Summary: Rip can count the amount of time Leonard Snart's been alive again down to the minute. Largely because the arguing between Snart and Rory has been nonstop from that moment forward.
Time for Rip to take matters into his own hands.
(For Rip Week Day 2)
Two Weeks, Three Days...
It has been two weeks, three days, six hours, and seventeen minutes since Leonard Snart returned to life after being sort of killed and mostly dead from the Occulus, like Westley rising from death to be with his beloved Buttercup. Except Len's beloved isn't a dainty flower, it's Mick Rory.
And Rip is hyper aware of just how long it's been since they Miracle Max-ed Snart back to life because the two have been arguing – loudly – for the last goddamn two weeks, three days, six hours, and now eighteen minutes.
He loves his crew. They've become the family he never wanted and is sometimes still considering throwing out an airlock, but they're also the only reason Rip has for getting up in the morning these days. And he's very glad that Leonard Snart is alive again because the asshole grew on him, just like everyone else did.
But enough is enough.
"Gideon." Rip heaved a sigh. "Initiate lock down mode."
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Captain?" Gideon sounded hesitant. "They might be close to working…"
Something crashed in the distance.
"Never mind." Now Gideon sounded primly upset. "Initiating lock down procedures."
Across the ship, doors slammed shut. For a moment, there was blessed silence.
Of course, then the silence was broken by the entire crew shouting angrily, but Rip has a plan. It's a good plan. Hopefully.
He lets Sara and the other's out and instructs them, through Gideon, to meet him on the bridge. That leaves Snart and Rory in 'quarantine' in the galley.
"What the hell, Rip?" Sara demanded the moment he walked onto the bridge.
"I'm sorry about that. Lock down has to cover the entire ship first and can only then be raised for certain sections. The only place still locked down is the galley. Where Misters Snart and Rory are."
"Oh… I think I get where this is going," Jax muttered.
Stein frowned and Rip could almost swear the man was pouting. "Well that makes one of us, anyway."
"Are you doing the equivalent of locking them in the closet together?" Ray asked with a grin.
Sara smirked for a moment, then frowned. "Wait, if we're keeping them locked in, then where are we getting our food from?"
"There are personal replicators in everyone's rooms," Rip said. They all stared at him. "They… I showed them to you on the second day tour. They're right above the reclamation unit."
More blank stares.
"Right. I see a refresher tour of your own bedrooms is in order," Rip muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Anyway, the point is we'll be fine. Plenty of food. But it's coming up on three weeks and I cannot take anymore of their arguing."
Stein raised a hand.
"Yes professor?"
"Is the replicator that odd shelf near the door?"
Was it too much to ask for the crew to focus for more than a minute at a time? Not that Rip could throw stones, but honestly.
"Wait for the tour, please." Rip sighed. The shelf being referred to was just a shelf. And there wasn't anything 'odd' about it. Honestly.
Len and Mick scowled at the vid screen where they could see the tiny faces of their crewmates. "What do you mean we're locked in?" Len demanded. "There's absolutely no reason for this."
"The two of you haven't stopped arguing for two weeks, three days, seven hours…" Rip trailed off. Took a deep breath. And then glared at them. "This has to stop."
"We haven't been that bad," Mick grumbled.
"Yeah, you have," Jax told them.
"Have the two of you considered couples counseling?" Ray added, tone conveying a sense of helpfulness that wasn't actually present.
"We do not need couples counseling," they both snapped at the same time.
"Bullshit," Sara retorted cheerfully.
"Either you agree to couples therapy," Rip told them, "or the two of you are stuck in there until you've talked things out and buried the hatchet."
The transmission cut.
The two thieves sat there, staring at the blank screen in disbelief.
This, Gideon thought with an internal sigh, might take a while.