The sun disappeared over the western horizon as they glided through the clouds. A chill had settled, but the bison's fur was warm - much warmer than a ship full of Firebenders had been, somehow. A light wind ruffled Zuko's hair and he thought, with a muted sort of happiness - I could get used to this.
But he shouldn't. Atonement shouldn't be easy. He had seen the suffering Uncle had gone through, after returning from Ba Sing Se. For Zuko, who had done so much wrong, redemption shouldn't be easy. He would not let it be easy.
The tension that constantly gripped him settled once more into his heart as Aang lit a small fire in his palms.
"This way we can fly whenever we want!" the Avatar - Aang, Agni he needed to get used to that - said chirpily.
"Won't Appa get tired?" Zuko asked, careful to keep his voice neutral. It wasn't that he didn't want to go back to the Western Air Temple, he was just in no hurry to see the Water Tribe siblings again. It wasn't that he blamed them for their distrust - they were being a lot nicer than Zuko deserved - but it was just ... easier with Aang.
Which it shouldn't be. It should be the hardest with Aang - Aang should hate him, after everything.
"Appa said he can fly," Aang responded, yawning slightly, "Though I might get tired."
"I can take over," Zuko said quietly, getting ready to put up a fight, "I won't - "
"Awesome! Thanks, Sifu Hotman - "
"Don't call me that," Zuko said automatically. He paused, then frowned as his mind caught up, "Wait - just like that?"
"Uh, yeah? I'm sleepy."
"But - I could hurt you! I was enemy just a couple days ago!"
Aang shot him a concerned look, "Are you gonna take me to the Fire Nation?"
"No!"
"Well then, what's the problem?"
Zuko blinked. Aang blinked back.
"You can't just believe me!"
"Why not?"
Zuko didn't know if it was frustration or confusion growing in him, but he remembered what the Firebending Masters had shown him, and drew in a deep breath.
"I hurt you," Zuko tried to explain.
"I know," Aang said, coming to sit gently beside him, "And I forgive you."
His fire was still lit, a soft heartbeat against the quiet world. Zuko could barely look the boy in the eyes, instead focusing on the flicker of orange. His throat tightened and he swallowed trying to get his mouth to move again.
"You can't -"
I don't deserve it. It shouldn't be this easy. You should hate me.
"Zuko," Aang said quietly, making Zuko's head snap up and their eyes meet, "I forgive you."
"I don't deserve it."
Aang sighed, like how Uncle used to when he wanted to saw something after Zuko expressed his desire to please Fath - Ozai. Distantly, Zuko realised how well Aang and Uncle would get along, over tea and Paisho and all the ways Zuko had failed them.
"When I was about six, I was super mad at Monk Gyatso. He was - he was my father, in a sense. I can't even remember why I was mad," Aang smiled softly, a faraway look in his eyes, "It must have been something so trivial.
"But I wanted to get back at him. I ended up breaking three murals," Aang looked vaguely guilty, but he was grinning now, "I felt absolutely terrible, you know. Those things were sacred to my people. I was ready to apologise when he said:
"I've already forgiven you, Aang," Aang made a funny voice, trying to mimic an old man, but Zuko could hear the thick emotion in his humour, "As long as you promise to break those uglier ones next time."
Zuko felt tears sting the corner of his eyes, as though he was the one remembering someone who history never deigned to remember. Aang chuckled wetly, wiping his eyes.
"I asked him how he could forgive me so easily," Aang explained, eyes shining and the fire in his palms brighter than Zuko had ever seen it, "And he told me 'forgiveness is something that is given.' Sometimes, people who don't deserve it are forgiven. And sometimes, people who do deserve it are not. It had nothing to do with how hard you atone.
"I forgive you Zuko, whether you like it or not, whether you think you deserve it or not."
Zuko felt something painful clench in his heart. "You should hate me."
Aang gave him a stern look, "I don't hate anybody. That's against Air Bending philosophy."
"... sandbender?"
"Exceptions."
Zuko scoffed slightly, knowing the kid was joking. For a moment, Zuko wondered how Ozai could ever fear such a little thing when Zuko had seen turtleducks more ferocious.
Then he remembered Toph's story about the Appa-incident, and the fact that Ozai tried to kill a thirteen-year-old.
"Go to sleep," Zuko said, "I'll take the reins."
"Thanks, you're a great friend!"
"Friend - "
Zuko was clearly the king of mess-ups, because Aang's face fell. But before Zuko could apologise, Aang grinned.
"Yeah, friend! I like you! Appa likes you too," Aang informed him sleepily.
"I'm honoured," Zuko murmured sarcastically.
Aang, clearly too innocent for the world, or perhaps to sleepy, murmured back, "Ha, honour."
Zuko bit back a laugh. As Aang's fire went out, Zuko lit his own to see better in the night. He remembered, quietly, how Uncle had slowly gotten him to light his fire after the Agni Kai. He remembered how awful he had been, how cruel and unyielding, and how Uncle had always forgiven him.
(Will Uncle forgive him now?)
Zuko shook his head and chose to concentrate on the now.
Forgiveness is something that is given.
Zuko wondered if one day, he could give it to himself.
The night dragged on, quiet except for the whoosh of air and the light breathing of Aang. The stars glimmered softly, and Zuko lost himself in the memory of the day that had just passed with the Sun Warriors.
His fire flickered orange. Then purple, green, blue.
He thought, with a muted sort of happiness - I could get used to this.
Behind him, his friend slept peacefully.
AN: this site is making it very difficult to post, for some reason. You can read this fic on A03 under the same name (Pay it Forward). Also, my need to put everything into neat folders has taken a hit since this website also doesn't have the whole series thing (this was meant to be part of Tales of the Gaang).
Anyway, Is Zuko allowed to be sarcastic or is his entire humour arsenal dry humour?
Answer: only occasionally is he allowed to be sarcastic, because he usally can't seem to grasp it. Sokka has made it his entire mission to get Zuko to expand his humour range to puns.
Speaking of: next up is Sokka being a bro!