Expiration Date

Cast:

Rosa: Scout

Hilda: Soldier:

May: Pyro

Gloria: Demoman

Leaf: Heavy

Dawn: Engineer

Selene: Sniper

Green: Medic

Serena:Spy

Nate: Miss Pauling

Note: This is my first fic. So go easy on me. I also wrote this story after a day of work and at 11 PM and was a bit disoriented. Most of the story is based off a TF2 animation of the same name by Valve. I recommend you watch the short. I do not own any of the characters, they all belong to Pokemon, the story idea belongs to Valve. I do not own any of the art or media in this fic either. This story is crossposted on Wattpad under the name StrangezStoutShako StrangeFryingPan.

A dusty road on a barren desert of an unknown region. It seemed no one passed by for weeks. Suddenly a van veered by. We now get a better look at the vehicle. It appears to be a delivery van of some type, with bullet holes riddling the side of it. The camera pans over to the driver's seat. With two women. One is focused on driving while the other dozes off in the passenger seat. Suddenly a ringing sound is heard. The driver, Leaf, notices a device ringing. She then smacks the passenger, Rosa, awake.

Rosa: "Gwaa! Bwaa! What?! What? Oh."

Rosa reaches over to the device and presses the answer button. A black and white video call appears on the screen, with a young man in what is likely a secret base of sorts.

Nate: "Rosa, its Nate. Tell me you got the briefcase."

Rosa: "Yeah, sure."

Nate: "And nobody saw you?"

Rosa: "Ehh (Shrugging) basically nobody."

Nate (his expression darkens): "Rosa I'm here right now."

Suddenly the door to the back of the van bursts open and a large busty woman barges in, squishing Rosa's face against her seat. That would be Hilda, good to have in a fight but probably has lower IQ than an earthworm.

Hilda (Smiling proudly): "Hello Nate! We killed everybody and took the briefcase!" (Shows a bloodstained briefcase)

Nate: "Not everybody guys. You left 7 grunts."

A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Nate turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. The hand collapses.

Nate: "Six."

The camera cuts to a rear shot of the van pulling into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and several Sentries and a building in the distance. A dead Team Rocket grunt can be seen draped on the roof of the van. As the van drives in, a wooden prop of a cactus with some desert plants pops up and a painted curtain background falls into place, disguising the entrance.

Nate: "Look, just keep the briefcase safe okay?"

The van pulls into a garage, as the grunt's body falls of the van.

Nate: "Have a good weekend guys."

Hilda: "Goodbye Nate! I'm leaving the van now." (Exits)

Rosa: "Bye, bye. Okay then"

Rosa: "Hey, hey, Nate, before you go, uhh.."

Nate (dragging a body): "Yeah?"

Rosa stammers and appear to be trying to put together a sentence.

Nate: "Rosa say something"

Rosa: "You're probably real busy this weekend right?"

Nate (holding an axe): "Funny you should say, looks like I'll be burying bodies all weekend so you girls don't go to jail."

Rosa: "O-oh good. So we're both busy." (She says the last part almost like a question)

They stare awkwardly until sirens are heard in the distance.

Nate: "Oh, gotta go now, bye." The call turns off.

Rosa: "A lot of people busy, with... busy-ness."

Serena walks by,

Serena: "Asking out that dial tone I see."

Rosa (pointing): "Go to hell, Serena." (chuckles)

She exits the van. In the background we see Hilda trying to remove a corpse from the van's hood, Leaf helping herself to a sandwich from the fridge, and Gloria hopping on a teleporting and disappearing. Rosa approaches a table with a teleporter, a loaf of bread, and a notepad. Dawn and Green, the team's smartest (maybe not sanest) members.

Rosa: "Hey! What are you two eggheads working on?" (Tosses keys, which clatter onto the ground.)

Rosa: "Nice, catch..."

Dawn: "Listen, we've been running some experiments on the teleporter, and y'all gotta take a look at this." Wow

Dawn activates the Teleporter; it starts whirring into action. Hilda stands with her arms akimbo. Suddenly, another loaf of bread appears, silently hovering. Leaf is somewhat intrigued, but the Hildais utterly amazed, reaching out with both hands to grab the loaf. Rosa, however, is unimpressed.

Rosa (sarcastically):"Wow, you can teleport bread. That is.. big news. Hey is Gloria back with the drinks yet-"

Green takes the loaf of bread and breaks it in half, revealing pulsing green blobs on the instead causing Rosa to jump back in fear.

Rosa: "Whoa! What the hell is that?"

Green (cheerfully): "Tumors!"

Leaf, in the middle of chewing a bite of her sandwich, looks at it with concern and stops eating.

Dawn: "Y'all knows what this means, right?"

Hilda violently grabs Rosa by the collar and slams her on the table and raisers her fist to punch her.

Hilda (angrily); "Arrgh! We cannot teleport bread anymore!"

Dawn: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, not exactly Hilda. You can teleport as much bread as you like"

Hilda then smiles brightly and stops her attempt to murder Rosa.

Dawn takes off her hat solemnly and looks at her team.

Dawn: "That goes for all of y'all. If theres anything you wanted to do before you well, (shrugs) die, now would be a, good time."

Cuts to Serena, sitting on a chair with a glass.

Serena: "How long before these, tumors, kill us?"

Green is pacing back and forth, deep in thought.

Green: "Lets say we all use the teleporter, say six times a day, times four years, minus we're not bread. (Stops) Three days. (Turns to her team) Yes, (dramatically) we all have three days to live!"

Rosa and Leaf look worried while Dawn looks down at the floor. Hilda, confused, counts off with her fingers: one, two...

Gloria appears in a flash from the idle Teleporter, startling the rest of the team. She triumphantly celebrates her arrival with a crate of tropical drinks with limes wedged in the necks, she is also wearing a a bandolier of drink cans. As she wobbles precariously on the Teleporter as it slows down, we can see that she is also festively clad in a beach hat and novelty Margarita shaped sunglasses while also carrying another drink. She probably just been back from a party in Alola.

Gloria (cheering):"WHOOOOOOOOO! Whooooo! Woo. (Looks around at everyone)What?"

Headquarters, 70 hours till death

Serena tosses a metal bucket onto a poker table. The bucket appears to be filled with pieces of paper.

Serena: "This is a bucket."

Cut to a side shot of the girls at the poker table. With Gloria on the far right in the foreground grasping a drink everyone else is arranged counter-clockwise from her: May, Selene, Leaf, Scout, Hilda, and Serena on the right foreground. Everyone is wearing an odd watch with a large digital display. Half-standing, Hilda examines the bucket.

Hilda: "Dear God"

Serena: "There's more."

Hilda (astonished): "No..."

Serena (ignoring her):"It contains the dying wish of everyone here. (Turns to Rosa) You did collect everyone's wish?"

Rosa: "Oh you bet!"

She salutes. Leaf slowly folds her arms.

Serena: "Excellent. Ladies, synchronize your death watches."

Everyone taps the watch on their wrists, causing to start counting down from 70:00:00. 69:59:59, 69:59:58...

Everyone is emotionless except for Leaf who is on the verge of falling asleep. Serena walks around the table with her arms on her back.

Serena: "We have 70 hours to live. For most people, no time at all"

The camera cuts to a shot of Serena walking behind Leaf's back. She places a hand on the Leaf's shoulder, jerking her awake. Leaf momentarily looks guilty.

Serena:"But we are not most people. We are Pokemon trainers!"

Serena now walks behind the table. The camera pans to a shot showing all trainers gathered around the table intently focusing on her words.

Serena: "We have the resources, the will! To make these hours count!" (Gestures emphatically)

Serena:"The clock is ticking ladies. Lets begin."

The trainers' expressions show varying degrees of interest. Serena draws a note card from the bucket.

Serena: "Our first dying wish is Rosa's! She's..."

She examines the note, her smile fades into a frown as she wrinkles her eyebrows.

Serena: "Drawn a picture of me getting hit by a Rhyhorn."

It is a somewhat crude drawing. We can see a stick figure Serena with X's for eyes as a angry Rhyhorn impales her with its horn.

Serena (peering closer): "I appear to have something radiating off me."

Rosa: "Yeah those are stink lines. (Turning to the others, Leaf is mildly amused)(In mock whisper) Thats why the Rhyhorn hit her, cuz she smells."

Serena (rolls her eyes and draws another card): "Yes I see. Here you drawn me having..."

The camera remains focused on her face.

Serena (blushing and slighting bemused): "...sexual congress with Ash. (Tosses card away and Rosa giggles) Ash having sexual congress with me. (tosses and giggles) Both of us relaxing, post-coitus."

Gloria (confused): "Wha-"

Serena (getting irritated):"Me crying as Ash has stink lines coming off of him (slams card down on the table) DID ANYONE BUT ROSA PUT A CARD IN THE BUCKET!?"

Leaf and Selene are quite amused, while Rosa is dying from laughter.

Rosa: "Oh man, classic"

Serena (sighing): "Fantastic. This was a huge waste of my time."

Hilda (holding up a card):"You did not read mine!"

Serena (another sigh): "Does it say you want the bucket?"

Hilda (interrupting): "Yes!"

Disgusted, Serena slides the bucket over as the rest of the trainers get up to leave. Hilda greedily grabs the pail with both hands. The camera moves to an overhead shot of the now-empty table.

Serena: "See you all in hell!"

The camera switches to the trainers walking down a hallway. Hilda stops and examines her new bucket next to a sign pointing to the "LAB". Dawn and Green walk by pushing Teleporters and piles of bread on two carts to the lab. A loaf of the bread falls off of the pile and Hilda gasps and grabs her bucket more tightly. The camera spotlights the loaf with ominous bass piano notes. A grin appears on her face as she stares at the fallen loaf. The screen cuts to black.

Serena's private room, 58 hours till death

Cut to rear shot of Serena sitting back in her leather arm chair. She is drinking a glass of what appears to be the tropical drink Gloria brought from Alola. She is also reading a newspaper with the headlines "Boy from Pallet town wins newly established Alola League!" Jazz music can be heard in the background. The room is reminiscent of a classy Kalos mansion. The door knocks

Serena: "Go away."

Rosa peeks in

Rosa: "Hey, uh, you got a second?"

Serena: "Oh Rosa, please, go [bleep] yourself."

Rosa (nervously): "Ha real funny, um, anyways I-"

Serena lunges at the door, slamming it shut on Rosa's body, trying to force her out.

Rosa (in pain): "Wait! Wait! Oh come on Serena..."

Serena raises a knife threateningly.

Rosa: "I'm wedging my head through a door here to tell you I'm sorry."

Serena rolls her eyes and lets Rosa in.

Serena: "Make it quick"

Rosa: "So I did write one last dying wish. (holds up card) I want to go out on a date with... Nate."

Serena (turns): "You? You're terrible with boys."

Rosa: "What, no, no, no. Look at this, and this, and this? (Gestering towards various parts of her body) I'm great with boys."

Cuts to a scene at a Pokecenter. Rosa is standing at the front desk idly with another random boy.

Rosa: "Hey, we both got nothing to do. Wanna do it?"

Boy: "Eh, okay"

Cuts back to the present

Rosa: "But you, Serena. You are amazing with men. You know, classy ones. The kind that smell good, and can read. And that seem to never age. You know? The ones that don't go for a girl like me.

Serena (slightly flattered): "And why is that, you think? Hmm?"

Rosa: "Cmon Serena, I don't know"

Serena: "Well, a mystery we take to our graves. Goodbye."

Rosa: "Well, wait. Ah. (sighs in defeat) Alright fine. You are better than me, okay? I need your help"

Serena (grinning): "Alright, I'll do it. Under one condition."

Serena pushes a button on the console and a microphone pops up. She blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. The camera goes from the poker table with Gloria drinking, Leaf and Selene dozing, and May reading a magazine; to Green and Dawn in a lab, with the tumorized bread; and to Hilda carrying away a giant pile of bread loaves in her arms. All perk up to the sound of feedback on the speakers.

Serena: "Say that (pushes mic towards Rosa) again."

Training Gym, 51 hours till death

Camera slowly pans into a nearly empty gymnasium. Rosa bounces on her feet on the right, looking nervous. Serena calmly places a wine bottle on a cart and inspects two wine glasses. Behind her is a crash-test dummy, hanging on a stand. She pushes the cart which rolls to a stop in front of Rosa. It also holds a bucket of drumsticks, red roses, a vase, and a box of chocolates.

Serena (nonchalantly): "Seduce me."

Rosa (confused): "What, you?"

Serena: "Seduce me"

Rosa: "What, Serena, I ain't gonna..."

Serena: "SEDUCE ME!"

Rosa: "Right! Right. Okay. [she looks down at the cart. She immediately picks up the bucket of fried chicken and lets out a quick sigh.] Okay... [She walks up to Serena.] H-hey there, good-lookin'... I got a bucket of chicken..."

Serena (She slaps the chicken out of Rosa's hands.): "I'm not one of your fried chicken punks! I'm a man! I like my women dangerous... Mysterious... [Serena takes the dummy into her arms and starts dancing with it briefly before holding it in front of her.] You want to be my lover?! Earn it! Seduce me! [She uses the dummy to slap Rosa across the face, who looks up at her with a hurt expression in her eyes. Serena simply looks down at her with a smug grin on her face."

The camera cuts to a shot of Serena and Rosa in a classroom setting. The word DINNER is written on the chalkboard as Serena says something to Rosa. Later, Rosa can be seen sitting at the head of a long banquet table. At the other end, Gloria and Selene can be seen playing the Piano and Saxophone, respectively. Behind him, May and Serena are holding a box of macrons and a bucket of chicken. Rosa reaches for the bucket of chicken with a grin on her face, but Serena slaps her hand away. The fork flies out of her hand and impales Gloria's hat to the wall, causing her to scream.

Cut back to Serena and Rosa in the classroom, only this time DANCING is written on the chalkboard. Back in the previous room, Rosa can be seen awkwardly dancing energetically. She points both her fingers at Serena, who merely shakes her head with disgust. Serena proceeds to show Rosa the proper way to dance, while Rosa looks on in confusion. He attempts to mimic Serena's actions, but instead sends the dummy flying into the Reel-to-Reel player behind them.

In the classroom, the word DEMEANOR is now written on the board as Serena continues to educate Rosa, who is busy drawing a picture of Serena being pecked by a Fletchling. She hits Rosa in the face with the pointer, who reels back in pain.

Rosa can be seen reading a book titled Pick-up Lines for Fast Food Junkies. A can of soda is set in front of him. Jump cut to the future, and a pile of books has begun to accumulate around Rosa, who has a pencil clenched between her teeth. More cans of soda can be seen littered around the room, and she is now reading a book titled Dating Nice Men. Another jump cut, and the pile of books has been turned into a makeshift throne, which Rosa has a more confident expression on his face.

Cut to Rosa back at the banquet table, and she extends her pinkie out as he holds the chicken. Later, she can be seen gently kissing the cheeks of the dummy as Serena watches. Rosa then can be seen dancing around the room with the dummy. She lowers the dummy down, holding onto its back with one hand as she looks up to Serena, who nods her head in approval. The head of the dummy falls off as the music reaches a crescendo, and Serena eyes it with a bemused expression on her face. Cut to black.

Training Gym, 2 hours until death

Floodlights come to life, illuminating Rosa, who is sitting in a classroom chair in the middle of a wrestling ring. After a brief delay, she raises her hand in front of herself to shield her eyes from the bright lights.

Serena: "Final question. You have dinner at seven, what time do you arrive?"

Rosa: "Seven, AM. Case the restaurant, run background checks on staff, can I trust the cook, if not, I kill him. Dispose of the body, replace him with my guy by no later than 4:30 PM."

Serena: "You're ready."

Rosa (hopefully): "I am?"

Serena (chuckling): "To fail. Everything you said was insane, and we're out of time."

Rosa: "Oh I failed, did I?"

Serena: "Yes"

Rosa: "Did I?"

Serena: "Yes"

Rosa: "Did I?"

Serena (annoyed): "Rosa, where is this going?"

Rosa: "Where this is going I don't need you. I'll set up a date myself."

Serena (amused): "Yourself?"

Rosa: "That's right, fancy pants, myself! [Serena's mouth twitches as she stops herself from laughing] So why don't you take your little failure, roll it up sideways, and- [Serena taps her watch, voicelessly reminding Rosa of the death watch] -Okay, crap, I gotta go... [She begins to walk off-screen, but leans back towards Serena.] Screw you, though... [She walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of Pokemon theft, push button. As she does so, she turns around, casually hits the button with her fist, and points at Serena as he walks away. Sirens start going off and red alarm lights begin flashing.]

Green's laboratory, 1 hour till death.

The blackboard has the results of previous teleporter experiments written on it. The camera slowly pans to the left, revealing Dawn and Green with a pair of teleporters set up between them. As Green inspects the teleporter, Dawn calls out to her.

Dawn: "Y'all ready?"

Green: "Ready!"

Dawn picks up a loaf of bread. The tumors are now plainly visible on the outside. She sniffs it briefly, then recoils backwards, making a noise of disgust. She places the bread on the teleporter, and it disappears in a flash of light. About a second later, it reappears in front of the Green, and begins chittering loudly, squirming in place.

Green (leaning closer): "Oooh"

The bread grows teeth and roars at Green, who lets out a scream of fear as the bread creature leaps at her throat and latches onto it. Green continues to scream as she grabs onto the bread creature and attempts to pry it off.

Dawn (rushing over): "Aw hell."

Cut to a shot of Nate on a scooter, speeding towards Headquarters. A body bag and shovel can be seen strapped to the back of it. He ramps off the wooden bush and flies right through the curtain. A look of determination can be seen on his face. He comes to a stop outside a steel plate door and hops off of the scooter, shotgun in hand.

Headquarters, 40 minutes till death

Nate pushes his back against the wall and racks his shotgun.

Nate (taking a deep breath): "Alright, here we go."

He kicks the door open, only to see Rosa standing there.

Rosa: "Nate, what an unexpected surprise."

Nate: " Alright, they took the Pokemon (waling past Rosa) We can get them back, and the Professor will never have to know."

Rosa: "You look... uhhh.. ahhh..."

We then see a shot of Gloria, Serena, and Hilda watching the scene through security cameras. Serena is seated.

Gloria: "Drunk!"

Hilda: "Round! No, soft! No, round!"

Gloria: "Blurry!"

Serena shakes her head in disappointment and puts her hands to her temples.

Back to Rosa and Nate

Rosa: "Uh.. ravishing."

Nate(Looks through a window, ignoring her): "Wait, the poke balls are right there. Wha- (Looks around the room) Rosa, are we having a prom?"

Rosa: "Yeah, nah, yeah-ah, well the thing is...

Cuts back to the security room. Hilda has a grin on her face, Gloria looks concerned, and Serena looks worried. Dawn and Green enters the room. Green is holding a glass jar with the bread monster suspended in liquid. Green has bandages around her neck.

Dawn: "Everyone, good news! Its just bread that gets tumors!"

Green: "Its not even tumors! It's some form of self-aware beauty mark that only metastasizes in an environment of pure wheat. Here, watch this. [Green shakes up the jar she's carrying, which contains the bread creature from earlier. It spins around in the jar and comes to a stop.] Ooh, look! It hates me so much!

The bread creature attempts to bite Green again as Hilda leans in for a closer look. The bread creature flips itself in the jar and gnashes its teeth at the bottom of the container, and Hilda chuckles to herself at its actions. Dawn walks up to Hilda and Green and places her arms around their shoulders.

Dawn: "So there's no need to worry. (laughs) So long as nobody teleports any bread."

Hilda: "Question."

Dawn: "What's your question Hilda?"

Hilda: "I teleported bread."

Dawn (smile fading): "You what?"

Hilda: "You told me to."

Dawn (threateningly): "How, much?"

Hilda (leaning back): "I've done nothing but teleport bread for 3 days."

Green angrily smashes the container on the floor and lifts Hilda up by the collar.

Green: "Arrgh! Where have you been sending in it?!"

An ominous rumble shakes the entire base as the group look up at the ceiling. Cut to Rosa and Nate, who are also looking up at the ceiling

Nate: "Rosa, I get one day off, a year, and you wasted on... (looks around) this. Goodbye."

Rosa: Wait! Wait! Wait! Ah... [Rosa walks towards a door labeled Dining Area.] Why don't we discuss it over dinner...? [He opens the door to reveal the maw of a giant bread monster, who lets out a loud roar]

Nate: "What the hell is that?"

The bread monster crashes through the door as Rosa pulls Nate out of harm's way. The two run for the exit as the bread monster lunges after them, crashing through a wall. Rosa backs up as one of the tentacles swipes at her. A Pidgey flies at the monster and is promptly eaten by it. The wooden platform they're standing on creaks from the weight of the monster. Both Rosa and Nate look down at the wood below them. Another jolt knocks them off their feet. Now weakened, the wooden platform collapses, sending the trio plummeting to the dirt below. Nate tumbles to the ground. Rosa, meanwhile, bounces off the bread monster and lands on his feet in a battle stance. She picks up a long piece of twisted metal with a spike on the end of it to use as a makeshift weapon.

Rosa: "Nate, run!"

Rosa motions for him to escape to safety. Nate climbs to his feet and darts away, pressing himself up against a bomb cart. Leaf, Green, and may rush to the aid of Scout and Miss Pauling. Leaf and Greenpause and look at the bread monster with fear in their eyes.

Leaf: "Now!"

Leaf, Green, and May throws out their poke balls, and a Venusaur, Chansey, and Blaziken appears respectively. They are joined by Hilda with a Axew, Dawn with a Sentret, Gloria with an Aegislash, Selene with an Alolan Raichu, and Serena with a Braixen.

Venusaur uses Solar Beam while Chansey supports it from behind. The other Pokemon joins the battle. The monster slams the cliff with a tentacle causing debris to fall on Venusaur, which endures the hit. Meanwhile Nate looks at the bomb and an idea pops into his head. Blaziken steps on a tentacle and uses Flamethrower on the monster, causing it to recoil in pain. Rosa runs at the monster and hits it with her makeshift weapon, but it grabs her with a tentacle and lifts her in the air. Selene's Raichu destroys the tentacle with a thunderbolt and Rosa falls back onto the ground and knocks over Aegislash. She tries to rejoin the battle but is held back by Serena.

Serena: "I think its going pretty well. (Explosion occurs offscreen) Now go."

Serena runs off and joins Braixen in battle.

Rosa runs towards Nate who is now wiring the bomb.

Rosa: "Nate I am sooo sorry."

Nate: "Oh Rosa, what for? Pressing the one button you're never suppose to press? Do you have any idea what would happen if- (notices the death watch) Oh, oh give me your watch!"

Rosa (taking the watch off and handing it to Nate): "Yes exactly! This is where it all starts. Wait actually-"

She is cut off as Hilda lands on the ground next to them with Axew in her hands. A tentacle grabs her leg and starts dragging her away.

Hilda (proudly): "HA HA HA HA! I TELEPORTED BREEeeaadd!" Her voice fades as she gets thrown into the distance.

Back in battle a tentacle knocks Blaziken and Aegislash back to their owners while Sentret avoids another one. Raichu tries to fire another thunderbolt but was hit with a tentacle and knocked out. Selene recalls it and sends in an Alolan Raticate which tries to join the battle but was blocked by the bomb cart being pushed by Rosa and Nate.

Rosa:"...so that brings me to my next point which is that I like you and"

In the background Chansey is treating an injured Blaziken

Nate: "Everyone! Hold the blast doors!"

Everyone recalls their pokemon and rushes towards the doors as they start to close.

Rosa: "Look, in my last few hours, I just wanted to.."

The monster lifts up the bomb cart and waves it around.

Rosa: "Uh.. never mind."

Leaf (struggling to keep the doors open): "COME ON!"

Nate: "RUN!"

The pair runs towards the door but the monster throws the bomb at the door, blocking it.

Rosa: "Oh god"

They back up towards the blast doors as the bread monster lumbers towards them slowly. A large fire has broken out behind it. Cut to a close-up of Rosa and Nate. Nate is busy searching for an escape route while Rosa has a look of terror on her face. Nate grabs a hold of her and yanks her off to one side as the bread monster knocks the bomb around. They take shelter behind it. Rosa looks at the monster, which lets out a long roar. Fast zoom to the inside of its mouth, and the Pidgey it swallowed earlier is seen sitting inside it. Rosa and Nate look on, amazed, as the Pidgey takes off and flies away.

Rosa looks Nate in the eyes, grabs a hold of his arm, and gives him a nod of approval. Nate lets out a yelp as one of the bread monster's tentacles slams into the ground. Rosa grabs a hold of him and, making use of the dance moves she learned from Serena, keeps him safe from harm. They stop as he holds her up and looks at her. She looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with the gun in her hand. He twirls her back onto her feet and the two start running.

Cut to a close-up of the timer, which ticks down to two seconds. Nate and Rosa run at the bread monster as she lets out a yelp. The timer ticks down to one second as they leap straight into the open maw of the monster. It closes its mouth as the bomb explodes. A bright flash of light can be seen engulfing the monster, then the screen cuts to black.

A match is lit, revealing Nate and Rosa pressed against each other in a tight space.

Rosa (groaning): "Nate, are you alright?"

Nate: "I can't feel anything below my neck (grimaces) oh now I can, ouch."

Rosa: "Oh god I'm so sorry for this."

Nate (grinning): "That was so much fun!"

Rosa: "So you're not mad?"

Nate: "I was furious. Oh my God, you set off the alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. But then there was this monster and we shot it and we built a bomb and I think my leg's broken. Can we do this again?"

Rosa: "Yeah, sure! [she smiles, then it quickly turns into a frown] Wait, nah. We can't. I'm going to be dead."

Nate (confused): "What?"

Hilda (Poking her head into the cavity): "Good news! We're not dying! We are going to live forever!"

Leaf lifts up the side of the monster's body, allowing light to flood over Rosa and Nate.

Green: "I didn't say that! I just said we're not filled with tumors!"

Rosa: "Oh thank god. (chuckles) Well I guess its a date."

Nate: "Actually this is my only day off this year."

Rosa: "oh"

Nate (taking out notepad): "Oh but you can come along with me on other jobs!"

The camera slowly pulls back to reveal the body of the monster, which now lays motionless. Dawn and Green are seen at the bottom of the shot discussing something. Serena flicks open her pocket mirror and looks into it. Leaf grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to Gloria, who is carrying a case of soda under her arm. Selene is on the backside of the monster, petting her Raticate. As the camera pulls back farther, May can be seen coming into the shot, who has the small bread monster darting around her legs like a puppy as she tries to keep track of it.

Nate: "Tomorrow I'll be burying the Rocket grunts you killed..."

Rosa: "No thanks"

Nate: "Oh you can help me calm some rampaging Gyarados!"

Rosa: "No to that."

Nate: "Oh on Friday I have to kill someone who pressed the alarm button and.. Oh wait you're gonna be at that one."

END

Author's Note: This writing is a one time thing. I came up with this idea after a day of work and I was a bit disoriented while writing this, so go easy on me please. If you come up with something interesting in the reviews I might (don't hold out hope) write another one. Once again I do not own any of the characters in this story nor do I own the story line or the art. Or anything really. Please give the original Expiration Date video a watch if you haven't already. Peace.