Chapter One: Bonnie Held Hostage
Kim Possible could do anything, and cheerleading was part of it.
That was why she'd been training nonstop with the squad for the big games. Together, they moved their legs, shook their hips, and moved in unison. It was an elaborate dance routine, and together they moved as one unit.
When Kim had applied for the role, Bonnie had given her a routine no one should have been able to do. But Kim had done it, and now she meant to ensure that her team could do it too. Even now, she was leaping upwards to land on top of the human pyramid when-
Someone moved wrong, and the whole thing collapsed.
Kim Possible rolled forward and landed flat on her face. Looking up, she brushed strands of her red hair out of her eyes. Above her, she saw Bonnie Rockwaller, beautiful, brown-haired, and dark-skinned. And she was looking down at her. "Wow, are you alright, Kim?
"I think we should complain to whoever had us making these elaborate moves in the first place. Oh wait, that was you."
"Hey, we can do it!" said Kim, standing up.
"I dunno, Kim," said Tara, blonde and blue-eyed as she stood up. "Don't you think we're overdoing it? I mean, these moves are kind of professional?"
"It's kind of impossible," mused Hope.
"No, it's not," said Kim, standing up, "anything is possible!"
"But Kim," said Tara. "We're already the No. 1 high school cheerleading squad! Why do we have to keep making these moves?"
"That's not the point," said Kim, straightening her blue cheerleading uniform. "Just because we're the best doesn't mean we can get careless. If we don't keep working at it, someone else will surpass us!
"We can do anything!"
"Does that include failure?" asked Bonnie flatly.
"Well... um..." said Kim, shifting. Finally, she decided to cede the battleground, seeing as everyone was tired. "Why don't we call it quits for the night? I mean, we're already overclocked as it is. Nice job, all of you."
Once Kim finished changing, she headed out of Middleton High School. As usual, she found Ron Stoppable waiting for her. Ron was leaning against a wall, arms crossed, and blowing a blonde strand of hair out of his eyes. Looking up, he smiled and ran to her. "Hey, KP!"
"Oh, though, it's that loser Stoppable," said Bonnie quickly to the others. "Don't make eye contact."
"Oh, Ron, there you are," said Kim, feeling a bit embarrassed. "What are you doing here after practice?"
"Well, you know me, KP," said Ron. "The Ronster isn't the sort to let you walk home alone. Hey, Bonnie, how's it hanging?"
"Don't talk to me, I can already feel my coolness levels dropping," said Bonnie. Then she raised her hands and walked away.
"Good job, guys!" called Kim to the other cheerleaders. Then she looked back at Ron. "Um, Ron, you want to head out?"
Ron nodded. "Yeah, sure."
And so they began to walk home together like they'd been doing since forever. It was summer vacation in a bit, so they'd have plenty of time off soon enough. Kim put her hands in her pockets and looked to Ron. "So, um, why did you wait until after practice? Don't you have homework to do?"
"Eh, education is useless; nobody cares about it on a resume," said Ron with a shrug. "It's all about being a smooth talker and knowing people. And Ron Stoppable is the best at that."
"So shouldn't you be working on that, then?" asked Kim with a smile.
"Oh come on, KP, I know everyone," said Ron. "Even if, um, they don't know me. But the cheerleading squad recognizes me, so that's something."
"Um, yeah, because you show up every practice when you could be working on something," noted Kim.
Ron sighed. "Sorry, I um...
"I could stop if you want."
What? Why would he want that impression? Kim forgot how insecure Ron was sometimes. "No, forget it." And then she noticed a hairless rodent with pronounced teeth peeking out of Ron's pocket. Kim blinked. "Ron, what is that?"
Ron reached down and took the creature out of his pocket. "Oh, this is Rufus, my new pet. Dad doesn't want me to get anything with hair, so I got a naked mole rat instead. Allergies, y'know."
"And you're keeping him in your cargo pants?" asked Kim.
"Well, yeah, why not?" asked Ron. "Keeping this little guy in a cage would be cruel. This way, Rufus can hang out with me. Right, Rufus."
To Kim's surprise, Rufus nodded enthusiastically. She felt a bit weirded out by this. "Right, well, you did housebreak him, didn't you?"
"Obviously, Rufus is way smart," said Ron. "He knows about all that. So uh, want to head to the usual place?"
"Nachos again?" asked Kim, surprised.
"Why not?" asked Ron. "Bueno Nacho is the greatest restaurant in the history of restaurants."
"It's owned by LexCorp," said Kim.
"How is that a mark against it?" asked Ron. "Lex Luthor is my idol! I mean, he grew up in the slums to an abusive household! The guy started with nothing and now look at him! He's running Metropolis and like, sixty percent of the city works for him whether they know it or not!
"Also, your dad works for him, so don't rock the boat."
"Ron, that's a rumor. It's not actually true," said Kim. "If he did have that kind of control, someone would have broken up his monopoly by now."
"Oh, you sweet summer child," said Ron with a mock condescending voice. "Besides, he owns Club Banana too. And you shop there all the time, even though Smarty Mart is way cheaper."
Kim shifted. "Oh, well, um, that's different."
"How?" asked Ron.
"Well, Club Banana is a clothes store," said Kim. "Everybody needs to buy clothes and um..." How to explain the intricacies of not being caught dead wearing stuff from Smart Marty Mart?
"Why not go to Smarty Mart instead?" asked Ron.
"I'd be laughed out of school if I went to Smarty Mart," said Kim, coming out and saying it.
"I wear Smarty Mart all the time," said Ron, annoyed.
"Yeah, but you're Ron Stoppable," said Kim, annoyed. "I'm the head of the Cheerleading Squad."
Ron shrugged. "Kim, Smarty Mart, and Club Banana get their clothes from exactly the same supplier. The only difference is a little tag that says 'Club Banana.'
"It's a complete waste of money."
"It's essential to my image!" said Kim. "That tag makes all the difference."
"Don't worry about your image," said Ron, rubbing a hand against his chest. "I don't, and look at me."
Kim looked at him, flatly. As they walked, they passed a number of department stores and alleys. In a place like Gotham, this would be dangerous, but fortunately, this was not Gotham.
Ron took the point and sighed. "Alright, fine, so maybe I have a bit of an image problem, but I'm working on it okay. And I don't have to waste limited funds on something stupid like Club Banana."
And then a man rounded the corner and pointed a gun at them. Oddly enough, Kim felt completely calm. "Hold it right there."
"Whoa! Whoa, don't shoot!" said Ron.
"Hand over your wallets now," said the man. "And no tricks."
"Okay, okay, I'm handing over my wallet," said Ron, drawing it out. As he did, however, Rufus came out of his pocket with him. The mole rat snake forwards up the mugger's arm and bit it. The man shrieked from the pain and dropped his gun.
And then, on some reflex or urging, Kim moved. She struck, as naturally as if she'd been born for it and hit hard. The blow caught him upside the head, and he was flung back, landing hard. Staggering up, Kim picked up the gun and stared at it as the man fled.
Silence ensued.
Kim felt nothing. It had been easy, incredibly easy at that.
"...KP, that was amazing," said Ron.
Kim nodded. Then she looked at him. "Yeah, I told you those martial arts training we took would come in handy.
"Nice thinking with Rufus."
"Actually, I was trying to get my wallet," admitted Ron. "Rufus looks after it for me."
Silence ensued as Kim quickly looked over the gun and found she knew how it operated pretty well. A bit of work let her open the chamber. Finally, she spun it around and sheathed it. "So uh...
"Nachos?"
"Definitely nachos," said Ron. "Start the summer off right and all that."
One meal of Nachos later {Ron paid for once} Kim Possible got home by herself. Ron apparently was cooking dinner for his Mom tonight. Ms. Stoppable often worked late these days since the bank had been seeing a lot of business.
Kim was glad she never had to cook dinner for her parents. She was surprised to find Mom reading a magazine. Dad wasn't back from Lex Labs, from the looks of things. "Oh, hey, Kimmie, how was your day."
"Great, Ron and I got held up at gunpoint, and we punched the guy out," said Kim. She felt as though it was an everyday occurrence. Except it wasn't, she should have been terrified.
Mom looked up in surprise, seemed to be about to say something. Then she looked down at her magazine. "Oh, that's nice, dear.
"So, how was cheerleading practice?"
Kim sighed. "Oh, um, not so good.
"We were trying out some new moves, but um... the girls want to lay off a bit."
"Well, you are already the top of the national polls," said Mom. "Mad Dogs win with cheerleaders every time."
"I know, but I just feel like we should still be pushing the limit," said Kim. "I mean, my website says 'I can do anything.' Ron said it was kind of braggy, and I've got to prove him wrong."
"Why?" asked Mom.
Kim sighed. "You know how Ron gets when he wins. Every single time Ron gets a confidence boost, he goes out of control."
"That's not true," said Mom.
"What about that time he won the lottery?" asked Kim. "He went around handing out money like it was candy and lost it all in a week." Although a bunch of charities was very grateful. And Ron had seemed pleased that Bonnie started dating him during that time.
Mom laughed at that. "Well, that's Ron for you.
"Seriously, Kimmie, you should try and be a bit less competitive. Relax."
"Oh, another thing," said Kim, drawing out her pistol. "Um, what do I do with the gun-" Then she accidentally pulled the trigger, and there was a bang. All of a sudden, there was a hole in the ceiling. Kim dropped the gun in surprise, and it went off again, blasting a hole in the window.
"Kimberly Ann Possible!" said Mom. "Why are you carrying around a live firearm?!"
"Because I don't know what to do with it?!" said Kim. "I couldn't just leave it on the street for anyone to find it."
"Give it to me," said Mom, grabbing the gun. Opening it, she took the remaining four bullets from the revolver. Then she disassembled it for good measure. "Kimmie, the first rule of firearm safety. Always treat a gun like it's loaded. Because it might be."
"Jim, Tim, are you experimenting with rockets again?" said Dad, coming through the door.
"No, Dad!" said Tim from above.
"We're trying to rig up our own computers!" said Jim.
Dad paused as he came across the corner and saw the broken window. "Then what happened?"
Kim smiled nervously. "I uh... accidentally fired a gun indoors."
"Kimmie, always treat guns like they're loaded," said Dad. "You could kill someone."
"Yes, Dad," said Kim.
Five minutes later, Kim was back at the computer. And then she remembered she had to talk with Bonnie about the practice schedule. It wasn't something she was looking forward to. So, she made a call.
"Yeah, KP, what is it?" asked Ron.
"Hey Ron, I just found something I need to deliver to Bonnie," said Kim. "Could you come with me?"
"Huh, sure, I'm game," said Ron, surprised. "But why do you need me there, KP? I mean, I know Ron Stoppable is an improvement in any situation but-"
"It'll irritate Bonnie, it's a long walk, and I could use the company," said Kim. "Today has been nuts."
Ron agreed, of course. Kim could always rely on him to do as much; it was why they'd always been friends. They met at the usual place and took the Bus to Bonnie's neighborhood. Said neighborhood had a lot of much more expensive houses in it. Kim had used to like the idea of growing up in one of those.
"So, what is it you need to talk about with Bonnie?" asked Ron.
"Bonnie's been on the team longer than anyone else and kind of feels like I stole her place as Team Captain," said Kim. "So I usually consult with her on the routines we do.
"Since the whole team wants a different plan, I figured I'd talk with her. And well, I'm hoping your Ronness might smooth things over."
"Booyah, am I right, Rufus!" said Ron.
Rufus emerged from his pocket and squeaked in agreement.
They got off the bus and made their way past the various mansions. Eventually, they came to Bonnie's house, and Kim felt all the more self-conscious. She hated coming over here.
"Wow, Bonnie's house is huge, isn't it?" said Ron.
"Yeah," said Kim. "She pretty much lives her with her mother. Her sisters used to live here, but they graduated. Bonnie's parents are usually out, though. Going to public events and such."
"Isn't her Dad a 'legitimate businessman?'" asked Ron. "The kind the works in Gotham?"
"Well," said Kim. "Nobody has ever been able to prove anything, but, yeah. Both her sisters won the talent show without being very talented. So uh, that ought to tell you a few things."
And then, just as they were making their way in, a van pulled up to the gates. They halted as a number of black-clad men came out, wearing masks. They were carrying rope, heavy assault weapons, and one of them set explosives on the gate.
"Hey, um..." asked Ron. "Doesn't that van look a bit lower class for Bonnie's house."
And then the gate exploded.
In ran the men in black, before shots were fired. Probably private security.
"Oh, Jesus Christ," said Ron. "We've got to do something."
Kim did not like these odds at all. "Ron, there are five of them, and they've got guns. We should just call the police!"
"The police aren't here, KP," said Ron. "We've got to do something."
Ron was right. If they did nothing, chances are they'd get away with whoever they were here for. "...I'm going to regret this.
"Come on, Ron."
The two of them ran to the gates, as the shooting continued. Coming to the car, Kim had an idea. "Ron, do you still have that pocketknife I got you for Christmas?"
"You know it," said Ron.
"Great," said Kim. "Slash the tires, now."
"Hang on, that's destruction of property," said Ron.
One of the windows exploded outward as bullets shot through it.
"Good point," said Ron.
As Ron began to slash the tired one by one, Kim dialed a phone number.
"This is 911, what's the situation?" asked the voice.
"Yeah, I'm at 303 Middleton Avenue, we've got a break-in here right now," said Kim. "Guys with guns are trying to kidnap a friend of mine." Bonnie and the word friend so totally didn't mesh.
One report later, she looked up to where Ron had...
Well, utterly annihilated the car. He'd slashed the tires and apparently several other parts of the car. "Ron, you done?"
"Yeah," said Ron. "I'm glad I read those mechanical books. Still, if Mom found out I was slashing tires, I'd be grounded for years."
"We're in a hostage situation, Ron," said Kim.
"Great," said Ron. "Now what?"
Kim looked back and decided she did not want to fight a group of men armed with heavy rifles. Seeing some bushes near the window, she decided that it would be a good place to hide. The street was too exposed. "We get out of dodge. Come on."
Quickly sliding behind the bushes, they saw the five men come out. With them was Bonnie, tied up and gagged. She looked more annoyed than terrified, though. Why was she always so detached?
Then the men reached the car.
"Boss, someone has slashed our tires," said our man. "And they sliced the transmission too. This thing isn't going anywhere."
"What now?" asked another. "Should we bail?" One of them was near the bushes as a rearguard, scanning around. Kim saw an opportunity and surged out of the bushes, surprised at her ability to do so silently. Grabbing the man from behind, she covered his mouth and pulled him in. Then she rendered him unconscious with a move.
"We'll get out of here, quick," said the man. "Jacob, get over here, we've got to-" He looked up. "Jacob?"
Kim realized she couldn't do a direct assault on them; she'd get gunned down. So she looked at Ron. "Ron, start a distraction. We need to draw them away. Get as many as you can to follow into the house."
"Me?" asked Ron.
"I need your help," said Kim.
By now, they were fanning out, looking concerned. Some of them were calling for Jacob. And then Ron leaped out of the bushes and in front of the door. Bonnie, who had been wholly indifferent, had her eyes light up for a moment.
"Hey, looking for me?!" said Ron, leaning against the wall.
"Kill him," said one.
Ron sprinted through the door as machinegun fire tore through the doorframe. It was a miracle he hadn't been hit, and Kim realized he might have been shot through the walls. How thick were they?
Either way, two of the men were racing after him. The boss and another man stood guard outside. One of them was holding Bonnie, a gun near her head. Kim looked down and realized that Jacob had a gun she could use. If she took a flanking position, she could mow him down easily.
No, that would be murder.
And how did she even know what a flanking position was anyway? Either way, both were looking around, and Kim knew she'd be found if she tried anything. And then there was a rattling and a clanging sound. The men looked to the door for an instant.
"What the hell was that?" asked the boss.
Kim silently leaped out of the bushes and was on the hostage-taker. Snatching the gun from his hands, she laid him flat with one open-palmed strike. Bonnie fell to the ground, and Kim whirled to see the boss. Even now, he was turning toward her, raising his gun.
Everything seemed to go in slow motion, except Kim was moving at normal speed.
Surging forward, she disarmed him and slammed him down with the butt of her rifle.
That was two down.
Kim hoped Ron was okay.
Turning, she quickly took the gag off Bonnie and started untying her. "Bonnie, did they hurt you? We need to get out of here?"
"Where have you been anyway?" asked Bonnie. "We're supposed to meet about the new cheerleading poses."
"Seriously?" asked Kim. How was that the only thing she cared about? "Come on, we need to find Ron."
"Yeah, I'll bet he wrecked my house on his way in or something," said Bonnie. "Some rescue."
"Beggars can't be choosers, Bonnie," said Kim, walking in.
"Right, whatever," said Bonnie. "So, do you think Ron is alive?" Her tone, well, it wasn't concerned. But it held some degree of interest, which was a close to concern as Bonnie ever got.
As it turned out, Bonnie need not have been interested.
They found the two criminals lying underneath an iron chandelier. Ron was some way away, looking very pleased with himself. Kim looked at him. "Um, what happened to them."
"Oh, I led them into the entrance hall and sent Rufus to chew through the chandelier rope," said Ron. "It landed right on top of them.
"So, how'd things go?"
"Oh, we're good," said Kim. "We took them all out."
"Oh, great, so glad you bothered to show up, Kim," said Bonnie sarcastically. "So, are we gonna talk about the cheerleader lessons, or are you busy pretending to play superhero?"
Kim felt just a bit annoyed at this. "That's a heck of a way to say thank you, Bonnie. We just took out an entire team of kidnapping."
"Yeah, and you dropped my Mom's favorite chandelier on them, too," said Bonnie. "Lonnie and Connie are never going to let me hear the end of this. Today is so totally lame.
"So, what are your plans for cheerleading?"
"Now hang on, Bonnie," said Kim. "What was all this about? Why were these guys after you?"
"Dad works in Gotham and is rich. Why do you think they were after me?" asked Bonnie. "Now, are we going to make plans for the new cheerleading squad? Or just stand here, destroying what little remains of my coolness factor."
"Well, uh..." said Kim. "I guess we could go over my ideas while we wait for the police."
This was really surreal.
In the end, they ended up coming to an agreement. Bonnie pointed out a number of things that were flat out impossible for the team. It was actually going well until the police arrived and made arrests.
Either way, Kim and Ron were getting home late tonight. Definitely missing dinner at that.
"Geeze, Bonnie really is unflappable," said Kim. "I mean, she literally had a gun put to her head, and she didn't stop snarking."
"Yeah, gotta admit, the sheer scale of her self-centered apathy impresses even me," said Ron. "So, are we gonna keep doing this?"
Kim stopped. "Doing what, crimefighting?"
"Yeah, why not?" asked Ron. "We took those guys out easy. And you're Kim Possible! You can do anything!"
Kim smiled. "Well, I guess it does kind of beat babysitting.
"Alright, we'll try for crimefighting Ron. But let's try not to have a showdown with guys with guns if we can avoid it."
Silence. "...Bueno Nacho?"
"You know it," said Kim.
One or two problems had happened, of course. But overall, a great day.
Author's Note:
Okay, quick note.
First off, yes, this is technically a DC Universe crossover. That said, this storyline takes place before any of the major superheroes have shown up. Superman had not gone to Metropolis, Batman isn't a thing yet. As such, this storyline is more going to be a pure Kim Possible story, if Kim Possible were a comic book set in the DC universe. So I feel listing it as a crossover would be inaccurate.