Clint was going back to a place he'd hoped he would never see again, the place where he felt he lost the last piece of himself. The only place in the universe that he could look at and feel the most gut-wrenching fear and heartbreak.
Sure, Natasha's sacrifice saved everyone, and his family was back as if nothing ever happened...but she was still gone and he lived every day wishing it had been him that got down that cliff on Vormir the day that they got the soul stone. It was supposed to be easy, neither of them expecting to lose the other on this barren planet.
A soul for a soul...It was as simple and complicated as that. He hoped once he returned the stone that Natasha would be back, just like how everyone they knew and loved was snapped back into existence; but it didn't work. Her death was permanent and would forever be a reminder that it should have been him instead.
He stood on the stone ledge that looked over the nothingness of the planet, covered in nothing but fog.
"It's okay". Nat's voice echoed in his head, the memory of her sacrifice flooding into his mind. He could see her face just as clearly as he did that day in his head when he closed his eyes. The pleading at peace look she had just before kicking off the wall and falling from his grasp for the final time.
His heartfelt like it was being torn in two again, tears making their way down his face before he sniffled back a sob and wiped them away, looking up to the dark sky.
"God do I miss you..." he said out loud, not sure but hoping that somehow she could hear him. It was the only place that made sense for her to be able to.
"You piss me off you know? Making that choice on your own. Why did you have to go and do that Nat?" He kicked a stone off the ledge angrily, cursing the planet itself. "What if I needed you! We could have figured something out!" He yelled at the sky again, dropping to his knees. He knew that was a lie and it wouldn't have worked. He was being selfish, wanting his family and her at whatever cost, but he couldn't help it. He would have given the world to have all of them back with him.
It felt like forever that he stayed like that, focused on the foggy sky. "I loved you, you know that?!" He yelled finally. "It doesn't matter in what way, I fucking love you still, that's why this worked!" He wanted something, even his own voice to echo back at him, but it didn't and he dropped his head, wiping his eyes once more.
Just as he was about to stand up, a soft gust of air came from in front of him, brushing gently against his right cheek and it felt like it lingered longer than any wind that he had ever felt. He closed his eyes and swore that he could almost feel a cold hand on his cheek. It was enough to cause a chill throughout his entire body.
*It's okay...". The phrase once more repeated in his head as her face faded once again, a smile on his face as the cold feeling left his cheek finally. A small gasp leaving his mouth as if he had been holding his breath.
Clint opened his eyes. "It's not okay, Nat". He got to his feet and took a deep breath. "But thank you...for everything". He turned finally and walked back, feeling a little more at peace and that was all he could ask for.