Fandom: Avengers

Character(s): Iron Man/Tony S. | Harley K. | Spider-Man/Peter P. | Pepper P.

Pairing(s): Tony/Pepper

Warning(s): AU, references to Tony's playboy days, spoilers through Spider-Man: Homecoming, borderline-plotless fluff

It takes quite a lot to fluster Pepper Potts - anyone who has ever gone toe to toe with the PA-turned-CEO will tell you that. Years of working with one Anthony Edward Stark has forced her to build up quite a thick skin and honed her wit and diplomacy skills to a diamond-hard edge. Yes, Pepper's tolerance for BS, nonsense, and general idiocy is unparalleled...which is why, when her arrival home was punctuated with a slammed door, a thrown briefcase, and a rather vulgar string of curses, Tony immediately pulled himself out of his stack of blueprints to find out what was wrong.

"Pep?" Tony poked his head out of the kitchen and tentatively took a step towards where his lovely, incomparable fiancée was muttering irritably and kicking off her heels.

(The last time she looked so murderous, Aldrich Killian got hit over the head with a steel pipe.)

"Pepper? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Tony." The CEO gritted, dropping into the couch with a sigh.

A wise man would have left it at that; would have nodded and made sympathetic noises and offered his one true love a back-rub and a cup of something hot and strong.

Nobody has ever accused Tony Stark of being wise.

"Wow. Something big must have gone down. No...no, don't tell me. Thompson somehow managed to get his head even further up his backside than it was already? Ah! The D.C. campus got egged again. No? Let's see... I didn't forget to sign something, did I?"

"Tony." Pepper's eyes were shut and one hand came up to pinch the bridge of her nose, drawing her eyebrows together in a pained expression. "I love you, I really do. But I've had a really, really long day and what I would really like right now is a stiff martini and some quiet."

"Uh-huh. Quiet. I can do quiet."

"Tony."

"Right. Sorry."

Tony retreated to the bar and busied himself with vodka, gin, and a jar of Manzanilla olives.

"I had a meeting with the Board today." Pepper said after a long moment, eyes still closed, leaning back with a sigh and sinking into the cushions of the chair she had ungracefully flopped down on.

"Mmmm." Tony silently offered Pepper the drink he had just made and waited until she had drained about half of it before he said. "So, who are you firing this time?"

Pepper gave him a dry look. "You don't fire people from your Board of Directors, Tony." She picked one of the olives out of her glass and (rather savagely) bit it in half. "Unfortunately."

Settling down on the couch, Tony slowly sipped his own martini and watched as Pepper wriggled further down into the cushions and glared daggers at the ceiling. Now, people might accuse Tony Stark of being insensitive (and, fair enough, he had more than his share of foot-in-mouth moments), but he wasn't totally oblivious.

"Sooo." He drawled, poking Pepper cautiously with his left foot. "What happened? It must have been something pretty serious to drive CEO Potts to drink."

"Hypocrite."

There was no real malice in Pepper's voice, so Tony was thoroughly un-apologetic as he prodded her again. "C'mon, Potts. Spill the beans."

Pepper gave him another look, then huffed out an aggravated. "They're unreasonable, Tony. Completely and utterly unreasonable!"

"Who?"

"Your Board of Directors."

"Ah." (The ongoing jousting match between CEO Potts and the Stark Industries Board was legendary. Tony had money riding on Pepper.) "What've they done now?"

Pepper made an exasperated sound. "They want to know when we're going to produce an heir."

Tony stared. And blinked. And stared some more. Then he cleared his throat rather awkwardly and blinked again. "What?!"

Snorting, Pepper drained her martini. "That was my reaction exactly." She stood to her feet, and wiggled the empty glass at Tony's face. "Want a refill?"

He silently passed her his drink. "Um, yeah. That'd...that'd be great."

Fortified with another cocktail (or two or three), Pepper relayed to Tony everything that had gone down in the Board meeting earlier that afternoon. After she finished, there was a long beat of silence. Then -

"So what you're saying," Tony's voice was flat. "Is that the Board has somehow decided that I'm liable to drop dead in the next six months?"

Pepper's lips thinned. "Not in so many words, but essentially."

"And they're worried that I'm going to do this without naming an heir?"

"Yes."

Tony snorted. "What do they think this is - the British Monarchy?!"

"Well, in a way it is." Pepper sighed and rubbed the crease between her eyebrows. "When your father set up the company, he made sure that control of the shares would always fall to a member of his family. The clauses are quite hereditary, which is why..."

"...which is why Obadiah needed to give all that malarkey about 'being like a father, brother, and uncle' to me back when he tried to seize control."

"Exactly. It wasn't just for PR...there were legal issues involved as well."

"But that still doesn't understand why the Board is bringing this issue up now. They didn't say a peep when I signed the CEO position over to you."

Pepper shrugged. "That's because I wasn't inheriting your company, Tony...and, if you'll recall, no one knew that you were actively dying whenever you did that."

Tony winced. "All right - fair enough. But I'm not actively dying right now, so they can just back off." He saw Pepper grimace, and frowned. "What?"

She looked hesitant for a just moment before she said quietly. "Does the word 'Siberia' mean anything to you?"

Oh.

Ohhh yes, Siberia certainly meant a lot. It meant fear, disbelief, betrayal...and a fair amount of shame as well. Shame for thinking the worst of his father. Shame for falling right into that creep Zemo's trap. And, in the dark hours of the night whenever not even tinkering or booze could stop the mind from working, Tony had to admit that he did feel a certain amount of shame for attacking Sergeant Barnes as well. No matter how...strong the provocation. Because he, Iron Man, the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist who prided himself on leaving the Merchant of Death label behind had tried to murder someone. (He still couldn't decide whether or not he regretted Steve stepping in.)

Pepper took in the expression on Tony's face and nodded grimly. "Yes. That. We thought we'd lost you, Tony."

Shivering at the memory of frost creeping up his suit (cold, freezing, seductively numbing) Tony scowled and shoved the thoughts away before he could get sucked in. "Okay, fine. You've made your point. Still don't see why it's any of their business, though."

"Legalities."

"Bull."

"Yes...but no less true."

"Is nothing sacred?"

An exasperated glance from Pepper. "Did you or did you not propose to me on national television to cover up the fact that Peter Parker had turned you down?"

"Well, yes, but that doesn't mean..." Tony trailed off into a rather vacant expression for a moment or two before he snapped his fingers and turned to Pepper with a sudden determination. "Don't worry about a thing, Pep." He said, taking her gently by the shoulders. "If they want an heir, I'll give them an heir."

Pepper's eyes narrowed at the same time as her eyebrows shot up. "Tony," She said, eyes flashing slightly as they looked over his face. "I don't know what you're planning, but I want to make something clear right now: I am not having a baby just to get the Board off your back."

"No, no." Tony laughed and shook his head, a mischievous gleam taking hold in his eyes that made Pepper deeply suspicious. "I've got one all ready-made."

Pepper gaped, then crossed her arms and leveled him with a horrified glare. "DUM-E is not a child!"

"I'm not talking about DUM-E."

"What, then?"

"Oh, you'll see...you'll see."

Now Pepper was openly suspicious. "Tony, I don't know about this - "

He only grinned at her. "Don't worry, Pep. I have a plan...just have to work out the finer details." Giving his fiancée's hand a pat, Tony Stark hopped to his feet and started walking towards his lab, then - pausing - clapped his hands and spun back around. "Tell me, dear - how do you feel about taking a little weekend trip to Tennessee?"

TBC...