was scheduled on a Saturday and there was no fucking way I would go to school on a weekend.
So here I sit, cursing my government for not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement. Also cursing them for making school mandatory, and for existing. I wasn't an anarchist but alas, a man can pretend sometimes right?
*tak-tak-tak*
Eh? Komachi is already back?
I got out of my bed and dragged my feet all the way to the door, rubbing my eyes as my pupils shrank adjusting to the light. I yawned and opened the door. "Why didn't you just use your key?"
"Because I don't have one, Hachiman."
I opened my eyes to see Kaori standing on my porch, hands on her hips with an annoyed expression.
"Oi, why aren't you at the graduation ceremony?" I question her.
"They finished giving out the awards and since you weren't there, I came to give you your certificate." She replied.
"Do I really need a certificate?" I ask. "It's just a piece of paper that no one will probably ever see."
"You're supposed to smile and hold it proudly as proof that you survived middle school." She pouted. "Although, I guess you're right about the 'no one will probably ever see' part."
"I'll probably use mine as scratch paper at some point."
"Hey! That's disrespectful to the school and their staff."
"...so?"
"Hey! That… one teacher was… nice…"
I stared at her.
She just sighed in defeat. "Well then, want to go get some food?"
I thought for a minute, contemplating my choices. Go with her and eat something, or refuse and get stabbed with a switchblade in the abdomen.
Hmm...
"Sure. Let me just change and put this useless sheet of paper in the shredder." I said, before walking away towards my room.
"Be sure to bring money!" she shouted after me. I could practically hear the smirk in her voice.
"I'm only paying for my own!" I shouted back.
After I changed into my school uniform, since I had nothing else that looked decent to wear, I locked the door. The sound of the lock clicking into place and the cool surface of the doorknob was strangely satisfying. Perhaps it was the sense of independence of locking my own home, or perhaps I was just slightly insane. Either option was very plausible.
I turned to Kaori and asked, "So, where do you want to eat?"
She put a finger on her chin and looked up. "Wherever you want is fine I guess."
"So Saize then."
She looked at me with a disbelieving expression. "Saize?"
"Yes and?" I returned her look confidently. I never lose staring contests thanks to my eyes. My opponent always gets too uncomfortable staring into the abyss so they either blink or look away.
She looked me in the eyes with a curious expression, as if studying every detail of my irises.
"Pfft okay then!" She exclaimed and started skipping down the sidewalk.
Oi, you're going too fast. Do you expect me to chase after you? I'm not going to chase after you.
…
I sighed tiredly before starting to jog after her at a moderate pace.
It was an odd scene, a girl skipping down the road with a broad smile as she radiated an aura of pure excitement, being followed by a gloomy looking boy who stared at his feet as he jogged after her. If I saw something like that, I would probably let out a chuckle or two at the sight. I was like a shadow, perpetually following the bright light from behind as it went ahead and lit up the way.
I soon caught up to her panting form, bent over with her hands on her knees. Her wavy brown hair was all over the place, sticking to the sweat on her face. How does someone get that tired from skipping? Did she not do any sports or anything? I was obviously perfectly fine since I biked to school everyday. Stamina was probably my strongest physical aspect.
"How are you not even tired?" She said in between breaths, "I saw you jogging after me."
"I bike to school everyday." I said, "Are you not in a sports club?"
"I'm in the volleyball club, but I don't take it seriously." She replied.
Kageyama is shaking with rage right now.
"Volleyball huh?" I pondered as I started to walk ahead of her. Looking over my shoulder, I ask, "Why don't you take it seriously? I feel like you could be really good at it."
"Ehh? I'm not even that tall though?" She made a sour face.
"162cm is taller than most girls our age." I point out, "Plus you're still growing…"
"I'll think about it." She said, "What about you? Are you going to do any sports?"
Oi, don't think I didn't notice that blatant subject change.
I thought for a moment, looking at the sky. "Either tennis or basketball. I don't really have an interest in anything else."
"Basketball suits you. You're tall, but you're really skinny. Like a street lamp." She teased.
"Says the literal bean sprout." Was my retort. "I'm scared that if I touch your arm it'll break."
"Mou~ I'll have you know, I have very muscular arms!" She pouted.
"I'm sure you do."
"How tall are you anyways?" she asked me, "I can never tell since you're always slouching."
"Last I checked I was 171cm." I replied.
"Uwehh… and you're still only 15…" She made a slightly scared looking face.
Oi, why does the idea of me being tall scare you? What are you trying to say?
We continued our playful banter for a while, finally stopping once we had arrived at our destination. We stopped in front of the store for a good 30 seconds, catching our (read: Kaori's) breath while staring at the big neon sign that said 'Saizeriya' on it before I opened the door for her.
"Ara? What a gentleman!" She said, surprised.
"Komachi would kill me if I didn't do this much at least. Also, did you just 'ara?'"
She smirked.
Ghk!
We walked inside, the bell-door-thing chiming behind us as we made our way to the counter, the cold air was a harsh contrast from heat outside. The ambiance was nice, it reminded me of my dining room, which was a good thing for a family restaurant to feel like. There was some pop music that I didn't know playing in the background that was drowned out by the incomprehensible chatter of the wide variety of people sitting in groups, in couples, or alone.
We sat down at a cubicle with cushioned seats, which was unfortunately facing west. It was around 3pm, so the sun was glaring harshly against us but it was the only seat left available, so we couldn't really complain. We picked up the menus and started scanning through them, searching for something that we might be craving.
The waitress came up to our table and asked for our order, recommending their limited time special edition spicy chicken pasta.
"I'll get that." I said, "The spicy chicken pasta."
"Okay!" The waitress said, smiling as she wrote it down on her little notepad.
"Hmm…" Kaori hummed as she looked over the menu again. "I'll have the carbonara please."
The waitress flinched at the light that was beaming from Kaori's smile.
"Noted!" She said, struggling to look at us (read: Kaori)."Your wait time will be around 10 minutes, is that ok?"
I just nodded and Kaori chirped out an enthusiastic "Yep!" once again blinding the waitress.
"You really don't like spicy food huh?" I ask Kaori.
"Yeah, I just can't handle the heat." She shook her head. "I don't exactly dislike the taste, but the hotness really affects me."
"Hmm, I see."
I often think about how a person acquires a like or dislike for certain tastes. What are the things that shape someone's taste? Does what the mother eats or drinks while pregnant with said person affect their preferences once they are grown? Is it what the person eats while they're still a child? Is it something completely random, like a wheel of fortune that decides whether or not you like spicy food or not. Honestly, I think it's a mix of many variables that interact and affect each other that shapes people's preferences. Namely, everything that I've just stated in addition to the food that their parents enjoy, or the opposite of what their parents enjoy. I remember everyone in my family hating spicy food, so I decided that I liked spicy food.
That was my rebellious phase. I'm over it now.
I turned my attention away from my thoughts and looked at the girl across the table. Her wavy brown hair looked almost blonde with how the light shone on it so harshly. Her eyebrows scrunched and tongue to the side of her mouth in concentration. She was typing something on her phone, probably texting one of her friends at break-neck speeds. It was picturesque in a way. I was tempted to draw the scene like I used to do in class as a pastime. Draw classmates, that is.
Okay, so maybe I know why I was called creepy. It was just practice okay!?
I brought out Goodnight Punpun from my bag and started reading. The silly little penguin thing wandering around the crudely drawn, harsh world around it was like placing an ice cube inside a fireplace. The twisted world that this innocent character was placed in said a lot about too many things, too many things that no one wanted to hear about.
We live in a society, after all.
I spaced out, staring at my manga as we sat in silence, minding our own business until our food arrived. When it did, I returned my book into my bag to face Kaori. We talked about trivial things, chewing and chattering simultaneously. My chicken pasta was way too spicy, but I endured for the sake of my pride. My fragile masculinity would never allow me to show weakness to a mere spicy chicken pasta. I must endure!
…
Bakugou probably made this or something.
Then, Kaori ranted about the newest trends and cute things she wanted and vented about annoying classmates or troublesome gossip, while I just listened and gave input whenever I felt like it, sometimes making a sarcastic joke. She knew that I didn't have any stories to tell, or experiences to share, so she dominated the conversation. I appreciated that, but maybe I should convert her into an otaku so that we could have some semblance of a common interest.
I think she'd like Horimiya…
•8•
"Welcome to my humble abode."
Kaori stood looking up at me from our doorway, she looked apprehensive for a minute before finally stepping inside and removing her shoes. "Ooh, it's very homey!"
"Why are you so nervous?" I ask, a little annoyed if I'm being honest. "You're here today to be converted into an otaku, and for no other reason."
"Can you blame me for being a little nervous? It's my first time in anyone else's house." She replied, "Sure I've been inside a few of my friends' houses for a sleepover back in elementary, but never in middle school."
"Eh? Really?"
She raised an eyebrow, "Yeah. I was invited a few times but I was never comfortable enough to enter someone else's home."
So my home is okay?
"Okay then." I say, putting that topic to rest. "Have you met my sister?"
"Oh!" She exclaimed, brightening up. "No, is she here?"
"KomachI!" I yelled. "Kaori's here!"
The sound of pounding footsteps and squealing was enough to let me know I was heard. I decided to walk away before Komachi arrived to save me the embarrassment, and to make some tea. Everyone loves tea.
"Hello~ I'm Komachi! It's nice to finally meet you Kaori-nee!"
The fuck?
"Eee~! It's nice to meet you Komachi-chan!"
They just skipped every single step in a relationship before sisters. Perfect.
"Did you hear that Hachiman? She called me Kaori-nee!"
"Eee~! Onii-chan! She called you Hachiman!"
Suddenly, Dazai has become very relatable.
*Technical Difficulties*
Once Komachi and Kaori had calmed down, the three of us sat down at the table to drink tea and talk. And by talk, I mean the two girls bonded over girl things like me, a mutual relationship with me, and everything about me that I never wanted anyone to hear. In other words, they talked about embarrassing things about me, while I tried my hardest to shrink out of existence.
It was proving quite difficult.
"-and after I ran away, it was onii-chan that came looking for me. Ever since then he makes sure to come home before me everyday!"
Okay, maybe the stories aren't that embarrassing.
"That's so adorable!" Kaori squealed. "Hachiman, I didn't know you could be so sweet!"
"I'm the sweetest to Komachi. Ooh, that got me a lot of points."
Kaori tilted her head, "Points?"
"Oh yeah, onii-chan and I have this thing where we get points every time we help each other or say something nice!"
She squealed again. "Oh yeah! Hachiman told me about those! I've been trying to earn points, but apparently I'm doing something wrong!"
"Don't worry Kaori-nee, I'll teach you everything you need to know!"
Kaori squealed.
This was starting to get annoying.
"And this one time when I was in elementary school, onii-chan came to pick me up, but my teacher wouldn't let me go with him because he 'looked suspicious'!" Komachi laughed at my expense. "So my mom had to call my teacher and can you guess what she told her?"
"What?" Kaori asked excitedly.
"'Yes, that is my son, the one with the scary eyes.' and he was still in middle school!" She said, "Imagine an eleven year old Hachiman staring at a full grown adult teacher while she talks on the phone with his mother to confirm that he's not a kidnapper! An eleven year old kidnapper!"
They both burst out laughing, clutching their stomachs with one hand as they supported each other from falling over.
"And then-"
"Anyways, that's not important right now." I sat up straight and slammed my forearms on the table very gently, making a very soft banging sound that surprised everyone. "Komachi, I brought Kaori here so we could watch every single Ghibli movie."
""Eh?""
Did I s-stutter?
"I told Kaori I would convert her into an otaku. The first step is to watch every single Ghibli film." I explained, "Then, next week, we'll binge A Place Further Than The Universe."
"Oh! So Kaori-nee doesn't watch any anime?"
"I've only watched Pokemon and One Piece on tv whenever it comes on…"
Komachi, completely understanding the situation now, drags Kaori by the arm to the couch while I turn on the tv, plugging in my 2TB harddrive full of recorded anime into our tv box.
"Get the rope Komachi, we're starting with Totoro."
"T-the ro-rope?" Kaori asks, trembling with fear.
"Twenty hours straight. No bathroom breaks~!" Komachi sings, tightening the knot five times.
Kaori gulped.
Mission Complete. Plus 1 Anime Otaku.
Nature should handle the rest, eventually she will branch out into manga, then get bored of that and start playing games. Yes, my master plan! Mwahahahaha!
For The Second Time, Someone Understands Him.
Aah, not the rope! Anyways, go watch A Place Further Than The Universe - actual masterpiece.
That's all. Peace.