A/N

Another One-shot. I felt rather stressed today and needed something funny to relax. :D

Again: Nonsense and silliness. I wrote it down without thinking much ;-)

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to save my kidnapped brother."

Kakashi blinked.

He was going to do what?

Save Uchiha Itachi?

His kidnapped brother?

What in kami's name was happening here?

"You want to… save your brother?" Kakashi repeated, just to make sure that he had heard it right.

"Yes," Sasuke answered vehemently, his eyes taking a determined glint. "Someone took him from me – and I will get him back."

"Someone kidnapped your brother?!" Naruto jumped up and stared at him. "Who? Why?!"

"I don't know," Sasuke answered grimly. "All I know is that they murdered my family, framed my brother for it, and now he is gone. I think they took him to keep him quiet."

"That's terrible!" Sakura whispered, her eyes wide in horror.

"That's-" Kakashi began.

"- totally cruel! You're right, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto yelled loudly, looking furious on Sasuke's behalf.

That was not what Kakashi had been trying to say. "It's not-," he tried for the second time, only to get interrupted again.

"Don't worry, teme," Naruto declared resolutely. "We will help you get him back. Right, Sakura-chan?"

"He isn't – "Kakashi got ignored again.

The girl nodded. "Of course."

For a moment, Sasuke simply stared at them before his lips turned into a tiny smile. "Thank you."

Kakashi sighed.

Great.

Just great.

Now he had three delusional genin to deal with.

"Have you seen my older brother? He looks like me, just a bit older."

Kakashi groaned as Sasuke stopped for the twentieth time to ask a random civilian for his brother's whereabouts.

He could not let things continue like this. They would never get their missions done if Sasuke stopped every five steps to inquire after his brother.

It did not help that neither Naruto nor Sakura seemed to mind it at all.

Quite the contrary.

They spent a lot of time pointing out people Sasuke had not asked yet, even going as far as doing the asking themselves when the Uchiha was occupied with interrogating someone else.

So far, Kakashi was the only one not taking part in the Uchiha Itachi investigation–and apparently the only one still caring about the actual mission.

Things really could not be worse.

He was wrong.

Because somehow his cute, delusional genin had gotten their little hands on a Bingo book.

Three pairs of solemn eyes met his the moment he entered the training ground. There was so much grim determination in their faces that he did not even get to make his customary excuse.

"It's even more serious than we thought," Sakura informed him in a grave voice.

"He's in the Bingo book, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto told him quietly. "The Bingo book!"

"Whoever added him there must have lots of resources." Sasuke mused, his lips set in a tight line.

His teammates nodded wordlessly.

"It seems there are more people involved than we thought," Sakura added thoughtfully. "Powerful people."

The three genin exchanged dark looks.

"Then we will be even more powerful!" Naruto declared loudly, punching his fist into the air. "We will be the strongest team ever, dattebayo! And we'll get your brother back!"

His teammates agreed enthusiastically.

Kakashi sighed deeply.

Great. Now they were even more determined than before.

Oh, well. At least they had the teamwork down.

"You don't want to take the exams?" Kakashi asked when Team Seven collectively declined to fill out their forms.

"No," Sasuke answered plainly. "We want more time to train."

"It would be cool to be chunin," Naruto added. "But that's not gonna help us find Itachi."

"We prefer to use the time for further investigations," Sakura agreed.

Kakashi nodded slowly. "Okay. If that's what you want." He ripped up the forms and smiled.

"Hey Sasuke!"

"What is it, Naruto?" the Uchiha inquired, still shifting through the large number of documents littered on his living room floor.

"One of my clones just popped."

"One of those you not-so-secretly send off after we left Wave?" Sakura asked curiously, looking up from the file she was currently reading.

"Yeah," Naruto agreed. "He found a lead."

Sasuke's head immediately snapped up. "Where?" he demanded sharply. "And when?"

"About three days away from here. Someone with your brother's description was seen there two hours ago. He was wearing a black robe with red clouds on it."

Sasuke's eyes sparkled. "You know what that means, right?"

Two heads nodded in agreement. "We can find your brother!" Sakura stated happily.

"Well," Naruto added. "What are we waiting for?"

Kakashi stared at the note that his genin had somehow smuggled onto his doorstep without him noticing.

It read:

Gone to save Itachi.

Love

Team Seven

P.s. Please water my tomatoes while I am gone - Sasuke.

P.p.s. Eat some extra ramen for me, will you, sensei? – Naruto

P.p.p.s. Don't listen to Naruto, sensei. Please stay safe and eat healthily - Sakura

Below that were three stick-figure drawings of Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke waving cheerily at him.

How cute.

Sighing deeply, he pocketed the note and left to find the Hokage.

When the two Akatsuki members had accepted their mission, they had thought that it would be business like usual. Go there, do the mission, get paid and leave.

Nothing could have prepared them for the additional fifth step, though.

The two men watched in complete disbelief as three children approached them at a rapid pace, waving cheerfully at them.

"Are they waving at us?" Kisame asked, bewildered.

Itachi did not answer. He had recognized one figure as his little brother and the other one as Konoha's jinchuuriki. The pink girl was an unknown to him.

He suppressed the urge to groan.

What was his brother doing here? Why was the jinchuuriki with him? And even more important, how could he get the children to leave without having to injure them seriously ?

While Itachi was busy worrying over the important questions, their three visitors had reached them.

The older Uchiha braced himself for his younger brother's hateful words.

But he was mistaken.

Sasuke simply grinned brightly, his eyes sparkling with joy, and jumped forward to throw himself at his brother.

Itachi blinked in sheer confusion as Sasuke collided with his chest, wrapped his arms around his waist and squeezed tightly. "Brother," he muttered. His voice was strangely unsteady. Was he crying?

"I missed you," Sasuke mumbled into his cloak.

Kisame stared at them. "What the hell?"

"Oy, fish-face!" Naruto suddenly yelled at him. "Are you the one who kidnapped Sasuke's brother?"

Kisame blinked. "I… what?"

"That was very mean of you," Sakura narrowed her eyes at him. "Sasuke was very sad."

"Yeah!" Naruto agreed heatedly. "He actually cried you know!"

Kisame's head whipped in Itachi's direction. "Itachi, what the hell is going on here?"

The older Uchiha returned his dumbfounded look with a lost one of his own. It was a rare expression on his face, and Kisame took a moment to appreciate it.

"Let him go," Naruto demanded and fixed Kisame with an angry glare. Next to him, Sakura nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry, Itachi-san," Sakura assured him with a gentle smile. "We are here to save you."

"Save me?" Itachi repeated slowly, trying to dislodge his clingy brother, who only tightened his grip around him.

"Sasuke told us everything," she answered while Naruto was still busy glaring Kisame down. "He said that you got framed for killing your family and the culprits kidnapped you."

"Is he the one who took you?" Naruto demanded and pointed at Kisame.

"Wait," Kisame interrupted suddenly and gestured at Sasuke. "That kid is your little brother?"

"Yes," Itachi answered flatly and grabbed the boy's head with both of his hands, forcing him to look up at him. "Sasuke. Nobody framed me. I did it."

Sasuke scoffed. "Did they tell you to say that? Because I am not believing you."

"You don't have to take the blame, Itachi-san, " Sakura told him softly.

Kisame laughed. "I had not idea someone could be so delusional. These kids are hilarious, Itachi."

His gaze focused on something behind Naruto. "But I believe we are getting even more visitors."

Itachi narrowed his eyes. "ANBU. Probably here to retrieve the children. Kisame, we are leaving."

"What? Why?!" his partner asked, very displeased with the Uchiha's decision.

"We are not supposed to draw attention," Itachi replied curtly. He carefully freed himself from his brother's embrace and a second later, they were gone.

"I believe they aren't following us," Itachi remarked, glancing over his shoulder.

"No," Kisame answered, his voice vibrating with something that sounded strangely like mirth. "They aren't. But you might want to look down."

Itachi slowly lowered his head only to meet Sasuke's eyes. "I am not losing you again," the boy declared vehemently.

Itachi stared at him, torn between frustration and happiness, and absently wondered just how he had managed to cling to him through all that confusion.

Kisame roared with laughter. "Oy kid! Want to meet my leader? The one who assigned Itachi to me?"

Sasuke immediately looked interested, and Itachi unconsciously pressed his little brother tighter against his chest. "Kisame," Itachi warned darkly, "Do not enable him."

His partner grinned at the protectiveness in his tone.

The Hokage gazed grimly at the two children standing happily in front of him, looking completely unbothered by the serious faces around them. "Naruto, Sakura. Where is Sasuke?"

"Don't worry, Hokage-sama," Sakura chirped. "He is completely safe."

"Yeah, jiji," Naruto agreed, equally cheerful. "You don't have to worry."

"Where is he?" the Third repeated, his voice slightly strained.

"With his brother, of course," Naruto answered matter-of-factly. "Family should be together."

"Itachi-san will take good care of him," Sakura assured the horrified shinobi. "He is a kind older brother. Right, Kakashi-sensei?"

All eyes turned to the jonin who simply patted the girl on her head. "Of course, Sakura-chan."

"Hatake!" Danzo snapped. "This is serious! Your genin committed treason! They left the village without authorization to run after a traitor!"

"Treason?" Kakashi repeated, dangerously calm. "They ran into a S-class missing-nin proficient at using genjutsu and messing with minds. There is hardly anything treasonous about being overpowered by a stronger shinobi."

"He didn't-" Naruto began, but Kakashi quickly put his hand over the kid's mouth to silence him. "And they did have authorization to leave. I have filled in all the paperwork for a training trip."

Kakashi handed over a piece of toilet paper he had hastily scrawled a few lines on.

"That isn't-" Danzo protested, but the Hokage received it gracefully and immediately put his stamp on it, careful not to smudge the red lipstick the document hab been written with.

"Approved," he announced gravely. "Now let us talk about getting Sasuke back."

Danzo could only watch helplessly as all his protests were completely disregarded.

Pain looked from a grinning Kisame to a stoic Itachi, to the kid clinging to him and back again.

He did not know what was going on, but he was already getting a headache.

"Itachi, explain," he demanded against his better judgement.

"This is my brother," Itachi answered stiffly. "Sasuke."

Pain blinked. "Your… brother?"

Sasuke dislodged himself far enough to look at the orange-haired man. "Are you the one who kidnapped him?"

Pain stared at him. "Excuse me?"

Kisame laughed. "Sasuke here seems to believe that we kidnapped his brother - and wants to save him."

Pain raised an eyebrow at the youngest Uchiha, looking decidedly unimpressed.

"I was under the impression," he began drily, "that you had eradicated your entire clan?"

"He didn't do it!" Sasuke interjected indignantly. His voice came out rather muffled because his head was still half-pressed against his brother's cloak. "Itachi is too kind for something like that. He was framed."

Kisame laughed even louder.

"I see," Pain answered slowly. He didn't. But he was sure he did not want to, either. "And you brought him here why?"

"He refuses to let go," Itachi informed him calmly. Pain wondered if Itachi was even aware of the protective stance he had adapted and that it was clearly his arm that was pressing the child against his side.

Apparently getting rid of the kid was out of question unless he wanted an Itachi-induced mutiny.

His head throbbed even more.

Great.

"He is your responsibility," Pain ordered finally. "Keep him under control and out of trouble. If he causes any problems, I will not hesitate to enforce his compliance. Understood?"

"Yes, Leader-sama," Itachi replied, tightening his grip on his brother.

"Naruto?" Sakura's arm froze in midair, the dango stick halfway to her mouth.

"Yes Sakura-chan?"

"What do you think Sasuke-kun is doing now?"

Naruto slurped down the noodle he had been chewing on and hummed thoughtfully. "Probably hanging out with his brother."

"They must be happy to be reunited," Sakura commented, contently sipping her tea.

Naruto nodded in agreement.

The two of them continued eating in joyful accomplishment, so lost in their happy little bubble that they completely missed the restaurant's patrons slowly edging away from the two sparkling children.

"And this is the kitchen," Kisame finally ended the tour of the base with a great flourish.

The room's occupants turned to stare at him.

"Kisame," Hidan started slowly. "Why are you showing Itachi around the base?"

"Did he bump his head?" Deidara asked eagerly. "Because he's living here, you know?"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "Idiots," he grunted.

"I believe," Sasori commented casually. "That Kisame is not showing Itachi around, but rather the one attached to him."

"What?!" Deidara's head whipped around to look at Itachi. Something he usually avoided to do because he was still very miffed at him.

"Who the hell is that?!" Deidara yelled when he finally noticed the kid clinging to the Uchiha.

"My brother," Itachi answered simply and stirred Sasuke into the room, steadfastly ignoring the loud expressions of disbelief.

"You have a brother?!" That was Hidan.

"Why the hell is he clinging to you?" Deidara.

"Kisame," Kakuzu cut in, tired of the excited yelling. "Care to explain what happened?"

The addressed man grinned and happily recounted the tale, suppressing a laugh when his usually cold partner pressed a tomato into the child's hand.

"I can't believe he thinks we kidnapped him!" Deidara yelled, completely flabbergasted.

"Personally, I think it is more interesting that he manages to completely ignore Itachi's deeds," Sasori remarked, "The child is clearly delusional."

"Be silent," Itachi's voice suddenly cut through the room. He sounded annoyed. "Sasuke is sleeping."

Five heads turned in his direction and stared at the peacefully slumbering child in the man's arms.

That was the scene Pain walked in only moments later.

He took one look at the pair of brothers, rolled his eyes, and went out again, muttering about having to stock up on headache relievers.

A/N

Maybe I'll add to it at some point, so I won't mark it as complete.