"You, you know how I feel about you, don't you?" Angela's eyes gazed at Tony with uncertainty.
"Well, ya, ya, sure, you know, you know, how, how you feel, ya, you know," Tony stumbled to find the words, "Well ya, sure! How do you feel?" He inquired, uncertain as to what she was asking.
"Well, I like you!" She replied, holding her breathe as the words escaped her lips.
"That's good Angela," a touched sentiment tugging at his heart, "Because I like you too." Every inch of his body trembling with uncertainty yet calm saying the words that meant so much to him.
"Oh good," Angela finally released her breathe and smiled, "Well, I just figured I hadn't told in a while."
"Oh, okay, good!" Tony shyly replied, their eyes locked on one another.
Stepping forward, Angela leaned in and captured Tony's lips for a sweet, light kiss, filled a thousand sentiments.
Licking his lips and placing his hand up to his mouth, he stuttered, "Wa, what was that for?"
"Well, I told you and now I'm showing you!" Angela took her mother's advice from earlier to tell him, then show him then tell him what she had just showed him, after all, "men are stupid", Mona quipped.
Confused but excited with what he was just told and showed, the only sensible reply was 'Oh oh, I get it" a nervous laugh, "It's like, it's like it's like that game, show and tell!" He stuttered, nervously laughing. "Well, that's good, it's good, cause I like that game, ya."
A determined look on her face, "Me too, maybe we should play it more often." She walked out, leaving Tony stunned and bewildered.
"Maybe we should play it more often!" "I like you!" Her words repeated themselves over and over in his head as he stood there, alone in the television study, shocked my Angela's boldness and assertion. He knew he had neglected her during this trip as he got caught up in the glitz and glamour of Washington, not to mention the attention of an attractive and intelligent woman. He was there for a purpose and cause, to support the Medicare bill, not to help himself yet that's what he had degraded himself to, a patsy of the political system. But despite the grandeur and glamour he had been tempted with, he stayed true to his convictions, his ideals didn't sway and he didn't change his vote like they wanted him to but what had suddenly changed, without warning or fanfare was his perception of what his and Angela's relationship had become.
Those three words, "I like you," followed by that sweet and tender kiss was everything Tony had longed to hear for so long yet it stirred every emotion and feeling he had fought so hard to burry. Their relationship was just beginning to get back to the comfort and closeness they shared before he nearly ruined it all with his relationship with Kathleen. They had just begun to rekindle that spark that electrified a small city. So much had been done and said over the course of the last year yet, there was so much that had been left unsaid, unfaced, unmentioned. He harbored the guilt he felt over his relationship with Kathleen, yet he was unable to face the hurt and pain he had caused Angela. The past year went by without much discussion regarding the events of the previous summer, their minds and time had now been filled with raising Billy. Their relationship once again put on the backburner, not to be discussed or addressed again, till now.
"What was that all about," he wondered. "Was she giving me a sign or a hint or just expressing her pride in my decision to stay true to my convictions? The agony of not knowing the meaning behind Angela's statement and her motives for that kiss couldn't be left for later, because later would be too late. He had to know, he had to catch her before they were once again in the company of the family where their guards would be up again, and their inhibitions tightly tucked away. He turned and darted out the room after her.
Heading toward the elevators, he hollered, "Angela," just as the doors to car 4 slammed shut. Frantic, he pushed the button to call the next car but opted instead to dash down the ten flights of stairs in hopes of catching her in the lobby.
Leaping from the top step of the last flight of stairs, he pushed his way through the stairs door just as Angela stepped out of the elevator car. Breathless and overly exerted from his mad dash rush down the stairs, he mumbled, "Angela, wait!"
Shocked by his sudden appearance in front of her, sweat dripping down his cheek, his face flushed, his breathing rapid, she gasped, "Oh my God Tony, how did you get down here so quick, are you okay?"
Trying to catch his breath, he stuttered, "Ya, ya, I'm fine, just a little winded, boy, I need to get back into shape I guess, those stairs were murder."
"What the hell are you doing running down ten flights of stairs like that?"
"I had to catch you before you left, I had to," his breathing strained, "I had." He couldn't finish.
"Sit Tony, catch your breath. You had to what?" A shy smile creeping upon her lips as her heart began to race in anticipation of Tony's motives for nearly killing himself to catch up to her.
"I had to talk to you, I couldn't let you leave like that, after that, what was that all about," he rambled?
Staying firm with her earlier convictions of confronting Tony with her feelings, she reiterated, "I just wanted to make sure you knew how I felt, I didn't think I'd told you in a while. At least since," her mind wondered back to Jamaica and everything that occurred afterwards.
"At least since when, Angela," Tony inquired humbly knowing the answer but wanting to hear it from her.
"Nothing, just in a while and I wanted to make sure you knew, that's all." The insecurities of the last year creeping into her psyche once again.
"Since I almost derailed everything, we had last summer?" The escape of his words as shocking to him as they were to her.
This was the first time the effect of his relationship with Kathleen had been touched upon since that afternoon in her study. Over the course of the last year, they had ignored every aspect of conversation that would bring them back to that moment when Angela's entuned perception of Tony's behavior led to the revilement of Tony's actions. The only solace she took from the whole ordeal was that he cared enough not to lie to her. His brutal honesty had devastated her. Her world came crashing down on her with his simple three-word reply, "I don't know," when she asked if the one night was all there was between him and Kathleen.
It took every ounce of willpower and bravery to face him in her study that afternoon. Her suggestion that perhaps that was the path they had to take to see if they could go any further was her way to cover the pain she felt from the million pieces her heart had shattered into by his revelation. She mustered all the courage she had to let him off the hook, to give him a way out but still maintain her dignity and some fragment of their relationship intact. "I don't want to lose that," was all she had to give him at the moment to express how important their relationship was to her and she breathe a sigh of relief when he acknowledged that he didn't either.
The year went by, she dated Peter and Christopher for a short while but hadn't considered anything more serious until Andy came into her life. But as faith would have it, Tony broke it off with Kathleen and Angela stepped away from Andy and there they were again, their undefined relationship taking center stage in their lives, yet nothing had changed. They didn't discuss their respective relationships nor their own. They went about their lives as if six months of it never occurred, until now.
With tears beginning to swell in her eyes, Angela straightened her posture, trying to compose herself before she whispered, "Yes, I suppose so!"
Having regained his strength and regulated his breathing, Tony stood up, extended his hand to Angela and requested delicately, "Walk with me? I think it's time we talk, I think I owe you an explanation." His voice solemn and unsure.
Rising to meet his eyes, Angela could see the insecurity and hesitation that his declaration had stirred with-in him, "Tony, it's okay, you don't owe me any explanation, it's in the past, let's leave it there."
Taking a deep breathe, he held her hand tightly, "No Angela, for us to move towards the future, we have to put closure to the past and that begins with me. I need you to know why, we have to talk about last summer, I owe you the truth."
His words cut deep! She had managed, for a year, to cover the scars that last summer left and she wasn't quite prepared to rip the bandage off and face exposing all the feelings and emotions that lay beneath them. But she saw the look in his eyes and knew the enormity of his request.
"Are you sure?" Was all she could muster.
He shook his head in affirmation, "Yes!"
The two headed out of the ABC News building towards Lafayette Park. The mile-long walk was fairly quiet except for a few comments regarding their surroundings and how busy the streets where with daily commuters bustling about.
Angela's feet were beginning to scream with agony as they made their way into the park, finding a cozy bench under a century old oak tree. She hadn't been prepared to walk a mile in 2-inch heals so the relief the bench afforded her made her sigh as she sat down.
"Are you okay?" Tony inquired with concern upon hearing her sigh.
"Ya, I'm fine, just my feet are killing me from that walk, I don't guess these shoes were made for walking." She giggled.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause you more pain."
"It's okay Tony, really, I've walked longer distances in higher heals before, I guess these just aren't broken in enough yet." She tried to easy his guilt.
Sitting down next to her, he turned to face her as she messaged the balls of her feet, trying to comfort the burn that had been ignited from the friction of pantyhose and shoe insoles.
"Here, let me," he tenderly reached for her leg, extending it over his lap as he began to lightly message her feet like he had done after the Ferguson's wedding so many years prior when the depth of his feelings for her began to resonate in his soul.
Her heart skipped a beat as she felt the strength of his hands upon her delicate feet, "God his hands feel so good," she thought to herself, trying to contain the flush that was forming on her cheeks.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" She broke the silence that had fallen between them as he continued to pleasure her feet.
Taking a deep breath, Tony exhaled as he began, "About what you said back there, you know, that you liked me and how we should play show and tell more often." His brow began to sweat.
"Ya," she giggled, what about it?
"Well Angela," his words not coming as easily as he had hoped, "You showed me, now it's time I tell you what I should have told you a long time ago.
Her heart began to race, "Is this it," she thought to herself, "Is he going to be the first to tell me."
"I'm sorry!" He spit out.
Confused as she came out of her trance of thoughts, her heart sank as she now thought, "Oh my God, he's going to tell me it's over and it hasn't ever really begun." Her stomach began to turn in knots. "Sorry for what?" She finally released from her lips, afraid as to what the answer might be.
"I'm sorry for hurting you last year. I'm sorry for everything I put you through because I was unable to face my own fears and insecurities about us." The flow of words came out as if he had opened the flood gates and broke the dam unable to stop the gushing that proceeded. "I made a mistake, a huge mistake because I was a coward, afraid of where our relationship was headed and unable to or unwilling to stop it's direction. After Jamaica, I knew where my future was headed but I couldn't face it. I couldn't admit to it because that would involve admitting that I was falling for my boss."
Angela's eyes filled with tears, "Oh Tony," she gushed, "But"
"Please, let me finish," he interrupted. "Kathleen was safe, a safe anchor for me to hide behind. It wasn't fair to her, she's a great girl and I used her as a wall, a safety net. We had a lot in common, both adults in college, similar backgrounds, nothing to be threatened about. We're at the same place in life with similar goals for the future." He trailed, "But it was moving in a direction I didn't want to go, not with her anyway so I had to break it off. I had to be honest with her and myself that although I didn't know what direction my future was headed, I didn't see a future without you in it and that meant she couldn't be a part of it."
He took another deep breath, his hands shaking as he continued to message her aching feet.
"I should never have let you walk out of the study that fateful afternoon," he continued as tears swelled in Angela's eyes, her attempts to keep them restrained failing with every word he spoke, "I should have been man enough to tell you I had made a mistake but I guess it was my way of trying to figure it all out. When you told me that perhaps it was part of our journey that we had to take to see if we could go any further you gave me my way out. I almost died inside when I saw the pain and hurt in your eyes. But I wasn't strong enough to admit to you then that I didn't want to lose you because of how much you meant me, what our friendship meant to me, what our family, meant to me. I tried to go after you but you had already left with Peter and I was left with the guilt of knowing I had once again pushed you into the arms of another man. You'll never know the jealousy that kept creeping over me every time I would see you with Peter or Andy. Of course, you already know the ass I made of myself with Christopher. He was the real threat I guess but he wasn't a threat at all, was he?"
She shook her head in agreement.
"Andy," he sighed, "Andy was the one that really concerned me. The real threat to our future together. But as always, you were the strong one and you chose our family and me over your needs and desires. Something I guess I've failed in reciprocating time after time." Tears began to form in his eyes.
"And now, here we are again, a year later and I continue to make the same stupid mistakes, letting my insecurities and doubts get the best of me. I got caught up in the moment, the power, the glitz, the glamour,"
"The attention of pretty girl," Angela interjected softly.
"Ya, another safety net." He sighed.
"Truth be told, sleeping next you on that train was the most excruciatingly difficult thing I've ever had to do. My heart was pounding, my mind was racing, I was going crazy laying there in that little bed next to you. Your wonderful scent, so natural and breathtaking was driving me so insane that I couldn't even sleep despite how exhausted I was. So after my debacle of a speech in front of Congress and the embarrassment I caused myself, my misguided survival tactics kicked in again and despite how much I was looking forward to being here with you and would have enjoyed spending time with you, it was easier to get swept away by Christine and everything she represented."
Looking up to catch Angela's tear filled eyes, Tony brushed away a lock of her hair that was covering her eyes and continued, "Then there you were again, my anchor, my home base, my foundation to everything I know and cherish most telling Christine to get lost, how we're good together and how nobody, including her would come between us."
Shocked, Angela whispered, "You heard that?"
"I sure did," he wiped away a tear that had escaped her eye, "And that's when I realized that I was the one coming between us. I was the one causing you all the pain and insecurities about what was happening between us. You've always been so secure and determined, so honest and truthful about us and your willingness to accept me for me, no reservations, no inhibitions, no doubts about what our future could be. You've given me time to figure out who I was, you've supported me in every aspect of my life, even when you didn't agree with my decisions, you stood by me when I decided to raise Billy and when I went chasing after Sam to bring her home. You've been my rock, my guiding light, my north star and I've never shown you or told you how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate everything you've done and meant to me over the last seven years. I've taken you for granted Angela, always secure in knowing you'd be there when I needed you, giving me your friendship without reservation and your forgiveness unconditionally."
He looked back down at her foot that he still held in his hands as if as long as he held her foot, she was unable to run away from him in disgust and resentment for the year of pain he knowingly caused her.
Looking back up to face her, his voice trembled as he admitted, "I like you a lot Angela, more than I ever thought possible, more than I probably should being as you're my boss and all but you're my best friend more importantly and I don't ever want to lose that."
"Oh Tony, you never will," she gushed as the tears could no longer be contained. "And I do forgive you, I want us to move past last summer and enjoy being us again. I want to watch movies and eat popcorn with you, laugh and joke with you, sit on the porch swing and watch sunsets and sunrises with you, gaze at stars together. I want to raise Billy with you and enjoy every challenge that being parents to a young, energetic boy presents, with you. I want to stroll through the park hand in hand with you and steal kisses on a park bench with you. I want to see where this, whatever this is between us, goes. I want to..."
"I want it all too," Tony interrupted as he leaned in and captured her lips for a sweet and tender kiss. "A stolen kiss on a park bench," he smiled as their lips parted. "No more Kathleen's or Christine's or Peter's or Andy's, okay?" He whispered.
"No more," she replied with a smile.
"Just you and me and see where this path leads us?"
"I can't wait!" She tenderly stroked his cheek, softly placing a kiss upon it.
The pain and uncertainty of the past year had finally found closure, they were embarking on a new path, a new beginning, a new road that would lead them to "The Tunnel of Love!"
***Credit for the opening dialogue goes to the creatures and writers of Who's the Boss. I do not own or claim any copyright to the beginning dialogue. ****
***Inspiration for this story came from angie1379. I greatly enjoyed both Angela's Journal Vol 7 and A New Horizon. ***